#askrelationship

[anonyask]

I need some advice. This will honestly sound really pathetic but how can I stop missing someone? I had this person in my life that I really cared about. We were really close. We became very attached to each other but we got into a fight and hurt each other's feelings. I apologized to them but they ignored me. It honestly has been hurting me so bad because its been about seven months now and I have cried about them once a week each month. I can't stop thinking about them & I don't know what to do

dear anon,

i am so sorry to hear that. i guess the only thing you can do about this is to start living again. there is now recipe to stop missing someone. some people you will even miss your whole life through. but that doesn’t mean you can’t get to meet new people and fall in love again. it can be helpful to write down your feelings and after that, put them away symbolically, put them in a box or burn them. or maybe you are more the type to paint a picture or do some music, that’s ok too. and then live your life, go out with your friends, meet new people, read books, watch movies, take care of yourself. just try to go on, so that this feelings can move into the background. give yourself the time you need, but don’t close for life. and as i said in the beginning, some people will always have a place in your heart, even when they are gone for a long time. 

– all the best, daniela 

[anonyask]

I hooked up with a guy when I was on vacation and unexpectedly got attached. After he left to go back home (to the States [I'm from Canada])) he would continue to text me and said he missed me and wanted to hear all about the rest of my trip. He didn't respond for a while, but when he did he said his father passed away and that's why he's been distant. Now I'm back home and he hasn't texted me in 2 weeks. I want to be there for him but can't help feeling unwanted. Please help :(

Honestly, I would try to text him one more time and if he doesn’t reply, or seems uninterested, then I would leave him alone.  It’s possible that he’s acting this way because of his father, which is totally reasonable. But at the same time, I believe that if you are interested in someone, you go out of your way to speak to them. Even if it’s just a quick “hey i’m not feeling so great, but I still care” kind of text.  

That being said, I feel you still owe him the benefit of the doubt. If he does start texting you again, don’t act mad or upset.  But also don’t sit around waiting for him to text. Go live your life and see what happens.

xo- Juliana  

[anonyask]

Hello po, gusto ko lang po sanang malaman kung talaga po bang para kami sa isa't-isa, sabi nya kase mahal nya ko; pero hindi na sya tulad ng dati..

Hi anon! Hindi kayo para sa isat-isa. Period. Kung mahal ka niya, mararamdaman mo yung love niya para sa’yo araw-araw. Yun bang kahit kayo na eh para bang nililigawan ka pa rin niya. 

Masyado mang cliché pakinggan, may mas deserve sa’yo na inilaan ng Diyos. Mahirap mag move on oo, pero yung desisyon mo na maghintay na lamang para sa karapat dapat na tao will be worth it. I promise. Hintayin mo na lamang yung tamang timing ni God. 

God bless you. :)

- J9x

[anonyask]

In January I met at my youth group and we really hit things off. We texted a lot and spent every Tuesday together at the youth group meetings. In March was when I realized that I was developing strong feelings for him and that I was slowly starting to fall for him. In early April we became friends on facebook and I learned that he is 21, I'm 16. He found that out at group the next day. We don't talk anymore (he ignores my texts), he now has a girlfriend and I'm in love with him. What do I do?

dear anon, 

i am so sorry to say so, but i think you should slowly try to move on. you can’t force love to fall into place and as you say, he has a girlfriend now, i assume his feelings aren’t the same as yours. i know, everybody says love isn’t about age and age doesn’t matter, but especially at this young age, a year can feel like centuries. because a whole lot is changing in these years between 15 and 20. but of course i agree with you, it is not a nice way to break with your friendship in just ignoring you and your texts. it is not very mature though. but obviously, he doesn’t want any contact anymore, so try to move on. there are wonderful people out there, who will appreciate and love you as much as you deserve it.i know it is not easy to “un-love” someone, as you can’t force someone to love you, you can’t just stop to love someone either. maybe it helps to write down your feelings, this could either be a diary or write letters to him or an imaginary friend, explaining your feelings and hurts. after this you can store them away in a box or maybe even burn them. some people find “salvation” in music or art, they can express their feelings there. but most important i think, don’t hide up in your own shell, go out, socialize, make new friends, meet new people.and take care of yourself, give yourself a treatment, do some manicure or pedicure, visit the hairdresser. basically make yourself feel good about yourself. 

dear anon, i hope any of these can help you a bit and remember the world and its wonderful people are waiting for you!

– all the love, daniela

[anonyask]

Ive been dating this person for over a year now and I trust and love them very much. We've been talking about having sex for a while now but Im super anxious. Yes we have condoms and safe sex stuff but Im still nervous because I've never had sex before so theres a lot of possible things that might happen and I think I may be freaking out to much. How do I get over my anxiety about this? And any other advice you have would be appreciated. Thank you.

dear anon,

first of all, it is totally normal to be nervous or even a bit scared about this new situation. it is a huge step in a relationship and adds another dimension to it. at least it felt for me like this.and now i feel like being repetitive, but talk to your partner. share your thoughts and fears with them. maybe they are scared as hell as you are or they can calm you down and make you feel more relaxed about the whole situation. try to think about it as an experience, as something you can improve and work on. nobody is perfect at their first time. try to be as relaxed as possible and the rest will work out. maybe you also want to have a look here.

– all the love, daniela

[anonyask]

how do i stop being bored in a relationship?

dear anon,

the key is simple: communication.talk to each other, try to figure out what bores you the most and how you can make a change. your partner may not know you are bored, he/she can’t read your mind. so you have to communicate. a relationship is a lot about communication. also try to break your routines, your personal ones and the ones in your relationship. go out and talk to others instead of sitting at home, read a book and talk about it instead of watching a movie, try new things in your sexual life.and maybe, if nothing else seems to help, consider a break in your relationship. but talk to each other, i am sure all of your problems will vanish.

– all the love, daniela

[bangtan-mental]

hey! i was just wondering which bts members would be most compatible (both relationship and friendship wise) for my mbti and horoscope sign. i'm a capricorn, and as for my mbti, i'm kind of a weird one. i'm a very solid np, but i'm an ambivert as opposed to an introvert or extrovert, and my feeling and thinking scores are extremely close and tend to fluctuate. which members would suit a personality like mine?

As an ENTP, either V or J-Hope would be most interested romantically, while Rap Monster would fit best as a friend.

As an ENFP, J-Hope and maybe Jimin would be the most interested romantically, while V would make a great guy best friend.

As an INTP, Rap Monster and Jungkook would have the highest possibility of being interested romantically. Unfortunately, friendship wise, no one would quite hit the mark.

As an INFP, Rap Monster and maybe J-Hope would be most interested romantically. Jimin or Jungkook would be a good fit as a best friend.

As a Capricorn, Jungkook or Rap Monster would make a good fit as your boyfriend, while Suga would make a good best friend.

J-Hope/Rap Monster would suit you best romantically while Jungkook would fit pretty good as a close friend.

[bangtan-mental]

Yo! Can you ship me with BTS please, romantically and friendship wise? I'm either INFP or INTP as well as a Scorpio. Thanks a lot, keep up with your blog, it's well done.

As an INFP, Rap Monster and maybe J-Hope would be most interested romantically. Jimin or Jungkook would be a good fit as a best friend.

As an INTP, Rap Monster and Jungkook would have the highest possibility of being interested romantically. Unfortunately, friendship wise, no one would quite hit the mark.

In terms of being a Scorpio, I think Suga and V would be attracted romantically. Friendship wise, I would say Jungkook would make a great guy friend.

Rap Monster would fit best romantically while Jungkook would make a good friend.