This is a Master for the important links for my stories 😊
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More like an unwanted mistake. Which, funny enough, had actually been the first words she ever heard her father say to her.
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Kurisaki Rinko was born an unwanted bastard child to the Zenin clan, having since grown into an unwanted bastard adult. Her stubborn refusal to be discarded resulted in a display of strength that many would call (they had, many times to her face, in fact) an unhinged lack of self-preservation. But lucky for her, that unhinged display caught the attention of a particular blue-eyed menace who happens to be more fun to rile up than anyone she’s ever met.
Read Another Level on AO3
Physical Paradox Masterlist
Status: In Progress
How they went from:
“I’m kinda impressed,” Gojo stated, sliding his sunglasses onto his face. “Didn’t expect a psych major to know this much about philosophical theory.”
Rinko blinked at him slowly, raising her eyebrows as she scoffed.
“I’m sorry, mister unresolved childhood trauma,” she said, stepping closer and poking a finger in his chest. “But I don’t really give a fuck if you’re impressed.”
To:
“Your professor is leading the world of cognitive and behavioral research,” Gojo told Rinko's students, chest swelling with pride.
“And she’s really pretty-”
“Oh, she’s fucking gorgeous!” he agreed. “She has it all. Smart, funny, beautiful. She’s honestly perfect. It’s incredible she-”
“Married you?” Touma interjected. “I know. I thought the same thing when I first met you.”
Read Physical Paradox on AO3
Gokudō Masterlist
Status: On Hold (I will finish this eventually, though)
Gokudō (極道): the extreme path. A term used to refer to members of a Yakuza syndicate.
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“Now, why is a pretty girl like you in an ugly place like this?”
“Some might say the contrast is tragically poetic,” she replied easily.
“Yeah, well,” he drawled, a smirk pulling at his lips as he stepped up to stand beside her. “Others would say it’s tragically idiotic. What’s your name, pretty girl?”
“Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?” she asked, her pulse jumping at his quiet chuckle.
“You already know who I am.”
-
She never asked to be part of this world. A world filled with greed and violence and revenge. She never asked to be part of the world where life was as meaningless as dust. The world stained red by the blood that pooled beneath her mother’s body after she was forced to watch her die. She never asked to be part of the world driven by hatred and bloodlust, but she never asked to leave, either.
Read Gokudō on AO3
One-Shots
Before I Love You - (angsty Gojo/Rinko AU, hopeful ending)
- Part 2: Broken Lens | Author's Discussion
Fight Me? - (Nurse!Gojo shoots his shot with a grumpy patient)
The Theft - (Two broken hearts, ten years of separation, and a stolen sweater)
Blurbs
For Your Health - (College!Gojo just wants to help his girlfriend stay healthy)
Untitled Unfinished Angst - (very angsty Goinko bc Kiko is not ok)
Built to Break - (exes to lovers au with a lil extra trauma sprinkled bc Kiko is never ok)
Previews
Untitled (a self-indulgent Goinko AU about healthy relationships)
- Preview 2
Bittersweet Memories (an angsty au inspired by The Vow)
Locked Out (College AU Shortseries)
Random Asks and Kiko's Rants
Ask: Advice for AO3 writers and when you're in a creativity rut
Tune in to watch Sybrina Fulton & Tracy Martin discuss their new memoir, Rest In Power: The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin, with New York Daily News’ Shaun King.
I absolutely LOVE that so many of you have so many thoughts about the most recent addition to Another Level! This part was incredibly challenging for me to write and I'm so very proud of how it came out and how the emotions came across.
I decided to post this because I was going to end up writing full-length books in the comments replying, and I thought this might be better lol For those who haven't read it yet, I'm putting the discussion below the cut so you can avoid spoilers!
If you haven't already and want to know more, you can find Another Level on AO3 :)
In all honesty, I struggled to write this part a lot because I already had the outcome planned. I knew from the start that this would be their first big fight and it would test them, but that they would come out stronger. I also knew that I wanted to keep Gojo as close to our real Gojo as possible, meaning that he's likely not going to apologize for hurting her. In his mind, he was justified in being upset, so whatever he did or said was justified as well.
You will see some of this in the upcoming chapter for Hollow Echoes.
Something I want to convey in this story as a whole is that people are messy. Humans are filled with lots of emotions, and pain is one of the hardest to work with because people in pain are typically unpredictable.
Gojo is human. And he is far from perfect. While he shouldn't have lashed out the way he did, it's very human of him to direct that anger at the first person he comes in contact with. It's actually why he had isolated himself in the first place because he knows he's not okay enough to be around people when he's like that even if he doesn't know how to say that. He doesn't want to risk ruining the persona he's built of being carefree and nonchalant by taking his anger out on others, so he shuts himself away for a few days to get a handle on his emotions and then slides his mask back in place. She caught him while he was still trying to find that mask again and it threw him off a lot. Hence his lashing out.
He's also furious with Nanami. More than he's upset with Rinko, actually. Because Nanami overstepped quite a bit here. Well-intentioned, but he ignored the fact that Gojo clearly wanted to be left alone.
We're going to see that Nanami struggles with letting people handle things alone, he is a fixer. It's a trait that's pretty common in a lot of people even if they don't mean for it to be harmful: Your not being okay is making me not okay or is disrupting my life, so I need you to be okay again so I can be okay too. While many times it's because they care about that person, it rarely has good results, and this is a prime example of that.
Gojo missing jobs is disrupting Nanami's life because he's having to pick up some of the slack, and Yaga is getting angry as well. So, he does what he thinks will fix it: have Rinko talk to him. Because Gojo acts differently with her and is softer with her, Nanami thought that she would show up and things would just fix themselves. He's going to keep thinking that without meaning to.
So, while Rinko and Nanami both meant well, they blatantly disrespected Gojo's wish to be left alone.
Should he have communicated that he wanted to be left alone explicitly? Maybe. But they both should have realized that if he wasn't answering, that was him communicating his desire. Rinko did realize this, but she ignored that instinct in favor of listening to people who had known Gojo longer.
Nanami asking Rinko to cross a boundary by invading Gojo's space without permission - and her doing so - hurt Gojo quite a bit. Because it's what everyone else does and he didn't expect her to be like that. It's why she had a key to his place when literally no one else did. Because he thought he could trust her to not do exactly what she ended up doing.
I also made the purposeful choice to have her not mention in her messages that she was coming over. None of her messages even implied such, so he was truly blindsided by her showing up and entering without his permission.
Honestly, I have been on both ends of similar situations and it's really hard, so I'm happy with how this turned out because it starts to convey that complexity just a bit.
So, while being upset with him is completely understandable - and Rinko will be because she's also human and has emotions and is valid in them - his reaction makes sense from a purely human perspective. She also already knows that what she did was wrong, how she went about trying to check on him, and she'll acknowledge it. She knows he's human. Probably better than anyone else in his life at this point, and she understands what it's like to say and do things just because she's hurting.
