genuinely super happy about all the suggestions so far!! here’s the protag again. once that poll’s time is out, I’ll be working on the next update. so thank you!!!
seen from United States
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genuinely super happy about all the suggestions so far!! here’s the protag again. once that poll’s time is out, I’ll be working on the next update. so thank you!!!
Some Thoughts About CiC
Particularly when it comes to Reader, Reader's relationship with Makima, and Reader's development. I just wrote a good bit of text in response to AO3 comments, and I feel the contents could make for a nice Tumblr post in case the readers who don't check out other people's comments on CiC care.
More under the cut! (No spoilers if you're caught up & have read the tags of the fic)
Note: This isn't meant as "calling out" anyone or anything! Just take it as nice little bonus info that I think might be interesting to read as additional material.
Should I copy some contents from AO3 comment responses into such posts more often? Feels like Tumblr-only followers miss out otherwise...
On Reader being complex but still not an OC & Reader's development:
Who says a reader-insert can't be complex, right? Well, okay; I know that you can't really flesh out a reader-insert too much without creating friction with the readers who're supposed to see themselves in the reader-insert. That's just how this genre works (admittedly, I've never written a reader-insert before, though). But it's not that uncommon to give a reader-insert one (or a few) defining traits and tag them as such. Like female reader, submissive reader, etc. etc. etc. - which made me figure, I'd go for a female reader with decision fatigue. Seemed like something that's prevalent enough in people these days that it still works as being very relatable. The tricky thing (and somewhat of an experiment) is to work in the development. I mean, the readers who do self-insert (I know not all do) don't develop alongside Reader, and they don't have to. So, Reader moves away a little from the readers... though, I'm thinking that maybe this still works in a sense of placing oneself into Reader's head and "feeling" her development. Maybe that helps to be a bit inspiring or motivating, making it easier to deal with life even when there's no convenient Control Devil to put one on a leash?
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On Reader's initial self/starting point:
Reader is a pretty peculiar character, which makes her fun and interesting to delve into and explore. Even Makima gets stumped. A big part of the appeal of this fic for me as writer is to confront Makima with someone who theoretically should be easy to deal with, but who's actually giving her trouble because of that. [...] Reader's decision fatigue is her core trait and driving motivation (for the initial attachment to Makima, the start of the pet relationship, etc.), so that's one of the most important things to portray.
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On Makima fostering & trying to force Reader's "want":
That's an interesting point that isn't as obvious (which is honestly my bad as a writer) - want isn't actually "unnecessary" even though it seems that way. The fact that want is unnecessary because Reader follows Makima regardless is the real issue that bothers Makima. It works "right now" because Reader goes along with Makima, no strings attached. But that's not something that can be counted on. Humans aren't static; Reader could for one reason or another stop her obedience at any point. Maybe even because someone else provides her with more comfort/security than Makima does, and that person tells Reader to cut off Makima. Reader wouldn't question that, and Makima would have no way to make Reader stay. No way besides her powers, to be specific. But using them on such a "useless" (in terms of what Reader provides for Makima's goals) basic human like Reader only to keep her subservient would be like admitting defeat, like Makima admitting to herself that she has 0 control over Reader, and that Reader has her own full autonomy (although Reader doesn't ruly realize this). Through this, it's as though Reader is above Makima rather than below her, and that's not an acceptable state. The core problem isn't that Reader doesn't want anything from Makima (that's something Makima could easily instrument), it's that Reader doesn't want. There's nothing for Makima to instrument when the base component isn't there. That's why Makima initially probes for whether wants do exist in some shape or form, just way subdued, and gets increasingly more irritated when all those attempts fail. Makima needs Reader to consciously want something (literally anything) to build from that, and gain the proper upper hand in the relationship. Effectively Makima is fighting a power struggle that Reader isn't even aware of, which is another (more hidden) facet of the "power imbalance" in this relationship. Again, my bad as a writer if I can't properly get that across… although I've more or less figured that would likely be the case. I'm not a professional author in the first place, and I lack experience, too; I can't really expect myself to nail the execution. That said, that's not a big problem in this fic (I think) because it works without that more subtle/hidden angle as well. This is a fic of power imbalance, where Makima is the one in the stronger position overall by nature, and where she is the dominant part of the relationship - that much is open enough that it's enjoyable for any reader. The other side of the power imbalance, hidden beneath that, is extra flavor that makes the relationship richer and is a shame if it doesn't come across well enough, but doesn't ruin the story either, I feel. Those are just my thoughts on this matter, though!
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On Reader's current self feeling like a dismissal of her earlier self:
I think this is a natural view of the change/development from a point of view that sees Reader's initial state as nothing but untypical - though that wasn't my intention as the writer. What I had in mind from the start was a reader-insert who's struggling with decision fatigue and who's been whittled down by that because it's something she'd been dealing with for most of her life. In that sense, it parallels various problems that adults face as a consequence of troubles in their childhood; though I didn't go into specifics intentionally to keep it more generally relatable. In that way, I think various types of people can relate to Reader's initial self and struggles - for example, depression can come close enough to feel familiar to what Reader is experiencing, although I didn't consciously write her as depressed. That's just one example, too; various people can probably find a part of themselves in how Reader expresses herself. That said, while this was my intention for the starting point - and the characterization - the other part of the concept was that Makima's influence - though generally considered manipulative, toxic, unhealthy etc. - is exactly what provides Reader with the stability and lack of burdens she craved, and that plus Makima's prodding pushing her to an "improvement" of her mental state. It's not like she'd change character entirely; her flat affect and numbness weren't entirely just related to her decision fatigue. But still, she does move away from her old self. So, the idea was to write a story in which someone functional but struggling finds their improvement in an unhealthy relationship because that's what I personally found really compelling. (And because, as someone who struggled with depression among other things myself, I thought it might also be a nice story to read for someone struggling with one thing or another - a message that things can get better, and that not everything has to feel like a chore forever.) Though, once more, that's just me explaining my intent. I don't think different interpretations of the story or character(s) are bad or wrong; a story exists to be interpreted. It's a shame that her change feels like dismissal of her original state to you - because I don't mean to imply that the original state is bad generally, or that someone who feels like that needs "fixing". For Reader it simply wasn't her true normal, but a messed up normal.
