He looked around at the many different couples who were dancing on the dance floor to the slow music that had just come on. He recognized many familiar faces who were dancing with their arms around each other, gazing in each other’s eyes. It would have been romantic to him perhaps if he had his own date. Well, he did have one, but he would never dance a romantic dance with her. It was neither his or Harley’s type to dance anyways, so he didn’t mind. Still, even with that, he couldn’t help but want to experience it. To know what’s it’s like to have a real dance, those dances he saw in movies. He shrugged that thought off though; the less dancing he did, the better. Less chances to humiliate himself more than he already did. He gazed around the room and immediately spotted Iris dancing with Drew. Part of him couldn’t help but smile; he was glad to see that his advice had actually helped Drew and that he had the chance to share a dance with Iris. Plus, they both looked so happy... the other part of him... well, the other part of him was questioning. Questioning what would have happened if he had gone with her instead. After all, that’s pretty much what everyone was probably wondering, by now. Would things have gone that badly? Probably not. Would he have had a better experience? Maybe. He couldn’t know for sure. He hated himself for thinking about that; they both had different dates, he shouldn’t think of his friend’s date like that. In his defence, both Drew and Iris were pretty upset earlier and couldn’t help but think about that; after what had happened, he was sure Drew was heartbroken. Should he apologize to him? No, if he did that, the boy would think he provoked it. In a way, he did, but Drew didn’t need to know that. And then there was Iris... she was probably the most upset in this situation, being stuck in an embarrassing and unfortunate situation. He clearly saw that when she came in screaming at him earlier. How he wanted to be able to make her avoid all the pain she went through... Even though he was hurt by her earlier allegations, he couldn’t blame her for being mad at him; she couldn’t know that he was the indirect responsible and Hannah was his friend, so he supposed it was logical to think he was involved in this. Of course, he couldn’t know for sure if his suspicions of Holly spelling Hannah were true or not, but he was almost convinced he was right. It would only make sense; he messed up her dress and she’d hurt him with whatever the heck that thing was. It was messed up, but what did he expect from a girl that slapped him for an accident. Sighing deeply, he put his hand on his cheek and leaned onto it. He was still staring in direction of the pair with a slight smile, not even realizing he was staring at Iris more specifically. It didn’t matter if there were many people in the room, to him, she was basically glowing in the mass. All of a sudden, the most unexpected thing happened; Iris leaned closer to Drew, kissing him. It immediately snapped Eddie out of his gaze and he stared intensely, incredulous. Drew seemed just as surprised as he was because he pulled away in confusion. The blond boy couldn’t help but stare; for some unknown reason, he felt like his heart was going to pop out of his chest. Like a punch in the heart. Was he really upset? He shouldn’t be upset over this, he should be happy; his friend Drew was getting what he wanted all along: Iris’ love. That’s what it seemed, at least, because if she kissed him, obviously she liked him right? And they would date; wasn’t that good? Why didn’t he feel intense joy then? Iris had literally been there, waiting for him since almost day 1, and he had pushed her to Drew; technically, this is what he wanted too, right? Right? Even he wasn’t convincing himself with those facts. He was upset, yes, he was upset at his friends’ happiness, and yet, he couldn’t figure out why. He had said it a million times, he didn’t like Iris. They were friends, and nothing more. This shouldn’t even affect him like it was right now, it shouldn’t even affect him at all, except maybe bring him joy. He felt his heart ache; he had to leave, take some fresh air. For the second time of the evening, he went outside, this time to avoid the view that saddened him, and the romantic music that made him want to puke. He took a deep breath as he stood by the door, facing the garden in front of him. Why was he feeling so uncomfortable all of a sudden? This wasn’t normal. But then again, neither was he. He walked deeper in the garden, forgetting all the problems that he had to face at the dance earlier. He had tried so hard to fit in tonight, to feel like he had no problems. For once, he wanted to be... normal. He tried so hard, actually he’s always trying, and he always fails. Why couldn’t he just have a normal life for once? He was so frustrated. Frustrated with life, frustrated with himself. He couldn’t let his friends be happy for once? Why did he have to be envious? Let people live- yeah, it seemed like he wasn’t able to do that. He angrily took his jacket off and threw it on the ground. He didn’t even care at this point if it got dirty, he never liked that stupid jacket anyways. He had only put it on to fit in with the crowd, but that failed, once again. He watched almost with joy as his coat fell in a puddle of water and started to get darker as the water infiltrated it. He could pick it up but he wouldn’t; that tuxedo gave him bad luck anyways. He hated that tux; it made him hitch, it was tight and most of all, it made him uncomfortable. He even unbuttoned his shirt a bit, not even caring if he didn’t look proper. Actually, he wouldn’t even care about anything from now on; no matter how hard he tried, he always ended up broken anyways. Who cared if he looked okay or not? It’s not like he was anyways. He should stop being upset all the time, but all of this evening, the slap, the kiss... everything was just too much. He clenched his fists; he should stop being angry at everything. Nothing was his fault, not everything revolved around him. The reason Holly slapped him? He probably deserved it. The reason Iris kissed Drew? She liked him. And there was nothing he could do, the world would continue to turn. He heard himself sniffle; no matter how much things hurt him, he shouldn’t let them get to him. Yet, why couldn’t he let them just not affect him? Perhaps he was scared that Holly’s slap would open old wounds. Perhaps he was afraid that every mistake he would make would end up in a disaster like this. Perhaps he was afraid that if Iris and Drew became a thing, he’d lose Iris, that she’d prioritize her new boyfriend over him- not that she’d blame him, but who was to say people wouldn’t forget him definitely? He was tired of feeling like the weight of the world was on him. He was tired of blaming himself for everything bad things, yet he couldn’t stop himself. Bad habits just died hard, as they said. He was about to walk back inside to go back to his dorm when he stepped on something. It was a piece a paper, an invitation to the dance that had been left there by accident, probably. Eddie took it in his hands, staring at it a bit. “Come on in for a night you will never forget” the letter read. Feeling a rush of anger take over him, he couldn’t control himself anymore; he burns the paper completely and watches as the ashes fall to the ground. He was usually careful with his powers in public but he didn’t care anymore... it’s not like secrets were even a thing in Auradon anyways. He takes a deep breath.
