#ask metatron

[ask-the-metatron]

What should I do when someone has wronged me relationship wise?

Cease your earthly concerns and put your efforts elsewhere! If this human companion of yours is proven troublesome, perhaps you should turn to serve The Almighty, a noble pursuit of your time.

[ask-the-metatron]

Why did you take away sweet little baby aziraphale fron crowley? I mean it's like you're asking to die a fucking horrible death! 🥰

I have no desire to die a horrible death. Aziraphale came of his own accord, and I am simply ensuring that he fulfills his destiny to restore the correct order of the universe. 🙂

[ask-the-metatron]

I bet one spicy chip will turn you into dust you old ass bitch🥰

Quite the contrary, youngling. I've ingested chips in my time, and I've yet to revert to the original state of mankind.

[ask-the-metatron]

why are you homophobic?

All I fear is God.

[ask-the-metatron]

I've been hearing of these earthly things called "pronouns." They seem highly unprofessional in a workplace, don't they?

[ask-the-metatron]

what the fuck

I'm not sure which fuck you would be referring to.

[scribe-proxy-and-deadpan-snarker]

((referring to who was/is running that blog? And did you lay your snark/awesome eggs in my brain or something?!... And where are all those Met/Beelz fics!?!!! the links are dead!))

[rarebooksandbibles-blog]

[[Oh man oh man headcanon based on what you just reblogged. My theory behind library/book collections being personified is that if they're well-loved and often-read/visited, that's how they come to be able to take a human form. Because the books themselves have enough life on their own, but the love and use of humans is what really brings them to life. So really famous libraries/collections would be personified for sure.]]

((That is basically my headcanon as well.  Though perhaps replace "able" with something that implies more randomness.  I don't think Athena chose to be human, it is just something that happened.  I kinda dream that if Bentley and her get together, the Anhk-Morpork Library will wander in to her life in human form and cause drama between them.  Because damn, that would be a sexy human library.))