At the weekend I was thinking about Victor. And then I thought "wait, I know another character called Victor." And then I thought "wait, stein is German for stone." Then I did some googling and became very upset with you. ( :D :D :D )
In Grant Morrison's The Invisibles, there's one scene where anarchist assassin and Morrison lookalike King Mob gets captured by the authoritarian Outer Church. His captor threatens him with torture techniques taken from "Physical Interrogation Techniques" by Richard Krousher. A single panel of a scene with much more psychedelic events happening. A casual reader might think it's a made-up book, but no, it exists, a small book with a small print run from a publisher known for unusual material, written by the creator of the Leather Pride Flag under a pseudonym in what may be a stealth version of '120 Days in Sodom'. It's a reference so obscure that even Vertigo fans were unlikely to pick up on it (especially with the resources available in 1994 to find obscure books), and yet there it is, and I can only imagine that Morrison cited it specifically for their own amusement and gratification.
Suffice to say that I think it is the responsibility, or even blessing, of an artist to put innocuous little bits and puzzles and mentions that'll cause the reader to have a dawning realization when they connect all the dots.
The question, of course, is whether, given that Mary Shelley wrote the relevant book in 1818, Victor came up with that name on purpose. The answer is probably yes.
It’s a great thing that the movie says that Bowser is horrible at flirting and awkward at romance. Because that means that me being horrible at writing flirting and being awkward at writing romance will go completely unnoticed.
Flashpoint AU “Behind the Scenes” Commentary
Word Count: 8.6k
It’s the one year anniversary of posting the Flashpoint AU and there’s nobody holding me back so here’s a side-by-side commentary of that fic from start to finish
Spoilers abound from the get-go so if you have not read that fic yet, please do!
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The title “Flashpoint” already has a significant place in the Star Wars universe. That’s all I’m going to say about that for now 👀
The idea for the fic came from two things. The first was me watching the episodes with the flashbacks to Aq Vetina and thinking “You know, it would have been really interesting if they’d framed it as if the Mandalorian were the child but then revealed the rest of the flashback in the last episode where the camera shifts to follow the dad and we realize we’ve been thinking the whole time that Mando related to the kid because he was the kid but we were wrong oHHHHHHHHOHOHOOHO
And then the rest of the concept immediately slotted into place because I was sort of thinking of the The Flashpoint Paradox storyline from DC comics/movie as I was pitching the flashback switch to myself anyway, and I realized I had a new AU with a VERY interesting new protagonist, with a million ways that retold season could go. (The Flashpoint Paradox is really, really well done by the way. A lot of Mando’s characterization came from what we see of [spoiler character] in that story, and that character is also where I got the name for him.)
Knowing from the beginning what the big reveal was meant I could write his character with intention, knowing exactly what to say and not say to leave clues and hints that would slot everything into place at the end, even if you didn’t see it coming at first. The details I give you are worded very carefully so you WILL think I’ve just changed Din Djarin as a person and have a story in mind to go with him, but I tell you in the first paragraph that “This Mandalorian” moves more stiffly and handles the bounty more harshly, “as if he’s had an even harder life than the one we the audience have come to know.” I purposefully did not introduce him as “The Mandalorian” first. Everything after that, I can say he’s the Mandalorian because you know what character I’m referring to in this story, but I was always talking about this specific guy. Misdirect, baby!
Interestingly enough, I’d had the idea in the pile for a few years before I posted this story, and if I’m honest, I actually consider this fic an AU of the original idea, which was originally that Mando doesn’t go back to Nevarro at all and the entire season/show ends up being a completely different story altogether. To me, Tomás is much more selfish and independent, having not grown up with the Mandalorian culture woven into his bones since childhood. He came to it as an adult and sees the life of a Mandalorian as a means to an end. In that original universe, prioritizing the kid above being a ‘faithful’ Mandalorian (one who WOULD feel remorse and obligation to return to save the members of the covert too) is an immediate and easy decision to make. There’s no dilemma for him to have questions of faith over. Being a Mandalorian isn’t his entire identity. He adapted to the culture to learn how to fight and get revenge on those who destroyed his family and his life before, if he ever came across them, and now he’s going to use every one of those skill sets and the shadier things he’s learned over the years to protect this child.
Regardless of which version you go with though, one of the other constants was always that Tomás Djarin (and in my headcanon, most of the people in red on Aq Vetina) was a Disciple of the Whills. There’ll be more of that further down, but a big aspect of his personality was that he used to be a man of faith, but no longer is due to the tragedy he was dealt and the evil he’s seen in the galaxy ever since then. Some of that inspiration and characterization/demeanor comes from Baze Malbus from Rogue One, a Guardian who Chirrut says was “the most faithful of us all.” A Mandalorian with an already-broken faith carries himself differently than one who lives by a different creed in the present, here even more jaded, cynical, heartbroken, and depressed.
Tomás’s appearance/design, though I don’t mention it much, has undercurrents of red in most things (some of which you can see in the art I commissioned of him) as a reference to his past, and it’s meant to echo Mando’s canonical patchwork armor too.
MOVING ON!
Tomás’s conversation with the Armorer about the foundlings was another moment to drop some hints; “his voice is almost unrecognizable,” and he never says he was a foundling himself, instead asking after the children’s wellbeing (since he used to be a parent and is thinking of them from that perspective).