He is going to admit to her that it's one of the things he likes most about her, appreciates about her. Because she sees a human with too much being asked of him when she looks at him instead of an untouchable god, like so many others do. He's going to tell her such, too.
Because if you'll remember, at this point, there are two people who have worn him down enough to land a hit on him: Toji Fushiguro and Rinko Kurisaki. And they did it days apart from each other, for completely different reasons. Gojo was escorting Riko Amanai less than a week after meeting Rinko.
This was intentional. And it's a trait that irritates him while drawing him to her more. Her comment to Shoko about him being so different with her because of their first encounter? Not far off. She and Toji are cousins. First cousins. His father and her father were brothers. So, bastard or not, their blood relation is more direct than she ever talks about or wants to admit because it's the same amount of blood they'd have shared were she a legitimate child. And the fact that Toji was actually her first introduction to the Jujutsu world as a kid doesn't help with that.
Rinko has viewed herself as weak for multiple reasons and it's made her rely more on her brain than her cursed energy. After training a bit with Gojo, she's relying on both.
But think back to their fight in Make a Good Bleed: she knew she couldn't beat him, so she focused on wearing him down and being annoying. And then when she saw an opening, she took it.
After just a few meetings with Toji, without him trying to teach her anything, she realized how useful having no cursed energy could be and learned to mask her own to make herself seem weaker. She is incredibly tactical and it will show even more over time. But what makes it even better is that she doesn't realize just how tactical she really is because she has believed what the main clan has told her since the day they met her: half-breeds are weak.
If you'll remember when she called herself a half-breed to Gojo, he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at her. That wasn't because he didn't like being bested, it was because he didn't like that she called herself that. What did he say to her after?
"Zenin's are strong." He doesn't differentiate that. She has Zenin blood, so she's strong, 'half-breed' or not. He'll hear Naoya call her this once, and he's going to lose his mind.
Does any of this mean he's off the hook? Oh hell no. But, it's one reason she reacted the way she did in how quickly she retreated and blamed herself there at the end.
TLDR: Humans are messy and imperfect, and Gojo is no exception even if he is the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer in the world.
Author Discussion: Before I Love You - Part 2: Broken Lens
OKAY. HI. So, I wanted to talk about Before I Love You because I know people had so many thoughts about Part 1, and now that I’ve posted Part 2, there are a few things I wanted to highlight.
1) Narrative/Stylistic Choice
An important decision I made with Part 1 is that Rinko’s name isn’t used except when someone else says it. Not sure if anyone noticed, but the only two people who say her name are: Naobito and Gojo. This is incredibly important because it’s the two people she relied on to determine her self-worth. Her father treated her like shit most of her life, and that destroyed her self-image, but him trying to mend that relationship really started making her feel like she was suddenly worth his time. Her relationship with Gojo made her feel wanted. And that’s all most of us want, amiright? We just want to feel loved and wanted, and Gojo made her feel both of those—until he cheated on her.
In Part 2, we see the shift in her reclaiming her identity. As she recovered from her heartbreak, she found herself and learned to love herself without needing the validation of someone else to make her feel worthy. In the first flashback, you’ll likely notice that her name still isn’t used, only Yuzuki’s name is. In the second flashback with Gojo, it isn't used either. But at the end of the second flashback with her mother, there’s a shift. As she stands in the bakery and reflects on the situation, it’s the first time her name is used in a flashback beyond someone else saying it. All of the ‘present day’ sections in Part 2 include her name because it’s meant to show how comfortable and secure she is with herself now.
2) Rinko, Identity, and Self-Image
The purpose of this story is to highlight the idea of identity and self-worth without needing someone else to determine them. I know I struggle with it, and I see so many patterns that emphasize that others do, too. It’s easy to fall into the idea, even just subconsciously, that we need another person in our life(i.e. a relationship) to validate that we’re worthy of love. My intent with Before I Love You is to show Rinko’s healing process and learning to be happy with who she is outside of a relationship. It’s her loving herself and where she is in life without constantly craving that companionship.
She has a better relationship with Naobito, but she knows now that how he treated her when she was a kid never had anything to do with her and everything to do with him. She was able to forgive him because she realized that her worth never had anything to do with his actions. And that helped her realize the same thing about Gojo cheating on her: whatever reasons he had were his problem, not hers.
Rinko’s heartbreak allowed her to grow and blossom into the person she is now. She’s close with Toji and Megumi, and the twins rely on her for safety. She’s content and happy with her life, which is why she’s in a place where she can allow Gojo that small space as her friend because she did miss her friend.
3) Gojo's Perspective
I decided to have the last bit from Gojo’s perspective because I felt it necessary to show that he’s sincere and genuine. He understands that he fucked up and that there’s nothing he can do or say that will ever fix things or earn forgiveness. His apology to Rinko, and his apology to Yuzuki, were important for his closure. They allowed him to finally close that door on a portion of his life that’s haunted him for years. Not only did he hurt Rinko and ruin their relationship, but he also lost one of his closest friends. And he knew he had no one to blame but himself.
The most important thing to emphasize about his perspective is that he expected nothing from Yuzuki when he apologized. He didn’t expect her to even believe anything he said, and he didn’t ask anything of her except to listen. He doesn’t expect her to tell Rinko, in fact, he doesn’t want her to know that he talked to Yuzuki because he doesn’t want her to think he’s only doing it to look good or gain favor. These steps he’s taking are for him to grow. That’s why they’re so important. He’s taking steps to better himself for him, not someone else. He’s not trying to win Rinko back. He’s not trying to prove that he's a better person than he used to be, he’s just trying to move on with his life and quit carrying this weight he’s had on his shoulders since college.
This story is primarily about Rinko’s healing process, but that doesn’t mean that Gojo doesn’t do some soul-searching and evolving as well.
The idea is that, at the very least, they'll become friends again now that they're older and a tiny bit wiser.
Anyway, that’s what I have for now. There’s more I could say, but I think I’ve addressed the main things I wanted to highlight! Hopefully, I made sense…
As for if I'll continue this story? Jury's out. I'm leaving each ending hopeful to provide at least some closure while also keeping the possibility of continuation open!
I decided to post an Author Discussion because people have THOUGHTS. And I realized that I haven't explained a few things for the sake of surprise and anticipation 😬
SO IT'S BELOW THE CUT 💕
If you haven't already, you can read Another Level on AO3 💕
And, it's recommended that you read Split Bluff before reading this as well.
1) Rinko’s technique
OKAY. Let’s talk about her technique for a minute.
We learned back in Fragmented Hope that her soul is fragmented. Then we learned in Echoes of Hope that she had realized she could use that fragment for something. We also learned that she realized that’s why she couldn’t swap places with her double: because it contained a piece of her soul. She realized that when she swaps places, she’s essentially moving her soul. Obviously, we learned in Fight Until the End that she can use that fragment for her domain.
