Summary: After years of his identity as aromantic being dismissed, Roman decides to use the excuse of following the soulmate glow to escape his hometown and go on a journey to find somewhere better. A diner he stops in gives him the way to find more people just like him.
~
Roman had tried dating. People needed to understand, he had tried dating, tried to enjoy casual relationships everyone was pushed to have as teenagers so their soulmates would have a good partner. He had tried.
They had all made his skin crawl and ended when he fled one too many dates with excuses of family commitments. His longest relationship lasted a month only because the man he’d been with viewed it as a challenge to date someone who didn’t want to be dated.
Blocking that man everywhere was the second best decision of Roman’s life so far.
The best decision was taking to the internet to look at LGBTQ+ identities again. He read through definitions of identities for hours before learning about aromantics, and all the time was worth it.
Roman was Aromantic and everything made more sense now.
Except nobody believed him or that it was a real identity. Everyone knew everyone has a soulmate and they’d all find them at some point in their life and anybody claiming not to was lying or delusional.
After months of this, Roman was resolute: He would claim to be following his soulmate glow to leave his hometown and gradually cut off contact with everyone who expected to hear of a whirlwind romance happening.
There had to be a happy ending waiting for him in the world
~
“Hi there stranger, can I get you anything?” The greeting was called cheerfully from the counter as Roman wandered into the diner. He’d been travelling for a week and was debating where he should stay that night while pausing his drive for a meal.
“Burger and a coke please, and maybe a map to a motel for the night?” He requested, sitting at the bar with a small smile.
The man behind the counter noted his order quickly, calling into the kitchen before turning back to Roman, “Are you passing through on your way somewhere?”
“Trying to find somewhere I can be me. I’m not sure it exists though.” He replied more honestly than he usually would be to strangers. “I’m Roman, by the way.”
“I’m Patton and Logan is in the kitchen.” Patton gestured to the window connecting the rooms. “Is it a soulmate quest you’re on?”
Roman couldn’t avoid pulling a face, “I hope not. Romance is very much uncomfortable.”
“We’ve got a couple friends who’d agree with you over at ‘Hollow Horizons’. Stay in town a few days to go and meet them.” The suggestion was given as Roman’s drink was placed on the counter with a warm smile.
“What is ‘Hollow Horizons’?” He asked intrigued, “And can you suggest somewhere I could stay?”
The man in the kitchen leant through the window. “It’s a bookshop. I’ll get a map of afforable places drawn while you eat. Food’s ready in ten.”
“Thanks Logan!” Patton beamed at the small smile he was given. “We’re soulmates which is simpler than your experience, I believe.”
“My experience? Do you mean not wanting a soulmate?” Roman paused at the tone directed to him. It sounded like he’d been accepted about disliking that version of a happy ending but he couldn’t figure out what else was meant.
Patton enthusiastically nodded, “Janus tried explaining it to me once, and Lo read a book or two on it. Some of our greatest explorers were just like you, he said.”
“You’re confusing him, Patton. Why don’t you let Janus offer him an explanation tomorrow and ask about his travels so far instead.” Logan called, but didn’t move into view at all.
~
Roman had promised to return to the diner the next night and decided to book a few nights at the B&B Patton seemed to like the owner of, claiming, “Remy’s the best. If you struggled to sleep he’d got all the tips to help and Emile got his cooking qualifications at the same time as Logan. They should both be Doctor’s I swear.”
It was a nice looking place, and the display of teas to one end of the counter actually encouraged Roman to relax there.
“Sup Babes, Are you Roman? Pattycake said he was sending you our way.” The receptionist greeted, lowering the sunglasses they were wearing.
“Yes, that’s me. Do you have a room available for a few nights?” He nodded, dropping his bag to the floor to get his wallet out.
He got a nod in return as they turned to the wall of keys. “Sure thing. The names Remy. I’m here in the evenings. You’ll meet Emile tomorrow morning. Are you paying now or when you check out?”
Roman thought for a moment before deciding, “Now for the first two nights and I’ll decide later if I’m staying for longer than that.”
“Great, Here’s your key, let’s get the other stuff sorted now.”
~
Emile turned out to be an eccentric, energetic man with a reference for every sentence said, even just breakfast orders. Roman liked him a lot but was ready to spend the day lost in town after the fourth soulmate story was referenced in quick succession. He didn’t want to ask for directions if that’d get another brought up.
Except Emile interrupted himself from a discussion of the friendships on yet another show, saying, “Oh bother, I’ve made the same mistake Pooh bear did in Eeyore’s New Home. Talking on instead of asking where you’re going today.”
“Patton suggested I visit a bookshop in town. I think it was ‘Hallowed Horizons’.” Roman said, frowning a little as the shop name sounded wrong and wondering if he’d changed the name of it accidentally.
It was amusing when Emile then gasped, “’Hollow Horizons’?” and hurried into the entryway, bringing back a leaflet. “My faux pas grows I suspect, but it’s easy to get to Virgil’s shop.” He began explaining the directions, placing the leaflet beside Roman’s plate.
Roman nodded, looking at the small map before querying, “Patton said it belonged to someone called Janus. Who’s Virgil?”
“They’re co-owners. Fight something rotten sometimes, like Katara and Zuko, but both decent people at the end of the day,” Emile nodded. “But I do find Virgil the nicer of the paid, less prone to wear a mask or distrust everyone, but a bit abrasive.”
~
Hollow Horizons was a small shop from the outside, dark enough that Roman almost walked straight past it and then stared for a while trying to figure out if it was open. The only indication it actually was was a small sign beside the doorhandle but once Roman spotted it he wasted no time in entering.
Someone in an oversized hoodie behind the counter made a discontented noise as they sat up straighter, “Sup, Hollow Horizons has all the rare kinds of books you could hope for. Are you looking for a particular book?”
“I’m not sure. Someone at the diner I went to last night recommended I come here.” Roman replied, looking over the displays curiously.
He startled as a frustrated growl came from behind him, “Roman then? Janus said Patton was telling him we should hire you. I’m Virgil and bet Pat’s skipped a hundred steps in that idea of his.” Virgil paused, looking Roman over before gesturing further back in the shop, “Might want to check out the shelf on soulmate studies back there. I started with ‘Broken Bonds’, Janus pushes ‘Identities Without Mates’ but for Logan to agree with sending you here there’ll be something to catch your eye on those shelves.
