Different Kind of Love Part 2
Summary: Remus adapts to suddenly having multiple people on his side.
Author’s Note: Curses, all of you learned the hack where you praise something enough that I'm inspired to make more of it.
Remus learned two things in the following days: Friends are weird and romance is gross.
Fortunately for that second one, Virgil and Logan were not a couple that engaged in a lot of PDA, so most of the time things were fine. It did cause him to avoid the two slightly more though, which really sucked. He wanted to hear all of Virgil’s opinions on The Epic Saga of Bryan and Stacy. But it couldn’t be helped. It’s not like he could ask them to stop talking about romance completely for his sake. But it was like realizing he was broken in the romance department made everything having to do with it ten times more awful.
Luckily, the first one of those things he learned wasn’t such a problem. Because yes, friends were weird, but not at all in a bad way. Patton was bright to the point of giving Remus a headache sometimes, but it also meant Remus never once doubted it when he gave him a hug and said he was glad to see him. Logan had a ton of weird science facts that were disturbing in just the right kind of way. Virgil and him clicked with a lot of interests, such as horror movies, Halloween, and all things creepy (though he agreed with Roman that Disney was better than Dreamworks, the traitor). And then there was Janus.
Remus fucking loved Janus. He was exactly the right kind of sarcastic asshole that made him so much fun to tease other people with, and he seemed to delight that Remus loved to do the same. He had a tendency to whack other people on the head with self care when they needed it, and Remus learned that he’d often done such for Roman, meaning he instantly gained a ton of respect points in Remus’ book. He knew how to be suave and charming to talk himself out of trouble, which would be very helpful in their future as world-renowned criminals. And, of course, he was incredibly hot, which was also a requirement for being a world-renowned criminal, Remus had just decided. (There was this move he had where he looked at you and leaned in and then smirked— let’s just say Remus was lucky he had yet to be on the receiving end of it.)
And Remus apparently wasn’t done finding things to love about Janus, because the closer he got, the more he found. And Janus was surprisingly easy to get close to— or maybe that was just him? Everyone else seemed to think it was weird.
Either way, they’d gotten pretty close pretty quickly. They’d developed a habit of Janus coming home with him and Roman, as long as he left by dinner so he never had to deal with their parents.
…Well, okay, they hadn’t explained it that way to Janus. But he was always gone by dinner.
“You know,” Janus mused, as Remus was going over the next plotline in The Epic Saga of Bryan and Stacy where he was going to introduce the zombie antichrist. “Have you ever considered making merch?”
Remus gave him a curious look. “You think people would buy it?”
“Your fanbase has thousands of people in it now,” Janus pointed out. “I’d be surprised if no one wanted any. You could always put out a poll to see.”
“Huh,” Remus said, considering the idea. It wasn’t a terrible one. He was pretty sure making quality merch was different than just drawing a good comic, but he could probably learn. And Logan was pretty decent at graphic design stuff, he might actually be able to help with shit like the website.
“Alright,” Remus said, shrugging. “I’ll think about it.”
“You know who to call when you want help pricing,” Janus said, leaning back casually against the wall.
“You’ll just price them too high,” Remus said, whacking Janus playfully on the arm.
“Excuse me? Is that implying that your work is not worth hundreds of dollars?”
“I mean, it’s just a dumb comic I draw in my freetime,” Remus muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
Janus whacked him on the head.
“Hey!” Remus called, glaring at him.
“I’m sorry, it just sounded like you called your comic dumb, and I can’t let that stand,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s still not worth hundreds of dollars,” Remus said, brushing past the real response that had come to mind— that how could it not be dumb, he was the one that made it.
“Hmm. Agree to disagree, then. It’s still worth more than you’re thinking, and I’m coming up with the pricing.”
“If I even decide to make merch,” Remus said.
“And if you do?” Janus said, giving him a look.
“Fine,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “If I do, you get to help with the pricing.”
“I suppose I’ll settle for that,” Janus said, giving a world-weary sigh.
Remus smacked him on the arm again, and Janus chuckled.
“Hey,” came a new voice, and they both glanced over to the door to see Roman sticking his head in the room. “Remus, I need your help with my algebra.”
That was the code they’d come up with for ‘Time’s up, you have to get Janus out of here now, Mom and Dad will be home soon’ if one of them ever happened to lose track of time.
“I thought you were supposed to be lightening up on the homework,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow at Roman.
“I am,” Roman said, crossing his arms. “I’m doing this and then I’m done for the day.”
“Alright,” Janus said, holding up his hands. He climbed off the bed and turned to face Remus. “See you tomorrow?”
“See you then,” Remus said, giving Janus an affectionate shoulder nudge as they headed out of the room. Remus waved to him as he headed towards his car, and then as soon as he had driven off Remus shut the door and turned to face Roman.
“Okay, how are you doing?” he asked.
“Trying not to panic, mostly,” Roman admitted, starting to shake his hands back and forth. He’d gotten a B on his chemistry test the other day, and their parents were bound to ask tonight, since they knew he’d had one this week. Roman couldn’t avoid mentioning it forever.
“Okay, okay, let’s think on this,” Remus said, moving towards him. “We already cleaned the house yesterday, which put them in a better mood, is there something else we can do that won’t make it obvious we’re trying to soften any kind of blow?”
“Well, it’s not like we can make dinner,” Roman said. “Neither of us know how to cook. I really haven’t gotten all my homework done—”
“Is anything due tomorrow or big enough that you need multiple days to finish it?”
“No,” Roman said, wincing.
“Then that’s off the table,” Remus said firmly. That was the boundary they’d established. Once dinner was over, no more homework unless it was major or urgent.
“Well I can’t think of anything else,” Roman said, biting his lip hard enough Remus started to worry he’d draw blood.
Remus sighed and moved to put his hands on Roman’s shoulders. “This might be it, Ro,” he said. “You might just have to tell them.”