Many of you had questions about what happened to the fragment in her double when Mahito destroyed it, and now you have your answer: Rinko regenerated it without even realizing.
SO.
The main purpose of this section is to discuss the limitations she faces that keep her from being too overpowered: Her cursed energy levels.
One of the many things that makes people like Gojo and Yuuta Special Grades is their cursed energy levels being off the charts. Gojo obviously has Limitless, and Yuuta has insane levels of cursed energy.
Rinko does not.
Her cursed energy levels are just above average on a good day. Not only that, but she expends it very often with her double and her duplicates. While creating a duplicate and swapping take very little at this point, her double takes quite a bit.
Last Stand, which we now know has two uses, consumes a lot of cursed energy. She also has to consciously choose to use it to protect others. When she’s in a dicey situation, she almost activates it out of instinct. But to protect others, she has to focus on keeping it up because it essentially forms a lil barrier around them. This consumes a lot of cursed energy because it consumes all of the cursed energy within the duplicates it destroys.
Her domain, as we just learned in the second part of Split Bluff, burns through her energy for multiple reasons.
They discuss in canon how using your domain is already risky for most because you run the risk of burning out all of your cursed energy. But Rinko’s domain does that twofold. Because she is using massive amounts of cursed energy for her domain while also consuming that fragment of her soul slowly. That means that once she releases her domain, her cursed energy is working overtime to repair the damage to her soul.
So she can’t use her technique for two reasons: 1) She used up all her cursed energy in her domain. 2) As her energy returns, she’s using it unconsciously to repair her soul.
Essentially, if Rinko actually uses her domain, she is out of the fight until her soul is done regenerating. She was unconscious for three days after the fight with Naoya. And it took more than a week for her to return to full strength.
Basically, Rinko’s domain is a glass cannon.
And it’s such a perfect representation of who she is as a person. Because she is pushing herself to her limits right now. Forcing herself to stay strong until they can get Gojo back and telling herself that once he’s back, then she’s allowed to break.
2) Rinko’s emotions
OKAY.
So.
Hi.
Rinko is super not okay emotionally right now.
As you read in the first part of Split Bluff, she is well aware that she is in love with Gojo. But she has no idea that he is in love with her. Why? Because she has to believe that. If she let herself believe that he could love her then she would want more, and if she wanted more, then it would ruin what they have.
And honestly? Up until a year ago, that would have ruined everything. But she doesn’t know that anything has changed.
“Oh, but Kiko, it has changed. Gojo loves her!” - you guys, probably 😂
Yes. Things have changed. Gojo realized he’s in love with her.
But he hasn’t told her that yet. And he has always been soft with her. Always called her pet names and given her sweet forehead kisses and acted like they were more when he wanted absolutely nothing more than to be friends who had sex.
In Split Bluff, Rinko thinks back to the instance in Show Your Hand when he lost his shit because he was scared that she would want more. That solidified for her that they would never be anything more.
Ever.
Remember those insecurities that Rinko has? Remember her thought process in Fragmented Reality?
Yeah. Those insecurities have a field day with this shit.
On top of that, she specifically notes the fact that he used to say that their friendship was “Not a typical friendship” while he did things that made it easy for someone to fall in love with him.
She notes that she let herself fall in love with him because she believed that she knew better than to expect or hope for anything in return. And she blames her struggle now on others reading into things. And him for big gestures that say more than he means for them to.
When did she make this decision? Somewhere between Let’s Get Lost and Double-Edged Words. We have a gap of over a year between these two where Gojo was being his lil dumb self and doing and saying things that made it easy to fall in love. Especially after she realized what he’d done for Megumi.
We know that Gojo is in love with her. But we have to remember that Rinko has known this man for eight years now, and for the first seven, he genuinely didn’t want anything more than friends with benefits.
Did they act like they were more than that? Yes. But that doesn’t change that he didn’t want a relationship.
They were still sleeping with other people until a year ago, as well. Rinko doesn’t know that Gojo hasn’t slept with anyone else in over a year, either. She knows that recently he hasn’t. But he’s never explicitly said that he stopped sleeping with other people.
So, for Rinko, these big gestures are Gojo being the same idiot she’s known for eight years who doesn’t realize that he acts like she’s more important to him than she really is.
“Oh, but Kiko, why is Rinko so oblivious?” - you guys again, probably 😂
She’s not. She’s purposefully ignoring these signs. Because if she reads into them, she will want more than what she believes he could ever give. Or ever be willing to give her.
Why?
Lemme tell you guys a little secret: Rinko’s view of herself ain’t a good one.
Think about it for a minute.
Rinko’s first conversation with her father started with him asking if she was the mistake. She’s been called a “half-breed mistake from a whore” for the better part of her life. That shit stays with you. She knows that the Zenin clan is shit. But that doesn’t change how she views herself.
Gojo has noted it so many times. In (Please) Prove Me Wrong, he noted how much he hated how she belittled herself. In Above or Below, he noted that he hated Naobito for contributing to the fact that she called herself a half-breed. In Sometimes Good Things Fall Apart, he was furious when she kept saying negative shit about herself. Gojo is well aware that Rinko’s image of herself isn’t good. That’s why, in Fragmented Reality, he immediately told her to stop. Because he knew that she was minimizing her own worth.
But let’s get back to Rinko.
I’ve got another lil secret for you guys: Rinko doesn’t believe that she could ever be important enough to someone like Gojo Satoru, the strongest, to be anything more than a footnote in his story.
Remember how willing she was to die to get that Prison Realm back? Because he was the win condition. He was the one they needed. So if she just got him back, she could die. Because it didn’t matter if she lived or died in the bigger picture. And really? It didn’t. If she died, things would have progressed, and things would have been fine. Because if she’d died and gotten them the Prison Realm, then they’d have Gojo back, and he’d save the day.
I’ve said from the beginning that my intention with Rinko as a character insert was to make it so that if you removed her it wouldn’t make a difference to the plot. Because it wouldn’t. Canon would be canon, and things would go on as they should. Story-wise.
But what Rinko has added is heart. She’s given emotional dimensions to the story that make it feel lacking without. And that is the point.
Yes, the story would progress. They’d get Gojo back, and everything would keep going.
But it would feel empty without her. Because if Rinko died, she would take the heart and love she brings with her.
Rinko believes that Gojo would be sad if she died. And she believes that he would feel guilty. But she doesn’t realize how devastated he would be. She doesn’t believe that he would be. Because in her mind, she isn’t that important.
Maki joked that they couldn’t afford for anything to happen to Rinko because the others all know that Gojo would lose his shit if he got back and found out she’d gotten killed. But the kids also know that Rinko isn’t stupid. They know why she ignores those signs. Because Gojo is an idiot. And they all know that.
