All fics can be found on my AO3 under the same username!
Logince
I’ll Be Home For Christmas (If Only In My Dreams) - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Logan is swamped with work and isn’t able to make it home in time for Christmas Eve.
Writing Prompt
summary: 20- “Come here.” 29- Brushing their hair out of their face. Requested by Poisonedapples.
Writing Prompt
Summary: 8- “You know I love your hugs but I have to leave so you need to let go”
(I Don’t Wanna Feel) Blue - (AO3 Link)
Summary: It’s been 3 weeks since they last spoke, but Roman isn’t upset. Nope. Not at all. Completely fine. (Maybe he’s a little upset.)
Oh No! (My Own Self Fulfilled Prophecy) - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Logan has always been there for Roman. Pining ensues. (Prequel to Blue.)
When The Storm Hits - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman’s mind calms down from the storm. Plotless Logince fluff!
Love Sick - (AO3 Link)
Summary: The five times Logan thought Roman didn’t love him and the one time he was sure he did. (Number 5 will shock you). Song fic.
To Love and to Loathe (and to Love Once Again) - (AO3 Link)
Summary: “Everything would be the same again.
Logic should have known that things rarely go according to plan.”
A Missing Persons Case - (Tumblr Link)
Summary: This is a detective story. Logan Sanders was a serious man. He was perceptive and thorough. He could solve cases faster than any other P.I in town.
This is a love story. Roman Prince has always been a hopeless romantic. He finds love in sunsets, walks alone in the park, and clouds that look like cotton candy.
The Happiest Place (in Our Apartment) - (Tumblr Link)
Summary: Being a travel vlogger during quarantine isn't easy, but when Logan decides to recreate a handful of Disney rides at home, he and Roman learn that being stuck inside isn't all that bad.
Define: Romance - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman dreams of being Logan’s Knight in Shining Armor. Sometimes being a hero isn’t what fantasy books make it seem…
Love in Stitches - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman learns to crochet. Logan just likes to appreciate his boyfriend.
Prinxiety
Thief of My Heart - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Virgil knew he shouldn’t have been at the royal ball, but when he gets swept up dancing with a stranger he doesn’t regret a thing. Sibling Moralogince.
A Curse is a Dream Your Heart Makes - (AO3 Link)
Summary: When Roman wakes up trapped inside Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, he realizes that he must survive (and kiss) his way back to his home before it’s too late. Pining ensues and the Dragon Witch is a bit of an asshole.
Countdown To Christmas - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman gets very excited in the days before Christmas morning and tries to get Logan and Patton together. Ending up with his own crush was not expected. (Equal parts Prinxiety and Logicality.)
Princes Don’t Fall in Love with Villains - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman is NOT in love with the treacherous villain, Anxiety, thank you very much. (Pre-AA.)
(In the) Closet - (AO3 Link)
Summary: In a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven, Roman has a few things to get off his chest. (Platonic Prinxiety, implied romantic Analogical.)
Almost Had You (But I Guess That Doesn't Cut It) - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Virgil and Roman both have regrets about how they left things. Both are stuck wondering how things could have been. Angst with a happy ending.
Royality
A Fairytale Romance - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman hates his job but the cute, clumsy customer is definitely a bonus. Written for Xioncial.
I Don’t Know I’m Sorry
Summary: Roman is a bit jealous. (I’m so, so sorry.) Written for Virge-of-a-breakdown.
Writing Prompt
Summary: 19- “I found your weakness~” 27- Kisses all over their face. Requested by poisonedapples.
To Say “I Love You” - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman is falling in love with one of his best friends. John Mulaney references ensue.
Cuddles - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman doesn’t want to wake up. Plotless Royality fluff!
Secrets - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Some secrets are best untold. Pure tooth rotting fluff.
Hanging Memories - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman and Patton decorate their Christmas tree and reminisce on each old memory. (And perhaps make a new one in the process.)
Kiss Me - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Patton just wants the hurt to go away
Take A Chance On Me - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Patton's been in love with Roman for years. Now he has him right where he wants him.
I Wanna Feel Like Shit With U - (Tumblr Link)
Summary: Short hurt/comfort. Roman takes some time to comfort Patton.
Moxiety
Kisses - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Virgil thinks love is gross. Patton decides to prove him wrong. Written for Poisonedapples.
Dance of the Sugar Plum Patton - (AO3)
Summary: Virgil finds himself in a strange forest and meets Patton along the way. Written for soft-transboy.
Heart Break - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Patton can’t help but break his own heart. Warning: Heavy Angst and open/unhappy ending.
Clingy - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Patton is feeling insecure. Virgil comes to the rescue. Platonic Moxiety/Background Platonic LAMP
Analogical
“Happy Birthday, Virgil.” - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Logan decides to help celebrate Virgil’s birthday.
Writing Prompt
Summary: 6- “Is that my hoodie?” “It smells like you, that’s comforting to me.” 24- Cuddling in bed. Requested by Sandersfandersblog.
Writing Prompt
Summary: 3- “Make me.”
Logicality
Breakfast - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Logan invites Patton over for breakfast. Written for Thelowlysatsuma.
I’m Not Letting Go - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Logan finds Patton crying in the driveway.
Remile
2 A.M - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Remy can’t sleep and Emile’s balcony is just within reach.
Loner (Until I Met You.) - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Emile falls for one of his best friends.