Being on the same team as Roman again was bizarre. Remus was pretty sure it hadn’t happened since elementary school, it should not have come so naturally to them both. But here they were. Remus had been on the mission of ‘distracting from Roman’s slightly slipping grades’ since he’d started taking more time to breathe. His grades had really only dropped from A-pluses to B-pluses, but that was enough to get disapproval from their parents. And unfortunately, Remus could only get in trouble so many times before he was suspended.
Roman wrapped his arms around himself and took a shaky breath. “What are they gonna look like?” he asked nervously.
Remus winced. “Uh, kind of like they regret ever having you in the first place,” he admitted. Roman took a shaky breath and buried his hands in his hair, starting to pull.
“Hey, don’t do that,” Remus said, reaching forward and gently moving Roman’s hands down. “It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna be right here and all that shit.”
Roman made some kind of noise of acknowledgement.
“Hey,” Remus said. “I don’t know how much this helps, but most people still consider a B to be really good. Especially in chemistry. That stuff’s bullshit.”
Roman laughed a little. “Thanks, Re. I’m gonna be okay, I just…” he let out a shaky sigh.
“I get it,” Remus said. “Really. You do know they’re the ones being unreasonable, right?”
“More or less,” Roman said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Good enough,” Remus said. It wasn’t, but it would have to do for now.
Before either of them could say anything else, out front came the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, and both of them tensed.
“Okay,” Remus said. “Let’s do this. And then we can decompress in your room with The Office afterwards.”
“Oh, yes please, I’m going to need to laugh,” Roman muttered. They both headed upstairs to wait for their parents to call them down, which tended to take about a half an hour before dinner was made.
Today, however, Mom came up the stairs and poked her head into Roman’s room. She looked a little surprised when she saw them both together, but moved on a second later.
“Hey, grab your jackets you two, we figured we’d go out to dinner tonight.”
“Oh, really?” Roman asked. “Why?”
“Just for fun,” Mom said. “We haven’t been in awhile and your dad just got paid. Be down in ten minutes, okay?”
“Sure thing,” Roman called.
“And put on something more appropriate Remus, okay?” Mom said, giving his outfit a slightly disgusted once over.
She headed back out, and instantly all of the tension rushed out of Roman’s body. “They’re not going to ask about grades in public,” he muttered, sounding relieved.
“You okay?” Remus said, leaning against his side in a hope to provide some comfort.
“You think they’re gonna ask tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” Remus said.
Roman took a deep breath and shifted to sit upright. “Hey,” he said, turning to face Remus, his tone shifting as he did so. “I’m sorry I’ve been so useless lately. If you need help or something I can still try, okay?”
“That’s not you being useless,” Remus said, knocking his head gently against Roman’s. “Just you being stressed and having less spoons as a result. It’s all good.” He stood up and offered his hand out to Roman. “Let’s go eat too much food.”
Roman smiled a little. “Deal,” he said, and took Remus’ hand.
…
Remus had been unsure about joining the drama club at first, but Roman and Janus both loved it, and they were two very strong temptations, so eventually he gave in. Roman acted, obviously, and Janus did makeup. And it turned out Virgil also worked on the set, so Remus was pretty likely to have company he enjoyed.
He was much better at drawing than he was at any kind of makeup, though he was interested in learning. Janus offered to teach him, but that didn’t mean he’d be a ton of help this time around, so he decided on next semester. And it was too late for him to audition, so that ruled out acting, and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have wanted to anyway. He had no desire to be seen as the worst twin once again, as he told Virgil once they started working on the set together.
“Woah, dude,” Virgil said, giving him a look and turning from where they were painting the backdrop. “Who says you’re the worst twin?”
“Everyone?” Remus said with a shrug. “Teachers, relatives, our parents—”
“Your parents?”
“And I mean, you guys were only friends with Roman until recently, he’s obviously the favorite.”
“Uh, no, fuck that,” Virgil said, setting his paintbrush down. “That’s not how that works. We weren’t friends with you because we were stupid and didn’t realize how much you rule.”
Remus snorted. “Yeah, sure, thanks Virge.”
“Hey,” Virgil said, grabbing Remus’ arm. “I’m not kidding, moron. I don’t have a favorite twin. What kind of fucked up bullshit is that?”
Remus gave him a look, and it must have come across as disbelief, because Virgil stepped back, looking a little disturbed. “Dude, seriously, what the fuck. I’m serious. I don’t have a favorite twin.”
Remus furrowed his brow, giving that some thought. “Huh. Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Huh,” Remus said again. “Okay. Thanks, Virgil.”
“Why are you thanking me— dude, are you okay?”
“Oh definitely not,” Remus said, turning back to face the backdrop and finally starting to paint again. “I’m all kinds of fucked up. Don’t worry about it.”
“What do you mean don’t worry about it? You’re my friend. Of course I’m gonna worry about it.”
Remus shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I just mean, there’s not really anything you can do, so… don’t waste your time?”
That just resulted in Virgil frowning more, though, and Remus wasn’t sure why.
“Okay, fine,” Virgil said finally. “I’ll let it go for now because we’ve got stuff to do, but we’re gonna have future conversations about this bullshit. Prepare yourself.”
“Uh. Okay?” Remus said hesitantly, starting to paint again.
True to his word, Virgil didn’t revisit the topic again that night, but Remus didn’t doubt he’d be doing it in the future.
He was still surprised Virgil cared so much. Remus would have figured he had other things to think about, what with him dating Logan, and having other friends, and Remus being the worst twin— except, wait, he’d said he didn’t think that, hadn’t he?
God, that was bizarre. A part of him thought he hadn’t explained it right to Virgil or something, because he’d been the worst twin for as long as he could remember.