That’s why they don’t bring it up to her, they bring it up to Gojo.
Megumi gave Gojo shit for not being with Rinko in a real relationship yet. Because he knows that she won’t ask for it because she believes that Gojo would never want it.
You wanna know what Yuuta was going to say in Anything But Boring when he was saying what he’d talked to Gojo about? He was going to say he had asked Gojo if he and Rinko were finally in a real relationship. Because Yuuta is a little bean who will tell his adopted mom anything and has literally no filter with her.
I’ve mentioned this once, but losing Megumi is going to be what breaks her. By the time they finally get Gojo back, Rinko will have broken completely. In the span of twenty days, she’ll have lost some of the most important people in her life forever, and she really won’t know how she can keep going. Or if she can.
Gojo is going to know this. As soon as he sees that Sukuna is in Megumi’s body, he’s going to know that Rinko isn’t okay without even seeing her. That is if she’s alive. Because he’ll also worry that Sukuna being in Megumi’s body might mean that Rinko was killed. But once he finds out she’s alive, he’s going to know that she’s not okay. The most not okay that she’ll have ever been. And he’s going to know that it actually might be impossible to pull her out of the despair that she’ll have fallen into.
Like I’ve said before, their ending will be a happy one. But it’s not going to be easy to get there.
And if you haven’t read Silence Louder than Words, the latest installment of Another Level, it’s recommended you do before reading this because there are SPOILERS in this discussion :)
Read Another Level on AO3 💕
Before I say anything, though, I wanna put a disclaimer: Don’t be upset with Nanami.
He really, really means well. He just wants them both to be okay, and he knows that Gojo needs someone. And he knows that Rinko wants to help.
As for the joking he does, remember that by this point, Rinko and Nanami really, truly see each other like siblings, so of course he’s going to joke with her about these things. He’s going to tease his work sis about her fuckbuddy needing to relieve some tension because it’s funny and normally, she’d laugh.
I’ll address the MAJOR question I have a feeling most people have first:
Why the fuck did Gojo wait until Rinko was asleep to say that last line?
So many reasons. So, so many reasons.
But the first is because that was him recognizing that feeling for the first time. This was the first time he’s allowed himself the headspace to even consider that as a possibility. And so, as they laid there, him watching her drift to sleep after she sat with him in silence for hours, it almost smacked him in the face that he really doesn’t ever want to be without her and that feeling is likely love.
On top of that, while she told him her thoughts, told him she doesn’t think he should fault himself, she accepts that she can’t force him to change his mind. But she lets him know that she just sees an impossible situation that he did the very best he could at the time in.
He’s realizing that there is someone in his life who won’t ever try to force him to be someone they expect him to be for their own benefit, and he’s finally understanding that he wants her around at all times because he likely loves her.
And this could not have happened earlier. It couldn’t have.
Much like Yuzuki dying made room for Gojo, Geto’s death is going to make room for Rinko.
With Gojo beginning to accept that Geto is going to be gone from his life forever, he’s going to be able to open up a bit more to allow Rinko inside. And, like I’ve said before, that fucking terrifies him. Because Geto was the only other person he’s ever trusted this much.
I’m warning you now: this isn’t where their relationship begins. Because 1) Gojo is a drama queen and wants to do this the way he thinks is the best way and the most dramatic. 2) Rinko still isn’t ready, and Gojo knows this.
They just reestablished that their relationship is just sex a couple of months ago. Gojo turning right around and saying ‘Hey jk, I’m in love with you’ would send Rinko running for the hills. And he is well aware of this.
Also, he’s going to need some time to make sure that he understands this feeling before jumping in and saying something too quickly. He needs to process this realization before saying anything to her.
Why was this time different than the last time she checked on him?
A great question, thank you so much for asking! 😌
Again, many, many reasons.
You’ll notice how Rinko specifically told Nanami to mind his own damn business and then seems to do exactly as he says. But she doesn’t. Not really.
She looks for Gojo and then says nothing once she finds him. She stands outside of the classroom until he speaks first.
She does not invade the space he has made for himself.
She stood in the doorway, at the threshold until he gives her permission to enter.
And she waits for him to speak before she says anything. She’d been standing there for a while before he acknowledged her, which is why she made the joke asking if he meant the room or Tokyo. She knew he knew as soon as she found him because she hadn’t made an effort to hide her duplicates while she searched.
But she kept it light, and let him be the one to make it heavy if that was what he wanted. She acknowledges to herself that if he asks her to leave, then she will with no other questions because she assumes that he’ll want her to leave.
She also notes that her gut told her to at least see him before leaving.
And that is important because she’s not listening to Nanami, she’s listening to her gut telling her to see Gojo before she leaves. And let him see her. Because she only wants him to know that she cares and is there if he wants to talk. But she will give him the space he needs if he tells her to go.
That is why he lets her stay: because she asked.
Remember, at the very end of Hollow Echoes, Gojo specifies: “Just don’t come barging in whenever you want without asking first.”
Her respecting the space he made for himself and asking if she’s allowed to enter, making it clear that she will respect his wish if he tells her no, is what prompts him to nod when she asks to sit with him.
Then, once he allows her to stay, she does exactly what she said she would: she sits with him.
She doesn’t speak, doesn’t ask him questions, or try to fill the silence, she just sits.
Because just like she admits to herself in the very beginning: she can’t make things better. She can’t make the situation any less shitty and they both know it. But she can just make sure he isn’t completely alone to deal with whatever thoughts are racing in his mind. She can let him know that she cares about him and that she’s there if he needs her and that he doesn’t have to be alone if he doesn’t want to be.
When she sat with him in silence, that made him realize that that was why he hated being around people whenever he was upset: because they always tried to fix or make him feel better or justify or anything in between. They always talked to him to try to make it better. But they never allowed him to just sit and process his thoughts like he wanted and needed.
Rinko does. She sits and lets him do whatever it is he needs and offers companionship through it, which is why he pulls her closer because he realizes that he doesn’t want to be alone. He just wants to be allowed to process without someone trying to force him to be better before he’s ready.
He’s grieving and instead of telling him to grieve faster, she sits with him and gives him the space to take however long he needs.
And that is just really beautiful.
Realistically, most people are fixers. And people don’t like when others’ emotions affect them. People also don’t like when people they care about are hurt or upset, so they try to make it better. But sometimes, what they end up doing is making things worse. Because they either fill the space that is needed to process, or they make the one grieving feel guilty for burdening others with their emotions.
I planned this part so early on for these two because it’s vital for the shift in how Gojo views and trusts her. This doesn’t mean they’re going to jump into a relationship at all because he’s still going to need time to grieve Geto, but it marks the shift in his mindset and how he sees his future.
Gojo can now see a future outside of missing Geto and regretting what happened and realizes that he wants Rinko to be in that future with him more than anyone else he’s known.