I do have to admit to a self-referential Easter egg I included for my own amusement: when the Armorer says the children will be happy to see Mando, it’s meant to imply that the game they play with Din in Geroya, or something of a similar nature, also happened with Tomás. The kids know who he is and look forward to seeing him when he comes back.
(Tbh if you want some more backstory characterization, Tomás is actually uncomfortable interacting closely with the kids of the covert and tends to keep his distance. He asks about them, provides for them, and watches from afar, but the proximity to them in person only reminds him of losing his own, and he usually stays out of the way and gently guides them to one of the other adults if they come up to him, asking for help or to be picked up. The Mandalorians of most coverts are wary of him at first when he joins their ranks because he seems to have an aversion to the kids, but once they realized that if you just put a kid into his arms and walk off without asking because you need someone to hold them for a minute and nobody else is around, he’ll automatically and reflexively shift how he stands and knows exactly how to hold them comfortably against his hip or shoulder and keep them calm until their guardian returns. He’s not standoffish because he dislikes them; he’s never recovered from losing his own and is afraid that forming too many attachments will result in his heart being broken again if something were to happen to them too.)
The moment the cradle opened to reveal Grogu, Tomás knew immediately that he was a child and that he would kill and/or die for the kid. Shooting IG before there was even a chance for the droid to raise a gun to the kid (or even just take the kid for himself) was automatic reflex. For him, that decision was instantaneous, and there wasn’t going to be a thing in the galaxy he’d let happen to this child.
Is it an unhealthy side-effect of grief and depression, how immediate his bond with/attachment to the kid is? Maybe, but he’s not going to examine that and he doesn’t care. That kid’s coming with him.
Kuiil does canonically say he worked in the gene fields which is why I thought he was the perfect choice to help Tomás craft the scrambler for the kid’s biometrics. Tomás had some of those skills to create the tech, but he and Kuiil together are what made the bracer work.
I love scary dangerous protective dad characters, it must be said. It’s about 👏 the dichotomy 👏👏
One of the clues I considered putting in but thought would give it away to soon was Tomás teaching Grogu Mando’a while on the ship together: Tomás was going to accidentally say “ba’buir” (grandparent) instead of “buir” (parent), hinting to the audience that he’s closer to the age a grandparent would be, rather than a parent
Another clue: “It’s as though he’d always been meant for this role, slotting seamlessly into place.”
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t going to have any of the episodes in between the bigger plot stay the same at all, but for some reason “The Prisoner” episode just ended up fitting so well.
It was the perfect chance to show other interesting AU deviations with the criminals
Got to include an Easter egg character from the art book with Malk’s brother
We didn’t get the mudhorn, so there still had to be a significant life-saving moment with Mando and Grogu
We get the barest hint of a close face reveal (which was also Tomás speedrunning some of Din’s character arc moments with the kid, having no issue removing it for someone he does already consider his family lol)
And it introduces the plot hook of Tomás researching what he can about the kid’s possible background of his own accord. Their story doesn’t end with this season
Xi’an’s change of behavior isn’t just that Tomás killed her brother sometime before this: she hates him because when he briefly joined their crew and she tried tried to entice him and get under his skin one way or another, Tomás shut that down REAL quick and when she got angry and started taking shots at him while also making comments to/about him he didn’t like, he made it clear that if she ever came near him like that again he’d gut her like a fish. He didn’t just lose his son on Aq Vetina.
He’s also responsible for Burg’s missing horn. Tomás is not as diplomatic as Din and didn’t care about what bridges he burned. He’s lethal, hard-hitting, and willing to cross more lines in order to survive and keep going, whereas Mando has a bit more honorable personal code reining in some of his decisions and responses (even if that temperament had to come with age)
One of the visuals I had in mind for this episode was actually a spite-fuelled choice that came from my dissatisfaction with one of the last episodes of the Moon Knight show where I think the creators screwed up with Harrow’s neat bloody shoe prints on white floors not being blood pouring from the inside of his sandals, messily dripping and smearing on the white floors behind him as he walked
What that means is that here, once Mando breaks free, he’s also sort of using the blood he’s losing as means of intimidation and instilling fear as he hunts, letting the criminals see where he’s already been and left a trail of blood as he reroutes them unseen in the dark and between flashes of the alarm lights, red hand prints streaking the walls and (unbeknownst to them) redirecting and trapping them exactly where he wants them as they try to escape
In case it wasn’t clear in the overview, he definitely killed all three of the other criminals besides Malk. To him, there’s no reason not to.
Mando taking his helmet off in the cockpit is thematically important here, sure, but the idea came from me realizing there’s no way Mandalorians really CAN see much of their body through the visor if they tilt their head down anyway lol
Another hint that Mando isn’t who you think he is is the detail about his hair going silver at the temples. Tomás is at least twenty years older than Din, if not more, which puts him close to sixty here. Din’s hair is still all dark.