But other than that thoroughly strange interaction, drama club was surprisingly fun. Hanging out with Virgil was great, and sometimes Janus showed up to help them bug Roman. The three of them clicked surprisingly well, and it wasn’t long before Remus could consider them some of the most important people in his life. Granted, not that he had a ton of other options. The only other person who was part of that category was Roman. But Remus still adored it when the three of them hung out together.
Virgil thought Janus’ idea about merch was fantastic, which apparently meant it was happening now. He had helped Remus set up a good way to ask people what kind of things they’d want, and the most popular answers were T-shirts, bumper stickers, and coffee mugs. And well, if you could enjoy your coffee in a mug that had an image of a human and a zombie fucking on it, you were Remus’ kind of people. He was planning on launching the merch next month, he’d hopefully get a couple extra dollars out of it.
“You’re gonna get more than a couple dollars, moron,” Virgil said, nudging Remus in the side. “I vote you start saving for college.”
“How much do you think I’m going to get?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.
“When I’m done with the pricing? At least a couple thousand,” Janus said casually, looking over the sketches Remus had made.
Remus gave him a look, and Janus sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” he said. “But you’re going to get at least a couple hundred. Saving some of it somewhere isn’t a terrible idea.”
“I don’t even know if I’m going to college,” Remus said with a shrug. “The only thing I’m decent at is drawing, and I don’t want to try and make a living off my hobbies. I’ll just work in retail to survive my whole life like the miserable failure I am.”
“Hey,” Virgil said, smacking him on the arm. “No. Bad. We’re not doing self depreciation in this Chili’s tonight.”
“Agreed,” Janus said. “It’s bad for your self esteem.”
“What self esteem,” Remus deadpanned.
“The self esteem we’re going to build for you out of compliments and merchandise,” Janus said, patting Remus on the shoulder. “Besides, it’s a blatantly false statement. Do you know how many people can keep up with Logan in regards to chemistry? It’s not a large number.”
“Eh, Roman’s better at that class than I am,” Remus said, waving his hand dismissively.
“Not since he’s stopped running himself into the ground he’s not,” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not saying Roman’s not freaking smart, but he’s not better than you at everything. You know that’s just kind of not how people work, right? Everyone’s smart in different ways. I couldn’t draw a whole comic the way you do.”
“Hmm,” Remus considered that for a moment. “Fair enough, I guess. I don’t think that solves the problem of not knowing how I want to make money, though.”
Virgil snorted. “Fair enough,” he said, and they refocused on the merchandise sketches.
So… yeah. Remus kind of loved them both. He wasn’t sure why they both insisted so much on complimenting him and not letting him insult himself, but it was kind of… nice? It felt good, anyway. And it was fun to compliment them back and watch them get flustered for a change.
Or, well. Watch Virgil get flustered. Janus just agreed with everything you said with that fucking smirk on his face.
Remus was right. Being on the other side of it was not something he was prepared for.
…
Roman was freaking out about telling their parents about his grades again, so in order to hopefully be helpful, Remus let him hang out with Janus and him after school. Roman and Janus were both dramatic bitches that reveled in said drama, and so they worked off each other well. Remus could easily see why they became friends in the first place.
The two of them found delight in making fun of people. Roman felt bad doing it to people’s faces, but he still loved doing it as long as they wouldn’t get hurt, so Janus was a crucial relationship of his. And Remus enjoyed making fun of people just as much, so he fit right in with their established dynamic.
Unfortunately, there was still an issue that came with the three of them getting along so well, and that was with the way that they were all reminded time existed— the front door opening and their mother calling Roman’s name.
Roman instantly went stiff as a board, and Remus scrambled quickly for his phone only to confirm what was already obvious, that Janus should have left fifteen minutes ago.
“Woah, what’s wrong?” Janus said, looking between them both. “Why did you both suddenly freeze?”
“Roman!” called their mother, sounding much more angry.
Roman was starting to shake, and Remus grabbed his hand, trying to figure out what else he could possibly do.
“Roman?” Janus asked, looking more concerned.
“Roman!” called their mother. “We need to have a talk!”
Well, that sounded delightful. Remus had a couple guesses as to what she could be talking about, and he also knew Roman was in no place to talk about it.
He looked over at Janus. “Uh,” he said. “How do you feel about staying for dinner?”
Janus stared at him. “What?”
“We’re in here, Mom!” Remus called before she could tell again, and his door opened a second later.
She definitely looked angry about something, but it faded the second she saw Janus. “Who’s this?”
“Friend from school,” Remus said as smoothly as he could manage, moving forward so he could keep squeezing Roman’s hand behind his back but Mom couldn’t see. “I was wondering if he could stay for dinner?”
Mom crossed her arms and frowned at them both in turn. “You both brought a friend over without telling us?”
“He’s my friend,” Remus said instantly. “It was my idea. Sorry, I should have run it by you.”
Mom looked again at Janus, and she finally seemed to catch up with the situation, because she sighed and ended in a smile.
“It’s alright,” she said. “Just let me know next time so I can plan ahead, okay? It’s lovely to meet you…” she trailed off, looking at Janus.
“Janus,” Janus said, slipping into, ‘charmed guest who doesn’t see anything wrong’ mode fast enough that it almost gave Remus whiplash. “Sorry for the unexpected intrusion.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Mom said. “I just hope you’re alright with burgers for dinner. We were planning on grilling.”
“That sounds lovely,” Janus said pleasantly. “Do you need help?”
“Not at all. We’ll call you when dinner is ready, alright?”
“Sounds great,” Janus said, and thankfully after that, she headed out to start dinner.
The shift in tone was immediate. Janus’ gaze shifted to concern again, and Roman flopped back against Remus and buried his head in his hands.
“S’okay, Ro,” Remus said, hugging him to his chest. “You’re okay.”
“Are you okay?” Janus asked. “What was that?”
“She must have found out about the test I bombed,” Roman whispered. “I can’t think of another reason she’d be angry at me.”
“You bombed a test?” Janus asked in surprise.
“He got an 87,” Remus said. “But Mom and Dad are Mom and Dad.”
