I’m genuinely curious how many people submitted SmokedBurningCheese, bc I actually submitted it bc I didn’t see it on the first tallying post and Fix A Beast made me adore them haha
(Idk if this is propaganda bc I’m talking about them? Asdfghjkl)
*opens my spreadsheet and blows away the dust*
there were eight total for BOTH ships, which is why we had the special round between the two. i could've included both, but the herd must be thinned !!
"the herd must be thinned," i say as i finish my set up for Prelims Part Two and begin on the beast/beast/ancient/ancient bracket. yes they are an entirely separate category, mostly because i didn't want them to sweep the rest of the prelims. side-eyes shadowsalt. shadowsugar. shadowflour. there is a common theme here.
Sage of Time (Ephemeral Flow TK x Sage of Truth Smilk)
AffoCacao (Affogato x Dark Cacao)
Voting ended onJun 5, 2025
--PROPAGANDA--
Sage of Time:
- Different flavor of timemilk we are Winning
- Chaotic SoT who gives people enlightenment with jaded TK who doesn't really want to deal with anything anymore
- It has similar vibes to TruthlessSage but this one tickles me more because they're both gremlin energy
- 'She'll lead him to the knowledge he seeks, but not with the helping hand he initially envisioned...' [from this post]
AffoCacao:
- Cacao's evil advisor whispering in his ear
- Affogato just has general vibes of wanting that cookie so bad. Nothing gayer than trying to usurp a ruler amirite
- Pretty princess Affo with stoic prick Cacao
- Evil stepfather mhm mhm
my good pal manyminded sent this blog to me so i must submit my favourite polyship for review: Whatever this is (mysticsugar is there too i just made this before the es update) (cacao is sitting to the side, romance repulsed style)
i can define the colors of the lines but honestly its more fun without context
OMORI PFP !!! Anyways
This is so intriguing to me just on principle of timekeeper being here. I want to say grey is either dislike or intrigue and I'm not sure which is funnier. Red is love/crush probably, black is The Nightmare Polycule, green is friends-
Wait are these just the ovenbreak colors. Hang on.
THIS IS POSSIBLY FUNNIER IF IT'S THE OVENBREAK RELATIONSHIPS COLORS. WE BALL (Yellow is admiration, I don't think purple or black exist on the chart so uhhh. Idk about those)
Oh wait I think the purple are soulmates/soulsharing fuckery. Ok
Also if it IS the ovenbreak colors. The Ancients not trusting each other is possibly the best part about this. They're fucked up <3
Starting top right and moving to bottom left!!
Eternal Sugar and Pitaya bonding over their shared love for Hollyberry. My OT3 forever. Sugarberry other half, no surprise there, happy that Pitaya is included on the chart and everything. Such an interesting guy, my Pitaya <3
Admiration and tension between GC and Sugar is kinda par for the course? Like think about it. Stasis hell for all your subjects. Wings. Desperately holding on to the people you care about and not letting them leave you (dying in GC's case, getting out of the paradise in ES's case). I should do a character analysis of GC sometime. Maybe.
Rivalry between The Girlies. I think it's friendly rivalry, like they looooove competing in things. It's enrichment. Let them blow up a house and then rebuild it. They all take turns making dinner and burn down a kitchen at least thrice a week.
Holly holding admiration for WL guys. Guys. Admiring her for not running away and facing her problems head on. Lily admiring Holly for not giving up and continuing to be loud and laughing despite The Horrors. "I wish I could be like you"-type beat from both of them. They think that the other handle their problems so so well. I'm insane. No one listen to me.
Silent Salt and White Lily. The sheer. AUUUGH I have over them. They aren't even out. This is so far into AU territory but I'm so far gone. The knight and their lady. They need to make charm bracelets for each other this is very important to me
LILY AND VANILLA. GUYS EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEED TO YAP ABOUT PURELILY. No it's not "childhood friends to lovers" no it's not "I'll always come back for you" no it's not "Thank you for being there when no one else was" IT'S NOT !! Pure Vanilla falling in love with the idea of Lily, finding out that she never really was who he thought she was. I think that that's why the fandom mischaracterizes her so often!!!! Because quite a bit of our information about WL up until the silver kingdom update was THROUGH PV. And PV does not understand her to the extent he thinks or says he does!! She shares the dream of peace for Earthbread! Of happiness for all cookies!! Pure Vanilla saw this beautiful, smart, amazing cookie in the library and holds her up in a pedestal in his mind because that is Who Lily Is to him. When Dark Enchantress rises, that pedestal shatters. Because the person in front of him is not his friend, is not the White Lily in his mind -- the Lily in his mind would not stoop so low as to rip Earthbread apart (but he can't understand, doesn't understand, how this has always been a part of her; just one that has never been brought to the surface in such a potent way before) and he CANNOT reconcile the two in his mind.
