The Metatron

You're at liberty to ask me any question. I quite enjoy them!

[ask-the-metatron]

Why did you take away sweet little baby aziraphale fron crowley? I mean it's like you're asking to die a fucking horrible death! 🥰

I have no desire to die a horrible death. Aziraphale came of his own accord, and I am simply ensuring that he fulfills his destiny to restore the correct order of the universe. 🙂

[crowleyholmes]

aziraphale

[my-dessert]

crowley

[ask-the-metatron]

Metatron

[ask-the-metatron]

I bet one spicy chip will turn you into dust you old ass bitch🥰

Quite the contrary, youngling. I've ingested chips in my time, and I've yet to revert to the original state of mankind.

[ask-the-metatron]

What should I do when someone has wronged me relationship wise?

Cease your earthly concerns and put your efforts elsewhere! If this human companion of yours is proven troublesome, perhaps you should turn to serve The Almighty, a noble pursuit of your time.

[tampire]

Gladly, my lord. I have already severed ties with most mortals here on earth and am ready to ascend to whatever that awaits me.

[ask-the-metatron]

Most indubitably!

[ask-the-metatron]

What should I do when someone has wronged me relationship wise?

Cease your earthly concerns and put your efforts elsewhere! If this human companion of yours is proven troublesome, perhaps you should turn to serve The Almighty, a noble pursuit of your time.

[tonydaddingham]

NOW IS NOT THE TIME BITCH

[ask-the-metatron]

For Heaven's sake, and I mean that most literally, when is it the time?

[tonydaddingham]

THERE'S TWO OF YOU? @the-metatron @ask-the-metatron

[the-metatron]

It appears so. Well, the more the merrier. I look forward to his assistance in carrying out the Great Plan.

[ask-the-metatron]

The same to you, Metatron.

[tonydaddingham]

NOW IS NOT THE TIME BITCH

[ask-the-metatron]

For Heaven's sake, and I mean that most literally, when is it the time?

[ask-the-metatron]

[ask-the-metatron]

Humans are strange, aren't they? I've never seen an invention so bemusing as the electric chair. How wonderful!

[ask-the-metatron]

why are you homophobic?

All I fear is God.

[willgrahamscock]

[biblicalhorrorstory]

batting 2 for 2

[ask-the-metatron]

Hah! Amusing coincidence.

[ask-the-metatron]

I've been hearing of these earthly things called "pronouns." They seem highly unprofessional in a workplace, don't they?

[ask-the-metatron]

Isn't the earth beautiful!

[ask-the-metatron]

Nothing lasts forever 🙂

[ask-the-metatron]

#Working 🙌

[ask-the-metatron]

Isn't the earth beautiful!

[moonyinpisces-deactivated202502]

what if aziraphale gets to heaven and the metatron is like uh yeah the supreme archangel position always meant picking up my dry cleaning and also getting me a coffee anytime i want one

[ask-the-metatron]

Someone's got to do the hard work!