my grades are going to shit and it's so frustrating dealing with certain classmates and teachers. people at school annoy the hell out of me, and I don't even know why I care about what they do. Batgang told me that maybe I care too much and the disappointment pisses me off, but I feel like I don't give a shit about them at all. I'm getting shit right in Calc, but Hu wants work to the exact freakin detail, even when she leaves them out while explaining. I suddenly suck at english this year, like I'm honestly scared in that class. In ASB, when theyre checking up on how we're doing at our positions, I freak out cuhs I've done nothing; the fact that I've done nothing as treasurer because nothing has happened worries me, cuhs that'll get us into trouble eventually. Im understanding econ, but when it comes to the test, there's shit i've never seen before! And all the shit and anger that goes on from 7am to 2pm, I store it up and use it in practice. The past 3 weeks, it's the only thing that keeps my mind off things. I don't even feel like I'm trying anymore since the more I work in football, the worse my grades get. But even when I stop working as hard, I get pulled up, and yet my grades still suffer. Worst part is, I only see it get lower and lower. To a number of people, my grades are "decent". My dad probably wouldn't care anymore. But to myself it's failure. I secretly look up to Julio, even though I don't know much about him. He's a smart person, on and off the football field, and I wonder how he does well in school and on varsity- IF he's doing well in school. I dream to just not give a shit about school and just play football, but I know that doing both won't get me anywhere in life. But based on how I'm doing now, I'm prolly not gonna go anywhere good either. fml, how do people handle?