Like a Lover - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Remy agrees to go with Emile to his uncle’s wedding, but in typical Fake Dating style, things get very out of hand in a short amount of time. Sequel to 2 A.M
Writing Prompt
Summary: 68. “This isn’t what it looks like.” Written for max-is-tired
Sleepxiety
Writing Prompt
Summary: 17- “I want to stay like this forever.” 30- Hiding from everyone so they can make out.
Dukeceit
The One I Choose - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Remus wants Deceit to stop focusing on the past and start focusing on what they have together. Based on Seventeen from Heathers: the Musical
Hellfire, Dark Fire - (AO3 Link)
Summary: In which OP can’t stop writing musical theater song pics about a snake man and an octopus man. Deceit lies but he refuses to lie to himself. When feelings complicate his arrangement, will he chose his pride or his morals?
Straight for the Castle - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Prince Remus had everything taken from him- his family, his kingdom, his security- and sixteen years later he vows to get revenge
Shipless
One Strange Morning
Summary: Thomas hears some strange noises downstairs. Written for Max-is-tired.
In Which Logan Goes Feral
Summary: There’s a few more kids Thomas needs to find before he can solve what’s wrong. (Kids!Sides AU written with Max-is-tired.)
Soft sounds in the warm sun - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Patton takes a bit of time to relax on the beach.
Writing Prompt
Summary: 73 “I know you’re lying.” with Platonic Loceit.
Creativity - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman meets his brother
LAMP
Happy Pride - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman has a surprise for his QPPs. Kind of Virgil-centric.
Apologies - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Virgil needs to be cheered up. Takes place directly after DWIT.
Love and Marriage - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Virgil proposes
Falling Down a Rabbit Hole
Summary: "Roman felt like shit. Just an awful, useless, gross pile of shit." Post: SvS redux. Roman needs some comforting.
Multichapter
(First chapters only)
Immortals
Summary: Logan is immortal, and determined to find others like him. (This is literally my first fic for this fandom 😅) Temporary Analogical.
Barren - (AO3 Link)
Summary: In a world where everyone is born with their soulmate’s name on their wrist, being “Barren” is punishable by death. Virgil has been on the run from persecution for 18 years. WARNING: Read at your own risk! This story deals heavily with death and running from the law. (If individual chapters are triggering to a reader, please contact me for a trigger-free summary!)
We Could Be Immortals - (AO3 Link)
Summary: A reboot of Immortals. When Virgil, Roman, Patton, and Logan find themselves as the vessels of spirits as old as time, they must find a way to balance their newfound powers with their high school lives.
Welcome to the Life of Electra Heart - (AO3 Link)
Summary: Roman learns the hard way that the road to recovery isn't always linear. Multiship. Song Fics.
Now Erised reveals are up I can get my 2019 fic in review post up which is very exciting. I had a blast writing fics in 2019 and although I wrote fewer fics than I usually do, I had a couple of long fics and finished the year with 297,258 words of published fic, a figure that surprised me. My primary fandom in terms of number of fics and total word count was Harry Potter, although I continued to publish work in One Direction / Radio One RPF fandom and wrote my first Good Omens fic this year.
Although my original fiction isn’t listed here or included in the word count, in October I started publishing some original flash fiction and creative nonfiction in literary magazines, which was a new venture and one I’ve been really enjoying. Thank you to everyone who read, recced and supported my work this year through comments, kudos, beta reading and cheerleading and the mods who run the terrific fests and communities for us all to play in. It means such a lot.
A full list of completed fics posted to AO3 are listed below with links and word count.
Harry Potter
Only A Kiss (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy) | 9,997
Until My Bones Are Tired (Molly Weasley/Poppy Pomfrey, Molly Weasley/Arthur Weasley) | 3,961
Tonight Let’s Get Some (Harry Potter/Charlie Weasley) | 4,652
Two Can Keep A Secret (If One Of Them Is Dead) (Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy/Rodolphus Lestrange) | 4,953
Starry Night (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy) | 1,784
How We Were Warriors (Harry Potter/Severus Snape) | 51,567
A Many Splendored Thing (Lily Evans/James Potter, James Potter/Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin/Lily Evans) | 3,638
Play Me Like A Love Song (Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina “Will” Grubbly-Plank) | 67,764
Things We Shouldn’t Do (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy) | 11,664
Game, Set, Match (Teddy Lupin/Harry Potter) | 13,026
The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy) | 63,465
Dancing With Ghosts (Harry Potter/Severus Snape) | 12,809
Patience Is A Virtue (Millicent Bulstrode/Pansy Parkinson) | 800
One Direction / Radio One RPF
London Rain (Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson) | 12,156
Harry’s Love Song (Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles) | 2,088
Supernova (Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles) | 5,266
Taking The Plunge (Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson) | 3,762
Can’t Forget You (Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 13,211
Summary: A What If story: Rogue is uneXpectedly eXpecting, but nothing is ever THAT simple in the life of an X-Man. What secret will Gambit discover that complicates their happily-ever-after? MANY thanks to the very wonderful and gracious Ludi for her insightful beta read! Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Marvel. This is actually a multi chapter brought over from Ao3.