Roman had started to frown at the subject he was pointed to until he heard the book titles being recommended. It was easier to focus on that than the idea a man he’d met once had tried to get a job for him when he didn’t know how long he’d remain in town.
Neither of the titles mentioned caught Roman’s attention. Instead the first book he focused on showed the arch of a horizon, glowing to the right of the cover with violet light. It was a familiar sight to Roman as that was supposed to be the glow that drew soulmates together; one he’d half-heartedly been following since his journey began. He reached for the book curiously despite expecting it to praise the soulmates most people said everyone had.
‘Unreachable’ was the title of the book:
Welcome to the stories of people who wil never reach the glow supposed to mark their soulmates location.
Despite common belief, history is scattered with people without soulmates and their records have been found and discredited for long enough. Open this book and learn of authors breaking hearts with loveless stories and adventurers as much running from the expectations of their society as towards a glow that never moved nearer to them.
We are the ones with unreachable soulmates because they don’t exist and if you feel the same, we welcome you ever more.
Roman had never been moved to tears by the blurb of a book before but the blub of ‘Unreachable’ had managed it.
He hugged the book to his chest, moving back to the counter Virgil was sat at and very reluctantly placing it down, “This please.”
“Sure. You need a tissue?” Virgil offered, scanning the book and gesturing to a tissue box on the side.
“Thank you.” Roman agreed, dabbing at his eyes, “Don’t know why I’m like this. I’ve said I’m aro for years.”
Virgil shrugged, saying nothing about the book being hugged as soon as it was bagged, “Bet you’ve only had people discrediting you since the start. People suck.”
He sniffed, nodding as he struggled to get his wallet out and pay one handed.
“Come back if you want to talk more about the book or anything.” Virgil called after him as he left. Roman was sure he would listen and be back soon enough.
For all his life he’d been told there was a soulmate out there for him and finally here was ‘Unreachable’ saying there wasn’t but he could still achieve amazing things. Here were people accepting him easily.
Whether he stayed in town only long enough to read the book or for longer, he’d found a happy pause to celebrate.
Coffee and Cinnamon Rolls (Sometimes Labels Shift Series)
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Relationships: Virgil & Remy (background Logicality and Remile)
Characters:
Main: Virgil, Remy
Mentioned: Patton, Logan, Emile
Summary:
Remy meets his best friend/bosses new child and immediately has the must protect at all cost urges.
This is a midquel for my story Sometimes Labels Fail.
Notes: Superhero AU, child abuse
No promises for a part two for this, but it is a possibility... Also I’m going to go ahead and put it in the Sometimes Labels Shift series even though it’s technically not a sequel.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Remy said, drawing the teenager’s attention back to him. He’d gone a bit distant, and his leg had started bouncing nervously a few seconds ago. That wouldn’t do. “He’s an old person. How can his system handle that much sugar and caffeine? Short answer, it can’t.” He took another long drink, being sure to slurp a bit obnoxiously.
Virgil’s nose twisted just a bit. “Then why are you drinking it?” he asked.
“When you get to be my age kid,” he said seriously, looking at him from over his sunglass, “you learn the universal truth.” The boy tilted his head curiously, falling directly into the trap. “YOLO.”
He watched Virgil go through the 5 stages of grief in two seconds flat. Remy sat back to bask in it. Mission Distract-the-Child was a success. “Why?” Virgil chocked.
Remy ignored the question. “Sure, you don’t want something other than a black coffee?” he asked. “Like, I get the aesthetic thing, I do, and I appreciate it, but why suffer?” Virgil glared at him and took a resolute sip of the drink looking like a little gremlin. “At least wash it down with a cinnamon roll,” he entreated, shoving the plate toward him.
Virgil frowned at the plate. “That’s yours,” he said.
“Yeah, well, this drink is actually giving me a stomachache so I’m not going to eat it,” he said as though he’d ever intended to eat the thing himself. “We shouldn’t let it go to waste.”
“You’re still drinking it,” Virgil pointed out.
“And your point is?” Remy asked.
“You’re a weird person,” Virgil commented.
“Please eat the pastry,” Remy said, pushing it toward him a little more forcefully. He looked at it and hesitated but eventually picked it up and took a bite, smearing the icing all over his face. Cute. Leave it to Patton to find the most anxious and damaged, but still adorable teenager in the city and adopt him on sight.
Remy had spent his night unbelievably salty that Patton had switched his on-call night around at last minute with one of the other doctors in the office. It wasn’t that Remy didn’t like the other two or that he minded working with them. They were fine, but if Remy had to work until 7am because they got called in for an emergency, he much preferred suffering with his best friend.
He’d guessed of course that whatever had gone on the night before last with Big Bird and Shadow Caster had spilled over and he’d understood that, but still. He’d been left alone and bitterly wondering what Patton could really be doing that was that important.
But apparently the man had been busy, because he’d somehow managed to accidentally acquire a whole fucking child which is not an emergency phone call Remy had ever expected to come from his incredibly homosexual best friend, but here they were.
And yes, this was clearly Patton’s baby now. He couldn’t have been any more transparent if he’d stamped the words “Patton’s son” on the boy’s forehead. What’s more was Logan was clearly also 100% on board the dad train which was a bit of a shock.
Remy studied him as he chewed on the cinnamon roll. So, this was Shadow Caster, the cities resident heroic bank robber? Remy should probably be surprised, but honestly after the Nerd=Bird realization, he really couldn’t find any shock in himself. It was a little weird, sure. Shadow Caster was a kid and one he was going to have to take pictures of and call the cops for (not because of the bank robbing). That was an interesting pill to swallow, but such was life.
In almost a blink the cinnamon roll was gone, and Jesus, did the boy ever eat? Judging by the small frame hidden under the large coat he wore, probably not. Well, Patton would surely see to that.
Remy would need to get a ‘congrats it’s a boy’ card for them, if for no other reason to watch Logan’s head spin trying to explain why that type of card was designed for the purpose of newborns joining a household and not this situation like a nerd.
“Napkin?” Remy said offering one. The kid recoiled when Remy moved too fast. Oops. He kept his hand still and didn’t comment. Eventually Virgil took the napkin, and Remy sat back slowly watching him curling in on himself a bit. Remy sighed.
Music started up suddenly and Remy glanced at his phone. “Sorry, I forgot to text my boyfriend that I’d be home late,” he told Virgil, he swiped to ignore the call and sent a text back instead with an apology. When he looked back up at Virgil, the kid was glaring at him. “What?”