“She’s mad because you got an 87 percent?” Janus asked, his eyebrows shooting up.
“It’s worse than my usual grades,” Roman muttered, sitting up and looking away.
“It’s— hang on,” Janus said, shifting to face them both more directly. “Is this why you were making yourself sick trying to get all your work done?”
“Yep,” Remus said, as Roman crossed his arms and looked uncomfortable.
Janus took a deep breath, looking like he was trying to process all of this and only sort of succeeding.
“Okay,” he said finally, sounding very unhappy with the situation. “How long have they been putting that kind of pressure on you?”
“What year is it?” Remus grumbled.
Janus didn’t seem to be a fan of that response, and Roman finally seemed to shake off his panic and turn to face Janus.
“Hey, I’m fine. It’s just… Remus is more used to disappointing them than I am,” he said. “It’s just new, so it’s kind of harder. I’ll be okay.”
“That’s not— Roman, she called your name and you both froze,” Janus said. “You shouldn’t be scared of your parents. You…” he bit his lip. “Would it be… safe for you to tell them they’re putting this much pressure on you?”
Remus snorted. “Fuck if I know,” he said. “I’d rather not risk it.”
Janus didn’t seem to like that answer either, but he didn’t say anything else on it. Instead, he hesitantly brought up something that had happened in drama the other day, and the conversation shifted to that. Thankfully, everything got a little more lighthearted in the time before Mom called up the steps for dinner, and they headed downstairs.
Their parents reacted to Janus about how Remus expected for someone they only knew as his friend and not Roman’s too. All polite smiles, because priority one was guest, but an undercurrent of disapproval, because if he was Remus’ friend there had to be something wrong with him.
Remus wasn’t going to pretend it made his night, but if they knew he was Roman’s friend too Roman would be getting the exact same looks Remus was for not telling them a guest was coming for dinner.
Janus, thankfully, knew how to charm people. His parents couldn’t seem to find a single thing wrong with him throughout the dinner. He kept all the attention focused on him so neither of their parents could subtly glare at them, and casually invited Remus and Roman both over for dinner the following night in a way that seemed perfectly pleasant.
“Just to make up for my intrusion,” he said with an apologetic smile.
Remus found himself wondering by the end of dinner why Janus wasn’t acting alongside Roman.
But even though he seemed willing to keep it up, after dinner Janus got a call from his mother wondering why he was running so late. So at that point, he really had to go, and Remus waved off the apologetic glances he sent the way of him and Roman with a “See you at school tomorrow.”
Kind of like Remus had been expecting, the second the door closed both of their parents turned disapproving eyes on them.
“Remus,” Mom said, putting her hands on her hips. “Since when is it appropriate to invite people over without telling us first?”
“It was a spur of the moment thing,” Remus muttered, kicking at the ground with his shoe. “I thought he’d be gone by dinner.”
“Oh, so it’s okay because we wouldn’t have known about it?”
“I’m sorry,” Remus said, clenching his hands behind his back.
“That’s not even the biggest issue right now,” Dad said, stepping in. “Roman, we looked at your grades, what is happening with you? You’re not doing assignments, your grades are slipping, you got an 87 percent on that chemistry test? You said you had it handled!”
“You looked at my grades?” Roman asked weakly.
“You weren’t telling us what they were, what other choice did we have? Roman,” Dad said, stepping forward and crossing his arms. “All we want is for you to do well. What’s happening? Is something distracting you?”
His gaze flicked over to Remus, lasting just long enough that they could all be sure of what he meant.
“Nothing’s distracting me,” Roman said. He shoved his hands behind his back so his parents couldn’t see them shaking, but Remus was standing behind him. “I— I’m really trying, I just can’t get everything done and still have enough time to sleep or relax.”
“Roman, school should be a priority,” Mom said. “If you have to sacrifice a little free time to get things done—”
“It’s not a little free time, it’s all of it,” Remus cut in, stepping forward to try and draw the attention away from Roman. “He doesn’t have any time to do things he wants unless he prioritizes. He’s still passing his classes, he’s doing fine.”
“This does not concern you, young man,” Mom said, raising an eyebrow. “And you do not have a good standard for what counts as an acceptable grade.”
“I have a B average,” Remus said, because it was a stupid thing to say but he was trying to be stupid enough to draw attention.
“Remus,” Dad said, narrowing his eyes. “We are not talking about you right now. We have more important things to worry about.” He turned back to face Roman. “It’s never acceptable to push schoolwork aside. I think you need to give a serious look at what you’re valuing and how it’s going to affect your future.”
Remus could see Roman’s hands starting to shake more. He definitely was not in the mental space to have this conversation, and his parents seemed unwilling to let Remus have it for him. How else was he supposed to draw attention?
“He wasn’t sleeping,” Remus said weakly, though he could tell it didn’t really help when his parents just gave him a warning look and Roman was starting to look pale.
What was he supposed to do, he had to say something. But what was supposed to draw their attention and keep it?
“Look,” Mom started. “I understand not getting enough sleep sometimes can be difficult, but—”
“I’m aromantic!” Remus blurted, and three surprised gazes turned to face him.
“What?” Dad asked.
“I—” Well, now Remus was starting to shake. “Uh. I’m aromantic?”
“What the hell are you on about now?” Mom asked, sighing in frustration.
Roman was staring at him, but he still looked terrified, so Remus supposed he was doing this now.
“I uh— remember when Roman was doing that queer history project?” Remus said, trying to get the weakness out of his voice. “The one identity where you can’t fall in love?”
“Remus, don’t be ridiculous,” Mom said. “Everyone falls in love. This wasn’t even what you were talking about, why are you bringing this up?”