Again, they are not jumping into a relationship after this. Because this is just Gojo having this realization.
Rinko still is not ready.
I mean it when I say that were Gojo to confess to her now, she’d run. She would disappear from his life. Because not only would she think he’s only saying that out of grief and his emotions are high, but she’d think that she can’t ever be near him without risk of him saying things she doesn’t think he could ever truly mean when he’s hurting or struggling.
He knows this. He knows her. And he knows that if he were to turn to her as soon as Geto is dead and tell her that he loves her, she’d book it and he would likely never see the Rinko he’s just realized he’s in love with ever again. He knows that while he might see her, and be near her physically, she would withdraw and would never, ever open herself up to him ever again.
Because he knows how she sees him.
Remember how they started all of this in Semi-Grade:
“I’ll be honest with you, I don’t usually see someone more than once.”
She raised her eyebrows, giving her phone a look of disbelief.
“Gojo,” she said, scoffing again. “You don’t need to bullshit me-”
“I’m serious,” he cut her off again. “I’ll make you a deal. Because I said I want to be your friend - and I meant that, by the way - I won’t lie to you about this shit. If you’ll agree to the same. Occasional, casual sex, and we let the other know if that changes or something happens.”
Tilting her head to the side, she mulled his words over. He made it sound too easy, just like recommending her for Grade 1.
“Kurisaki?” he asked, and she realized she’d been completely silent. “You there?”
“Yeah,” she called, walking back to her phone and staring down at the stupid contact picture he’d taken. “Kinda unclear though, what do you mean by if anything changes? Like, if we have a partner we think may have given us something?”
“Or if you get a boyfriend…”
He was being honest when he told her he didn’t usually sleep with someone more than once. He did that in order to avoid them having feelings. And he told Rinko that their arrangement would only change if she started dating someone seriously because he knew that he wouldn’t be doing anything of the sort. He wanted her to understand that it was all he would ever want before they agreed to continue. And it’s because of all of that that he knows Rinko doesn’t think he’s capable of love because he didn’t think he really was until this realization.
The last thing I’ll address is why he specifies that he needs her to be in Kyoto:
Because he wants her in Tokyo with him. He wants to ask her to be at Shinjuku with him because her presence would help ease his mind.
But he knows that not only will she be needed in Kyoto, but that he needs to know Kyoto will be safe. And if she’s there, he knows it will be.
We’ll find out that he’s added Nanami as a last-minute addition on the day of the death parade. He does not do this because he thinks Rinko can’t handle it alone. It’s because he knows that it’ll ease her mind to have Nanami there to back her up. And he just wants her to feel as secure as possible in what he knows she’s capable of.
This one was a real labor of love for me. I really, really love the complexity of Silence Louder than Words, because I feel it shows growth on both of their parts while still displaying that they're still very messy humans who finally fuckin gave each other one of the damn hugs they both need.
These two are so adorable and damaged and so good for each other and they will eventually realize it enough to end up happy together. 💕💕
First, I’d like to thank everyone for reading and caring so damn much about Rinko and sending so many sweet messages in support of her while she was struggling so much. And for caring about both of them while they were both so damn miserable.
These two have BEEN THROUGH IT and unfortunately, we still have Shibuya coming 🙃
But, alas, here we are.
The rest will be under the cut!
You can read (Please) Prove Me Wrong on AO3 😊
And you can read the entire series: Another Level on AO3 as well! 💕
I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to do all of this, so we’re just gonna jump right in and try to do it by timeline 🙃
June/July
OOF. Alright, let’s fucking GET STARTED.
By this point, Gojo has been abroad for three weeks because he had a Special Grade job and he went to visit Yuuta afterward. He also knows that Rinko has been meeting with her father almost weekly for a few months, going on jobs for them in the private sector, but he doesn’t know the details of them.
Because she hasn’t told him.
Why does that matter? Why does he care? Because Rinko has never been this secretive with him before. Were this not so out of character for Rinko to do, he wouldn’t have cared. But they’ve always been so damn open with each other, that the sudden secrecy made him nervous. It pulled at his gut instinct that something was wrong. He didn’t even mind that she was keeping secrets, it was that she was trying to make it seem like she wasn’t.
Was he right in following her? No. And he knows he wasn’t. It was why he didn’t confront her to begin with, because he knew she would be mad and he knew she’d be right in being mad.
He also knew that she would likely think he’d followed her because he was jealous. But here’s the thing: he didn’t. Has he felt a bit jealous in the past? Absolutely. It’s human. But, especially since their little discussion back in Show Your Hand, he’s made a conscious effort to respect that boundary. You’ll notice that multiple times throughout (Please) Prove Me Wrong, he has the exact thought that he is well aware that they aren’t exclusive and Rinko can date whoever she wants, including Nanami. Even if he feels jealous, he is making a real effort to make sure that he doesn’t act on those feelings because he knows it wouldn’t be right or fair.
They weren’t fucking exclusive. They weren’t. Even if she and Nanami- it didn’t fucking matter. Because they weren’t exclusive. She’d lose her goddamn mind if she thought he was acting this way because of jealousy.
He wouldn’t fucking blame her for it, either. It would be fucking stupid of him.
So let’s take a step back and assess the situation we’re sitting in.
Gojo is getting off a plane after three weeks of traveling for a job and checking on Yuuta, he’s been on who the hell knows how many flights trying to get back, he misses Rinko, because he hasn’t seen her in three weeks, and he gets a call from Ijichi giving him some of the worst possible news.
Remember how upset Gojo was last year when the higher-ups threatened Yuuta? They just did exactly what he’d been afraid of them doing. Finding a way to take out a kid because they were afraid of what would happen if they let him live.
Let’s take another step back for that one.
The events leading up to this. Why is Yuuji Sukuna’s vessel? He ate a finger. Why did he eat a finger? Because Megumi was getting the shit beaten outta him by a few Grade 2 curses and Yuuji wanted to help. Why was Megumi getting the shit beaten outta him? Because Gojo gave him the damn job to test him.
See where I’m going with this?
Rinko already gave him an earful for it. And he knows she was right. This is, essentially, his fault.
If he hadn’t sent Megumi alone to retrieve Sukuna’s finger, Yuuji wouldn’t have eaten it, and this never would have happened. But, he knows that he can’t think that way because it doesn’t fix the situation, and he can hear Rinko in his damn head telling him that thinking that way will only make things worse. But he can’t help it. Because a kid is dead.
On top of all of that, Gojo felt okay being gone for so long because Rinko was around. He trusted her to help the kid if he needed anything and he thought that she’d handle anything if it went wrong. But she doesn’t. She isn’t even called.