“I recognize that ringtone,” he said. “It’s from Steven Universe.”
“It’s a good show,” Remy said, but that was apparently not the point because Virgil pointed a finger at him.
“You know who the Ninja Turtles are,” Virgil accused.
Remy rolled his eyes. “Of course, I know who the fucking Ninja Turtles are kid. I’m not Bluebird. Also, my boyfriend’s sort of a cartoon fanatic so even if I didn’t know before I met him, I would by now.”
“Liar.”
Remy rolled his eyes and finished his drink, smacking his lips. “Babe, I have an image to keep up as a crotchety old man. What will everyone do if they realize I’m secretly cool as well as this hot.”
He scoffed and Remy narrowed his eyes.
“Stop with the sass kid or I’ll throw this dirty napkin at you.”
Virgil screwed up his face more.
“That’s it. I’m throwing this at you,” he warned before pitching the crumped-up napkin at him.
He laughed, batting it away.
“‘ight want a coffee refill before we go?” Remy asked standing up.
“Oh, um, maybe.” He got a little quieter again at the reminder that this wasn’t just a fun coffee date, but they did have to get going pretty soon. Remy would have just taken the coffee to go if he hadn’t noticed the boy about to jump out of his own skin once they left Logan and Patton on the roof. Honestly, Remy wasn’t relishing what they were about to do. He didn’t know if he wanted to see the leftovers of whatever put that twitchiness into his movements or the distrust in his eyes. It needed to be done though, Remy knew. He’d just try to make it as painless as possible.
“Sure, I can’t tempt you with a Remy special?” he asked.
Virgil rolled his eyes. “Please. No.”
“Lame,” Remy complained. “You have that young digestion system and you’re not even taking advantage of it.”
“My body is a temple,” Virgil said. “Crumbling to pieces and also definitely cursed.”
“Dramatic fucking teenagers,” Remy mumbled, snatching up the boy’s coffee cup and heading over to get him a refill. Virgil laughed at him and Remy smiled as he walked away.
Warnings: after the second --- is a very bloody murder, Virgil has issues, before there are references to shitty parents, a failing marriage, and the city being a shitty place
"Just five more," Patton spoke up.
Roman pressed his lips together tightly. His sweat dripped down his face and to the concrete of the rooftop.
He hated pushups.
His muscles were burning now and his breath was short.
"Four. You can do it. Three. Two. One."
Roman let himself drop to the floor as soon as he was done.
"Are you okay, kiddo?" he heard the concern seep into Patton's voice.
"I'm good," he heaved. "Just... just tired."
"Oh, dear. Do you want some water?"
"Please," Remus groaned.
"I'll get you some real quick, hold on."
Roman heard Patton walk downstairs and slowly turned to lie on his back.
The sky was blue but the air was cold. The clouds that had covered the sky the day before had moved on, now barely visible on the horizon.
With a groan, Roman managed to push himself up into a sitting position and leaned back against the wall meant to keep people from falling. He had long since learned that here in downtown they were rarer than speaking ravens. Ones high enough to actually be up to protocol even rarer.
The weirdest part of which being the talking ravens who used their ability just to insult people or to give them wrong directions, then cawing as if they were laughing when they got lost.
"I'm back, kiddos!" Patton announced, carrying two water bottles. He handed one to Roman and knelt down next to Remus who was still lying on his face. "You alright, Remus?"
Remus lifted his head and craned it to look at him.
"Your roof tastes better than ours."
"That's good to know. Do you want the water now?" Patton offered it to him.
"Yeah, thanks." Remus pushed himself up and sat criss-cross.
Roman finally managed to unscrew his water and drank half of it in one go before gasping for air.
Patton gave for them a few more moments to catch their breath before ushering them down the stairs to the apartment so they wouldn't catch colds.
Roman noticed a jacket hanging over one of the chairs as if someone had put it down and then forgotten all about it.
It was far too small to be Patton's.
On second glance he noticed a few patches on it, one of it with an anarchy symbol painted on.
Okay, yeah, that definitely wasn't Patton's.
"Whose is that?" he asked, let himself fall on the couch and took another sip of his water.
"Oh, that's Virgil's."
Roman nearly chocked on his water.
"You know Virgil?" Remus asked surprised.
"I- yeah. He's Logan's son. They had some kind of fight so he's staying with me for a while. How do you know him?"
"We met him a while back," Remus sat down next to Roman. "I've texted him a lot recently. We're friends I think."
"That's nice," Patton picked up the jacket and folded it carefully. "He's actually the reason we might not be able to train regularly for a while. I don't really want him to find out about the whole hero thing. Do you want some cookies?"
"Chocolate chip?" Roman asked.
"Sure. I also have some hot chocolate if you want. You can go shower real quick while I make it, okay?"
"Okay, thanks, dad."
Roman went to shower first.
Virgil's dad was Patton's boyfriend. So Professor Youngblood was Logan.
Then they could cross him off the list of suspects too. From what he knew about Logan there was no way he was a supervillain. That was good. Now at least he could be sure that he wasn't crushing on a villain's son-
Roman let the warm water run over his body, soothing his aching muscles and warming his cold hands.
He finally shut the faucet and stepped out of the shower. His towel was the green one, Remus had taken the red. They switched after every wash.
Drying himself off Roman noticed a foundation lying by the sink. Also Virgil's.
Patton didn't use any.
He slipped into a shirt that had given him a headache when he'd seen it in the store and bought in a heartbeat and jeans before leaving the bathroom, letting Remus in.
The smell of warm milk already filled the apartment and Roman wandered over to the kitchen.
"Hi, kiddo," Patton greeted him, not daring to take his eyes off the pot of milk. "Feeling better now?"
"Yeah, the shower was nice."
Roman got out three plates and cups, and set them out on the dinner table.
"Can we come over after six tomorrow?" he asked after a whole.
"You can come over anytime you want," Patton answered.
"Nah, tomorrow is Monday - therapist day."
"Oh, right," Patton nodded. "And it ends at six?"
"Remus' does. Mine ends an hour earlier but we always go there together and whoever isn't talking to Doctor Picani is usually hanging out with his boyfriend, Remy. He's cool."
"I see. Just be careful on your way here. With how dark it already gets at six it might be dangerous. Don't take any shortcuts, okay?"
Okay, dad. We'll be careful," Roman smiled. Both at the fact that he wouldn't have to eat dinner at home - the tension between Ma and Dad was getting worse and worse with each day - and at the opportunity to see Virgil again.