“Yeah, see, the thing is they don’t though,” Remus said, moving over more towards Roman and starting to inch them both slowly towards the steps. “Some people don’t fall in love, because… well, there isn’t really a reason, but they don’t do it. And I’m one of those people! Never even had a crush. Don’t think I ever will. So aromantic kinda describes me pretty well, and I think that’s what I’m gonna identify as from now on! Thanks for listening, so glad I got that off my chest, now if you’ll excuse us.”
At that point they’d reached the steps, and Remus turned and pushed Roman up them, hard enough that they could both start sprinting up the steps and towards their rooms, and ignore their parents calling after them.
“I’m calling Janus,” Remus said, grabbing his phone. “We’re gonna stay with him for the night if he’s okay with it.”
“Why did you do that?” Roman asked, whacking Remus on the arm. “That was a terrible idea!”
“Hey, it got us out of the room, didn’t it?”
“Re, you— don’t come out to Mom and Dad if you’re not ready just because I’m scared!” Roman exclaimed.
“Well, it’s a bit late for that,” Remus said, raising his arms in a shrug. “I’m calling Janus.”
Roman stopped talking long enough for Remus to ask Janus to turn around and pick them up and for Janus to agree, after which Remus hung the phone up and realized their parents still hadn’t come upstairs.
Roman gave him a curious look, and Remus shrugged again.
After a second, Roman sighed. “I really don’t like that you did that, Remus,” he said.
“It worked,” Remus pointed out, trying to ignore the way his stomach felt like it was curling in on itself.
“Don’t put yourself in danger for me,” Roman said, crossing his arms. “I don’t ever want you to do that.”
“I didn’t put myself in danger, I came out to our parents,” Remus protested weakly. “We’ve both done it before, for crying out loud!”
“That was different,” Roman said.
“How exactly was that different?”
“That isn’t… you’re not… you’re weren’t ashamed of it,” Roman said. “You weren’t ashamed of being gay.”
Remus looked away. “It’s fine,” he muttered.
“It’s not fine. Remus—”
Roman was cut off by a car horn honking outside, and Remus moved over to his window to see Janus’ car out front.
“We’ll talk about it later,” Remus said, grabbing Roman’s arm and starting to pull him towards the door. “Get ready to run past Mom and Dad.”
Roman did quiet down as they both headed out, but for some reason, when they went downstairs Mom and Dad weren’t there. They ran out and climbed in Janus’ car without any issues, and then drove away from their house with no complaint.
“You guys okay?” Janus asked.
“We’re fine,” Remus said, before Roman could say anything. “Just get us away so we can spend all night watching movies and avoiding our problems.”
“You got it,” Janus said, pulling away. And that was the last time Remus wanted to think about his parents for the night.
…
Remus decided Janus’ parents won in everything ever, because they walked in on all of them curled up on the couch the next morning and promptly said they all got to take a mental health day.
As a result, they all slept long into the day, and woke up to eat some food.
Remus managed to text Virgil what was going on and ask him to tell Patton and Logan, and then they all curled up in the living room again. They started another movie marathon, and made it through one movie before Janus decided he needed popcorn and headed into the other room to make some.
The second he was gone, Roman turned to Remus with an intensity Remus hadn’t been expecting.
“Okay,” he said. “Now we need to talk.”
“Uh. Do we?”
“Yes! I don’t want you to do stuff like coming out for my sake, Remus. That should have been something you did when you felt ready, if you ever did. Don’t… don’t do that for me.”
“You were freaking out,” Remus said, looking away. “I was just trying to help.”
“Did you forget the fact that we’re supposed to be in this together now?” Roman said, crossing his arms. “It’s not solely your job to make my life easier, it’s our collective job to make each other’s lives easier. And coming out when you’re not ready in order to draw attention off of me is the kind of thing that unfairly tips the balance.” Roman leaned forward and knocked his forehead against Remus.’ “Let me protect you too, Re.”
Remus didn’t know what to say to that. After a moment, he leaned back and shook his head. “You don’t have to care about me,” he said quietly.
“Stop it,” Roman said, whacking Remus half-seriously on the arm. “That’s not how this works anymore. We both watch each other’s backs, okay?”
Remus considered that for a minute. And apparently he considered it for too long, because eventually Roman asked, “Remus?” again, sounding more concerned.
Remus looked up at him. “Do you think I’m the worst twin?” he asked.
Roman winced, and looked down.
“It’s okay if you do,” Remus said quietly.
“No, it’s not,” Roman said, looking up quickly. “And I don’t. But—” he looked away again. “I… I did. For a really long time. And I didn’t start to see differently until you helped me. Because I suck.”
“You wish,” Remus said on instinct, and to his surprise Roman laughed a little, though it might have been more due to his being emotional already.
Remus leaned his head against Roman’s shoulder. “You don’t suck,” he said. “Dummy. I love you.”
“I do suck,” Roman mumbled, leaning against Remus too. “I was awful to you because I felt shitty.”
“So was I,” Remus pointed out. “We both had growing up to do.”
Roman sighed, but didn’t say anything to that. “You’re not the worst twin, Remus,” he said instead.
“Virgil and Janus say there isn’t a worst twin,” Remus said.
Roman slumped down further against the couch. “They’re wrong,” he mumbled.
Remus nudged at Roman until he sat up, and Roman turned to face him.
“You know Janus and Virgil also both have this thing about being nice to yourself,” Remus said. “When I’m with them I’m not allowed to say mean things about myself or deny a compliment they give me. And I’ve kind of started to try not being mean to myself even when I’m not with them.”
Roman looked skeptical. “And that helps?”
Remus shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt. It feels really good when I can kind of believe it.”
“Yeah and how easy is that?” Roman muttered.
“It’s not. But I think it might be worth it,” Remus said. “Eventually.”
He reached over and squeezed Roman tightly. “There’s not a worst twin, Roman,” he said. “You’re not worse than me.”
Roman sniffed and squeezed Remus back. “Fine,” he said. “Then you’re not supposed to make bigger sacrifices to help me.”
