#ask the polyquad

[askpolyquad]

So uh... I’m still alive. Just very very very busy. But I miss this ask blog, so I might dig through and answer some old neglected asks. Feel free to send in new ones. I’ll try to post at least one thing a month here.

[askpolyquad]

Q:"What's everyone's favorite food, movie,and animal?"

A:"Lasagna, Love Actually, and Tiny Goats."

C:"Spaghetti, City of Lost Children, and Sight Hounds."

R:"Mashed Potatoes, Hocus Pocus, and Tropical Fish."

T:"Ribs, Wasabi, and big Dogs."

[askpolyquad]

Q: "I have a friend that I have feelings for, and my boyfriend and I have spoken many times about things and have decided that poly is a thing we could do(as it's always been what I felt was right for myself) how should I approach my friend or other potential lovers about being a part of a poly relationship?"

A:"Basically the same as approaching anyone you're interested in, just with a lot of extra explaining! Especially if they've never heard of polyamory before, be prepared to lay it out for them. In the case of a friend you can even invite them to talk to your other partner(s) so they can be reassured that it's totally consensual. Good luck!"

[askpolyquad]

This Is Monogamous Privilege

Examples of monogamous privilege. If you want your privilege submitted anonymously, please indicate...

Hey folks! I thought it might be nice to have SOMETHING up on the weekends, so I'm going to try out "Signal Boost Sundays". First one up is a request to promote This Is Monogamous Privilege. They've just started up, but if anyone can give them some material to get going, its the lovely followers here <3

[askpolyquad]

(Still out of asks, have more cute splash art)

[askpolyquad]

Q: "So is this Chris basically with 3 cis female-bodied people? Are there any other "male" involvements? Depending on how you answer this question I could think you're either the most liberated and progressive people ever or this is yet another form of traditional patriarchal, oppressive polygyny just disguised in liberal tappings."

C: "Wow. First, Tenna has a few male playmates. Second, our configuration is not really your business."

A: "Whats with the "male" in quotes? We're not telling you about our junk. Yes 3/4 of us are cis, Robin's Agender. 

Also fuck you, asshole."

T: "Haha! I told you you should stop wearing my pants!"

R: "Pfffhaha, but they look so good on me!"

[askpolyquad]

Q:"I have fallen in love with a man that is not my husband. I wasn't trying to, it just happened. I want to bring up the idea of polyamory to my husband. What is the best way to go about doing this?"

A:"  Crushes can happen to anyone, regardless of relationship status. Opening up an existing marriage is a HUGE step. Go slow. 

  Start by bringing it up casually. There are a lot of good articles now about non-monogamy. Try linking him to one, saying you thought it was interesting. Pay attention to his reaction to it, talk to him about the article. 

  DO NOT initiate this with a goal of "start dating crush". Move at the pace of the slowest person, which will be your husband. Think hard about your motivations and needs, and your husband's. Communication is key.

[askpolyquad]