---
The twins left a few hours later and Patton began to wonder where Virgil was.
It was dark out now and with every minute that went by Patton felt more and more worried. He checked his phone again.
No new messages.
If he was eating dinner with his friend he would have at least texted Patton right?
Are you on your way back, kiddo?
He hesitated a little before sending the text and put his phone down again.
He busied himself by getting out a skillet, cutting up a bit of garlic and roasting it.
He hoped Virgil liked salmon.
His phone vibrated on the table.
ill be there in twenty
Patton frowned and glanced out into the darkness. The street lamp in front of his apartment had burned out again.
Virgil was a clever boy. He'd be fine, Patton told himself.
---
Virgil struggled to pull out his phone and unlock it to read Patton's text.
Are you on your way back, kiddo?
"Ah, fuck," he glanced down at the person under him. He wasn't sure anymore whether they'd been male or female, he hadn't bothered to pay attention, and now it was a little hard to tell under the blood and wounds. He had remembered to make sure Janus was gone before killing and had completely forgotten that Patton would be waiting for him.
His gaze wandered over to the alleyway at the end of which he could see the river.
"Welp, I guess we'll have to cut this short," he told the person.
They whimpered past their broken jaw.
"You're still alive?" Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Damn, you really don't want to give in."
He stood up and grabbed their legs to drag them towards the river.
"Too bad. I hear drowning's one of the worst ways to die," he grunted, struggling with their weight. Their left arm stayed where it'd been lying which took off a little weight but they were still very big.
It took him about ten minutes to drag them to the river banks and with another good shove they fell in.
"Dammit, now I just still have to clean up myself."
He pulled out his phone again and managed to type a reply.
"Why does blood have to be this slippery," he mumbled and licked it off his fingertips. "Mhm. B positive."
Warnings: TS Deceit, Sympathetic Deceit (if I need to add anything, let me know)
Pairings: Analoceit, Background Royality, Remile and Joan/Talyn
Description: Soulmate!AU; a symbol of your soulmate is tattooed on your body in black ink. When you meet your soulmate it fills in with color
Word Count: 2,280
You can also find this story here on ao3
I wrote this story for @elfarmyenby
Virgil looked out the window, absentmindedly tapping his fingers against his leg. His father hummed along to the song playing on the radio, but he could hardly focus. High school was alright, filled with music and friends, but still he was missing something. Someone. Two someones, to be specific. He traced the black ink tattoos on his arms with his fingers, first the snake and dahlia on his left arm, then the hummingbird and lotus on his right. Soulmates. He had two soulmates; which wasn’t unheard of but wasn’t particularly common either. Maybe college is where he’d finally meet them.
He was so lost in thought that it took him awhile to realize his father was trying to get his attention. “Virgil? Kiddo, what’s on your mind?”
“Hmm? What? Oh, sorry, dad. I just am wondering if I’ll meet them. My soulmates, I mean.” The word made him feel melancholy; he wanted to know who the people he would come to love were. What they liked to do for fun, what kinds of food they liked, what music they listened to. If they’d be anything like Virgil imagined they’d be.
The car stopped at a light and his father looked at him over the top of his glasses. “Virgil, they’re going to love you. You’ll meet them soon, but it can’t be the only thing you’re working towards okay? You have to focus on school, work, and making friends too!”
Virgil nodded, running a hand through his short hair. He took a deep breath as the car lurched forward again. “I will, dad, don’t worry. I just… I thought for sure I’d meet them in high school. Most of my friends met their soulmates in high school. I didn’t.” He looked down at his tattoos again. What if he’d missed them somehow? What if he wasn’t driving towards his soulmates, but further and further away?
Patton seemed to sense his son’s worry and said, “Well, I didn’t meet your father until I was 24. I still remember the way his eyes lit up when he saw my tattoo fill in with color. He swept me off my feet, literally! He was so handsome; he still is! My Romeo.”
“Dad, gross!” Virgil laughed, and his dad did too. He loved his parents; they always had a way to brighten his mood when the storm clouds rolled in. His dad was right; he was gonna be okay. He had to have hope, right?
“How much longer until we get to the dorms?”
“Not too much longer, I don’t think. Maybe half an hour? Then we can get you all set up!”
Virgil nodded and went back to staring at the window. So much was happening in his life right now. He only hoped that all the steps he was taking would bring his soulmates into his life.
***
“Yes, dad, I have everything. I’m gonna fill up before I head out.” Logan said as he put the last of the boxes into his car.
Emile smiled, giving his son a hug. “Oh, I’m gonna miss you! You’ll call every day, right? And take care of yourself? Mental health is just as important as physical health, remember that. And if you need anything, anything at all, I’ll drive over. You know that, right?”
Logan let out a soft sigh and hugged back tightly before pulling away. “Yes, I promise I’ll call every day. I do know that my mental health is important; you’ve been telling me that my whole life.”
“I know, I just- you’ve never been away from home before! We homeschooled you, took you on trips, all together as a family. And now here you are, going off to college! I’m so proud of you, but I can’t help but worry. That’s what parents do.”
Logan adjusted his glasses, not sure where to look. His eyes fell on his tattoos and he smiled. They’d always been a source of comfort to him, a way to ground himself when the world got to be too much. “Dad, I’m going to be okay. I can do this. I have my stim toys and I remember all my grounding and coping techniques and I have you and dad on speed dial.”
He nodded and gave Logan one last hug. “Be safe on the road, and call when you get there okay? Bye, Logan!”
“I will, bye dad.” Logan got in his car and pulled out of the driveway. He only hesitated for a second before driving away. He was both excited and nervous, almost scared of what awaited him at college. But he couldn’t stay at home forever. He had to live his own life, follow his own path. Besides, he had two people to meet, and hopefully they were just as excited to meet him as he was to meet them.
***
Dee sighed as xe flopped back onto xyr bed. This was ridiculous. Why couldn’t xe just do this? “Just get up, you idiot, you have a dorm to get to.” Xe stared at xyr tattoos, lost in their patterns. Xe had always been intrigued by xyr tattoos; it was pretty uncommon to have more than one soulmate. Dee had two. One of the tattoos was a stack of books with a pair of glasses resting on top. The books covered a wide variety of subjects, from poetry to history to science. The other tattoo was simpler but no less curious; a pair of headphones surrounded by music notes.