Rate: M
Fanfiction ID: 13219592
Universe: X-Men and X-Men (Comicverse) also X-Men - All Media Types
Characters: Dr. H. McCoy/Beast/Hank, Remy L./Gambit, Raven D./Mystique, Anna Marie/Rogue
Genre: Romance/Mystery
Additional tags: Angst and Fluff and Smut Family Feels Fluff and Humor Suspense the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed Cute Kids Pregnancy Fights Blood and Violence Birth Cats Romance Dialogue Heavy Canon Compliant What-If Marvel 616 References X-Men References Mystery Time Travel Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net Mr.&Mrs.X X-Men:The End X-Treme X-Men - Freeform Extermination
Status: Complete.
Published: Feb 26, 2019, over AO3 was published in Feb 24 same year.
Word Count: 33,988 in oneshot over FF.net and 30 chapters on AO3.
Content/Author Notes: Extrapolated to take place after the events of Mr&MrsX 2018 by Kelly Thompson. Inspiration taken from characters introduced in Extermination 2018 by Ed Brisson and also by the theme of the 2015 Spiderwoman by Dennis Hopeless along with several excellent CBR forum discussions and Chris Claremont's X-Men:The End & Extreme X-Men. This is a type of story I don't think Marvel would do right now for these characters or maybe ever ... at least not for quite a while anyway. And I am very okay with that! However, for some of us impatient old-timers it is fun to wonder "What If" and also if Ed Brisson is totally trolling us right now. So Ed, this one's for you! ; ) Even if you'll probably never read it. I also added a few little Easter eggs for some fellow Romy friends to enjoy. This is very fluffy and angsty, but hopefully also funny with just a touch of romance and smut (hard to avoid with these two characters). It picks up with some action and hopefully suspense about halfway through. Rated mature mainly for the little bit of smut, some strong language, and a few intense moments and depictions of violence. Just an FYI, the chapters are very short! This is attempt #2 at writing fanfic, so hopefully I learned a few things along the way. MANY MANY thanks to the very wonderful and gracious @ludi-ling for her insightful beta read!!!
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Marvel. I'm only jumping in the sandbox to play with their toys. Not for profit!
I recommend this because @applejacks1552 is a real fan on the Romy fandom, probably you have read some of her letters on R&G and MMX and all the insight she does over Twitter. This fic is another proves of a dedicated fan doing her good research and filling the blank spaces that Marvel probably will never fill.
@mr-and-mrs-lebeau did a perfect post about all this. You can read it here.
Day 6: Dancing
AU: Royalty/Retainer
Written by: @raptormorphs/@eigaon
Preview:
“If your desire is my happiness, then I am right where I need to be.”
Minato’s mouth parts stupidly, no smart retort beyond that and the slight widening of his eyes. It astounds him, every time, that Akechi can just say things like that. The way he tosses his words out into the air between them so easily, like they won’t shake Minato down to his core with the terrifying notion that he can mean them. How could anyone be happy at his side, forfeiting themselves in order to be constrained entirely to his being?
And yet…how telling of his desperation to be told such a thing, that the moment Akechi says it and holds out his hand, Minato feels his chest seize as if lightning has struck inside of it.
Happy Pride everyone! Please accept this Drabble I very quickly wrote in spite of my poor time management skills that always comes around when I want to write.
“Viiiirrrgiiiiil!” Roman sang, gently pulling the covers off of the sleeping boy.
“Fuck off, Roman,” Virgil grumbled in response.
“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty! We have a long day ahead of us!”
Virgil shoved his face back into the pillow with a groan. “And if you pick me up, I’m going to kick your fucking ass.” In one fell swoop, Roman was already holding Virgil bridal style. “I hate you so fucking much.”
“I love you too,” Roman laughed as he carried Virgil out to their kitchen.
Virgil had eloquently described the sight as something that would “make homophobes shit their pants” as soon as he saw it all. A large rainbow flag covered one wall as well as a tray of rainbow cupcakes cooling by the stove. Logan had been drinking out of a (rainbow) mug while wearing a tank top that said: “Can’t Even Think Straight.” (Virgil would layer notice that all utensils, plates, mugs, bowls, and etc. had been replaced with rainbow versions.) Patton was talking next to him wearing his cat hoodie over a pair of rainbow boxers.
The sight of Logan in a tank and Patton pantsless was just enough to make Virgil blush, but he would never admit that. r admit that. At least not out loud.
“Roman, what the fuck did you do?” Virgil groaned.
“Improved our apartment in order to properly celebrate how gay- not only /I am/ but how gay my fabulous QPPs are as well. Is that what you’re referring to?”
“You’re ridiculous,” Virgil said as he rolled his eyes.
“Come on! Eat some 'gayke' and join the party!” Roman announced. “Happy Pride!”
“Happy pride!” Logan and Patton yelled back through their laughter.
They all stared at Virgil, eagerly waiting for him to say something. “You guys are nerds.”
“C’ mon Virgil,” Patton pleaded with puppy dog eyes. “Pleeeeaaaaassseee.”
“Happy Pride,” he mumbled softly with a smile, gazing adoringly at his QPPs. Truly, he couldn’t have asked for a better June first.
He was the dark sky before a storm; deathly still but filled with energy. His tired eyes were kept awake only by the rectangular lenses that he wore like armor. The building storm in his brain was at its peak, sending energy all around in the form of flashes of lighting and cracks of thunder. The minty flavor of his gum had vanished long ago but he continued to work it between his teeth. His jaw was sore, yes, but it was nothing he wouldn’t recover from.
