Ranking every zone in WoW based on how Aussie it looks - Part 1: Eastern Kingdoms
Rules:
The zone has to look like a NATURAL Australian environment for me to give it a high score. A shit arse playground or park in Australia with invasive trees and shit doesn't count as a natural Aussie environment.
Animals in the environment don't realllyyy matter, as I'm pretty certain there's very few if any Australian animals depicted in World of Warcraft. Plus, even in a very aussie looking place in WoW you'll get shit like big arse thunder lizards and also zebra unicorns. soo yeah. but if there ARE a lot of aussie animals (like spiders, bats, crocs, etc) then I may give extra points.
Disclaimer: I am not an expert on Aussie environments, I'm simply an Australian who lives in Australia…obviously. lmfao. And I've not been everywhere or seen everything there is to see about Aussie natural environments. But I did have a multitude of tabs and images open to ensure that environments or biomes that I don't know about didn't get missed by me. But if I did miss them anyways…please gimme some slack. I'm just some fucking guy. this is for fun. we're not out here doing real science or whatever.
Anyways onto the ranking. Pictures included. This is gonna be long so the first two are exposed but the rest are under the "read more". In true Aussie style, all the WoW screenshots are at night time because whenever you try to play during the day irl, it's always night time in-game because the day/night cycle is in REAL TIME and is based on North America's time zones even in the Oceanic servers 🙄
Eversong Woods - 0/10
Doesn't look like any type of native Australian forest that I've seen. Probably only something you'd see in some public park with a bunch of invasive species and such. Very pretty though.
Ghostlands - 1/10
Very spooky. Not very Australian. The trees almost look like they could be a species of Melaleuca, but I think their branches are just tooo….outspread. idk. It's not looking quite right. I give it a 1 because it's more Aussie looking than Eversong Forest. there were also huge bats and giant spiders so I think that's a plus.
Eastern Plaguelands - 0/10
Very Not Australian looking with the pine trees- complete with the giant worms, giant sentient bugs and also the fucking floating Acherus Hold in the sky. Shit's fucked. Not Aussie at all. Zero points. I can feel the Lich King's presence in my mind. I'd like to leave.
Western Plaguelands - 0/10
The less fucked up version of the Eastern Plaguelands. Still not Aussie. What else do you want me to say? It's a pine forest, dude.
Tirisfal Glades - 0/10
More spookies. Actually pretty sick looking. Not very Australian. Although we do get native pine trees in Australia, they don't reallllly look like what you'd expect if you're from NA or Europe and are familiar with the pine trees in your area, so it's pretty easy to tell when the pines aren't Aussie.
Silverpine Forest - 0/10
Dude, it's in the name. PINE. The non-Aussie kind. I love the remnant of Argus in the sky, very Australian looking. Reminds me of what the sun looks like behind bushfire smoke. Not a part of Silverpine Forest specifically since it's In The Sky, so Silverpine doesn't get a point for it. But I like it.
Gilneas - 0/10
I hurts my heart to give Gilneas zero points in ANYTHING because I fucking love Gilneas, but it is not very Australian looking. In fact, it's VERY England coded on purpose by the devs sooo….yeah. No points. Beautiful though.
Hillsbrad Foothills - 0/10
Hills by Brad. Hills for your Feet. Hills with pine trees that are very not Aussie looking at all. Love the sick ass lightning I managed to capture though. Still not getting any points.
Hinterlands - 0/10
Hint: these lands aren't Australian. This has gotta be the MOST stereotypical pine forest I've ever seen. I almost wanna give it negative points. But I won't. Because I'm fair.
Arathi Highlands - 1/10
For once, we do not have any fucking trees. WAHOO! Some diversity!!! I don't really know what it's giving but it's not really giving Australia, to me. It gets one point for not having many pine trees.
Wetlands - 2/10
WOAHHH WETLANDS! Some different biomes and shit! Now, we do get swamps and wetlands in Australia buttt…these trees are looking a little…not Australian. It gets points for being moist.
Twilight Highlands - 0/10
Looking a lil fucked up and evil. I also killed a boss here while I was taking screenshots since it was super close. Yeah, not very Aussie looking. Praying for the people who live here.
Loch Modan - 0/10
More pine trees and…whatever the fuck that is coming from the Twilight Highlands. Yikes brother. Not Australian. I wanna leave now.
Dun Morogh - 0/10
Mate it's pine trees with SNOW. It's the least Aussie place we've seen yet. Bloody freezing. My nipples are falling off as we speak.
Badlands - 3/10
MY FUCKING COCK AND BALLS HAVE BEEN BURNT MATE!!! CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!!! With all seriousness despite the name "Badlands" and everything being burnt to a crisp and a big dick and balls being seen from way up in the sky, and in general the place being desert-y, it's not super Australian to me. It's giving…American desert buttes. We do get buttes in Australia but they're usually not looking quite like this. These are looking like two fucked up testicles that need skin grafts.
Searing Gorge - 1/10
This is a big ass active volcano. You can see the volcanic ash coming out of that bitch! While yes we do get volcanoes in Australia, they don't usually look like your traditional volcano. They can be a bit closer to the ground, like this image right here. It gets one point for being a volcano, which we do in fact get. That's about it though.