It wasn’t until I started writing the paragraph of what the realistic fallout of Tomás going off the grid would be that I realized the covert WOULD still be on Nevarro. That whole sequence was where the story branched off from my original plan to keep Tomás’s story all his own, and the only reason it kept gaining momentum and became this story instead was because the domino effect of every action just kept getting more interesting, and then I thought about how much I wanted to write Gideon and then the ARMORER IDEA came to me and ?? I didn’t want to let this version of the story go. Even if it wasn’t the original plan, I knew it had potential to be good so I wanted to see it through to the end
The child’s red blanket mentioned in the scene where Tomás is scouring the ship for a specific book is one of Tomás’s sashes or part of his old robes. Even if he’s lost his faith as a Disciple, that part of his life is still something he treats with respect because it was a large part of his upbringing and background, and he still respects the people who follow the religion because he knows they are good people. He believes those forces in the universe exist, but he believes they don’t care about him and wouldn’t want his participation or reverence even if he offered it. My interpretation of the doctrine of the Whills is here
The Ring of Kafrene is the shady meetup location Cassian is introduced to us in towards the beginning of Rogue One
I think someone mentioned something about noticing me including elements from Andor in this fic, but the only thing I can think of might be the mention of the ISB. I didn’t get that from Andor though, it comes from The Bounty Hunter Code, a book about the Guild handbook and information around bounty hunting
Another reason I went with this version of the story where Mando goes back to Nevarro to save the covert specifically because there were still kids there and I already established that he cared about them too. If it were just older Mandalorians, I don’t think he would risk (or possibly care) as much if it were just them. His relationship with the Armorer was one that was expanded on for this ending to be closer to what Din and the Armorer have in canon, and hopefully it meant readers were more inclined to care about her as a result, which makes the gut punch later more effective. The Nevarro ending gave me the chance to have the Armorer’s forcible face reveal and the chance to write Moff Gideon’s evil villain monologue, which in turn ended up being the perfect means of exposition regarding Tomás and the reveal
Since I didn’t write out who all Mando and Karga go to pick up before storming the castle, I couldn’t do or say anything specific about them. For an example, I don’t know if Tomás ever met Cara Dune or if Cara is in a completely different place in this universe, and I didn’t want to close those avenues off for further stories by not leaving wiggle room here, and with how many primary cast members there already were in play, it was better to stay focused on the story threads I’d already written. Same goes for any other canonical people he’s met this season
That being said, I do have an idea for him meeting/taking the job on Fennec Shand, but it happens before she ends up on Tatooine and she’s alive at the end of it. I considered her as a possible recruit, but because I hadn’t written that encounter in earlier, I wasn’t just going to pull her in here at the end. Trying to go back through to insert it anywhere interrupted the flow of the pitch, and like I said, there’s enough characters already
Paz Vizsla ended up being the last named character to join Mando’s backup instead as the muscle, and his inclusion was already perfectly set up with the covert having remained there and me knowing for a fact he wouldn’t have left with the covert members who did escape if the Armorer was still there. He can hold his own in a fight and I don’t think it’s that far of a stretch to say he would be a good leader for the Mandalorians who stayed; his strict adherence to the code meant he would care about the Armorer and would also be the one available later in the firefight to act as her guard and shield because she’ll be unarmored, and he would also be the one who either had the most interpersonal sway and would be able to persuade the Armorer to come with him when it seemed like Tomás was going to bite it (so the ending hero fight remained between Tomás and Gideon), or he would be plenty strong/big enough to pick her up and/or force her to come with him if she refused
The scene with Mando and the kid as he flips through the books of the Whills was one I hadn’t even thought about until I started writing it, just needing for the kid to be awake once they got to Nevarro and somewhat aware of what was going on. All of the pieces for it to happen had already been laid out, and I’m very pleased with its place in the story and how it came together
The mention of Jedha is another tie to the Disciples of the Whills, of course, but Jedha was also a nexus of the Force much like Tython was, one that followers of the Whills made pilgrimages to (like we see in Rogue One), all of these details setting up a location Tomás might eventually go to at some point after this season. Din was raised from a young age with the Mandalorians and isn’t aware of anything having to do with the Force outside of what he’s told and what he’s seen with the kid (which makes sense, with the Empire destroying and wiping out any trace of Force users and information during their rule), but in this story I thought it would be interesting to explore the other avenues of connecting with or studying the Force that have already been established in Star Wars lore that weren’t about the Jedi (which was the direction I’d really wanted them to go in the show): Tomás is an adult and had a past as a follower, so he’s more knowledgeable (even if it’s not/not as much about the Jedi), all of which opens up different story opportunities for the future
Pyroducts are roofed tunnels naturally formed by lava flow. If the lava drains out, it leaves a cave behind, so I made these connect to the Mandalorians’ hideout beneath the city, explaining how some of the covert members survived and escaped with the kids. I used the same idea in The Exodus.
Paz saying “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your skin around here,” ties to my headcanon that Mandalorians view their armor as an extension of their physical body, so they’d obviously phrase it that way rather than “show your face around here” lol
Vizsla was also the perfect character to provoke conflict with Tomás that forces exposition out of both of them so it’s not boring to listen to and is tied to higher emotions that force characters to reveal things they normally wouldn’t. No therapytalk here lol. I can write Paz as mean as I want because his anger is justified and comes from a place of wanting to protect his community, and Tomás can be equally as vicious once Paz starts to push his buttons and dig at his past because Paz is aware of it and should know better. A big reason these two don’t get along is because they’re too much alike, they both care about their community and the Armorer and kids. It’s why Mando knew that mentioning a child would make Vizsla pause and at least listen. Seeing the kid has the same effect on Paz as it does to basically everyone else 😆
If Vizsla was a little more clear-headed here he would obviously have known the kid wasn’t the Moff’s, but he was still in Mando-parent-culture mindset where adopting a different species isn’t considered abnormal
I was glad there was a way to still include a parallel to Mando’s fight with Paz in the forge in canon. Not all AU parallels have to happen in the same order, and I think that keeps things fresh and makes the moments interesting when they do come up
Everything after this scene in the tunnels gave me no small amount of grief while I tried to write out a finale that was satisfying, well-paced, in-character, that wrapped up every story thread I introduced, and still had new elements that made for an interesting story even if you didn’t know the original story. I couldn’t pitch this entire different season (with a different main character) and end it the same way we saw in canon
Moff Gideon knew an armorsmith would either be the most likely person to be the leader of a group of Mandalorians, or would be considered important enough they would try to come after one if they were a hostage which was why she was targeted. It’s also him symbolically ripping away their armor and protection by taking the person who crafts that for them, the idea of making them feel more vulnerable even if the individuals themselves still have their armor (“For now.”). His modus operandi is psychological warfare— He doesn’t just have a problem with this specific group and their actions here. He's showing how he can and will destroy their culture too
IG and Kuiil needed to be back at the ship in order for IG to not be caught with the others in town and to know by the ambush outside of town that he was needed (and available) as backup, but also so that Kuiil would survive and be available to watch the kid and bring the ship to them. I needed to get everyone out of town at the end so nobody saw Moff Gideon’s inevitable survival, and it was the best way to give those in the firefight a means of escape because, with how they’re pinned down, there wouldn’t have been a good way out, and bombing Nevarro and ending the story in the rubble wasn’t an option.