The storm hit; raining and thunder cracking, pouring as Roman continued to type faster and faster this had to get done. Nothing else around him mattered nor did it seem to exist as the storm overtook his entire being setting fire to dying trees of self doubt and flooding away debris of stress.
The rain died down and the thunder had stopped. He lowered the volume of his earbuds and let his posture go as he dropped fully into the chair he had been sitting in. He checked the clock, seeing that just over an hour had passed. A smile graced his face as the faded sun shone duly through grey clouds. He spit out his gum, folding it into its wrapper and shut off his music. He closed his computer, threw away the gum, and sunk out into the “commons,” as Patton had taken to calling it.
He tugged down his sleeves, pulled his red plaid shirt closer in on himself and fell against the couch. He didn’t look like a prince today and, somehow, that was perfectly alright.
“I’m glad to see that you care out of your hole,” Logan teased, joining Roman on the couch. They both readjusted themselves so that Roman’s head was comfortably in Logan’s lap as Logan ran his fingers through Roman’s hair. For the first time in a while, Roman was completely relaxed, smiling to himself against Logan’s touch and his own heartwarming sense of accomplishment. “Any luck with your work today?”
“Yeah!” Roman announced, sitting up so quickly that he almost hit Logan’s jaw with his skull. He was sitting with his legs crossed and a bright smile as his arms moved around excitedly. “I was actually able to work above my quota for the day! And I didn’t hate myself while doing it either!”
“I’m so proud of you, my intellectual love,” Logan said, pressing a kiss to Roman’s forehead. “You did so good.”
Roman squealed with a blush muttering a quiet, “I know,” as he let himself fall into Logan’s arms. The storm had passed, and now he could lay with his favorite rainbow.
It wasn’t that Emile didn’t have friends- quite the opposite in fact! He just didn’t have many close friends. He could easily drift from group to group, feigning contentment in not understanding inside jokes, and being happy just in the moment. Though, he did also cherish his time alone. He liked being in the peace and quiet, and being alone seemed to make a good excuse for being lonely.
Then, he met Remy. Remus Liam Star was unlike anyone Emile Picani had ever met in his life. He was loud, boisterous, and sarcastic beyond belief. He held up a stoic façade and pretended to care only for himself, but as soon as one of his friends was in trouble, he showed that he was protective and that he cared with his whole heart.
So maybe that’s why, on this rainy March day, Emile invited Remy to be alone with him stargazing tonight. The grass smelled of that morning’s rain and there was nary a cloud in the sky to block their perfect view. “Do you believe in true love, Remus?”
He heard Remy take a deep breath as if his words were waiting to be ingested as they float among the cold air. “I think I’m starting to.”
Emile took a sharp inhale as his heart rate picked up in his chest. “Me too,” he whispered. He knew very well the magical feeling in his chest and the sickly feeling in his gut. He was getting his hopes up atop the highest skyscraper while his heart sank deep, deeper, and deeply into a dark abyss for the man sitting laying next to him.
“Bet he’s a lucky guy,” Remy said.
“I guess,” Emile said.
“Hey, Em, listen to me.” Remy was sitting up, his face hovering inches above Emile’s. “You are so fucking wonderful, okay? Don’t you doubt that for a damn second.” His eyes were fiery and intense, but it was his lips that Emile’s gaze was glued to. “Any guy would be lucky to have even two seconds of your time or a fraction of your love and- oh shit! Are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”
Emile shook his head with a smile, tugging on Remy’s jacket as he sat up and pulled the other into a hug. “Thank you, Remus. That means a lot.”
Remy melted under the touch but would never admit it outside of that moment. It was awkward at first, but when his hands finally found their places on Emile’s upper back, they were both content to just exist in the starlight against the score of crickets and streetlights.
The next few weeks passed wordlessly and Emile couldn’t stop his heart from sinking deeper and deeper, faster and faster, until there was no hope of it coming back to the light. Remy fazed in and out of relationships- none of them serious, but it broke Emile’s heart anyway. It was a rainy day in mid-April the next time they were alone together. There were alone together in what was lazily called a ‘Sun Room’ as the wind gently splashed their legs. Emile pulled his legs close to his chest in an effort to stay dry on the old wicker couch.
“So, Em,” Remy said, stretching out his arms in front of him. “Why haven’t you dated anyone this year?”
Emile shrugged, exhaling into his mug as he took a sip, hoping that the fog on his glasses would hide the panic in his eyes. “Haven’t been asked,” he said, “haven’t asked anyone else.”
“What about that guy from March?” Remy asked. “Oh, let me guess, he’s actually a total asshole and you’ve moved on.”
“Remus,” Emile said with a laugh, his words dying on his tongue, “no. He, uh, he’s not an asshole.”
Remy looked to Emile with a raised eyebrow and curiosity in his eyes. “Why don’t you ask him out, then?”
Emile kept his eyes on his knees. “The timing is never right.”
“Timing is a sorry excuse,” he teased. “Sometimes you have to take risks.”
If Emile were any braver, he would have made a move right then and there. He would have put down his mug, pulled Remy by the jacket, and he would have kissed him absolutely senseless. They’d break for air and Emile would spill out everything he had been hiding for the past two months. If he were lucky, Remy would have confessed that none of his past relationships worked because he was too hung up on Emile and no one else could ever suffice. However, Emile was not lucky, not brave, and failing to keep to the hem of his pants dry. He tucked his legs under his knees and took one final sip of his drink. “Can we change the subject, please?”