Burning Steppes - 1/10
More burnt shit. Kind of reminds me of a desert a little, iiffff it weren't for the burnt pine trees in the area. Very incredibly volanic area to the point where the rocks are coming alive and walking around. Not very Australian imo. Gets on point for being on the other side of the volcano, which we do get. That's it though.
Redridge Mountains - 0/10
Not pine trees for once! Not really able to pin-point the species of tree here since I'm not a tree expert or tree enthusiast, but it's looking…kinda not very Aussie. The mountains would get points for looking a little like the Bungle Bungles in the Purnululu national park, if it weren't for the fact that ALL mountains in WoW fucking look like that. It's bizarre, actually.
Swamp of Sorrows - 1/10
I'd give it points if the trees were more Australian but just because it's a swamp doesn't mean it's Aussie, you know? kinda like my friend Swamp, who's from california. did give it 1 point for being a swamp though.
Deadwind Pass - 0/10
It's very dead, it's probably windy, but it did not pass the Aussie vibe check. IDK man I just don't know any places in Australia that look like this. It's a no.
Duskwood - 0/10
Another favourite of mine. It'd get points for being Australian because of the big ass spooky spiders if it weren't for the fact that they were literally named "black widows" in-game. Yeah, these spiders are American :/ goddamn it.
Westfall - 0/10
It's a goddamn wheat farm and it's flat as hell and there are fucking TORNADOS EVERYWHERE!!!!! this is kansas!!!!! not aussie at all!!!!
Elwynn Forest - 0/10
Elwynn is looking very not-Australian right now. This shit looks like a man-made park. Very much what a kid thinks a forest looks like.
Blasted Lands - 3/10
It gets some points for having red sand, which we do get in Australia. But just because these lands have been blasted doesn't make it Australian.
Stranglethorn Vale - 4/10
Holy shit it's a rainforest??!!!? YEAHHHHH BUDDY. I've only been to 1 rainforest in my life, and there were some pretty tall and thick trees there, though they were really close together, which these ones are not. and not much of the ground was accessible either, you had to follow a narrow path or simply not walk at all. giving it points for being a rainforest even if it's not stricty australian. i just think rainforests are awesome.
CONCLUSION
Based on my calculations of all the points that these places didn't get, the Eastern Kingdoms is 6.8% Australian. Most of that is the more deserty areas, and the few places we got that were a bit more…wet. This post took 4 hours to make. Enjoy it or else. More zone rankings will be coming soon.
You don’t need one necessarily but it is a thing usually done in primary schools when we learn handwriting/cursive!
It’s not a legal document or anything, just a laminated piece of paper your teacher gives you when you meet a certain point of approval – and is the marker that shows you are allowed to graduate from using pencils only in your notebooks to being allowed to use pens
it’s pretty standard to my knowledge that you’ll get them throughout and around grade 4 (9-10 yrs old) so for kids who got them earlier in the year it was like a status symbol but was also incentive to get your handwriting perfect (match the shape and guide exactly with no personality)
I am still very salty that I never got mine, especially when I think I was the only person in my whole year level who didn’t, and by grade 5 they just expected us to write with pen because the license didn’t actually matter then – including a specific incident where my friend got hers despite her f’s being wrong and me not getting mine that same day for the reason being that my f’s were wrong (in the exact same way)
Hey you're Australian right? What's the biggest spider you've seen?
I am indeed Aussie. And I have a lot of stories about big fucking spiders. But the biggest spider I’ve ever had to personally deal with, would be a Huntsman Spider the size of a damn dinner plate.
Its really common to hear that sentence. But seriously... this spider was HUGE!! And it made me nervous being around it, and that is saying something. I’ve lived with these things. I’ve rehomed them from dark corners and shower curtains and bathroom towels to the outside multiple times. But this thing was.... unnervingly big.
The rest of the story is below if you’re interested. But trust me... when an Aussie gets nervous about a Huntsman spider...the fucker is big.
I usually just use a large plastic container with newpaper to safely move the spiders. I use to hand-hold them but its better for both me and the spiders that I use something inclosed to make sure they don’t get hurt or crawl to a position I cannot reach them.
But this particular spider had to be transported in a massive aquarium net. Usually the ones you use when you have to catch big fish like Oscars or Disc Fish.
I had to place the net over it and kinda hope the spider would crawl into the mesh and I could move it while it sorta just hung out in the net. But instead of crawling onto the mesh, it started TO PUSH AGAINST THE NETTING AND MADE ME WALK ALONG SIDE THE WAY BECAUSE IT WAS PHYSICALLY MOVING THE NET ALONG WITH IT.
I literally could not lift the net because then it would crawl higher up the wall, but it refused to let me slide newspaper under it. You could feel it pushing down so the paper didn’t go under its little feet.
Anyway, eventually it decided to crawl into the net and as I was walking through the house to get rid of it, the spider was bending the handle of the net it was that heavy!! And then it started to crawl over the lip of the net and I literally yeeted that net out of the window because I did not want that thing getting onto the ground and start jumping around or rush to climb something to get higher.
I love spiders. They’re super neat little critters. But this one particular spider just... needed to stay outside and fuck off.
It's a shame there's no more jokes but Cheezles is an amazing name
although they don’t have the jokes on the single packets anymore, I think the whole spiel they have on boxes of cheezles about the cheezles mascot (the big cheeze) is a great joke in itself lmao.