I’ll be honest, I was stumped for a long time as to what the heroes’ actual plan was going to be. I don’t think it’s my best battle setup, but it was the only way I could think of to get people into the right positions with the right motivations so we got all of the plot twists set up for how they needed to happen. I’m hoping those make up for some of that weaker plotting.
One of the best things about doing this in a written format is I’m able to clue you in to an upcoming betrayal before it happens without telling you at all who it is yet, just by saying someone with “a familiar voice” is in contact with the Imperials and knows where the kid is
It’s a small thing, but I like the reversal of Mando and his crew escaping into the sewers from the hatch in the common house, here instead being them using the sewers as a means of breaking into the common house from the maintenance hatch
The paragraph where I mention Gideon’s entirely disinterested in what Karga has to say was my way of avoiding writing dialogue I couldn’t come up with lolol. Idk what Karga is negotiating (and it’s a performance between him and Gideon to stall for time until the Imperials grab the kid and the troopers ambush the covert members setting detonators around the square anyway) so I just stuck with Mando’s observations and setting the scene. Same thing happens later once they’re outside and Karga’s talking to Gideon again.
Cannot tell you how jazzed I was to write a monologue for Gideon. The one he gives in canon is already so good, and I really wanted him to still be just as intimidating and cerebral and able to dig into Tomás and break him down mentally with the exact thing that gets at his heart. The monologue he gives in canon is impatient without being rushed and it tells you just how irritated this guy is at having to waste time coming down here to take matters into his own hands. Here, the scout troopers don’t have the kid yet, and because Gideon knows their plan he has to wait for his own troopers to subdue the rest of the covert members so it’ll be an easier fight. He can afford to take his time and really dig the knife in, baiting Mando into acting rashly and not being on top of his game.
The sequence switching between Mando’s flashbacks and the present was tricky because I had to balance when you found out what information, but I also had to keep the tension up and give you the right visuals so you can feel Mando’s emotions, even though you can’t see them. I spent a lot of time swapping out the entire flashback as one piece with the scene happening in the present, until I realized I could thread them together to happen at the same time. I wanted it to feel like the way the flashback is delivered with that music in the show, and I wanted you to feel the dawning horror that something you may have considered a given from the beginning was never as it seemed.
The mention of Tomás using something like a quarterstaff was a reference to the Guardians of the Whills and how Chirrut fights with a staff in Rogue One. Tomás was never a Guardian, but I imagine that means of self-defense was commonly found in cultures with that religion. It’s also a roundabout reference to the phrase “swords to ploughshares,” which implies taking weapons of war and converting them into tools of creation for times of peace— Here it’s the opposite. He’s taken a broken garden spade and made it a weapon, this being the moment in time when an ordinarily peaceful man was broken to the point he became one who fought back, and took up a life learning how to fight offensively even more.
The sentence beginning with “But before he can pass into the next life…” was originally going to say “the longest night” or “the howling dark”; the first, though used in many places, brought up a bunch of stuff online about a specific book when searched, and the second I realized I got from Halo 3. Though I don’t mind occasionally using bits and pieces from other media, I try not to do it at climactic or important moments where all it will do is be a distraction.
I briefly considered having the Armorer be the one who saved Tomás on Aq Vetina, but again I think that distracts from the focus here on Tomás and his relationships with Din and Grogue since that’s what his backstory emphasizes and reveals, and I thought it would make his relationship with her throughout the rest of the finale feel like Tomás was saving her out of a sense of obligation or repayment, or because there was more to them that we hadn’t seen. Ultimately it was too distracting, and I already had enough other satisfying plot twists lined up so it didn’t bother me to nix it. I prefer what they have now.
Tomás did not consider Grogu a substitute for the child he lost, despite using Din’s chain-code as cover for him. It just happened to be one he knew was for a child and wasn’t in use, and that he would know the entirety of without having to falsify anything, should it ever come under scrutiny.
Gideon emphasized that the kid was to be handed over alive because he believed the Mandalorians were not above killing this power source just to keep him from having it, and he also believed they might do it out of a sense of mercy, giving the child a quick death rather than risk whatever they think Gideon might do to him, prolonged experimentation or torture or otherwise.
Kuiil being hit in the shoulder with the blaster shot was a nod to the scout troopers’ usual inaccuracy in shooting things, meaning he survives, especially since IG was there and able to defend him from the troopers coming up to finish the job. The shot that hit IG’s headplate was mentioned specifically because Kuiil in the show told Mando he reinforced where Mando had shot it as he reconstructed the droid, letting him survive here
Karga pulling Mando’s gun from his holster has two purposes; one, it calls back to him taking Mando’s gun in canon as they walk into town under the pretense of Mando being a prisoner, and it disarms Tomás of one of his primary weapons. Season 1 Din, with only two exceptions that can be interpreted as intentional, has a one shot, one kill pattern every time he draws. I wanted to keep some of that characteristic here with Tomás, but couldn’t have the ending fight over too quickly, so I had to keep him from being able to shoot the pistol. Him being in close quarters later keeps him from being able to really use the rifle as well.