Dee forced xemself to get up and get ready. Xe still needed to put the last of xyr boxes in the car, and drive up to the school. Maybe xyr soulmates were there. It was a bit troubling to xem that xe hadn’t met xyr soulmates yet. Xyr parents had found each other in high school, but Dee had graduated and hadn’t met either of xyr soulmates. Xe had gone to every music store, every library and bookshop in hopes of meeting them, but to no avail. College had to be it, right? Xe wished it to be true with all xyr might.
“Okay, I can do this,” xe muttered to xemself as they sat up. Grabbing a box of sketchbooks, xe headed to xyr car to finish loading up. Xyr parents had left for work for the day already but it wasn’t a huge deal since xe wasn’t even leaving the city for college.
Xe sent a quick text message to xyr parents letting them know xe was headed to the dorms before driving off. Xe took a deep breath and tried to think of who xyr soulmates might be, and hoped that whoever xyr two soulmates were, they’d love and accept xem for who xe was.
***
Virgil set down the last of his things. It had taken almost ten minutes to get his dad to leave. He knew his dad meant well, but still. It looked like he was the first to get there. The dorms were nice; he had chosen the room at the far end of the hall and hoped his roommates wouldn’t mind. He sat on the floor in the living room area and scrolled through Tumblr, having no real desire to unpack quite yet.
The front door opened a while later and Virgil looked up from his phone. A boy walked in, nearly stumbling as he crossed the threshold. Virgil stood to help the stranger, who was struggling with the boxes in his hands. “Whoa, hey let me help you with that.” Virgil grabbed the box on top and set it down onto the floor.
“Thank you for your help. My name is Logan, it’s nice to meet-” Logan stopped, words caught in his throat. Virgil had looked into Logan’s eyes and at that moment, their tattoos glowed softly before filling in with color. They each stared down at the ink, then each other again.
Virgil was the first to speak. “You… you’re my, we’re... “
“Soulmates.” Logan finished. Virgil blushed and nodded, smiling at the other boy. Virgil thought he was handsome, those bright blue eyes sparkling behind his glasses. He took everything in, not wanting to miss anything. He was tall, taller than Virgil by at least a few inches. He had some sort of medical bracelet on, and he looked utterly adorable in his black shirt and blue tie.
Logan was staring as well, which made Virgil blush an even deeper shade of red. He hoped Logan thought he was good looking, because Logan sure as hell was. Logan… “Oh hell, my name.”
“My name is Virgil, by the way.” He swept his dark hair out of his eyes. Logan smiled and said “Oh! Like the poet?” Virgil nodded.
“Yeah; my dads wanted something unique.”
“It suits you,” Logan said, and he gently took Virgil’s hand in his. Virgil looked down at their joined hands and smiled. Finally, a soulmate! He still felt that other piece missing, but even just having Logan there felt amazing, like a puzzle piece clicking into place.
“Do you mind if we compare tattoos? I’m curious to see what mine looks like.” Logan showed Virgil his arms, one tattoo colored and the other blank.
“Oh, yeah sure.” Virgil took in Logan’s tattoo, the one that symbolized him. It was a grand piano, with music sheets spread above it. “I love that; I’ve played piano ever since I was eight. I also really like playing guitar and drums, but I’m not as good at those yet.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. “Wow, you play three instruments? That’s incredible, you must be very talented.”
“Thank you,” Virgil replied. “I really like the tattoo that represents you. Do you like hummingbirds?” Virgil showed Logan the tattoo he had of a hummingbird flitting over a blue lotus. Logan adjusted his glasses.
“I do! They’re wonderful birds; did you know that they’re extremely smart? A hummingbird's brain is larger in comparison to body size than any other bird. Not to mention, they have a terrific memory. They know every flower in their territory and how long it will take each flower to refill; isn’t that fascinating?” Logan’s whole face lit up as he rambled about them, and Virgil listened happily. So one of his soulmates was an incredibly smart nerd; he could roll with that.
“I remember something about how they represent love and luck.” Virgil added once Logan was finished. “I looked it up, to see if maybe it could tell me something about who you’d be.”
“That makes logical sense; all flowers and animals have meaning. What about your other tattoo? For our other soulmate.” Logan held out his other arm, showing a sketchbook with a drawing of a snake, an ink pen beside it.
“Seems like they’re into art. Mine has a snake too, look.” Virgil showed Logan the tattoo of a snake wrapped around a dahlia.
“That is curious but makes sense. Snakes represent a creative life force, rebirth and transformation. I wonder when we’ll meet them. Perhaps they’re going to be our other roommate?”
Just then a car pulled up and parked. Virgil and Logan looked from the front door to each other and back again. “I guess we’re gonna find out, huh?”
Logan stood first and helped Virgil to his feet before heading out the front door. The two of them saw someone get out of the car. They held hands and waited, both of them hoping that this was their soulmate.
***
Dee parked the car and took a deep breath. Xyr nerves were completely shot at this point but xe knew xe needed to relax. Panicking would do xem no good; besides, there was no guarantee that xyr roommates would even be xyr soulmates. Still, xe knew xe had to prepare for the worst. “You just had to wear a skirt, didn’t you?” xe scolded xemself. It was too late now, so xe steeled xemself and got out of the car.
Xe saw two figures standing by the front door. Dee looked at them and waved. The shorter boy in the purple shirt nodded in return, and the taller one in the tie waved back. Dee gulped. They were both attractive, and he glanced at their joined hands. “Maybe they’re soulmates?” Dee walked up to them to introduce xemself.
“Hello, my name is December, but you can call me Dee if you want.” As xe moved closer, the boy in purple glanced at xyr tattoos. Dee noticed this and looked down, smoothing xyr skirt.
“It’s nice to meet you, December. I’m Logan, and this is my soulmate Virgil.” Dee looked back up and met first Virgil’s gaze, then Logan’s. Before anyone could say anything more, both Dee’s tattoos glowed, filling in with color.
Xe stared at xyr colorful tattoos and grinned. “You’re my soulmates. You’re my soulmates!!” Xe dashed up the steps and hugged Virgil and Logan, who hugged back tightly. It felt right, so right, but still Dee couldn’t shake that feeling of nervousness. Xe gently pulled away.
“Um, there is one thing I need to tell you both. Well technically two things…” Dee trailed off. Logan nodded, an encouragement to go on.
“What is it, Dee?” Virgil asked.
“I’m nonbinary trans, and I use xe/xem pronouns. Is that okay?” Dee bit xyr lip and waited for a response. Logan tilted his head and Virgil gave Dee’s hand a soft squeeze.
