Stealing your gaze from the book, you look at your boyfriend who's holding a wine red lacy bra in his hands, stretching it toward you. Unlike his usual attitude, GOJO doesn't look much lively at the moment. In fact, he looks somewhat... meticulous, like he's operating a very dangerous experience and is about to witness the outcome of his efforts.
Having your eyebrows knotted together, you wordlessly take the bra in your hands, the base of your fingers gently but painfully rubbing against the soft fabric. Gojo tries his best not to let his smirk break out when you give him a quizzical look and squeeze the lingerie in your hands.
"This isn't mine"
There it is. Victory. The awaitened result of his brilliant plan to give you a taste of your medicine.
Gojo cups his mouth while expanding his fingers to give you a better look of his fake gasp through the gap between them, humming abruptly. He carefully takes a second look at the bra, then begins to mutter in a not so low voice.
"Ah— well, this is awkward" He looks at your bewildered expression from the corner of his eye and continues. "I didn't want you to find out. Not this way"
The logic behind this clever act was easy to understand. You chose to spend your day offs with your stupid, lame old friend from college instead of your incredible, handsome, mind blowingly gorgeous boyfriend, and this is your punishment. Your reasoning was too dumb and made up. Huh, how could you even look him in the eye and say you're doing this because he's just gotten back from Austria and needs you to show him around town and introduce him to your colleagues? You should've just shoved a dagger in his aching heart and told him that you dont love him anymore. So yes, you deserve this; and as they all say, revenge is a dish best served cold.
"But you see, I'm not the only one to blame in this. You are too. You were the one who left me in the dark hanging to go on a romantic getaway with that good for nothing punk"
"Satoru—"
"Let me finish. I know that it was just for three days and you did nothing but work together, but I'm a man y/n! A proud, strong grown man who has his own needs"
"Satoru—"
"I'm not an animal y/n, but how do you expect me to close my eyes and pretend like nothing's wrong? Because it is, and since I'm also an honest man, I couldn't bare with the feeling of getting abandoned by my own woman. You and I were supposed to rule the world, but you never wanted what we were—"
"Satoru!!"
Gojo grits his teeth and looks at you with slight irritation, wondering what's so important that has to interrupt his dramatic show; but his liveliness and acting power vanishes in a glance when his eyes land on the part of the bra you're pointing at while holding it up.
"There's a price tag on this"
Oh.
The small, round label is linked to the inside of the bra, which is probably why Gojo had forgotten to remove it. Yes, it was totally that; not because he was too focused on his dialogues that he forgot to even check the bra out.
Gojo stares at your jumped up eyebrows and annoyed expression, flashing you one of his most charming smiles; Only this time he can't make it as shameless as it usually is.
"Eh, I guess this shows how much I actually love you and care about you"
"You bought this two sizes bigger than mine you asshole"
A/n: Here's a thank you gift to you guys for helping me reach 1.1K ;)
"So? How do I look?" The slim woman in front of you gyrated with snobbery, smiling sweetly as she gave you a better look of herself. Her long legs were manifested elegantly, feet covered with a pair of black high heels, exhibiting her smooth buttery skin. The short black dress embraced her breasts loosely, leaving the curves of it peeping from the corner. How did she look? Stunning, breath taking, gorgeous, heart breakingly attractive. You could say all that, any of that; but instead, you smothered all the compliments your had on your mind, sufficing with a simple answer hoping your eyes could speak up for you, so that maybe she could see the clouds of admiration or maybe obsession in them.
"Good. You look good"
She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, sighing as she approached you with coherent steps. She still had her playful smile on, and it looked as tempting as ever. Her face was gorgeous. She was gorgeous.
OK but imagine him getting frustrated when you're working at the agency. All his share of attention is given to the damn paperwork, and he needs it all back; so he'll retrieve it by biting your cheek😠hes just that kind of man who would bite u, making u scream only to see the crimson on your face when others are staring at uðŸ˜ðŸ˜
dazai always has a stupid grin on his face too like he didn't just make you squeal and goes "oh, you appear to be a little red in the face, belladonna. you're not flustered by a bit of pda, are you?"
luckily for you, kunikida is to the rescue, trustworthy newspaper in hand as he smacks it over dazai's head and scolds dazai for bothering the ONLY employee who's actually getting shit done in this office ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
TOJI changes the channel on tv while taking a glance at you.
"Yeah?"
"I asked for pads with wings," You hold the pads in your hand "but these are just... regular pads"
After staring at the pads for a few second, he suddenly gasps.
"Fuck! The wings are still in the car!"
You're... not sure if you're talking about the same thing anymore.
