Please tag as ATBAK. I get overwhelming urges to stab myself in the stomach when I get really angry and it scares me and I don't know what to do.
Hey there!
I'm really so sorry that you're being upset by the thoughts you get when you're angry but I want you to understand that they're really very common, although not strictly healthy.
Very often urges like these are to do with the frustration anger brings and dealing with frustration and anger are very difficult because, for most of us, we don't have to deal with it too often. This means that we're often at a loss for what to do when we are angry and so we don't think rationally- the thoughts that come into our heads when angry appear to be really random and most commonly agressive. Some people want to/do express this anger and agression inwardly and others do so outwardly- that is to say, some people take their anger out on themselves whilst others take it out on other people/things. So while it isn't good for you to have thoughts of stabbing yourself in the stomach when you're angry, it isn't abnormal and it does not mean that you are going to go through with it!
When I struggled with cutting I very often got the urge to self harm when I was angry but I had a few calming techniques and ways of dealing with anger that helped me chill out and not go through with whatever urges I had. Calming yourself down from being angry is honetly so difficult because when you're angry you don't want to calm down; you want to get angry and let your frustration out and just let go a bit but the rational part of your mind knows it isn't good for you- listen to the rational part. Consiously make yourself think about the logical reasons not to get angry- even if it's just for a few seconds it can help you to enable yourself to calm down.
An example of some rational thoughts to tell yourself:
I could very seriously harm myself and I don't want to do that
I could cause irreparable damage and that isn't in any way good
I could upset other people quite seriously and that isn't my intention
Stabbing myself isn't going to fix anything- I have not reason or need to do so
If I calm down I can help myself feel better quickly and it will make me happier
Some good techniques for calming yourself down from anger:
Count to ten
Breathing techniques (find one that works for you but the general frame is: breathe in for x seconds, hold your breath for x seconds, breathe out as slowly as you can)
Distract yourself (visit our page on distractions here)
Relaxation techniques like yoga and mediation
It is often thought that anger mangement is for people with anger issues and for people who on a daily basis lose their temper but we could all use a bit of anger management so that we can deal with the unwanted emotions! Here is our page on anger management techniques and here is the NHS page on anger management :)
Depending on the nature of the thoughts these could also be catagorised as 'intrusive thoughts'. Intrusive thoughts are repetitive and intense and most people experience them- especially when having strong feelings such as anger. Either way I think it might be really good for you to chat to a doctor about this? They can help with anger management and may look into things like CBT to help you work on dealing with your anger and expressing it in safe and positive healthy ways :) It might also comfort you to have a safety plan? A little piece of paper that tells you to do a few things when you get the thought of stabbing yourself or you're worried of what you may do when you're angry. I'm so so so glad you reached out and I'm proud that you did- You deserve a little self care so be kind to yourself generally and don't be to hard on yourself when you get these thoughts. After getting angry look after yourself and work on ways of winding down such as taking a bath, napping, etc. Take care, my love! <3
You are getting along fantastically,Amy-Shona~<3