At this point, Gojo did not suspect her, not really. He knew the higher-ups were assholes and that they’d pull stupid shit like not call Rinko for the job. But then, what does Gojo do? He warps back. He can’t from that airport, so he sits on the damn flight and immediately warps from the next. In Let’s Get Lost, we learned that Gojo can make long-distance warps to places he’s familiar with (like Rinko’s apartment 😏) but that it drains him. Rinko noted that she remembered how exhausted Gojo looked after her exam because he’d warped back to Kyoto after arguing with the higher-ups. These warps can knock him out. But, instead of sleeping, what does he do? He stays up all night to try to figure out who the fuck got Yuuji killed.
He’s exhausted, he’s warped long-distance, he’s been up for more than a day, and what does he find out? Not who’s behind everything, but he finds out that not only were Nanami and Rinko both available, but they were together. Oh, why should that matter if he’s not being a jealous prick? The only two Grade 1 sorcerers who weren’t specifically on other jobs just happen to be together when a potential Special Grade is located and literal kids are sent in to exorcise it instead.
Suspect.
On top of that, the Zenin clan makes up a portion of the council. We can assume that Naobito and Ogi are both members and so we will. Gakuganji is a lapdog for the council as well. And who just happens to have very close ties with both of those? Rinko. Who has been meeting frequently with Naobito and doing jobs for him. And so, the really puzzle begins to form in front of him.
And you could see it happening in the first chapter of his perspective:
If she’d been with Nanami to keep him busy while Yuuji fucking died.
While Gojo was too far away to even hope to make it back to save the kid.
If he’d made a mistake. If he’d trusted her only for her to betray him.
If he’d let himself fall for her.
He didn’t give a fuck if they were together under normal circumstances. But if it was to keep Nanami distracted or keep him from getting the call? It’s now an issue.
Alright, so he’s pissed off, he’s exhausted, he’s beginning to get suspicious, and wouldn’t ya know it? He gets a text from Rinko telling him she’s almost to Tokyo and she just saw the report. She’s not coming to Tokyo for a job, so why the fuck would she be on her way already? We learned in The Weight of Failure that she never just visits. She admits she’d never just visited him before, so why would he assume that’s what she was doing? She didn’t explicitly say that in the text because she didn’t feel the need because she doesn’t have a damn clue what’s going on, but it’s suspicious. She comes to his office and he tells her to leave for multiple reasons: he’s angry and he doesn’t want to end up yelling at her, he’s frustrated and exhausted and grieving, and he’s fucking confused. Normally, he would want her there because she comforts him, but after everything he’s learned in the past twelve or so hours, his sleep-deprived lil brain doesn’t know what to think.
Rinko then goes to see Shoko. And yes, they’re friends, that would make sense, wouldn’t it? Except when Shoko asks Rinko to stay in town for dinner, Rinko turns her down and leaves. We know that it’s because she feels empty and sad, but Gojo only knows that she went to see Shoko, where Yuuji’s body is, and then left. He doesn’t know anything other than that. So he continues digging even after Yuuji wakes up, deciding he’ll just find something that proves Rinko is innocent and then he’ll tell her about Yuuji.
But what happens next? Rinko gets promoted. To a Grade Rank that only the Zenin clan can get her. After she’s been meeting with them, after she wasn’t there when Yuuji died, after she’d likely been to verify the body. And again, that damn puzzle is fitting too well.
So now, Gojo is worried. Because he’s bought this woman a fucking ring because he’s realized he wants to spend the rest of his fucking life with her and now he’s terrified that he’s made a mistake because she knows so much about him. She knows so much about him and how to fight him, how to counter him.
While yes, he should have talked to her, he technically did. He called her. We didn’t see the call, but we know from both sides, the call didn’t go well.
Gojo was asking scattered questions because his brain was piecing things together and he needed answers; Rinko was ashamed and embarrassed about the deal, and also didn’t know most of the answers he needed.
And thus, their communication has really begun to crumble.
So he goes and he asks Utahime to investigate Kyoto instead of Rinko because now he can’t know for sure that it isn’t her. And then wouldn’t ya know it? Rinko is absent from Kyoto. Again, we know that it’s because she quit, but Gojo doesn’t and neither does Utahime.
Why didn’t Rinko tell Utahime? Because Rinko is avoiding everyone because she’s ashamed that she didn’t see the double-cross on her promotion coming. She’s angry at herself. And at this point, the only one who knows the extent of her deal, is Shoko. Why does Shoko know? Because she forced Rinko to tell her after Rinko calls her half-dead on the side of the road near the Zenin estate. We will get a look into that day through Shoko’s eyes in an upcoming installment.
And more pieces are clicking together.
Then, another cherry on top, Rinko knows he’s seen Yuuta, even though he never told anyone he was going, or had been, to see the kid. And because he’s already suspicious, it just adds to it. Oh, but why didn’t he just call Yuuta? Remember how he said he was beginning to not trust telling Yuuta sensitive information over the phone? He’s getting paranoid. And honestly? Rightfully so.
Oh, you’re probably wondering why Shoko didn’t tell Gojo about Rinko’s near death at Jinichi’s hands? Because Rinko made her promise not to. Rinko was ashamed and embarrassed and also didn’t want Gojo to start shit with the Zenin clan because she thought he was still upset over Yuuji’s death. And now, Shoko is stuck between two people who are keeping secrets from each other for the first time in years, who have both made her promise not to tell anyone.
Which is why she told Gojo to talk to Rinko.
August
By the time we get to August, we now know that he’s kept digging because he’s fucking hoping to find something that will prove Rinko is innocent, and - thanks to the Zenin clan - he isn’t. Because they planned for her promotion to cause a rift. But Yuuji’s death was just perfect to make it worse. He hasn’t seen Rinko since the day she asked how his visit was Yuuta was, and before that, he hadn’t seen her since the morning after Yuuji died. He misses her and he is still desperately hoping that everything he’s seeing isn’t right. BUT, because Shoko brought up Geto, he’s beginning to see similarities. Notice how his thoughts didn’t go to Geto at all before Shoko brought him up? He hadn’t made that connection. And now he’s even more distraught because he’s terrified that anyone who gets close to him will just betray him or he’ll lose them in some way. And remember how Geto died? Gojo had to kill him. So now in the back of his mind, he’s starting to wonder if he even could bring himself to do it. And he’s angry at himself because he realizes that he wouldn’t. He would likely let her kill him. And he’s trying to force himself to look past his feelings, his love for her, so that he’ll be able to protect people.
Like Nanami.
What was one of the first thoughts he had when Nanami told him Rinko had been there fighting Mahito? It’s a good thing Yuuji was there, because at least Nanami wasn’t alone with her and the Special Grade. And then he immediately scolds himself. Because Rinko wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t hurt Nanami. Not when she sees him like a brother.
Note: that Gojo knows how she views Nanami. He isn’t jealous at this point. He’s glad that the two have each other and it’s why he sent Nanami to Kyoto on the day of Geto’s Death Parade the year prior.