Remus huffed. “Touché,” he grumbled.
“I love you, Re,” Roman whispered.
“I love you too,” Remus said.
Roman sniffed again. “I… I believe you,” he whispered finally.
Remus smiled a little at him. “Good,” he said. “Me too.”
They both sat there in silence for a long minute, until finally Janus called loudly from the kitchen. “Wow, I’m so sorry guys, I forgot that popcorn totally takes almost fifteen minutes to make, especially when you’re standing on the far side of the kitchen and humming really loudly!”
“Thanks Janus,” Remus deadpanned. “We’re done.”
“Cool, cause I have popcorn,” Janus said, appearing in the doorway to the living room holding three large tubs of it.
He moved over to sit with them and set them on the coffee table in front of them, then turned to give them a serious look.
“I’m not going to start a super in depth conversation right now,” Janus said. “But I’m assuming your parents haven’t ever hit you, or done something you could be removed from their household for?”
Roman and Remus both shook their heads.
Janus sighed. “Okay,” he said. “Then for now I’ll just say you can always come here if you want to. And my moms and I will work on something, okay?”
Remus smiled at him. “Thanks, Janus,” he said quietly. Roman didn’t say anything.
Janus just nodded at them both and turned to start the movie.
…
They both went back home after dinner, and though Remus had been expecting it, it still wasn’t easy to walk in the front door and see their parents waiting for them at the kitchen table.
Neither of them looked happy, though other than that Remus didn’t have a clue what they were going to say.
He and Roman stopped at the entryway, and Janus was waiting outside just in case, which their parents seemed to pick up on when they left the door open.
Mom sighed and moved forward, already looking like she didn’t want to be having this conversation.
“Okay,” she said, stopping in front of them both as Dad came up behind her. “Your father and I had a talk last night.”
Neither Remus or Roman said anything. Roman was biting his lip.
After a second, Dad stepped forward. “Alright,” he said. “So I don’t think we realized how much pressure we were putting on you, Roman. If you’re not getting enough sleep, it… might be okay to let a couple of these things go.”
Remus’ eyes widened slightly. That was very much not what he expected to happen. Roman seemed pretty shocked too.
“So here’s what we’ve decided,” Mom said. “If you’re willing to work a little harder at get all of your grades back up to As, we won’t say anything about the rest.”
And serves Remus right for getting his hopes up. He narrowed his eyes, and was about to step forward when Roman put a hand out to stop him.
“No,” he said, turning to face their parents again. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
Remus blinked, somehow surprised for a second time.
“Roman,” Mom said, crossing her arms. “We’re giving a little here, you have to meet us halfway.”
“This isn’t a halfway thing,” Roman said, clenching his hands into fists to hide the way they were starting to shake again. “I’m not avoiding assignments for fun. I’m not doing ones that don’t matter as much because I was miserable and making myself sick trying to get it all done. I have a system worked out, and the grades I’m getting are the ones I’m getting under the new system. I’m getting enough sleep and I have time to do stuff I want and time to do stuff with friends. Those things are important too.”
“Roman, we’re not saying they’re not,” Dad said. “But you’re a student, and school should be your priority.”
“It is,” Roman said. “But I’m going to make myself a priority now too.” He turned to face Remus. “Come on. I want to see the next part of your comic.”
And, without giving either of their parents a chance to say anything, he took Remus’ hand and pulled them both past them, then up the steps towards their rooms.
They ended up inside Remus,’ and the second Roman closed the door he collapsed back against it.
“Oh my god that was so scary,” he whisper-yelled into his hands.
“Holy shit, Ro,” Remus said, gaping at him. “I didn’t know you had that in you.”
“I didn’t either,” Roman said, pushing his hands back through his hair. “I…” He buried his head in his hands and whined, then stood back up and started shaking his hands.
“Are you… okay?” Remus asked hesitantly.
“I will be,” Roman said, jumping up and down in place a couple times. “I just need a minute to get my nerves out. You should… you should text Janus, tell him he can go home.”
“Okay,” Remus said, pulling out his phone to do just that. After Janus gave him a thumbs up and they heard a car driving away outside, Remus turned back to face Roman.
“Hey,” he said. “You… I’m really proud of you,” he said.
Roman smiled at him, still shaking his hands. “Thanks. I think I’d be prouder of myself if I wasn’t so fucking terrified while I was doing it.”
“Are you kidding, that made it more badass!” Remus said, grinning at him. “Ro, that was awesome!”
“Thanks,” Roman said again, starting to pace back and forth. “Uh… pace with me?”
Remus laughed and joined Roman in the nerve-filled walk back and forth across the room.
It would take a little bit for him to get his nerves out, but that was okay. Remus would be right with him the whole time.
…
Remus had kind of expected his parents to bring up the whole ‘coming out as aromantic’ thing eventually, but he’d figured it would have happened at dinner, the only time of day they were all really forced to be together. Looking back, he wasn’t sure why he’d assumed that. They had to have seen the way he and Roman were backing each other up now. Why would they bring it up when Roman was around?
“Come in,” Remus called casually when there was a knock on his door, assuming it was Roman.
“Remus?” called Mom, and Remus looked up instantly, dropping his face into his usual neutral careless look he used when talking to his parents.
Both her and Dad walked into the room. They looked concerned, but Remus had known them long enough to know that look was fake.
“What?” Remus asked, looking back down towards his comic, continuing what he was sketching before.
“We wanted to talk to you about thinking you’re aromantic,” Mom said, and Remus tensed.
“I don’t think it,” he grumbled, trying to keep his focus on his comic. “I know it. That’s why I told you.”
“Remus, we’re not denying that some people might be aromantic,” Dad said. “But this just kind of came out of nowhere, and we didn’t get a chance to talk it through with you.”
“That’s because there’s nothing to talk through,” Remus said. “And if you want more information, look at Roman’s queer history project.”
“We just want to know what made you think this,” Mom said. “Before you’ve said you’re gay.”