“Em,” Remy said quietly, trying to figuring out what he said wrong.
“Remus, please. Just change the subject.”
Remy turned his head away from Emile as his eyes grew focused on a dying porch light. “I’m gonna be single next Saturday.”
“You finally got bored with him?” Emile teased.
Remy was silent for a beat and now Emile was worried he had spoken out of turn. “Among other things, yeah. We just... didn’t click well. It’s just not gonna work out. Why delay the inevitable?”
“If the breakup is inevitable, why start the relationship in the first place?”
“Because it’s worth it to try,” he said, the air between them was cold and began to still. The storm was finally about to end. “Starting a relationship is, well, it’s a test of compatibility, I guess.”
“Roman always seems to say the opposite,” Emile said. “He says that... if you’re compatible as friends, and you both share the same feelings, a relationship is just... a change in boundaries.”
Remy let out a sign and chuckled. “That’s because Roman actually likes the guys he dates.”
Emile spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what that statement meant. He never got an answer. He tried to brush it off but it always stayed quizzically in the back of his mind.
“I am SO DONE with artists,” Remy announced, slamming his head against the old picnic table as he sat down. The group stayed in touch by taking turns organizing little get-togethers- usually a brunch, or dinner party when Logan was feeling particularly bold- and talking about life. Of course, they all had moments where they hung out as fractions and fragments of their group, but the get-togethers were tradition and none of them would trade them for the world.
“Excuse you,” Roman said with a rather offended gasp.
“Not you kind of artists but,” Remy fumbled with his hands as he tried to think of the words before just digging his hands through his hair, “UGH!”
“Tough breakup?” Virgil asked.
“Percy is such a picky asshole.”
“Remus-“
“Remy.” There was a beat of silence. “Only Em gets to call me ‘Remus’,” he muttered under his breath.
Logan cleared his throat. “Remy,” he said, “perhaps it would be best to take more time before entering these, uh, flings head first. I’d even go so far as to recommend advice from Roman.”
“Well that’s definitely a first,” Virgil teased, poking his boyfriend’s side.
“I’m not sure I’m equipped at the moment.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Roman sighed, keeping his eyes low on the ground. “I uh,” mumbled an embarrassed (but would never admit it) Roman, “I’m having problems trying to confess to my own crush.”
“Aww, Roman,” Patton said. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“He’d be a fool not to at least give you a chance,” Emile said with an encouraging smile. From the side of his eye, he could see Remy give him a glance that was nearly impossible to read through his dark sunglasses.
“Uh, yeah, you’ll do fine, Roman,” Remy said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Babes, I got an iced green tea that’s just calling my name from the nearest Starbucks.”
“Tired of us already?” Virgil teased.
Remy rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Without caffeine? Yes.”
Roman sighed, clicking his tongue disapprovingly as he shook his head. “I doubt he’ll ever change.”
“You never know,” Virgil said with a shrug, his voice low as everyone looked to him. No one pressed him for an explanation. No one needed to.
It was a bit of a shock when, later that night, Emile had received a phone call from Roman rather out of the blue. “Hey, is it okay if I come over?” Roman asked before either had a chance to say hello.
“Oh, uh, yeah, sure,” Emile said. “I’m just cleaning some things up.”
“Perfect! Because I’m in your driveway.” Three beeps signaled that Roman had hung up already.
Emile sighed, putting his phone in his pocket and trying to speed-walk across the house to open the door. “Roman, is there ever a time when you’ll give me more than a five-minute warning before your arrival?”
“Emile, darling, would I be here on such short notice if it weren’t absolutely necessary?”
“Yes, Roman, yes you would be.”
Roman rolled his eyes and leaned his hip against the doorframe. “I need your help. Can I come in or not?”
“Yeah, come in, come in,” Emile said. “What did you need help with?”
“Patton,” Roman mumbled, falling dramatically across Emile’s couch.
“What about Patton?”
Roman rolled his eyes. “Oh wipe that smug little grin off of your face; you’ve been spending far too much time with Remy.”
“Answer the question, Roman.”
“He’s too wonderful!” Roman exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “His smile could light all of Times Square! His freckles are tiny kisses that the sun has left upon his face! And his body-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Emile said. “Stop. Go to jail. Do not pass ‘Go’ and do not collect two hundred dollars.”
Roman smirked as he sat up. “Emile, my dear and wonderful friend, you must help me in winning over Patton’s affections! Wait- who the hell are you calling?”
“Virgil. I am definitely not equipped to help with this alone.”
A couple of phone calls, a few minutes of waiting, and one brewed pot of coffee later, Roman, Virgil, Remy, and Emile were all scheming on the living room floor with all the furniture pushed away towards the walls as they sit on a macrame rug.
“Hey, why don’t you just, I don’t fucking know, ask him in a date? Like a normal person?” Virgil asked. “With no fireworks or ostriches!”
“Oh, please, like that would ever work.”
Virgil’s face fell into his hands with a groan. “Of course it would work! It’s fucking Patton!”
“Exactly! And Patton deserves the absolute greatest and most spectacular extravaganza that anyone could ask for!”