Anyway, where do his thoughts go from there? But Geto had been like Gojo’s brother. And he had been willing to hurt him. So, really anything is possible. And then his next thought? Shoko had put that damn idea in his head. Because he wouldn’t have connected Rinko to Geto were it not for Shoko saying something.
Because guess what guys, had he followed that line of ‘Rinko sees Nanami as a brother’ he’d likely have either called Rinko immediately, or gone to her apartment to just talk to her. Because that line of thought would have brought him back to what he knows about Rinko instead of comparing her to Geto.
Also, let’s note that because Nanami was so pissed that Gojo hadn’t told Rinko about Yuuji being alive, he didn’t mention that Mahito had destroyed her double and that was why she didn’t chase after him. Nanami forgot to tell him important information because he let his anger for his friend cloud his judgment just like Gojo was afraid he would. Because had Nanami said that her double had been destroyed and that the creepy fucker had said her soul was fragmented, Gojo would have immediately gone to check on her.
And then to make things even worse, Nanami assumes that Gojo is jealous.
And it, rightfully so, pisses Gojo off. Because he’s standing there, genuinely worried about Nanami’s safety and well-being, worried about Yuuji, and Nanami accuses him of being insecure and jealous. And he doesn’t believe Gojo when he tells him - honestly, by the way - he didn’t find out until after Yuuji was already dead and he was looking into everything surrounding peoples’ whereabouts. And when Gojo asks who planned that dinner? Rinko. But Nanami only thinks Gojo is jealous and paranoid.
And it makes things worse because of course Nanami would side with Rinko no matter what because he believes that someone he’s so close to would never hurt him. Again, thanks to Shoko for inserting Geto into that line of thought.
Because guess what guys, by now, Gojo has found out that one of the jobs Rinko went on was to get one of Sukuna’s fingers. Oh, joy. Now, she’s been on a highly dangerous job to get a Special Grade cursed object for the Zenin clan. Honestly, we have to give them some credit for being fucking master manipulators. And Gojo and Rinko for both being fucking stupid.
Because if Rinko had just told Gojo she was going to do a few jobs for the clan to try and get Maki a promotion, he’d have told her he thought it was dumb, but he wouldn’t have stopped her. And if Gojo had just talked to her as soon as his suspicion started, then she would have understood and they’d have figured it out. But alas, they didn’t because they’re both fucking stupid.
And then, Nanami tells him that Rinko will likely forgive Gojo but that he won’t deserve it, and GUESS WHAT, GUYS, we found part of the ROOT of the issue: Gojo knows that already.
In Gojo’s mind, Rinko is too good to be true. She’s put up with him, been there for him, comforted him and has been the only person in his entire life who didn’t expect him to be perfect. And she’s too damn good to be true because why would someone as wonderful as this stupid, infuriating, selfless, menace of a woman ever want anything to do with a selfish asshole like him?
Goodwill Event
The first thing Gojo notices about Rinko? She looks different. Her eyes are dull and she looks exhausted. And he hates that she talks down on herself.
What does he think next? He thinks about how selfless she is about his damn teaching job that he knows damn well Yaga tried to get her to accept so he could get rid of Gojo because he’s an objectively horrible teacher. And then he remembers her laugh. He remembers the day, back in the car, all the way back in Innate Issues, when she’d giggled as the twins and Megumi ganged up on him. And he fucking misses her. And he realizes, right there, that he’s fucking stupid because he’s fucking in love with this woman and he’d been refusing to talk to her and with the kind of person she was, she’d likely understand if he just asks her now.
But Rinko thinks he just sees a Zenin because of her own issues. So she ✨avoids✨ him like it’s an Olympic sport.
And guys, you’re not gonna like what I’m about to say: Gakuganji fucking saved the day by fucking with Rinko’s double. Because it cemented in Gojo’s mind that Rinko couldn’t be part of it. It triggered the protective part of our dumb lil boy’s mind and he went into Even Dumber Boy mode. Because he forgot that Rinko can’t fucking tell he’s not looking at her if his fucking face is right in her face because of the stupid blindfold. Which, he has kept because he wanted to believe in her. And really, he did. Because if he hadn’t believed in her, he wouldn’t have kept it.
So he panics and tells her to stay with Utahime, which is smart. Rinko acknowledges this. Because what did Utahime do as soon as they were in the veil? Activate her technique to give Rinko a boost. Just like Gojo wanted. Except Rinko is too worried about the kids, so she leaves her double to help Mai and Utahime and goes looking for Megumi and Maki.
At this point, Rinko has almost worked herself to death. Guess what, guys? That path is what leads her to the exact same fate as Yuzuki. She’d isolated herself out of shame, which is what Yuzuki partially did after finding out Naobito was married. She’s barely talking to anyone because she knows Nanami is going to meddle, Shoko is going to scold her, and Utahime is still at Kyoto Tech, which Rinko is avoiding. So, she’s isolated, she’s angry at herself, and she’s fucking breaking.
She’s going on every job she can get her hands on to try and put that damned Special Grade 1 status to good use and make a good difference. And she’s taking dangerous jobs to keep others from having to do them. She hasn’t seen the kids because she’s avoiding them because Megumi was upset and she doesn’t want to push him before he is ready to talk. And realistically, she’s hurt and she doesn’t want to be and that makes her angry. Rinko’s got a lot of emotions swirling through her.
And I’ll tell you a behind-the-scenes secret, Rinko has been spending at least one night a week at her mother’s grave when she’s not on a job.
She’s spiraling.
And, let’s not just blame Gojo for not talking to Rinko. Rinko also didn’t reach out to explain what she knew had to have upset him. Because logically, she knew that if she explained what she’d done, he would understand. But she’s too prideful to admit that she’d fucked up.
Gakuganji wasn’t wrong when he said that Rinko wasn’t going to live much longer if she kept going down the path she was on. The fucker is an asshole, but he genuinely doesn’t want to see her dead. Which is why he swallowed his pride and hatred for Gojo to tell him what he knew. Everything he knew. Because he could tell that the two weren’t talking but Gakuganji was key because he knew the catalyst.
Guess what, guys, Gakuganji always planned to tell Gojo what the fuck was going on at the event. He went in planning to tell him. Because while he doesn’t give a shit about Yuuji, or Sukuna’s Vessel, or Gojo, he does give a shit about Rinko. He didn’t think her double being stabbed would hurt her, and he had no clue that the event would be attacked. So, in his eyes, it was harmless. Going in, Gakuganji did know that when something happened to Rinko, Gojo would get upset and confront him about it.
And so, after Gojo is done interrogating him about that, Gakuganji tells him everything he knows about Rinko’s situation because, as he says, he thinks she’s a foolish girl, but he doesn’t want her to die:
“I think Kurisaki is a fool,” Gakuganji cut him off, flinching slightly when Gojo snarled. “But I don’t want to see her dead. I don’t. And I assumed that when she didn’t sit next to you today, her promotion did what the clan wanted. She- can take care of herself for the most part. But- if she lets her temper control her like she did when she was a teenager- she- she won’t live much longer.”