“December, that’s who you are. Of course it’s okay. You’re my soulmate; our soulmate. Nothing's gonna change that.”
Logan took Dee’s other hand and smiled. “I agree with Virgil. You have nothing to worry about.”
The three of them embraced once more, each of them finally feeling complete.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this story! Reblogs are greatly appreciated. Tell me what you think! If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my taglist, please let me know by sending me an ask. You can find me on ao3 at Storytelling_Sparrow. Thank you so much for your continued support!
Warnings: one curse word, use of ‘they’ to refer to a he/him character prior to knowing his pronouns, anxiety/worry, mentions of food, descriptions of food, mentions of poor eating habits, very brief mention of stealing, I think that’s everything? Let me know if there are more!
~~~~~
The halls of the palace were unlike anything Virgil had ever seen.
Roman led him through the castle, Virgil assumed to the dining room, dragging him along by his hand. The prince rambled as they walked, talking about the different rooms they passed, his parents, memories, sculptures on the walls, anything he could think of.
Virgil tried to listen--really, he did, but his ears slowly tuned out as they continued along, too distracted by looking around at the castle to listen properly.
It felt like they had been walking for an eternity. They’d left the previous room through large oak doors and walked down a long hallway with high ceilings. Virgil stared up at the paintings of landscapes and portraits that lined the walls. The floor was covered by a dark red carpet that made Virgil feel bad for walking on it with his dirty, worn shoes.
At some point, the pair had walked past a huge staircase that split off to the second floor. Roman talked about all the times he’d slid down the banister, much to the worry of his dads. His free hand moved wildly as he talked. There was a bright grin on his face, making his eyes crinkle in the corners, and Virgil spotted the dimple on his right cheek that only appeared on special occasions.
The prince’s excitement made Virgil smile. He’s so cute, Virgil thought. And I’m so fucked.
“And this is the dining room,” Roman said, throwing out a hand to gesture to another set of large doors.
Virgil bit his lip, looking up at Roman worriedly. “Are you sure we should do this? I could just go back to town.”
Roman stepped right in front of Virgil, grabbing his other hand as well. He stared deep into Virgil’s eyes, smiling wide. “V, I promise, this will be great. If it becomes too much, just let me know and we can stop.”
Virgil looked into Roman’s eyes. There was nothing but kindness and… something else there. He took a deep breath. “Okay,” Virgil said with a nod. “I trust you.”
Roman’s grin could battle a thousand suns.
“Do I have to bow, or something like that?” Virgil whispered after a moment.
Roman chuckled. “No, no bowing necessary. They’re normal people just like you and I.”
Virgil wasn’t sure it was right to compare someone like himself to the literal kings, but he kept quiet.
With a final squeeze of Virgil’s hands, Roman turned and pushed open the door.
Someone on the other side was laughing when the door creaked open. It sounded light and breathless, like the kind of laugh that leaves your sides aching. A quieter, deeper chuckle could be heard too, but that person sounded more like they were fondly laughing at the other person, rather than the joke itself.
Virgil peered around Roman’s shoulder. At the table sat three people. One of them was Logan, and the other two Virgil didn’t recognize, but one was wearing glasses. Logan was failing to smother a smile, and the person with glasses was the one laughing loudly.
They were also the first person to notice Roman and Virgil standing in the doorway.
“Oh, Ro, there you are!” they said with a smile, still laughing. As soon as they caught their breath, they walked over to the pair.
Virgil noted the faded “he/him” bracelet on the person’s wrist as he wrapped Roman in an embrace. His hair was honey brown and curly, and stopped just short of falling into his eyes.
The person blinked in surprise when he spotted Virgil. Despite the icy blue eyes behind his glasses, his gaze seemed warm.
“Well, hello there,” he said with a gentle smile, letting go of Roman. He glanced up at the prince. “Roman, would you quit being so rude and introduce your guest,” he teased.
Roman smiled. “Sorry, Dad. This is Virgil.”
“Virgil, it’s so nice to meet you,” the person said, holding out a hand. “I’m Roman’s dad, Emile, he/him.”
Virgil shook his hand awkwardly. He inwardly cringed at how sweaty his palms must be, but Emile didn’t appear to notice. “Right, sir, thank you. I’m, uh, I’m Virgil. Like Roman said.” Great job, Virgil. Really flawless first impression.
Emile just smiled kindly. He kind of reminded Virgil of Patton.
“You must be the Virgil that Roman’s been sneaking out of the castle to visit,” the other person said, walking up behind Emile.
Roman flushed. “Dad, how did you--”
“Oh, please, gurl, did you really think we wouldn’t notice? You go missing for hours, just like when you were younger. Then you come back looking all lovesick. It’s truly disgusting to see,” he said with a smirk. It was Virgil’s turn to flush.
“Sir, I didn’t mean to--” Virgil started.
“Don’t worry about it, honey,” Emile cut in. “He’s just being silly.” He turned to give a stern look to the other man, putting a hand on his hip.
Roman gave Virgil an ‘I told you so’ look, making Virgil smile.
“Babe, blowing my cover like that is so not cool,” the man pouted to Emile.
“It’s not nice to scare our guest like that either,” Emile shot back.
The person sighed loudly. “Fiiiine.” He held out a hand to Virgil. “‘Sup, I’m Remy, Roman’s other, much cooler dad.” Emile just shook his head with a fond smile.
Virgil shook Remy’s hand. “It’s a pleasure, sir.” He mentally cursed the shakiness of his voice.
The group wandered back over to the table and sat down. Thankfully, Emile made sure to not address Virgil directly. Virgil appreciated that, since he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get more than a sentence out before choking on the anxiety lacing his throat.
Emile asked Roman questions about how they met and what they usually did, all of which Roman answered with a smile.
The conversation continued until dinner was served. The amount of food in the feast made Virgil’s jaw drop. He’d never seen so much food in one place at a time. He took a hearty serving of mashed potatoes and green beans and ham, and was barely able to conceal the content sound that left his mouth at the delicious flavors. After years of getting scraps from kind townspeople, stealing food from unassuming carts, and the occasional small meal from the town’s inn, the food tasted heavenly. The cake for dessert was almost literally the cherry on top.
“So, Virgil,” Emile said as the table was cleared. “Are you staying here tonight? Should I have the guest room set up?”
Virgil glanced to the side at Roman. Roman cleared his throat. “Actually, we haven’t discussed whether Virgil would be staying in the castle or not.”