“Still am,” Remus muttered, refusing to look up.
“So you have two sexualities,” Dad said, sounding skeptical.
“Sure, I guess so,” Remus said. “Look, I don’t know much about this either. Can you just do some research on your own?”
“You don’t know much about it?” Mom asked. “You said you are it.”
“Did you have a point in coming in here?” Remus asked, finally looking up. “Since when do you care about what I’m doing anyway?”
“Hey, watch your tone young man,” Mom said, crossing her arms. “We’re trying to understand what you’re telling us. It’s just new to us, so we’re trying to understand it.”
“I don’t know anything about it either,” Remus said. “It’s new to me too. I just know I’ve never had a crush, and that’s what the aromantic thing is apparently about, so that’s what I’m going with. I don’t want to think about it right now.”
“What do you call Janus, then?” Dad asked, raising an eyebrow, and Remus went still.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“He talked like you two were pretty close the other night, you’re telling me you two are just friends?”
“Yes,” Remus said firmly. “Just— I want to talk about this another time. I’m busy.”
“Hey, you don’t have to give us attitude,” Mom said. “We’re just trying to understand what you’re telling us—”
“Remus, oh my gosh,” Roman said, rushing into the room and grabbing Remus off the bed. “I need your help with something really important, it can’t wait a second longer!”
He pulled them both out towards his room, giving Remus just enough time to grab his sketchbook and follow him.
“Sorry,” Roman said once they got there, shutting and locking the door after them both. “You just didn’t look super ready to have that conversation.”
“I wasn’t,” Remus muttered, moving to sit on Roman’s bed. “Thanks for the save.”
Roman nodded, moving towards his desk.
“I’m ready for us to be able to have honest conversations with Mom and Dad that don’t end with us running away,” Remus said, resting his chin on his hand.
Roman gave a huff of laughter. “Me too,” he said, giving Remus a weak smile. “But for now we can sit in here.”
“Not objecting to that,” Remus said as Roman turned back around. “Hey, you’re not doing homework, are you?”
“I’m writing,” Roman said. “I have an idea I’m thinking about.”
“What’s the idea?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Uh, excuse you, don’t worry about it?” Remus asked, jumping up to go stand next to Roman’s shoulder. “I think you’re underestimating my annoyance skills again. What are you writing about Roman what are you writing about what are you writing about what are you writing—”
“Okay,” Roman said, shoving Remus’ head backwards. “Enough. I just didn’t think you’d be comfortable with it.”
“You didn’t think I’d be comfortable with something?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. “I would’ve thought that’d be something you have to deal with more than me.”
“Yeah, I just… I’m writing about an aro person,” Roman said.
Oh. Well then.
“I’m learning recently that they’re really underrepresented,” Roman said, rubbing the back of his neck. “And that’s… I don’t like that.”
Remus bit his lip and turned to perch himself on top of Roman’s desk. “Do you think they’re actually trying to understand?” he asked, glancing back towards his bedroom.
“I don’t know,” Roman said, following his gaze. “Either way, you’re not ready to talk about it. Which is fine.”
Remus sighed and pulled his feet up to rest them on Roman’s notebook, ignoring Roman wrinkling his nose at the action. “I want to stop talking about it now,” he said. “Cool story, though.”
“Thank you,” Roman said, clicking away to a new tab. “Now watch this analysis of Shrek’s cultural impact with me.”
“Oh, hell yeah,” Remus said, hopping up again as Roman moved over towards the bed.
…
Roman said something to their parents that apparently got them to back off. Remus wasn’t sure what it was. He supposed he should just be grateful the two of them decided not to add ‘arophobia’ to the list of things that made them awful.
He hadn’t loved what they’d said about Janus, though. It made him realize how close they were, and all the potential that was there for that to try to develop into something he didn’t want. He loved Janus, he really did. Just not like that. Was he getting too close to him for normal friends? Was Janus going to assume something? Was he going to be mad about the way that Remus loved him, or want it to be something else? Or worse, what if he already liked Remus… like that, and just assumed Remus liked him the same way? What if he was going to confess soon, and then get mad when Remus didn’t love him the way he was supposed to?
Or… what if he could prevent that? What if he just had to get over himself and tell him, and that would solve all of the problems? Or what if he didn’t do it in time and everything went to shit and he lost Janus? God, nothing could be worse than that.
So he had to tell him then. Great, decided. Now he just had to work up the courage to do it. Janus was still coming over after school, but he could never seem to force the words out of his mouth. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship and then have to watch Janus get up and storm out. But how else could he do it?
It took him a few days to come up with a solution, and he still didn’t love it. But he didn’t think he could reasonably force himself to do anything else, even if this particular one made him feel like a coward.
“Hey, Virgil?” Remus asked, setting his paintbrush down and turning to face him. He’d waited until they were painting a part of the set in a back room so they could at least have some privacy.
“Yeah?” Virgil asked, turning to face him. “What’s up?”
“Can I give you permission to tell Janus something for me as long as you promise to do it even if you hate me for it?”
“Woah, what?” Virgil asked, setting his own paintbrush down before turning towards him. “What are you talking about?”
“I just… I think I need to clarify something so that Janus doesn’t assume things and hate me for them but I don’t want him to hate me because I tell him so I don’t think I can say it to his face.”
“Remus,” Virgil said, narrowing his eyes in concern. “Why are you assuming Janus is going to hate you?”
“Well, because it’s weird, and I’m broken. Wait, no,” Remus shook his head, stopping himself before Virgil scolded him for being self deprecating. Besides, Roman had told him there was nothing wrong with it. “I’m not… broken,” he amended. “It’s just weird.”
“Okay,” Virgil said, sounding unsure. “Shoot.”
“Um,” Remus said. He swallowed and looked down at his hands, starting to fiddle with them. “I’m kind of aromantic?”