“Holy shit,” Virgil groaned before retaliating with a more solid argument.
Remy nudged his shoulder against Emile’s and brought his lips dangerously close to Emile’s ear; his breath against the other’s neck caused Emile to fight back a chill. “Why don’t we make another pot of coffee and let these two settle their bitch fight?”
Emile silently nodded and let Remy lead him into the kitchen by the hand. He tightened his grip around Remy’s fingers as that feeling came back to him. His hopes were as high, higher, and highest as they could be, and his heart stayed warm through the ice of the deep, dark, blackened, and lifeless sea. He was being torn apart, and he needed wanted Remy to keep him stable in the middle ground. He wanted Remy to grab him by the tie and kiss him but, no, that would never happen. He needed to come back to reality. He hadn’t even noticed when Remy let go of his hand.
Remy hoisted himself onto the counter, swinging his legs back and forth. Roman and Virgil’s bickering had become muffled background noise, but it showed no sign of stopping. “It’s always a party with those two, huh?”
Emile forced out an awkward laugh. “It is, isn’t it?”
“If you ask me,” Remy said, “Roman doesn’t even need some extravagant speech. Just catch him alone under the moonlight and kiss him senseless, ya know?”
“Maybe if this were a fanfic,” Emile teased. “But this is real life. You can’t just kiss people without asking.”
“Fair point.”
The bickering had quieted down and, for a few moments, everything was completely silent. Remy and Emile were caught staring in each other’s eyes. It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Seconds felt like minutes felt like hours felt like years. It was late April.
“We should, uh, we should check on the others.”
“Yeah. You’re right.”
It was the middle of May. Roman was having the gang- and a few other friends- over for an End of Spring Pool Party. Roman had promised to tell Patton how he felt before the end of the night. Virgil had bet Remy five bucks that he would bail.
Emile has never been one for swimming- at least not around strangers- so he had confessed that he’d be content to sit by the pool and watch. It was perhaps the most casual any of them had seen him- khaki shorts with a flowery button down and a regular pair of brown boat shoes.
“Wow, Em, you dress down nice,” Remy said with a wink. There were a few hours to sunset. Really, the party was only starting.
“Thank you, Remus,” Emile said with a smile and flushed cheeks.
“Quit flirting and ask Roman where he keeps the spare firewood!” Virgil yelled from the other end of the pool, poking at an unlit fireplace.
“Keep flirting, I’ll talk to Roman,” Logan teased as he passed by them and Emile was sure that his blush would give him away as he looked only to the ground. If he were to look up he would have noticed Remy looking to the sky with a face that was red from embarrassment.
“I should, uh, probably go get changed,” Remy said, patting a drawstring bag on his side. “Keep an eye on Roman while I’m gone. I’m really looking forward to those five bucks that Virge is gonna owe me.”
“Whatever you say, Remus,” Emile said with a laugh. He looked towards the sun as Remy headed inside. The orange sky had melted into pinks, purples, blues, and a lightless black littered with stars before his very eyes. The party was loud and alive with music blasting, conversation from everywhere in the yard, and any type of outdoor lighting that Roman could buy for under five dollars a piece. Emile was content to sip on fruit punch and watch from a distance.
“Hey, Emile,” Virgil said, swimming up to the side of the pool. “Have you seen Logan?”
“I think he went inside to go get some snacks.”
“Damnit, would you wind going inside and getting him for me? I need him to help me kick Seth and Toby’s asses in a chicken fight.”
“Sure thing!” Emile said. He put his drink down on the table next to him before snaking his way through crowds of people. As he got closer to the kitchen he felt himself gasping for air. He didn’t even know these many people could fit in one house!
“Em!” Remy whispered, gesturing for Emile to come closer. “You gotta see this.”
The two peaked behind a wall that leads to the dining room, where Roman had Patton pinned against the dining room table as they both kissed roughly as if nothing else mattered. “Eww,” Emile said under his breath as he turned away from the wall to give them their privacy, as well as to try to remove the image from his brain.
“I know right?” Remy laughed as he snapped a picture and texted it to whom Emile could only assume was Virgil. “I can’t wait to get those five bucks.”
It was the first real look that Emile had gotten of Remy that night. His sunglasses were pushed on top of his head, holding back his hair, and he still wore his black jacket (open) over his bare chest. With his plain black swim trunks, it all somehow looked like an actual outfit, as ridiculous as that sounds. “I should probably find Logan,” Emile admitted. “Virgil sent me in here to find him.”
“That nerd? I sent him out a bit ago to go entertain his boyfriend. I’m sure they’ve found each other already.”
Emile let out a relieved sigh and smiled at Remy. “Thanks then.”
“Anything for you, Em,” he replied with a wink. Emile was lost beyond belief but he finally felt stable, level, and found all at once. “Why don’t we go get some fresh air?”
“I’d like that,” Emile confessed, lightly wrapping his fingers around Remy’s. They walked to the pool deck together, taking in the cool spring air and enjoying the laughter of their friends and acquaintances. Emile had let go of Remy’s hand in preparation to retrieve the drink that he had previously left unattended. However, with the dim lights and his lack of focus, it was rather impossible for Emile to see the upcoming events to unfold in front of him. He lost his footing as he walked closer to the pool. He slipped, falling backwards in what would play in his memories as slow motion.