"What wings, Toji?"
He puts the remote control down, standing up to get the car keys. "The chicken wings you asked for. I forgot to take them out of the car"
A grown man with two children is expected to at least know what wing pads are, but looks like that's too much to ask from Fushiguro Toji.
The annoyed expression on your face catches him off guard. You're clearly upset, but there's shock in your eyes too. This is another of those times when he can't realize what's wrong, but he has to at least try to make things better.
—Your boyfriend turning into a little baby? What are you going to do with him?
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Jouno X Fem! Reader
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Format: Drabble
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.8K
A/n: Mildly rushed but acceptable ig!
↳Osamu Dazai
"You know... I don't think this is a good choice for a bedtime story"
The little infant in your arms looked at you curiously. He wasn't old enough to make any sounds other than crying, but the martyred expression he was wearing and his firm grip on your thumb displayed his intention with no complicacy. Nevertheless, that didn't stop you from putting the suicide manual on the nightstand.
"Now now, don't look at me like that. I'm a good babysitter, and a good babysitter doesn't teach babies ways to kill themselves"
You gently caressed his puffy cheeks. "I'm also a generous babysitter, which is why I don't slap your hand away when you grab my boobs"
His gaze fell on his small chubby hand that was trying to get a hold of your breast. It was a good thing you had a T-shirt on, or with the way he was trying to cup them they would've been bleeding by now.
"I'm sorry honey, I don't think you can hold them anymore. Your hands are just too tiny!"
He whined and pouted in response.
"I know! I'm sad too. C'mon, smile a little for me will you? Smile for your mommy"
If he was still an adult, he would have rolled his eyes and smiled, but he wasn't. He was just a cranky baby who was probably planning your murder in his cute little head.
"Get it? Mommy? I'm your mommy! God you didn't have a sense of humor when you were a child did you? I miss my kind, loving boyfriend"
He looked at you unfazedly.
"Alright, how about I sing you a song? Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you aaaaaaaa— ah!?"
Dazed, you looked down at your baby boyfriend with widened eyes, only to find him staring back at you while his mouth was on your right breast. He was trying to suck on it, but that wasn't easy when it was covered with two layers of clothes, your bra and your T-shirt. Your eyebrows jumped in surprise.
"Wow, you still like the right one better?"
↳Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"So this is the power imbalance they were talking about huh?"
The violet eyed infant stares at you blankly, having a "it won't be this way for long" look in his eyes. You're holding him in front of you while sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the cheekiest grin you could ever wear.
"No wonder you were so crazy about it. Having somebody wrapped around your finger... feels awesome!"
Still the same bored look.
"giving me the cold shoulder now? I'm just using simple logic to prove my point-which is also what you used to do. I'm saying that from this moment, you're totally and completely dependant on me"
Fyodor tilts his head to the side and gives you a weird look, tempting you to imitate his gesture. A strong feeling is causing you to brag about the current situation and tease him, and you're willingly giving into it.
"Alright. Since I'm the one in charge now, I'm setting a few ground rules. No more acting all workaholicly and staying up until late. No more skipping meals, mister. Im gonna feed you with my special milk, hehehe~ Also, I've got some confessions to make"
It's probably a bad decision to bring these up right now, but you're too captured in the heat of the moment to realize that.
"Ok. I've been trying to tell you this for quite a while. The truth is... I'm pregnant"
The unfazed look is still on.
"Yeah, that was a lie. The real truth is... I was the one who ate all your snacks"
Still no change in his expression.
"...But I assume you already know that. Ugh, keeping secrets from you is such a pain... could you not figure me out for just once?"
Fyodor doesn't seem very eager to respond. He's already very annoyed with how things have turned out and is not really in the mood to joke around. You come to that conclusion when he touches your forearm with his chubby little hand.
"You're gonna activate your ability and kill me, aren't you?"
↳Nikolai Gogol
"Quiz time!!"
Your baby boyfriend whines in annoyance.
"Who's gonna get paid one in his own coin and suffer like I did every time he teased me?"
You flash him a cocky smirk, matched with the way you're looking at him from above as he's lying on the bed. You're standing next to the bed, happier than you could ever be, planning all the steps of your revenge as you trash talk to him.
"That's right. It's no one but youuuuu! Hahahahaha!!"
Nikolai wants to prove to you that he's still strong and nobody can defeat him, but he realizes there's noway he can imply that other by a sulky attitude, which he reluctantly suffices to.
You hold his favorite snack in front of him and shake it, smiling wildly. "Come on darling! Have some! Eh? What are you waiting for? Awwwww! You can't? Then I'll help myself!"
You shoved the entire thing in your mouth and laughed hysterically.