Rinko notes that Gakuganji has been more of a father to her than her own, even though it was for Naobito. And he does care for her. Remember how proud he was when she made Grade 1? And how badly he wanted her to try to get Special Grade 1? Because he wants her to be successful. And while he hates Gojo, he knows that he will keep her safe from real danger. Remember, Gakuganji pressed that button for her cursed energy as soon as he realized that bad shit was going down.
So, now Gojo has the right pieces for his puzzle, which he’d mostly already deduced at this point. And he’s angry. At the Zenin clan, and at himself for not knowing better.
So what does he do? He loses his temper.
And he launches Hollow Purple at the Special Grade cursed spirit that he knows is very close to two students because, in his mind, it’s a decent substitute for going and doing what he knows would start an actual clan war.
But, as we know, everything that could go wrong with no one dying goes wrong. And he comes to his senses just in time to see Hollow Purple slam into Rinko because she was saving Yuuji’s life because he was an idiot again. And now, he thinks that this is it. He’s done more than enough fucking damage and she’ll never want to see him again because he has royally fucked up in every way he knows how.
Remember that he notes: They really were all bastards who fucking did nothing but let Rinko get caught in the crossfire. Gojo included.
So, at this point, he thinks that the best thing to do is let her push him away after he’s explained what he’s done because she deserves the truth. And then, once she tells him to fuck off, he will.
But she doesn’t tell him to fuck off. She tells him she needs time. And he gets impatient and jumpy and decides that he’s going to do something he’s never fucking done which is really apologize.
The Apology, the Fight, and the Panic Attacks
If you’ve read Rinko’s profile, you’ll know that her two favorite foods are sobayaki dan okonomiyaki and matcha and chocolate taiyaki.
Here’s a fun fact that isn’t explicitly stated anywhere in the series: She only eats matcha and chocolate taiyaki when she’s had a long day or she wants to treat herself. Her mother used to make it for her. Remember that flashback in Double-Edged Words? Most of the time, Rinko gets matcha and red bean taiyaki.
If you’ll briefly remember, in Part 3 of Innate Issues, Gojo specifically notes that the flavor Rinko got was different than what she normally got:
“That’s different,” he said, nodding towards her taiyaki. “Never seen you-”
“It’s been a long day,” she repeated, savoring the matcha and chocolate. “Wanted to treat myself.”
That was two years ago. But he remembered.
Not only that, he’d remembered that she asked for a particular beer somewhere and then he went to Hokkaido to get it. It is four hours from Tokyo to Hokkaido, by the way, guys. So he traveled a total of eight hours to get Rinko a beer because he knew she would appreciate the thought put into it. And she does.
Then, because he’s a dumb, messy lil human who is afraid of rejection for one of the first times in his entire life. He fucking chugs part of that damn beer. Remember the last time he drank? When Rinko wasn’t talking to him.
Gojo drank that time way back in Hollow Echoes because he was afraid of her rejecting him. Because he knew he shouldn’t have taken his anger out on her and he knew she was partially right in ignoring him.
So, when Gojo is afraid that Rinko is really going to see him the way he, and literally everyone else, sees him, he drinks so he doesn’t have to know what’s happening.
And because he’s a lil lightweight, it fucks him up and he stops thinking clearly so that by the time he’s actually apologized, he’s drunk and without his brain working properly, jealousy starts to actually win out. What was he gonna say when she cut him off? He was going to end up fucking telling her he loved her. And it’s a really fucking good thing she cut him off because she would have kicked him out and never spoken to him again. Because she wouldn’t have believed him.
Why? Why wouldn’t she believe him? Because she was angry too. And Rinko was letting her anger and her bitterness around everything that’s been happening, not just with Gojo, fuel her as she argued with him. And the only area Rinko gives him absolutely zero tolerance in is jealousy and she would have thought he was only saying that he loved her because he was jealous. And that would have been the last straw for her, truly. Because in her mind, that would have been the ultimate lie. She already felt like he was lying when he said he cared about her because of how angry she was, just imagine if this idiot had told her he loved her.
Spoiler: It wouldn’t have gone well.
It’s why Gojo fucking knows he can’t ask her to marry him yet. Because she doesn’t believe he could ever be serious about her and he knows it’s his own damn fault. A lot of comments joked that he bought the ring before asking her on a real date, and you’ve got a point. But I’ve said before, Gojo knows the biggest obstacle is just convincing Rinko that he’s serious. This apology was the first step.
Not so fun fact: Gojo was also having a panic attack when he was trying to calm Rinko down. It was why he couldn’t let go. Because she was the only thing that would make it better for him. And his body refused to let go of the only thing that made him feel safe. His chest feeling tight and feeling like he couldn’t breathe either? Yeah, our boy was having a fucking panic attack because he sobered up just in time to see the woman he knew he didn’t deserve, but had still chosen him time and time again, quite literally slipping away.
If Gojo had left before her panic attack, he would have never gone back because he would have believed that she would be better off without him in her life directly. He still would have protected her, and he’d have made it very clear to the Zenin clan that if they touched her again, he’d kill them, but he’d have left her alone.
But he didn’t and she let him stay after she’d calmed down and he felt that hope build again because he needed to. And things aren’t just completely better, but Rinko needed to let that shit out because it wasn’t just the shit with Gojo that she let out with that panic attack. It was the past few months.
Remember what I said about her panic attack in Show Your Hand? She feels safe enough with Gojo to let herself break. She’d been forcing herself to keep going, patching herself back up and pushing herself forward as she broke because she couldn’t let herself break. But with him, when he was holding her her body just knew it could let go and it did. Her body knew she was safe in his arms and so she broke down like she’d needed to for months.
Idk if this even makes sense anymore, but this was a huge turning point for both of them. Rinko is going to make some big strides in her own emotional development because of this. And I’m really excited for you guys to see that. Also, Gojo will keep growing, too. But he’s still gonna be a lil horny boy for Rinko because now he knows he loves her and she’s giving him the chance to really show her that he does. So he’s gonna be horny.
THE LAST THING I WILL SAY:
A lil secret: Gojo realized that Rinko wouldn’t have put up with him for this long if she didn’t feel the same way. Not long after she stayed with him in Silence Louder Than Words and he realized he loved her, he realized that she wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t love him too. But, he’s also realized that because she’s never said anything, and because he knows how aware she is of emotions: that she has likely just accepted that he will never love her back. And it fucking breaks his heart. And it’s why his mind was so quick to tell him to let her go. Because he knows she deserves better than someone she believes will never love her back. But she chooses him anyway and he means it when he says he’ll make this chance fucking count.
So yeah, these two lil idiot humans are so fucking messy and so in love and they’re gonna be okay.