“EMILE!” Remy yelled as he quickly threw off his jacket and sunglasses, diving into the pool after him. He wrapped an arm around Emile and swam to the surface, the older of the two coughing and spitting up pool water.
“Remus, you,-”
“Shh, you’re okay,” Remy said.
“My glasses,” Emile mumbled, his voice too strained and weak to properly talk. “I need my glasses.”
“Can you keep yourself afloat while I get them for you?” Emile bit his lip and nodded, kicking his legs back and forth as Remy let go of him. Remy’s vision swept across the pool floor until he saw the tortoiseshell frames laying a few feet away. He took a big gulp of air before diving down towards them, opening his eyes once he was beneath the surface.
His vision was foggy under the chlorine and his eyes felt instantly weaker. The glasses now looked more like a brown blob and he tried to grab them as quickly as bubbles of his own air tickled his face. He grabbed one of the sides of the frame and swam to the surface just before running out of air. “Guess you really leave me breathless, huh?” Remy teased as he swam up to Emile, who was sitting on the concrete by the side of the pool, soaking wet and looking lost. Remy pulled himself up and carefully slid the glasses onto Emile’s face. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
“Remus, you saved me,” Emile mumbled.
“Oh, I, uh, anyone else would have done the same thing. I just, you know, did it first.”
“Well, thank you,” Emile said with a gentle smile that took Remy’s breath away.
“We should get you over to the fire. You’ll dry off a lot faster.” He was able to grab his towel and wrap it around Emile’s shoulders as they walked towards the fire, though with Emile’s blush, the elder was sure that he’d be dry way before they even came near the fireplace.
It was a cool night in May and no one else mattered. The warmth and light of the crackling fire felt wonderful against cold and soaking skin. Remy sat back against the bench, his knee and thigh resting against Emile’s.
“So,” Emile said quietly, “you’ve been single since April. Must be a new record.”
“Heh, uh, yeah,” Remy said through a forced laugh. “I finally took some advice from Roman.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I decided that I actually want to like the guy I date.” His words were spoken carefully and backed by tension, but his body relaxed, letting his arms and shoulders fall against Emile. “And I uh, really like this guy. Guess the next step is to date him.”
“He must be a lucky guy,” Emile said.
“I’d consider myself the lucky one,” Remy said, his words slow and barely above a whisper, “if you’ll have me.”
Emile turned towards Remy, gazing at him silently with awestruck eyes. He placed his hands on Remy’s face and neck, pulling him forwards and locking their lips in the middle. It was soft and sweet as Remy melted into it. He pulled Emile closer by the hips and began to kiss more roughly, devouring the other as if he needed him the way someone atop Mount Everest needs oxygen.
They broke apart to the sound of Virgil wolf whistling. He laughed as Roman grumpily handed him crumpled up dollar bills, before handing half of them over to Remy. “Luck be a lady tonight,” Virgil yelled, pocketing the rest of the money.
“Yeah, well I still won the bet on Roman!” Remy retaliated, unsure of how to react with all of their friends watching them.
“Which was exactly why I charged Roman extra on the bet on you,” Virgil said with a smirk. “I had my doubts on him ‘fessing up, but you two? It had to happen sooner or later.”
“Girl, you are the worst,” Remy said with a glare.
“So I’ve been told,” Virgil said with a smirk.
Remy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can do this with or without an audience.” Without a second of hesitation, he took Emile’s jaw in his hand and pulled him forward, resuming their previous kiss.
Emile’s face was bright red with embarrassment from his friends teasingly clapping and howling, but he returned the gesture with one of his own before melting into the kiss as if the rest of the world had melted with him. He finally had people who cared for him- actually, genuinely cared for him. He had a place in the world, and above all, he had Remy. He smiled into the kiss as he finally reached his happy ending.
“I love you!” Roman didn’t think too much of the phrase. Patton used to phrase for everyone and everything. He told Virgil that he loved him anytime he entered the room. He told Logan that he loved him whenever his friend helped explain things that Patton didn’t quite understand on his own.
So Roman never really put a lot of thought into the phrase. It was everything else that Patton did that drove the writer absolutely mad. It was the little reassurances and gentle touches that made his heart race. Roman was beginning to conclude that he might have to fight Patton.
Of course, he didn’t really want to fight Patton. But he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to do. Patton felt warm and safe. Patton felt like home. Which is why he was currently driving Roman absolutely mad.
He said “I love you” to everyone. Always had; always will. There was nothing unusual about it. But when he said it, Roman couldn’t help but hope that it meant something different for him than it had for the others. Because he was falling for Patton. And he was falling Hard.
It was a typical night with the four of them hanging out in Roman’s apartment and binge-watching whatever show they had picked for the week. Virgil and Logan had started the night only barely next to each other but had somehow merged together resulting in Virgil now sitting on his QPP’s lap and playing with his hair. Patton was sitting next to Roman, their knees and shoulders gently pressing into each other. It made Roman’s heart race.
Roman nervously downed the last of his coffee as one episode rolled into the next. He wasn’t watching anymore as he felt Patton yawn and fall against his shoulder, already half asleep. He could... he could deal with that. He could deal with his heart racing so long as he avoided eye contact. That’s when Patton nuzzled into Roman’s side and he knew he was absolutely fucked if he thought he could ignore this.
