this was submitted as a one sentence horror story, but it feels like it could be an old jewish joke, like the one about the two rabbis proving g-d doesn't exist or the saying 'people plan, g-d laughs'
Even more, it sounds like the beginning -- the set-up -- of the joke. Can’t you hear Carl Reiner opening a bit with this line, or Shalom Aleichem using it to kick off a story?
Well I'm not quite an old Jewish man just yet, but let me give it a shot...
Losing confidence in Himself, G-d became an atheist. He decided to go down to Earth, to walk among humans and see how they found meaning.
He wandered the world until he came to a town, where he happened upon a pastor. "Come to our church this Sunday!" said the pastor. But G-d shook his head. "I don't believe in G-d anymore," he told the pastor sullenly. "And besides, I really shouldn't be working weekends." . . .
He continued wandering, and as night fell, he realized he had no money for a hotel. Walking down the darkening sidewalk, he passed many shivering folk, some young and thin, others old and worn and grizzle-bearded, looking not unlike himself. Just as the rain began to fall, he happened upon a priest. The priest looked him up and down, and said, "You look cold, my son. We're hosting a men's shelter at the church tonight; you can sleep there, and come to Mass tomorrow." This time G-d agreed. He slept well and was warm, and in the morning sat for Mass. They blessed him in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, but he felt beside himself and decided to leave.
By this time G-d was quite hungry. He stopped by a deli, but still had no money, so all he could do was watch the fresh steaming bagels be made. On a bench outside the deli, a man was eating a bagel with lox. As he finished eating, G-d noticed there were still some scraps of food on the waxpaper. Unable to help himself, he asked if he could have the scraps, before the man threw it away. "Please sir, I'm so hungry. I'd just like that crumb of bagel there, and that little shred of lox. I think I could make a bisl of fish last quite a while." The man shook his head. "I cannot in good conscience give you my trash," he said, "But come inside, I'll get you your own bagel. I'd offer to get you coffee—but that's trash too."
So the man bought G-d some breakfast and sat with him on the bench. "Thank you so much," said G-d. "How can I ever repay you?" But the man just shrugged and said, "I'm a rabbi. Buying bagels I don't get to eat is part of the job description."
G-d thanked the rabbi again, and ate in silence. "Rabbi, can I ask you a question? I feel I haven't been on this Earth too long, but already I've seen much misery. How do you do it? How do you still believe in G-d?"
The rabbi pondered this. "I believe in joyful things. I believe in kindness, and people choosing to help each other. And isn't that a kind of godliness?" (G-d suspected there was a bit more to godliness than that, but he let it slide.) The rabbi continued: "I've prayed to G-d every day for the last 30 years, and I will every day til I die. And if He answers my prayers, all the better! But tell me, my new friend, what's your name?" G-d hesitated and said, "It's a little hard to pronounce..." The rabbi chuckled and said, "No matter. Say, it won't be anything like Shabbos dinner, but my wife is baking a delightful fig pie today, and I'd like to have you over for dinner to enjoy it." G-d nodded. "I do like figs..."
That evening, G-d sat for dinner with the rabbi, the rabbi's wife, and their four children. The meal was delicious, the rabbi's family was incredibly welcoming. Their conversation was friendly but never prying, and the children laughed and played with each other. Several times, the youngest child tugged on G-d's sleeve for his attention before her father motioned for her to go play with her siblings. G-d began to see what the rabbi had meant about the joyfulness of life.
At the end of the night, G-d stood up to leave, and felt renewed. The rabbi said, "My friend, don't leave us so soon!" And G-d replied, "I will always be with you, for I am the Lord Your G-d." And they understood it to be true.
He had done this sort of thing a few times before and generally knew how it went. As expected, the rabbi and his family fell to their knees, weeping with joy and awe. He did not expect the youngest child to walk right up and tug G-d's sleeve again. He smiled graciously down at her, and she looked up with the wonderful bright eyes of a child who understands nothing but the urge to play. In a high voice, she said, "Knock knock!" G-d couldn't help but laugh. "Who's there?" He replied cheerfully.
Suddenly from across the room, the rabbi swore loudly and rudely. Dismayed, G-d asked, "What troubles you?" He saw the rabbi was trembling, half in rage and half in embarrassment. "I'm sorry Lord! Thank you for this, thank you so much for gracing us with your light, Baruch Atah and so on, it's just..." The rabbi swore again. "Thirty years of daily prayer, Lord, and a KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE is what you'll answer?"
hey captain-acab, this is the highest compliment i can bestow: it would not have surprised me had i found that story in a book of traditional fables in the shul library
and i can't get over how the artist/graphic designer clearly went in knowing they were replicating classic holy white bird imagery and did a decent job with the editing too, except they either don't know what a dove is, don't know that the bird being specifically a dove matters, or just got real lazy and chose the first all white bird that came up in search results because that is fully a seagull in that image
Found a CD binder with several hundred disks. Each CD has an hour of recorded audio; the audio is about two dozen tracks of the sound wind makes when it passes through trees. The disks are organized alphabetically by species; many of these species are extinct, extinct before the rise of audio recording and indeed before the rise of humankind. There is no indication as to provenance. One of the disks has a big scratch down the middle and the label is struck through; however I surmise from context that it is some subspecies of apple.
my mother asked me who my favorite Biblical character was and I responded with Enoch. Enoch is fascinating because he’s popular off of one verse. In Islam, he’s revered as a prophet and gets his own lore too. He’s an incredibly popular character, or at least popular and interesting enough, that He got 4 spinoff texts, people were that interest in him.
People just love him, a character that is only referred to in name and never speaks unless it’s in a Hadith, Dead Sea scroll, or a book of Enoch or giant.
