#asphodelproject

[ginadope]

funnyhoney

Each forged morning Life kept dying; Emptiness perverts the beauty of chance 

Real only to body and language, I was only ever gentle  With one of them

Destroy to create — The first and the last reason; I hope for no more, I fear there will be no more

[flammaelunae]

my most dramatic of memories

are turning terribly vague right in front of me;

my best days are 4 to 6 years ago,

but a new sun is rising, and it’s brighter

than any other star i’ve seen before.

after the rebirth, how do you live?

the freedom to breathe again

allows for the threat of suffocation

to take place; now i’m afraid of the daylight

‘cause the sunrise has been treating me well

– all pink and orange, just as vibrant

as i remember it from back then –,

and i’m mainly alive in the moments

where everything either falls apart

or starts unfolding.

did i mistake the main part for the prelude?

i only make fatal mistakes;

and i end up in one of two states:

eternally grateful, deeply frustrated.

everything i have now was once a fantasy,

but i raise the bar quickly, it’s spilling out of me

like water from a broken glass.

i’m praying for a life that fills my lungs with air,

measuring the amount of grey clouds on a pain scale

(moderate to severe);

my suffering will never make me famous,

so i might as well live a life

of happy mediocrity.

repetition, my curse, i’m learning my lessons;

but i’m not learning them fast enough.

[ginadope]

ink and bone

Worlds upon worlds  And I still look too human Still, still — Between the god of resolve and the sun A lingering echo A dream of ink, both dissolving in water 

The little light fell to its death; A spark caught upon my lips, and I so Hoped for breath!  I thought that was why I had kept the bone dagger, But all that came out was, still, just blood

[ginadope]

hidden hunters

Spider on my ceiling I am watching your prey

This is already my second life  Only my second, and so I am terrified of the dark; Cold sunrises teach me to see They peek from under their veils, and Come in silence, the way only Hiding in between is silent 

The Moon has been jumping through the sky Her callous stolen light  It whispers: 'you cannot trust your eyes'

Jagged skies Unravelling unease 

Catch me, spider  There are no stares That can pierce your web

[ginadope]

mundane heresy

I dream of freedom I reach down my ribcage; The fur feels soft, but the animal — it just wants to die 

Unborn Sun, our tears are precious Allow me some mundane heresy  At the curtain call, let the empress cry; This is the purest language  It will crawl out of thoughts and eternity; I no longer dream of floods, only of lips moving

[ginadope]

the clouds

I wanted to fly so he broke my legs 

He let me see clouds, made me believe  They taste of something sacred, that they Will stay, speak truth for me  That I was not born That I was just mist 

Bones, and blood, and dreams of water  I cannot lie myself out of a body; I was alone I wanted silence to have a meaning

[ginadope]

running still

More and more poison And none of it will bring The innocence of dusks back 

There is no sun to wake up to And yet I am not granted nights  Patience, presence  Between the teeth of frustration 

You are teaching me You believe in me You are tormenting me to heaven In a blighted land

[ginadope]

magic!

The bad juju of a medicine One bought with insecurity  Still lingers in dim light; It colours the edges, and — A synthetic telekinetic — Seems to move the curtains 

There is no frustration  No anxiety In this piece, at least There is, however, a bit more than a decade Of brain glitches  And, lately, soft dog fur That helps me heal from healing