It was about 2 am when the marathon ended and Logan and Virgil said their goodbyes as they called an Uber to take them home. Roman continued to let Patton sleep against him. What was one night without sleep? Avoiding inconveniencing Patton was more important. Patton could have a peaceful sleep clinging onto Roman like a koala while the latter would have a Gay Crisis.
As the weeks went on, it only got worse. Everything from the way he smiled to simply his presence in the room made Roman’s heart swell. And still, he grew more and more affectionate from little things like brushing their arms together or walking around while holding Roman’s hand, to snuggling into him during movies and tv marathons. Roman’s heart was going to burst.
Roman had found himself at Logan and Virgil’s shared house and threw himself onto their couch. “He shall be the death of me! My sweetest downfall! I am a mere mortal who cannot withstand any more of this treatment!”
“Good. Perish,” Virgil said, throwing a water bottle at Roman’s chest.
“Ow! What was that for?!”
“That was for being so damn thirsty, you gay disaster.”
“I’m the gay disaster?!” Roman asked in faux shock as he sat up dramatically. “If I remember correctly, before you got with Logan, you would-“
“Okay! Okay! Point proven now shut the fuck up.”
“Now, Roman,” Logan said, sitting down next to Virgil across from Roman. “Have you considered taking your own advice and ‘manning the fuck up’ and ‘just fucking tell him you’re gay already’.”
“I hate both of you so much.”
“Duly noted,” Logan said with a smirk.
“I can’t risk telling him, I- I don’t know how!”
“You don’t know how,” Logan repeated with a raised brow. “I find that hard to believe.”
“I- I need the perfect way to tell him how special he is to me, but... I don’t want to ruin anything,” Roman confessed.
“Ruin?”
“You don’t need to psychoanalyze everything he says, Babe.”
“If he doesn’t feel the same way and I scare him off, I... I couldn’t live with that.”
Virgil offered a small smile and asked, “But what if he does?”
“I-“ Roman buried his head in his hands and sighed. “I don’t know what I would do then either.”
“Date him, dumbass, that’s what you’d do.”
“But what if I’m not good enough?”
A hushed silence fell through the room save for the distant ticking of a clock. As he frantically wiped at his eyes, neither Virgil nor Logan could tell if Roman had been crying, but deep down they both feared that their assumptions were correct. He took a few breaths and fixed his composure but didn’t quite make eye contact with either of them. “I don’t want to ever have to break his heart.”
Virgil and Logan quietly and quickly moved to sit by Roman. “Hey,” Virgil said with a soft smile while rubbing Roman’s back. “Being the pessimist of the group is my job. You should go back to being the dreamer.”
“Thanks,” Roman said with a forced smile.
“If you have any reason to suspect that he may return your feelings, then you should talk to him,” Logan said.
“But what if I’m not sure about that part?”
Logan and Virgil exchanged a silent glance. Virgil cleared his throat. “Talk to him, Roman. Bottling up your feelings is no way to deal with them.” Roman opened his mouth to speak. “And if you use John Mulaney against me right now I swear to all things holy I will put you in a hospital.”
Roman stayed silent for a moment but a mischievous grin grew on his face. “Will there be a horse there?”
“You’re dead to me.”
“Just like that young, Victorian girl,” Logan countered.
“I’m divorcing you.”
They were all supposed to be hanging out at Roman’s place again. Just a typical Friday night. Only, Virgil and Logan had to fuck that up. It conveniently had to be an important date night that they accidentally forgot to mention leaving Roman and Patton to be alone. Completely. Utterly. Alone.
Together.
Roman was going to lose his shit at some point or another and he feared it might be soon as he couldn’t seem to remove his gaze from Patton’s face. Have his lips always been that pink?
“It’s a lot quieter without Virgil and Logan,” Patton said, clearing trying to make some kind of conversation.
“Yeah,” Roman absentmindedly agreed. He took a deep breath trying to keep his heart rate down. “Patton, I think we need to talk.”
“Isn’t that what we’re already doing?” Patton asked with a laugh.
“I mean like... serious talk time.”
“Oh?” Patton asked, his head tilted to the side and his brow furrowed. After a moment his expression dropped. “Oh. Roman, listen, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable lately, I-“
Roman held a hand up, silencing the other. “Please, just, I need to get this off my chest.” His hands were shaking and his heart pounding against his throat. “Patton, I think that you’re... incredible. You’re amazing, and wonderful, and safe, and I’m running out of adjectives, but you feel like home to me. You don’t have to say anything, but, I just- I needed this off my chest, okay?”
“Oh, Roman.” Patton pulled him close and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too. And you’re very brave for telling me.”
Roman let out a deep breath, shaking as a few stray tears rolled down his cheeks as he let himself fall deep into Patton’s arms. The weight of the world had fallen off of his shoulders, but the weight of galaxies was only sinking in. “What now?” he asked quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, just... what happens now?”
“What do you want to happen now?” Patton’s tone was soothing as he ran his fingers through Roman’s hair; Roman felt guilty for causing a scene while Patton was able to remain so calm.
“I... I don’t know. I didn’t actually think this would work out well.”
Patton’s laugh sounded like sunshine and happiness. He was the sun after a cold storm. He was truly astonishing. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re unsure,” Patton said. “We can take our time.”
“You’re incredible,” Roman said.
Patton pressed another kiss to Roman’s forehead and turned on the TV. “I love you too.”