To be clear, in the 3rd book of Enoch , that is where the title of ‘the young’ comes from, coincidently in chapter 3, because the other angels call him that as Metatron.
his outfit is definitely not historically accurate. :/
Aka enoch’s first reaction to him being turned into an angel with an outfit change and now he has wings and eyes all over his body where there probably shouldn’t be wings and eyes.
[image ID: the meme with two books. The book on the left is very thick, and is labeled “shit i literally made up about them”. The book on the right is very thin and labeled “the character”. End ID]
In a surprise move of "huh?" and "now?" and "really?" and "why?", Cup Noodle just put out a new commercial based on El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron... the obscure PS3/360 game from nearly 15 years ago.
(A history below...)
At E3 2010, a peculiar game trailer dropped, free from either Sony or Microsoft's big stage shows. It featured vague narration from a snazzily-dressed deep-voiced man, and gladiator combat from a seemingly airheaded prettyboy protagonist. It was barely comprehensible, but I suppose that was also its appeal...
For reasons beyond my comprehension, this trailer absolutely took off in Japan's internet culture, becoming a huge meme on Nicovideo, spawning numerous parody and remix videos.
This one was an old fave of mine, mashing up the trailer with a famous Puyo Puyo song. Also it loops endlessly, so you never have to stop watching.
There was even a goofy no-budget live-action remake of the trailer that's hit 1.5 million views...
El Shaddai eventually launched the following year in 2011. However, despite its early meme status, the game flew criminally under the radar. While it wasn't exactly a flop, and reviewed reasonably well, it just didn't quite leave the impact it probably should've.
Which is a shame, because it was one of the few genuinely ~artfully crafted~ big-shelf games for the big-boy consoles of the era. It donned a painterly style, using pseudo-cel-shading with pastel colors and a watercolor look. The story is esoteric, the environments are abstract. And it even dared to be a bit flamboyant! Wow.
It was essentially the polar opposite of where gaming culture was at the time. And as someone who was completely disillusioned with the direction games were going in that generation, it was one of the few games I really wished I could play. But unfortunately I couldn't...
...UNTIL...!!!
In 2021, a strange miracle happened. A surprise remaster of the game launched on Steam. It too seems to have flown under the radar. But it's still there, still buyable, still playable. And the port seems to be good.
El Shaddai, originally released in 2011, is a unique third-person action adventure filled with a deeply artistic world-building, outstanding
A Switch version also exists if you're so inclined.
So do y'wanna talk about "hidden gems"?? Here's your PS3/360 hidden gem!! And it's available right now, on modern platforms, running well, with no strings attached!
Did I mention it was directed by a character designer who worked on Okami and Devil May Cry? Does that pique your interest yet??
Let's right the wrongs of the past!! It's finally El Shaddai's time to shine!! MONDAI NAI!!!
Religious art leaves out the best part and it’s such a goddamn shame.
Livestock, Agriculture and Food is an integral part of any culture and we all need to be pushing for more realistic sheep in religious art. #FATTAILSFORJESUS
“How think ye? If a man have a hundred sheep and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains and listen for the clappeth of it’s itinerant cheeks?” - Matthew 18:12, the bible
I made this post a long time ago and never posted the follow up post, so here it is. Additional info on Fat tail sheep
Fat tailed sheep is not a single specific breed of sheep. It’s a catchall word like “Health care worker”.
There’s tons and tons of different breeds.
They all store fat in their tails, but fall into two main categories: WIDE tails and LONG tails
Wide tails store fat in the rump area and have no visible tails.
Long tails store fat in the tail itself, which vary in length in different breeds.
In the olden days, people took pride in breeding sheep with the longest tail. They are not so popular today as it’s hard to find a decent tail cart on Amazon.
Speaking of Tail carts, they come in different styles and designs. We dont have any that are actually preserved, but old drawing of them show different wheels harnesses.
Some of them are literally just skateboards
Back in the day, breeding sheep with long dragging tails was all the rage.
Nowadays different tails types have been developed to prevent them from dragging their tails on the ground.
Such as the “folded tail” or the “Only fat at the base” Tail
Despite fat tail sheep being the most common sheep breeds in the world, most people in the west have never heard of them.
The West likes Wool Sheep. Fat tails are strictly meat sheep and have little useful wool. They also do poorly in colder climates
There’s a huge community of shepherds on youtube that script, choreograph and shoot elaborate videos for their sheep complete uplifting music to highlight their best qualities (for sale and stud) It is fantastic. Such as this one:
People kept bringing up Fat Bottomed Girls. Ya’ll are wrong. These are fat bottomed BOYS. Sheep are often continuously bred, so the females are constantly getting pregnant, giving birth and nursing.
That’s very hard on the body, so they can’t build up as much fat as the boys.
The fattest sheep, the ones with the truly VAST tails, rocking them little carts are ALWAYS males.
This is why the Bible specifically states that ONLY the rumps of the Males are to fit to be offered to the lord……
Picture: God desiring the tail
“And he shall offer of the sacrifice of the peace offering an offering made by fire unto the LORD; the fat thereof, and the WHOLE rump” -Leviticus 3:9
I mean… look.
Arguably these are just minor details and doesnt matter….
But beyond it’s teachings the bible is also a work of literature about life in the ancient world. And on some level these kinds of small details bring a sort of richness to these depictions of real…
Ancient people bred out sheep with huge butts, took the largest sheep butts, set them on fire and prayed over the burning butt. It checks out.
How can hilarious big butt sheep have existed for millenia and escaped being well known in popular culture everywhere. They’ve gotten off scot free for too long. Meme these fools at once.