"Nom nom* tastes nom* heavenly! No wonder you never let me have a bite!"
Nikolai is starting to feel a little guilty now. He didn't know that his teasings have made you a spiteful whore.
"You hate babies so much, and now you are one! That's the scariest punishment itself! Can you feel the power of karma? It's a bitch, ain't it? Well, now that you can't talk anymore, I have something to say to you!"
You bend over until there's a small gap between you, pointing at his tiny figure. The bullying attitude is all gone and instead, there's soft glare lying in your eyes.
"I want one of these. Give me one when you get back, Kolya"
You're wrong. This is the scariest punishment.
↳Saigiku Jouno
"Thank you for the meal!"
Jouno is upset. There are many unfortunate things happening for him at the moment. He doesn't like to be a baby. He doesn't want to be unable to do anything other than crying, pooping, eating and sleeping. More importantly, he doesn't want to feel your teeth on his cheeks.
"Mhm, so soft and squishy!" You smile sweetly and look at his puffy cheeks, stained with your bite marks in crimson. "I could just eat you up now, 'giku. You taste so sweet!"
Anyone who hears this would be happy and blush slightly, but Jouno wasn't one of them, as he tilts his head and looks away, having the most adorable pout on his lips.
Grumpy as always.
"C'mon now, it's not that bad! Look on the bright side! Everyone will have to do everything for you since you can't do it yourself"
Jouno tilts his head back, his eyebrows jumped in surprise.
"Right, that wasn't a really good example of the bright side"
Sighing, you lay next to him on the matress, hands traveling through his white locks. His muscles relax a little bit as he gives into your warmth, nuzzling his head in your chest. You hum with a soft beam, inhaling his baby scent.
"You smell very nicely too, 'giku. Don't be too depressed about this. It's not the end of the world. We'll find a way to turn you back eventually. Plus..."
You lightly pat his back, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. "I can have you all to myself, since you can't go on any missions and leave me here all alone anymore"
Yeah, Jouno thinks, maybe it's not that awful after all.
↳Ranpo Adogawa
"Ouch! Why you- let go of my hair you aggressive baby!"
Ranpo cries a whine out and pulls your hair harder, leading you to scream back even louder.
"Stop it! What is wrong with you? I dont care how upset you are, I'm not gonna give you any sweets- ow ow ow!! Ranpo- I said let go of my fucking hair you dumbass!"
Your angry shout startles the dark haired baby. It's not just that he's little, you'd never talked like this to him before. Slowly loosening his grip on your hair, he starts sobbing quietly, covering his face with his chubby hands. This breaks your heart.
"Nooo... I'm sorry sweetie! Mommy- Aunty- god I dont even know what I am to you anymore! Whatever- I'm sorry ok? But you can't eat sweets baby boy, you're smart enough to know that, right?"
Smart enough to know that?? Huh!
Ranpo sees right through your little plan. He knows all these little tricks inside out- hell he was the one who taught you all of them; but what pisses him off is how it's working on him even though he knows your true intention.
The smirk you've been holding back shamelessly appears on your face when he wears a serious expression, nodding like someone who's given an important task and is determined to do it carefully and correctly, then points at your boobs.
Your smile instantly fades away.
"Shit. I'm not doing that"
↳Chuuya Nakahara
"Your struggle is hilarious to me"
Baby Chuuya watched you with a threatening glare. He was clearly unhappy about this situation, and you enjoying his frustration was not going to help him at all.
"I know you really need it right now, but honestly, I don't think your little tummy can digest that"
Merely ignoring you, he tried to open the bottle of wine he was struggling to hold with his chubby feet; but every time he pulled, the bottle would slip out of his not so tight grasp. He couldn't use his ability on it, since the bottle would sink into his little body. He couldn't even roll over on the bed, and his so called nanny was laughing instead of helping him.
Forget about all the things he'd been through. This was the true misery.
"Alright. Give me the bottle"
He didn't seem to agree, because he immediately hugged the bottle with all the strength he had, like it was his dearest thing. Your serious expression showed that you weren't going to give up either.
"You give me that bottle mister or you won't get extra milk tonight"
Reluctantly, he opened his arms and you snatched the bottle, putting it somewhere high. When you turned around, you saw him sulking.
"Don't be like that baby, you know you can't drink that right now. I thought you were a reasonable person hmm?"
The cute pout resting on his lips made you giggle and bend down to kiss his cheek. He was still pretty upset, so he looked away from you. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the little blush on his face.
You carefully held him up and looked at his tiny figure. His long hair was gone and instead, there were short ginger locks on his head. His bluebell eyes however, hadn't changed one bit, still as gorgeous as ever.