Emile and Remy glanced between the two of them, then at each other. They looked like they were having a silent conversation. With a nod, Emile turned back to Virgil, smiling.
“Oh, I’m sorry. We hadn’t realized.”
“Hun, you got a place to stay?” Remy asked with a raised eyebrow.
Virgil looked down at his hands, blushing. “Well, I don’t--not--I mean I could--” He took a deep breath. “No. No, I don’t.” He glanced up quickly, expecting to see judgement in their eyes. Instead, he just saw inviting kindness. “You don’t have to, like, take me in, though. I don’t want to bother you.”
Emile shook his head. “No, dear, it’s no bother at all. We’d love to have you stay here for as long as you want. Lord knows we have the room for it,” he added with a chuckle.
Roman squeezed Virgil’s hand beneath the table, which he’d been holding ever since they sat down. Virgil looked over at him. “I would love to have you here,” Roman said softly, smiling.
Even though he was still hesitant, Virgil agreed to stay in the castle. He didn’t want to be a burden to the family, but all of them seemed like they genuinely wanted him there.
After dinner, Roman followed Remy to a side room with a promise to visit Virgil after his lesson, and Logan excused himself to meet Patton.
Virgil followed Emile upstairs and down another long corridor to his room. Along the way, Emile pointed out different rooms, much like Roman had done during their trek to the dining room. He also explained the backstory behind some of the pictures on the walls that Virgil had stared at. However, Emile fell silent when they came upon a particular picture with three little boys--as opposed to the typical one or two that Virgil had observed in the other photos--playing in the castle’s garden. Offering no explanation, he just smiled sadly. Virgil didn’t ask any questions. The rest of the walk to his room was silent.
The guest room was nearly bigger than his childhood home. It had a big bed with gray sheets and blue pillows, a large plush chair beside a wooden chest of drawers, a desk, two bedside tables, and two doors leading to the adjoining bathroom and walk-in closet.
Virgil did a little twirl in the middle of the room, taking it all in with child-like wonder. Emile watched from the doorway with a smile. “Bit overwhelming, isn’t it?”
Virgil whipped his head around. “What?”
“All of this,” Emile gestured around the room, pushing himself off of the doorway. “It’s a lot, right? Takes some getting used to.”
Virgil tilted his head slightly. “You mean you haven’t always lived in the castle?”
Emile giggled. “Goodness, no.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, patting the spot beside him. Virgil hesitantly sat down. “I was born in another town, not even the one right outside the palace. I never knew my father, so I needed a job to support me and my mother once I turned sixteen. I got a job as a worker in the castle garden. Remy flirted with me from the first day he saw me, and I would always laugh it off. Then, one day, I flirted back. It was the funniest thing, he got so flustered!” Emile laughed and Virgil couldn’t help but let out his own chuckle. “Rem’s been there for me through a lot. He even got me this bracelet,” he lifted his wrist, ”when I first came out, when we were eighteen, so that people wouldn’t misgender me. He’s always been supportive. I couldn’t have found a better partner for me.”
“That’s really sweet.”
“Yeah,” Emile said, turning to face Virgil. “All that to say, I know how it feels to be shocked by the grandness of the castle. It takes some getting used to.”
“Thank you,” Virgil said, looking down and letting his hair hide his eyes.
“I also know what it feels like to have a crush on a prince,” Emile said teasingly, nudging Virgil with his elbow.
Virgil was sure his face was redder than a tomato. “I--I don’t know what you mean.” Yeah, that sounded really convincing.
Emile smirked, standing up. “Mhm, Virgil. Sure you don’t.” Virgil groaned into his hands, making Emile laugh. “It’s alright, I won’t tell anyone.” He made his way back to the doorway. “Roman’s room is the one right across the hall. I think Patton will send up some clothes after he’s done talking to Logan, but if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs, first door on the left. Don’t be afraid to talk to me or Remy.”
“Thank you, really.” Virgil didn’t know how he could ever repay them.
Almost like he read his mind, Emile said, “Don’t worry about repaying us.” Emile giggled at the look on Virgil’s face. “Roman has been happier in the few months that he’s been meeting with you than he’s been in a while. That’s all the payment Remy and I could ask for.”
Virgil flushed again (he seemed to be doing that a lot lately…) and nodded.
“Roman’ll probably be up here soon enough. Make good choices,” Emile added with a wink. His laughter echoed down the hallway as he walked away, leaving Virgil hiding behind his hands on the bed.
Someone knocked on the door a few minutes later. Virgil peeked out between his fingers.
“Hi there, kiddo!” Patton waved from the doorway, wearing a hesitant smile.
“Hi,” Virgil said, hands falling onto the bed with a soft thud. “Patton, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me.” Patton chuckled. He stepped into the room. In his arms there was a pile of folded clothes, which he walked up and dropped onto the bed.
“These are all for me?” Virgil asked, staring at the pile.
“Yuperino, kiddo,” Patton replied, pushing his curls away from his forehead and adjusting his glasses before they slipped off his nose. “Roman told me we’re the same age, but you’re smaller than I am, so these are actually some of my older clothes. Sorry if they’re still a bit big on you.”
Patton was by no means a large man, but he was right. He had a little extra chub and curve, whereas Virgil was maybe just a tad too skinny. After years of living on the streets, it had taken its toll on his eating habits. But if he would be eating the way he had that night for the foreseeable future, that would probably change.
“It’s mostly sweaters and t-shirts,” Patton said, pulling some stuff out of the pile. “There’s pants, of course, and I threw in a skirt and a dress too, since I don’t really know what you like.” Virgil nodded, looking through the clothes as well. “I wasn’t sure how long you’d be staying for, so I brought quite a few. They might be a little… bright for your tastes, I hope you don’t mind.”
Again, Patton was right. Virgil preferred to wear blacks and purples--it helped him hide in the shadows easier--and most of these clothes were colorful and covered by designs. Still, he just shrugged. “It’s alright, Patton. Thank you.”
Patton shot him a big grin. “Of course! Actually, I had a question for you, but it’s alright if you don’t want to answer.”
That didn’t sound promising. Despite the worried thoughts that drifted through Virgil’s head, he motioned for Patton to continue.
“Well, I just realized earlier that you looked kinda familiar.” Patton pushed his glasses up again. “I remember seeing you down at the bakery.”
Wait, what? Virgil blinked at Patton. “Huh?”
