The past is creeping up my throat
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The past is creeping up my throat
A little spark that has eyes It has always been both fire and ash It would like to see To begin, to feel a cold sea On its fingertips
It is the secret in his wine And the river's poem Misses how the air felt Before the unannounced end
Unformed unease Chastised October Misguided heroine The body of my body — Has it yet to notice? Does it know? It is gentler, a little bit Just one of two sinners It knows
sensical
selfless dive into headstrong ties, bound by the feet as we sway in january's fickle wind. moored on the rocks of this familiar settlement, there's a strange cohesion with universal time. no footing to speak of, only a turn of phrase; a memory lost to the deluge. one of spring sadness- spider web aura, shaken off, deluded by belief in permanent absence. how it went and where things stand often seem at odds, yet, how else was this to turn out? we lapped up hours on the golden coast meandering about wreckages left to dissolve in silence. what was gained from road goings flash briefly before being washed over by some scroll feed horror rendering desire for peaceful sundowns as downright absurd.
Broken wrists
Help wanted signs
Softly choking
Flowers screaming
Reading code
Unfamiliar
Lost
Sorting through lumber
W/ one hand
The semantics
Of drafted misunderstandings
Are inked on juxtaposed dreams
As the poet with lidless eyes
Dreams besides you
On a highway hypnosis
Where megalomaniacal cosmologies
Run startled across the fields
The shape of triangles
Of infrared iridiscence
Upon a world that forever spins
And falls in a palette of colours
Yawning at the voice of an absence
That longs to be present
Learn to identify your feelings, then you can name them, then you can kill them
In order to answer the question
Of what it is I am dreading
We first must establish
What is meant by the term dread
Seeping in nature
You don’t realise you’re numb
Until you’re dripping down your front
And the bottom has fallen out of your self concept
You really should have reinforced it
A cold but transitory state
I am not built for sterility
I am conscious of the pasta sauce on my shirt
The dirt under my skin
Prickling until it bursts
Common characteristics are
Waking up reluctantly
Like you kicked off the blanket
Accidentally
Waking up reluctant
Play acting civilities
Miming your errands
While the incessant fizzing
Rebuilds you from inside
Gradually
But like a freight train
Your chest is full of marbles now
Migrating to your legs
There’s a knocking on the door
It’s been getting louder
If only you had listened
It’s that fear of the invasion
Vulnerable soft bits
You left yourself open
Don’t say you weren’t warned
The smallest voice in your throat
Getting louder
And gagging
Invade yourself now
Overcome
Eat your fears
Lie down and take it
Everyone has to
Sooner or later
You’ll just have to do it
Shove yourself down
Just go to the dentist
———
i understand the violence it took to become that gentle. i understand. but you have yet to grasp the gentleness, the love within my violence, softest warmth begetting blood on fur that i wear like a medal, on my neck my crown of thorns, my wedding band, it’s you for whom i bite. and you have yet to grasp the fear, the care with which i keep you safe, under my watch no jaws will ever find their way to you, nor any tooth, no tear will ever be torn from you, for it’s you for whom i bite. and you have yet to grasp my devotion, no others beside you could I keep, no kin, no consanguines except in what is bled and in my mouth i’ve whet my wolfish little knives for you, it’s you for whom i bite. i understand the violence it took to become that gentle. i understand. and so i bite.