You smiled at him. "You want me to throw you up?"
He looked oblivious. He probably knew what you were talking about, but hadn't figured out whether you were serious or not.
Shaking your head to the side, you tightened your grip on his waist before throwing him up in the air, and catching him before he fell on the ground. He got so excited that he started laughing, letting out adorable baby noises.
"Aww, you like that huh? want me to do it again?"
He blinked.
"Ok! Three, two, one! Whoa!"
Chuuya had jumped higher than this before, but not once did he feel the thrill he was experiencing now. He was having the time of his life, flying in the air with no effort. Every time you threw him up, his mouth got opened wider, wider, and wider,
until vomit came out of it, landing on your chest.
There weren't any throwing and catching after that, since you were too busy looking at the vomit, shocked. But it wasn't him vomiting that caught you off guard, it was the vomit. It wasn't milk, it was wine.
"Ok, we need to talk about your drinking problem when you turn back to an adult"
—When you accidentally introduce your boyfriend as your husband
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Jouno X Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Format: Drabble
Warnings: Suggestive content in Dazai's
Word Count: 1.6K
A/n: This is very rushed so sorry if its not well written
↳Osamu Dazai
As the door of the fitting room opened, your boyfriend came into sight. The white tuxedo hugged his slim frame perfectly, making his tall figure stand out even more. The color had given him an elegant look, which nearly made you wonder if he was the playful guy you were dating.
Dazai smirked as he picked up on your stun and flashed you a cheeky smirk. "Like what you see, Bella? You're staring a little too hard you know~"
Suddenly the fitting room seemed like the perfect place to show him how much you actually liked his new look. It didn't matter if you made a mess out of the tux, since you were about to buy it anyway.
"Oh Osamu... You should wear white more often"
"Everything alright here?"
The salesclerk was checking up on you with a warm smile.
"Ah yes! We would like to buy this one. It looks gorgeous on my husband"
You didn't exactly pay attention to your words, but seeing Dazai's eyebrows jump in surprise made you question your statement, and...
Oh.
Anxiety washed over you as you weren't exactly unfamiliar with your partner's commitment issues, but much to your surprise, Dazai wasn't upset nor terrified; his huge ass grin was showing off his joy and flatter.
"I'm her husband!"
For god's sake.
The salesclerk on the other hand was looking at you oddly, probably questioning her life choices.
"Ah, ok. Well then would you mind taking the tuxedo off? I'll wrap it up for you"
A snicker left your boyfriend's lips as he pulled you close by your waist. "Sure, but I might need my wife's help to take my clothes off. Will you be kind enough to help me out, Anata?"
"Oh shut up already!"
↳Chuuya Nakahara
One of the benefits of working at the same organization was that when your boyfriend had a mission overseas, you could go with him.
You had just arrived to your hotel after a five hour flight, which made you tired as hell since you couldn't sleep on the airplane. Although that wasn't enough to lessen your excitement for going on what could be some kind of a trip after you finish the job.
"Have you made a reservation beforehand ma'am?"
"No, it was kind of rushed. Would that be a problem?"
The receptionist shook his head to the side. "Not at all. Lucky for you, we still have some rooms available"
The door of the hotel opened and Chuuya came in, approaching you with your luggage in his hand. You looked back at the receptionist. "Great! Then I'd like a room for two people. We're going to be here for a while since my husband needs to take care of some stuff from work; right, honey?"
Chuuya froze in the spot and a light shade of crimson appeared on his cheeks. This was definitely unexpected. It made him feel butterflies in his stomach in a good way and somehow questioned all the logic that made him avoid thinking about the future of your relationship.
"Well your husband doesn't seem to be sure" The receptionist commented in a humorous way. "Alright then, here's your key"
On the way to your room there was a silence that couldn't exactly be marked as "uncomfortable". Chuuya was wearing a warm smile yet so drowned in his thoughts that you refused to take him out of his zone. However, when you reached the door, he suddenly lifted you up, making you suddenly gasp and gaze at him with astonishment.
"What are you doing?"
"What a good husband is supposed to do"
The familiar beam was back on his face.
"I'm carrying my wife to our shared hotel room"
↳Ranpo Edogawa
"Ranpo! You can't eat this whole cake!"
Going to the bakery had become some sort of tradition since you and your boyfriend started dating. You went there every afternoon, tasted the new pastries, you lectured him to not get carried away and he stopped you by shoving a cookie in your mouth. That was pretty much repetitive, except that something extra was coming along today.
"I can and I will. That's why it's called sample y/n" He munched on his cheesecake, delighted by the sweet taste lingering in his mouth.