When Lily wakes up in the Silver Kingdom update. Can you IMAGINE how PV feels. Overjoyed. This cookie that he admires, this perfect cookie who he's known all his life, is still alive. Never mind that he doesn't know her favorite color, favorite food. Never mind that Lily seems more withdrawn. You would think that he goes to comfort her, but GINGERBRAVE STEPS IN. It's GingerBrave and co. that invite her to join in the festivities. PV only comes up once GingerBrave has started to make her feel better. Can you IMAGINE how Lily feels, disoriented and seeing her friend after 50-odd years. Conflicted. She knows what Dark Enchantress has been up to, to some extent. She doesn't fully disagree with the reasonings -- just with the methods done to achieve DE's goals. She was always a part of Lily. WHEN SHE SAYS "OUR PATHS DO NOT ALIGN" GUYS. THE VISCERAL REACTION (/pos) THAT WENT THROUGH ME. White Lily sees what PV refuses to; if PV cannot pull himself out of his head and see her, REALLY see her, than their relationship cannot continue. That's all there is to it. She isn't perfect, and he needs to learn that.
ANYWAYS. Yikes I yapped. Silent Salt and PV holding admiration I want to say is Salt having respect for him. This guy has managed the stress on his shoulders so well. Predictions for Salt's arc incoming btw !! I feel like they, as the Virtue of Solidarity, had so much pressure to keep people together, to be there as a rock of support for people to bring their worries to. Always the comforter, never the comforted. That's why I think SilentLily works so well. Mutual agreement of worth. White "Just your presence is enough for me" Lily Cookie and Silent "You are always going to be enough for me" Salt Cookie. They cannot believe that they are worth anything if they aren't helping someone, so they believe it for each other. But THAT'S why I think Salt corrupted -- the stress of all that and never being able to tell anyone was too much for them. (Again with the too much. Bashes fist on the ground.)
Rivalry between Salt and Smilk because they have some sort of something going on. I feel like they're the embodiment of "I suffer so much every day and for what. girlish whimsy" "girl you have something more sinister going on" <- that. that is them in a nutshell. Am i making ANY SENSE or have I lost the plot. The knight and their jester. They keep koi fish in a pond to stare at for hours while talking about everything and nothing. Smilk was the closest Salt got to feeling like someone cared about them before they corrupted but then, well. Smilk stopped coming to their weekly chats. The silence was so, so loud. And then the tree happened, and now they're trying to figure out where they stand with each other now.
Tension between Timekeeper and Salt is the funniest outcome. Timekeeper on this chart in general is HYSTERICAL. She's such a bitch I love her.
OKAY NIGHTMARE POLYCULE (BLACK LINES) TIME.
TIMEMILK. MY GUILTY PLEASURE RAREPAIR. They hate each other sooooooo much guys. The worst fucking dynamic on the planet -- two annoying bitches who never shut up <3 They THRIVE on violence and shenanigans. Anyone within a 5-mile radius WILL feel a deep sense of dread until they've been formally pranked by the two. They both go to the bar and wail about how much they hate GingerBrave and co. because "FUCK THAT STUPID CRUMBLY BALD-LOOKING BLUE EYES WEIRDASS FUCKER". And then they take a shot, grimace, and call for another. The alcohol doesn't taste good, and it takes unholy levels of it for either of them to get drunk, but it's more for the experience of yelling about all the people you can't stand than anything.
SDVN I already yapped about so I'll spare you all. This time.
The DE/WL/PV triangle is such a hot mess. SUUUUUCH a hot mess. The HOTTEST mess.
Pure Vanilla and Dark Enchantress is such an interesting concept based on the above rant about PureLily. Here, there ARE no pretenses. He sees her for what she is; someone who found out a horrible truth, couldn't stand it, and dealt with it in the only way she knew how. She's done awful things, and really, he shouldn't even be trying to forgive or redeem her, and yet. Here he is, doing the same thing he did with smilk.
And on DE's side, she sees someone who is only now just starting to understand her, and it frustrates her to no end. Who is he to have the right to get to know her? How dare he try to claim that her vessel is someone so weak? He had his chance, and he fumbled it. But Lily asked her to try, so try she will.
LilyEnchant. Do I have the capacity to keep this small, because I fear if I get started, this will just turn into "Loaf yaps about WL and DE and character foils" instead of "polls about cookie ships!!" (like this isn't already happening. denial is wonderful, everyone.) I'll keep it small because this post is already big as-is. They, more than anyone else, more than any Beast or Ancient, understand each other on a fundamental level that is nigh impossible to achieve. This is what Smilk wanted, with PV. With TR. That's why the admiration for DE is there. Lily is so incredibly sorry for all that DE has gone through. DE sees it as pity for the longest time, and Lily always says that it's never been pity, and never will be. She knows herself, and she knows that she could never pity DE. Eventually, DE recognizes the empathy, the compassion, the love and self-loathing in equal measure. They both blame themselves for various things, and they both empathize with the other. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," they whisper to themselves when they think the other doesn't notice. "I'll be better. For you," they promise. They ignore the thoughts of killing the other, of taking back the life they once shared, of becoming just one being; either Lily, or Enchantress. There's room enough for both of them, and that space grows more and more with every day, every improvement.
It's self-love on the most literal level, and they are happy to continue along this path.
AlmondLatte:
- They adopt Creampuff and go live in Parfaedia. Source: trust me bro
- Aren't they like. canonically married or something??
- Bicker like an old married couple
PomEnchant:
- The sheer devotion Pomegranate has towards Dark Enchantress. She doesn't even care about the cause she just loves DE.
- PINING. SOOOOO MUCH ONE-SIDED PINING.