I said it in my author’s note on AO3, but Karga isn’t the bad guy here. Though he betrays them, he, like Lando in Empire Strikes Back, feels an obligation and responsibility to the people in his city to keep them safe, and he cannot risk the lives of the many over the lives of the few, regardless of his personal connections to those few. Tomás’s actions may have inadvertently set up the circumstances that led to Moff Gideon holding the town hostage in exchange for his return, but Gideon is the one who forced Karga’s hand. Karga tells the Armorer in the epilogue that the Mandalorians had already lost two fights against the Imperials; he had no guarantee they would succeed this time even if he had told them, and if Moff Gideon discovered his deception he knew he’d wipe out the town as a result.
I remember having a MOMENT when I realized the domino effect of Mando never going back to the covert was that the Armorer was going to be captured and that Gideon was going to use her as leverage. As soon as I realized exactly what Moff Gideon would do in this scenario I had to stand up and pace around my apartment because I felt like I’d struck gold. Part of the reason I think it came to mind was that I think that’s what Moff Gideon should have done to Din in the Season 3 finale when he had him subdued with all of the other Mandalorians on the other side of the door frantically trying to get in. Tear off his helmet, then cut his head off. That would have been the ultimate power move and that’s what that villain would do. Like I said, psychological warfare.
This ending fight gave me no shortage of grief. I had to figure out where all of the key players were and how their involvement affected one another, felt necessary and significant to the plot/fight, and in some way wrapped up the arcs that needed to be wrapped up here, all in addition to getting the fight choreography and pacing right itself. I don’t like coincidences or contrivances getting people out of hairy situations: anything that happens has to be believable or set up/foreshadowed ahead of time. I wanted each of the named characters to have their own satisfying wrap up, and those wrap ups still had to be thematically relevant and cohesive, had to add to/support Mando’s story, but also somehow not feel distracting or like it pulled focus from him.
Oh and it also has to not feel like the fight itself is dragging on, or has the wrong amount of emphasis in the wrong place, but ALSO introduces new elements so it was fresh and not a direct rehash of canon. Yayyyy. I was having a ton of fun but oof
(Overall, I’d give myself a B on the grading scale for overall execution and cohesion. Not perfect, but acceptable. Done is better than nothing, and I was just spinning my wheels by going over it again and again. I figured there were enough A-grade moments filling out the other 90% of the story to still make it worthwhile.)
The plasma-thrower in Vizsla’s gauntlet comes from concept art in the art book
This really was the first time the Armorer’s helmet had been removed while being held hostage. Gideon made it a point for her to keep it on so the threat of losing it was ever-present, leveraging that against her, and because he knew doing it in front of the group with the intention of forcing them to see her broken down (and weaker in a fight because of it) would be a valuable tool in his arsenal against them
I intentionally kept the Armorer’s description vague for a few reasons: I think by now most people probably have their own ideas in mind and I didn’t want to break any illusions that would take people out of the story, and I actually don’t have a concrete idea in mind for her appearance myself. The only consistency when I write her is that she’s usually a mature/older woman and her appearance and bearing are regal and fierce regardless of her helmet (and here, regardless of her sorrow). Her stoicism in the face of adversity and tragedy is as much the only armor she has left right now as it is a means of keeping the covert’s morale and hope up. They can’t see her break or they might not survive the night, and if she’s still alive it means she can still fight, defend, and get revenge against those who harmed all of them.
Me not describing her appearance also retains an aspect of mystery for readers in this world. One of the things I can accomplish with this being a written format is that you only have what I give you, so even if the characters have seen her, you still don’t get to, whereas if this were the show, that would obviously be something we would see because that’s how it would have the impact there
Side note: Though I don’t have a specific race or ethnicity in mind, I think I do usually imagine her with a braid/braids. I think a good deal of female characters I write or come up with end up having braids of some kind in their design, that’s usually one of my artistic/writing tells lol
One of the original exchanges I had for the middle of the fight was:
“IG unit!” Mando roars. “Where’s the kid?!”
“The child is safe aboard the Razor Crest,” IG-11 responds.
Behind them a flurry of Darktroopers yell, and beyond the debris three of them are flung back to reveal the boy in the street, his hand outstretched.
“Correction,” IG-11 says. “He is no longer safe aboard the Razor Crest.”
I think it would have been funny, but the timing for when and how the kid showed up wouldn’t work so I had to let it go
How many stormtroopers are there, you ask? As many as there needs to be lol. The fewer numbers/concrete facts you say, the less people will try to keep track of those numbers and facts
I knew there wasn’t going to be a way to have the part two to the finale where Mando gets the jetpack and has the final fight with Gideon in the TIE fighter, so Gideon needed a different ‘big thing’ to happen or have on his side since this was all happening in one location. If this were the original season of the show, I would consider it too much to introduce the Darksaber right at the end, especially if it was an established piece of lore, but this story works more effectively if you HAVE seen the original season, so I don’t feel like including it comes out of nowhere. Tomás doesn’t know what it is, but we still get Vizsla and the Armorer’s thoughts when they see it so it’s not just being included as a sudden complication for Mando without being given acknowledgement for what it is. If anything, it sets up a nice new plot hook for Vizsla and/or the Armorer for the next ‘season.’ Makes this more of an ensemble set of stories happening concurrently, not just Mando’s.
I don’t like stories that give their main characters the easy way out of problems and it’s generally a good idea to lean into what would naturally make circumstances harder for them. The Darksaber gets rid of several heavy-hitting offensive elements in the Mandalorians’ arsenal including the E-WEB, Paz’s heavy-repeating rifle, and his plasma thrower. Gideon being a better swordsman here and having the Darksaber, and the Armorer being unarmored/injured, means I can leverage Vizsla’s size and emotions against him in close quarters. Gotta keep characters from being too OP, you know?
I’ve got to say I’m really satisfied with the visuals of having Mando fighting with the beskar rifle like a spear/staff. Both an allusion to Din using the beskar spear and Tomás fighting with something like a quarterstaff again. I would have loved to see Din have this fight in the show.