“Wait, that’s it?” Virgil asked in surprise.
Remus looked up. “What do you mean that’s it?”
“Well why do you think Janus is gonna care about that?” Virgil asked, sounding baffled.
“I— because I do,” Remus said, and Virgil’s face softened.
“Oh. Is this new for you?” he asked.
“Really new,” Remus muttered, looking away. “Just before I met you guys new.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Virgil said. “But I really think you can ease your mind on that point. Janus isn’t going to care if you’re aro. And no one’s gonna think it’s weird.”
“How are you so sure?” Remus asked, crossing his arms.
“Uh…” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. “I really can’t say.”
Remus blinked. “What?”
“Sorry. I’ll get back to you on that. But trust me when I say, Jan isn’t gonna care.”
“Uh. Okay?” Remus said, not sure what to make of that. He considered Virgil for another moment. “Do you care?” he asked after a moment.
“Why would I care?” Virgil asked, looking confused.
“I mean, you’re dating Logan.”
“What, I’m dating someone, so I have to be super mad when someone I have no interest in dating doesn’t want to date anyone?” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow.
“No, I just kind of… I don’t like… talking about romance stuff. It grosses me out. And you’re dating someone,” Remus said. “I just… isn’t it kind of unfair to ask you not to talk about him?”
“Remus,” Virgil said. “How often do we talk about Logan when we’re together?”
“Uh…”
“Exactly. Logan and I don’t like talking about our relationship in public anyway. I don’t need to mention it. I’m all good. You want me to let Logan know too?”
Remus nodded. “And you can explain about the aro part too. If you really don’t care.”
“I don’t, and I’ll let him know,” Virgil said, picking up his paintbrush again. “Was that all?”
“Can you still tell Janus for me? Actually just… could you tell everyone? Sorry, I know that’s a lot to ask, I just… I kind of want to not be asked about it and I don’t think I could actually make myself tell any of them. It was really hard to just tell you.”
“Of course,” Virgil said, looking genuine. “Don’t worry about it.”
Remus let out a breath and reached down to grab his paintbrush and go back to the set. “Thanks, Virgil.”
Virgil smiled at him. “Anytime.”
…
Janus never made any mention of Virgil telling him aside from coming up to him one morning at school, giving him a hug, and making a joke about how glad he was that he didn’t have to date him. Remus laughed, set at ease in more ways than one. And Logan just gave Remus a smile in science that afternoon and told him quietly that he was proud of him, and that stuff like this wasn’t easy. Remus was more touched than he’d expected to be. Thankfully Logan seemed to get that he didn’t want to talk about it and redirected the conversation towards what chemicals would cause explosions if mixed together.
After that, Remus assumed those interactions were finally going to be everything that happened relating to his identity for a long time, but to his surprise, after school, when he was about to go meet Janus so he could drive them all back home, he was approached by Patton of all people.
“Hi, Remus,” he said, and Remus glanced curiously over at him. He liked Patton, but the two of them didn’t really click as easily as he had with Janus and Virgil. He definitely couldn’t remember Patton ever approaching him.
“Can we talk for a minute?” Patton asked.
Remus stared at him. “Sure?”
Patton led them both outside and over to the side of the school, where there weren’t any other people around, giving Remus just enough time to wonder if he had secretly been a serial killer all this time.
Patton turned to face him, clutching his hands in front of him. “Virgil said you didn’t want to be asked anything about being aro,” Patton said, and Remus tensed. “So I won’t ask. I just wanted to tell you I’m proud of you. And, well… I am too,” Patton said, smiling nervously and pushing his glasses up his nose. “Aromantic, that is.”
Remus’ eyes widened. “Wait, really?”
Patton nodded. “Janus and Virgil know, but no one else does. I… well, I kind of got outed when my Mom saw my phone, and she… didn’t take it well. It makes it super hard to tell people.”
“Fuck,” Remus said, wincing. “I’m sorry, Pat.”
“Language,” Patton said, smiling in a way to show that he was okay. “And I’m alright. It was a while ago, Mom’s better about it now. It’s just… scary.”
“I get that,” Remus said, nodding. “Sometimes it still feels like it’s something wrong with me.”
“It isn’t,” Patton said. “But I also get feeling that way. I really just wanted to say that if you ever want to talk about it, you can with me.”
“I…” Remus said, not knowing what to say to that. He’d never even considered the idea that he’d find another person like him, much less already be friends with one. “Uh, thanks Patton.”
Patton smiled at him, and after a second it faded slightly into something warmer. “Wow, it’s uh, it’s nice to not be alone anymore.”
“Yeah,” Remus said, starting to grin, glad they were on the same wavelength. “I didn’t think I’d ever actually… you know!”
Patton nodded, starting to grin back. “I do know!” he said. “This is so cool!”
“It is!” Remus said, starting to bounce slightly in place. Patton did the same thing a second later, and then they were both just excitedly geeking out together.
“Hey,” came a familiar voice a second later, and Patton spun around as Remus spotted Janus over his shoulder. He was grinning in a way that meant he knew exactly what they were talking about.
“I’m not trying to put a damper on your fun, but we probably should get going soon. You want to come, Patton?”
“Sure,” Patton said, smiling at him. “Where are we going?”
“Back to my house today,” Janus said. “Roman and Remus are both staying over.”
“Slumber party! I’ll let my mom know,” Patton said, pulling out his phone.
“Go ahead and invite Logan and Virgil too, it’d be fun,” Janus said.
“Hell yeah, let’s all hang out at your place on a Wednesday night,” Remus said.
“I’m glad we agree that it’s a tremendous idea,” Janus said, as they all started towards his car.
Remus was still grinning by the time they made it there, thinking this was probably one of the best days he’d had in a long time. There were definitely plus sides to having people who loved and supported you.
So, as they all climbed into Janus’ car to head towards an impromptu sleepover, Remus found himself deciding to stick around for a long time yet.
