Child Loss (Stillbirth) - Series 1/4 I never thought I could talk about this to so many people whom I've never met. But today I want to revisit and open that chapter of my life. Maybe this vulnerability of mine will resonate with some of you who have been through it too. I want to share with you how Grief of losing someone who never cried after I had given birth to her felt, how holding a baby who didn't suckle me gave me immense heart break, how seeing her tiny body wrapped in white cloth, adorned in beautiful aroma laying in her small coffin felt, how burying my baby who I long awaited for emptied me inside out. Noone really understands the grief of this loss except the mother. This series will also continue to share about how I overcame my Grief. How I came out of it. I know she wasn't someone I knew outside the womb, but she was very much part of me, she still is and will always be someone I grieved. I think of my first child Hafsa all the time but today I want to honour her and make space for her on my feed. In 2008 I was pregnant with my first child. I was 22. I prayed for a Girl and on my 4th month we were told she was a girl. I was overjoyed. I knew I wanted my best friend to by my oldest daughter. She was everything I hoped for even before I was married. I always wanted at least one daughter. We had her crib ready gifted from my SIL, my breastfeeding pillow passed down from my bhabi, my rocking chair as a gift from my parents, pairs of clothing and baby essentials ready for my Hospital bag. My moms side and husband's side threw me two baby showers. She was our first and she was celebrated. O adorned my hands with henna and wore beautiful clothes for those showers where so many of our friends and relatives came to celebrate with us. But you know what, ➡️ "We Plan and Allah plans." I felt her kicks, I listened to heart beat sounds and saw her move in the screen of ultrasound imaging. She was very much alive in my womb. She made me a mother before my boys uttered the word "mom". To be continued in part 2 . . #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #babylosssupport #torontomomblogger #torontomom #muslimmom #canadianmama #childlossawareness (at Toronto, Ontario) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVGNgaUAWvA/?utm_medium=tumblr