I really wanted the Armorer involved in the fight with Mando and Gideon in some way, her getting more of a satisfactory wrap-up against Gideon by Mando’s side, but I just could not find the right spot or way to work it in where it felt natural, didn’t feel like a deus ex machina moment, didn’t distract from Tomás and Gideon’s story, and wasn’t going to be the same move Mando just did in stepping between Gideon and them with the rifle. I think one of the ideas was for her to step in with her tools to fight Gideon or hand them off to Tomás for him to use once the rifle is destroyed, but I didn’t want it to feel forced or convenient, especially when I couldn’t give her any focus that would distract from the story between Tomás and Gideon and Tomás and the kid. It was giving me the vibe of the ending of Marvel’s animated What If…? Season 2 finale, if you know what I mean.
(Now I know you may be asking “Hound, couldn’t you have simply not had the side scenes of the Armorer getting her tools back at all?” To which I say yes, but I also really, really wanted for us to be able to see her fighting with her tools in this finale fight 😆It was one of those ‘darlings’ I wasn’t willing to kill for the sake of a tighter story. I really like her character and I really like that aspect of her character, and it felt like a small but satisfying enough wrap-up for some of those loose ends, and I was able to have a thematically relevant and interesting end credits/deleted scene as the epilogue between her and Karga.)
Having her get one last interaction with Tomás in the fight is still something I think could be done, I would just have to sit down and really work on threading it together better
As much as I’d like to have written out Gideon and Tomás’s final lines between them in the middle of the fight, I didn’t want to slow down the pacing of the narration for the sake of dialogue and tbh, I didn’t actually have anything specific in mind at the time 🤷♂️
Cutting the pulse rifle in half takes another benefit/offensive element away from the good guys and is another sacrifice for the story so I could keep a balance of give and take in this universe. The good guys still have to lose things so the stakes remain real. If I was going to have Kuiil live, and have Vizsla and the Armorer and other Mandos as big players in the ending fight, and have IG’s significant hero moment, and have the Darksaber and the plasma-thrower and the fight with the rifle as exciting new opportunities/visuals, I had to give up the jetpack, the fight with the TIE fighter, the rifle’s survival, the Armorer’s creed, IG-11’s longevity, Karga had to betray them, and the flashback had to show that child Din didn’t survive and wasn’t the main character at all. (And then I had to kick Tomás while he was down and really put him through the ringer so you didn’t have the guarantee that he would survive.) I don’t know how to do fix-it fics and I don’t promise happy endings for everything I write.
I was stumped for a good while as to what the equivalent of crashing Gideon’s TIE fighter would be. I needed something big/impressive that would appear to the heroes to have killed him, but that I could reasonably justify his survival with post-credits (hence appearing to drop a building on him).
(It might be cliché but I do imagine that post-credits scene being one of those “villain’s hand punches up through the rubble before closing in a fist, showing his survival and promise of revenge” kind of scenes lol)
Paz stopping the Armorer from trying to save Mando isn’t because he doesn’t care, it genuinely is because he can see the bigger picture and knows that she’s going to get herself killed without accomplishing anything. He doesn’t want to leave Mando, but there’s no way to get to him without just adding to the amount of fish being shot in the barrel
This final run was tricky to orchestrate. There had to be a way to get the kid into the bazaar without anybody purposefully bringing him before this (because that would make absolutely zero sense here), the kid had to do something that would save or help Mando one last time (like the kid does with the flametrooper in the common house in canon), Mando had to do something to save the kid and get to the Crest, none of the people onboard can interfere with the kid or be able to get to him, and IG still had to sacrifice himself and take out a majority of the remaining enemy forces. The force field isn’t ideal to me because it does feel like a last minute reveal, but it was the only thing that worked with everything that came before it and how it came together here, and it gives us the chance for Mando and IG to have their parting words too
(I will admit I kind of stole this move with the kid channeling some kind of defense while also holding the ship in place and keeping anybody from interfering from the end of X-Men 2 with Jean Grey 🤷♂️Sometimes a good plot moment is too good of a plot moment to pass up, y’know?)
(I think if I were to revise a little bit of the story to set the force field moment up better, I would have us see what looks like the kid forming and playing with small bubbles in some of the quieter scenes in between narration of what the other characters are doing. Either it doesn’t occur to Mando or the audience as anything, or he thinks maybe it’s the kid’s species that makes him capable of it, or it happens after the kid heals him so he’s already got the idea of him being Force-sensitive. Just Grogu practicing with smaller bubbles of different sizes puts the visual there for the audience to realize what it actually is at the end.)
I briefly considered IG-11’s last line to be “I have spoken,” echoing Kuiil and emphasizing that his choice was final, but I think the Season 3 episode where it gets overused as an out-of-place linguistics social cue for Mando to signal that he’s got, like, some kind of cultural in with the Ugnaughts really ruined the phrase for me. (“Hey I knew this one Ugnaught by name and he said this thing all the time, maybe you guy knew him too since you’re all the same species?” Cool Mando. Do all your friends of various matching ethnicities across the galaxy know each other too or what. You didn’t even know who Boba Fett was.)