"Well Mr. detective, It's a sample so you should just take one bite and then move on! If you like it then just buy one!"
The baker chuckled and walked toward you. She knew you since you were regulars there, and she had enough respect for the president to not throw a tantrum over a few pieces of cake. "It's alright Miss y/n. Let the man eat his sweets"
"You don't understand ma'am! My husband eats way too much sweets and that's not healthy at all! What if he comes down with diabetes or something?!"
Ranpo stopped chewing for a brief second and looked at you from the corner of his eye. The lady on the other hand, was more excited than shocked. "You got married? Oh! Congratulations! It's nice to know that Mr. Ranpo has finally settled down!"
You didn't know if you should correct yourself or hide your red cheeks. "I— I meant that— " "Please have some more cake! They're on the house. Consider them a gift from me"
As she left you alone, you finally turned to your boyfriend to see his reaction, which was exactly the way you expected it to be; smug and playful. "Ah, I went into this marriage with so much hope"
"Oh grow up!"
↳Fyodor Dostoevsky
"How's your steak honey?" You asked, looking at your boyfriend with curiosity. He had been taking bites reluctantly, swallowing without actually tasting the meat.
"It's burnt to a crisp, even though I ordered it medium rare" He gently wiped his mouth with the napkin, placing the cutlery on the table. You gave the dish a once over and flagged the waiter down. After a while he approached your table. "Is there a problem, ma'am?"
"Yes. My husband ordered his steak medium rare and as you can see, this is not what he asked for"
My... Husband?
"Eh, so... He'd like his steak... Medium rare... Please?" Awkwardness was hitting you and you really didn't want to be alone with Fyodor right now, but unfortunately, you were on a date and there were no way to escape from it.
The waiter excused himself after apologizing and taking the plate back to the kitchen. He did find your sudden change of expression odd, but he didn't say anything since he wasn't asking for less tip. However, Fyodor was completely ready to bring it up. You could tell that based on his grin, but you were doing your best not to face him at that moment.
Not that it was enough to stop him.
"How's your pasta Mrs. Dostoevsky?" "Fedya! Stop!"
↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa
Getting sick on valentine's day was not originally your plan, but at least you got to visit the doctor together. You were now waiting for the secretary to call your names.
"How long should we wait?"
Covering your mouth with a tissue, you lightly coughed. "Anytime now. All the people ahead of us went inside"
Akutagawa glanced at the door of the doctor's office and nodded. He had made a reservation at your favorite restaurant today and was planning to take you to some place nice afterwards, get on one knee and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him, but you suddenly got sick. It's not like he could be mad at you. It was not your fault, but... It seemed like the perfect opportunity. The perfect day for a memorable gesture...
"Mrs. Akutagawa! You're up"
Akutagawa.
She was referring to you, with his last name.
You had introduced yourself as Akutagawa. He was sure you did it accidentally since your face was redder than a tomato now, but still, he never thought hearing it would feel so... special.
The raven-haired man held your hand and leaded you to the doctors office, a ghost of a smile spread on his face. He might've lost the chance to propose now, but it's not the end of the world. You're stuck with him and not going anywhere, so he would try to make the perfect plan for a perfect proposal, for the perfect girl.
↳Saigiku Jouno
"Are you sure this is the store?" Your boyfriend crossed his arms.
"For the thousandth time! Yes!" "Well, you were also sure that you knew my size but it turns out you were wrong" "Ugh! Let's just get inside!"
Thanks to his job, Jouno was always on endless missions and barely had time to rest, let alone go shopping. You this T-shirt when you were walking by and you just couldn't help but to imagine your boyfriend in it. It might've cheered him up if it was his size.
The clerk recognized you the second you set foot in the store. "Oh hi ma'am! Welcome back!"
"Hi Amaya. Thank you. So, remember how I was not sure if the T-shirt was my boyfriend's size?"
She only nodded with a forced smile, because how could she forgot? You spent fifteen minutes staring at the T-shirt, wondering if it would fit him.
"Well, it wasn't" Jouno's smile got wider and you sighed. "Yeah yeah, I admit it. I don't know what size is suitable for my husband. I'm the worst partner ever. Can we please change this one and leave?"
"I don't understand ma'am"
For real? You just can't take a break.
"I'm saying that the T-shirt was too big for him!" "Yeah I got that, but I thought he was your boyfriend?" "What do you mean you— oh!"
No.
No no no no no no no no.
Jouno's smirk was still on, and now with a little smugness. He was clearly enjoying himself.
"If this is your way of proposing, it's really lame" "Oh shut up you big jerk!"