I didn’t realize until this re-read of the story that I had to have been subconsciously influenced by the TAZ Balance arc when I wrote the visual/wording of the “arms outstretched” sequence. Hopefully if anybody else saw that they weren’t too distracted or taken out of the moment by the unintentional allusion
If you’re wondering why any of the adults allowed Grogu in with Tomás and the Armorer after he passes out, it’s because he kept insistently trying to go after Tomás like those pets that refuse to leave their owners when they’re being taken to the hospital or in an ambulance. Vizsla picked him up at one point to try to stop him from getting in the way or having to be in there, but Grogu bit him hard enough to draw blood and force him to let go 😆)
The phrasing “washes over him like a tide” is intentional; I use oceanic metaphors to refer to the Force in a lot of stories
This version of Tomás cares more about the creed than the original version (the one where the kid is his sole priority, at the expense of all others) which is why he protests the helmet’s removal, but it’s more on reflex than actual personal belief. I almost didn’t want to include that aspect in his character, but I figured the man who came back for his tribe and made a concerted effort to save everyone he could probably adheres to that tenet more closely than the original version I wrote, and to be honest this felt like the most natural and expected way for this story to end. I felt this conversation with the Armorer needed to happen face to face, and I know I’d have felt a little cheated if I were an audience member to get all the way to the end, only to not have a face reveal, especially when he is an entirely different person 😆I will say though that he doesn’t revere the helmet rule/ritual as stalwartly as Din does. If he were asked or compelled to give up his creed by removing it (especially if it were for the kid), he doesn’t have as much internal conflict about it. He’s more culture/lifestyle Mandalorian, less of a religious Mandalorian. He had already removed it for the kid anyway.
That being said, he does still feel sorrow at the Armorer’s oath being forcibly broken. It’s one thing to choose to walk a different path than what one was raised with. It’s another thing entirely for an enemy to physically and symbolically tear it away from you with the intention of devastating and killing you.
The use of the Armorer’s line “So this is the one whose safety deemed such destruction,” was really satisfying to me. My favorite AUs are the ones where specific visuals or details or lines are used in another context or with a different inflection or meaning behind the words
The Armorer having the Living Waters plot hook was another means of laying the ground for future story threads. It doesn’t mean Tomás won’t have his own.
Side note: I really, really like writing dialogue for the Armorer. She has such a good cadence and delivery and how she talks gives me a chance to phrase things more creatively than the way the other characters talk
This discussion at the end gave me the chance to voice one of my biggest gripes with how the writers framed Mando’s motivations in Season 2; the reason the kid needs a Jedi teacher isn’t just so he’s raised by somebody familiar with his background and who is capable of protecting him, it’s so he can be taught some of the only real self-defense techniques he’ll be capable of. The child doesn’t age the way humans do, nobody knows if he’ll even get much bigger than he is now, and it is very likely that he will be alone and hunted many, many times in his life. He needs to know how to protect himself, and any responsible guardian in Mando’s position would know that. The child doesn’t have a choice but to learn how to fight if he is to survive in a universe where he is constantly targeted for who he is and what he is capable of.
—
Epilogue commentary:
Karga and the Armorer both have similar roles as leaders of the people they’re a part of which is why I thought it’d be interesting to just have a scene with them. When I started writing this scene I didn’t actually know what would happen once she went to retrieve her tools, but her confronting Karga felt like it tied up some loose ends and showed some more depth to both characters, in addition to showing that Karga survives past the end of this story.
Karga’s telling the truth. Again it’s supposed to echo Lando’s call on Cloud City in Empire Strikes Back, Karga wishing he didn’t have to make this decision in the first place and feeling genuinely sorry for the Mandalorians. His mistake here was not believing that she would really let him live, which is why he draws on her while her back is turned. He got lucky that the Client gave him the beskar as payment because it and the Armorer’s honor are the only reasons he lives, just like how he survives his encounter with Mando in “The Sin” (where I believe Din intentionally shot him, knowing the beskar was there and that he’d survive). She’s not going to kill somebody unconscious and disarmed.
It wasn’t until after I was done writing this scene and it had been posted for months that I realized the similarity between her last line here and the last line Lara Croft gives Amanda in Tomb Raider: Legend. Whoops.
But! The phrasing of “every new day” was an intentional nod to the song in the show’s score, “A New Day.” I listened to it on repeat while writing the scene, wanting to have that feeling of tension there
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And that’s a wrap! If you made it all the way to the end without being bored you get a gold star ⭐️Jk but I do always appreciate when others read my work (especially if it’s an analysis of my own thing 😅) You’re always welcome to ask questions and I always like hearing when people realize something or catch the foreshadowing partway through reading 🥰
“Then why did you hang up Superboy’s picture?”
Cissie chewed the inside of her cheek then stretched out her long legs as she thought about her question. “I guess I just needed to feel like I had someone that understood me.”
Greta floated next to her. “Do you feel like he really understands you?”
How could he? How could anyone? Cissie shook her head. “No, Greta. I don’t think- ugh - can we talk about something else? I dunno, what’s it like being a ghost?”
“Boring,” Greta replied. “If you show yourself to people they get scared and run away, so you hide all day and have to sneak around. I hate it! I’d love to just be able to exist without people calling me a freak or… thinking I’m dangerous or evil. I know I'm not dangerous or evil! At least… I think I’m not,” said Greta and she darkened.
“I understand how all that feels at least,” muttered Cissie and then she looked at Greta and smiled, a small little thing. “We’re really sort of the same, y’know? We have to hide who we really are.”
“I wish we didn’t need to hide,” Greta replied.
“One day we won’t,” Cissie said and Greta looked at her.
“Do you really think that? I won’t have to hide one day?”
The Haunting of Cissie King-Jones Chapter Five "Hiding" Something something being a ghost being an allegory to the queer experience something something
Readers, Family, and Friends: Doozer, why did you choose to release your book for free or Pay What You Want on Ko-fi instead of publishing your book legitimately?
Me: Well, uh, see, my 'legitimately published' book currently costs $17.99 for a paperback, and for every sale, this is the print cost and my profit:
Me: So... basically, I don't want to ask people to spend that kind of money on a book they may not even like just to support me and my writing, and even if I did... their purchase doesn't actually support me all that much once the publishing platform takes their cut. So... I'd rather you all just download it for free and throw a buck or two my way if you find it super amazing. That way, we'll both be getting a better deal than if I published it 'legitimately,' you feel?
Chapter 5 today??? More likely than you think