Patton laughed. “Well, my parents own the bakery in town. Didn’t you used to go down there for breakfast every morning?”
The bakery? “Your parents? You’re Dot and Larry’s son?” Virgil asked.
“Yeah, yeah, I am!”
Actually, now that Patton mentioned it, Virgil did kind of recognize him. He distantly remembered seeing Patton behind the counter or leaving the bakery sometimes. “Oh.”
Patton laughed again. “Yeah, crazy, right? Well, I’ll leave you to it, kiddo.” He stood up. “I knew you looked familiar!” With a final smile and wave, Patton walked out and disappeared down the hallway.
Virgil let out a breath and flopped back onto the bed. His eyes traced the intricate design on the ceiling.
What am I getting myself into? He asked himself. Whatever it was, part of him thought that maybe everything would turn out alright. With a sigh, he let his eyes slip shut.
~~~~~
A/N: Sorry it’s been so long. Like, a whole month. I know I said it wouldn’t be too long, but I procrastinate a lot. I hope you enjoyed this though! I’d say it won’t be long til the next one, but, well, I won’t make a promise I can’t keep. But I hope to see ya there... eventually lol
Prince of My Heart AU Taglist (ask to be added or removed):
I came up with the Single Dad AU a while ago but it’s never emerged from Discord to become a full story, but I love it very, very much. So thank you, nonny, for the excuse <3
Read on Ao3
“Give it back!”
“No, Dad said it’s my turn to pick the movie!”
“You always pick the same one! I’m tired of Winnie the Pooh!”
“But I like it!”
“Can we at least watch the Tigger one?”
“No! Pooh Bear!”
Young voices whined back and forth in an argument that had been held at least once a week for the last three months in the Sanders household. Six-year-old Patton was climbing on top of the couch cushions, brandishing the remote as eight-year-old Roman tried to reclaim it. Their younger brother, four-year-old Logan, watched from the corner in silence.
Their dad entered the room and, with practiced ease, plucked Patton from his teetering perch on the couch.
“Hey, hey, buddy, careful, okay? You might fall from up there!”
“Daaddd, Ro is trying to take my night again!”
The single father balanced his middle son on his hip as he looked sternly down his eldest.
“Roman, what have we talked about with movie nights?”
The second-grader sighed heavily, crossing his arms. “He gets to pick whatever movie he wants,” he recited, blowing strawberry blonde hair out of his eyes. “Even if it’s boring.”
“Pooh Bear isn’t boring!” Patton objected loudly, making his father wince from the volume.
“Is too!”
“Is not!”
“Boys. We will skip movie night entirely if you can’t behave,” Dad warned. Both children immediately went silent, but stuck tongues out at each other when they thought Dad couldn’t see.
“I’m going on an adventure, so that at least not all of today is boring,” Roman announced, running to the toy box for his tiny foam sword. “Where’s my noble steed?”
“I wanna come!” Patton cried, wriggling out of his father’s hold. Taking the remote back, Dad let him go as a small smile crept up at the corners of his mouth. How quickly they went from feuding to playing.
“Let’s go slay a dragon!” Roman cried, stabbing the air.
“What if we fight a witch?” said Patton with huge eyes, grabbing his matching foam shield.
“A dragon-witch!” Roman announced happily. “Lolo, wanna come?”
The youngest looked at the floor through glasses he already needed. “…don’ wanna”
“Aw, Lolo, you sure?”
“…scary,” the toddler said.
“We’ll protect you,” Patton said, crouching to look in his brother’s eyes. “Roro is the best knight ever! And I have a shield!”
Logan shook his head. Patton sighed and carefully patted his hand. “Next time? But only if you wanna, okay?”
Satisfied at the small nod, Patton trotted upstairs. Roman cast around before crouching behind the couch. “Ah! My steed!” he said happily. He stood with a cat in his arms. The tom bore being carried with long-suffering patience, held around the middle by small arms that could only just make it all the way around.
“Ro, be careful with Thomas, okay?” Dad warned. “Pat’s taken his medicine, but don’t let him bury his face in fur again.”
“Yes, I’ll be careful,” Roman said with all the indignance a eight-year-old could muster. He jauntily strode up the stairs after his brother, arms full of cat and sword.
His father watched him go as he settled on the couch. Logan crawled up into his lap and settled there, sitting up straight but balanced on his dad’s knee.
“Hey there, L. No adventure today?”
Logan shook his head.
“Just don’t want to, or something wrong?”
The little boy was silent.
“How is touching today? Thumbs up?” his dad asked, hand creating the gesture he referred to. His son responded in kind. Moving slowly, Dad pulled Logan into his chest, resting a hand lightly in the boy’s dark brown hair.
“Do you have the words for the something wrong, or is it just bad?” he asked softly.
“…miss Papa,” Logan replied, turning his head fully into Dad’s chest.
His father kissed the top of his head and held him close. He knew of his son’s tears from the dampness on his shirt rather than any sounds or shaking. When he could finally speak evenly, he replied, “I miss him too, Lolo.”
“When does he come back?”
“Maybe never.”
“Why?”
“I wish I knew, kiddo. I’m sorry I can’t give you a good reason.”
Logan clutched at the fabric of Dad’s shirt, still not looking up.
His father kissed his head again and leaned back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling as he blinked away tears. He was so tired of crying, so tired of knowing neither he nor his sons might ever understand why their other father had left. But it had been months without any communication, since they came home from the park to an empty house and a missing suitcase.
Three young boys, one beloved cat, one father who’d just lost the love of his life and his partner parent all at once. That was the Sanders household now. A night of childish yells and tears from the boys and their father alike: this was an ordinary night.
So how was Dad doing? He was a nervous wreck, of course. If he’d been a bit on edge before, it was nothing compared to the absolute personification of anxiety Virgil had become now.
As he breathed deeply to calm himself, Virgil ran a hand lightly through Logan’s soft, wavy hair. “What do you say to some Magic School Bus before dinner, Lo? Would that be good?”
“Mmhmm,” the toddler said with a nod, sliding off his dad’s lap.
As Virgil stood, Logan reached for his hand and pulled him towards the stairs. Virgil let himself be led to the smallest bedroom, where Logan immediately went to his small but growing book collection. He pulled out a CD that Virgil then placed in the small speakers he’d bought, back when he and his ex had adopted Roman. The “Baby Boombox,” Ethan had called it, as he filled Ro’s room with all his favorite Broadway soundtracks and Disney ballads. Then had come Patton, with Raffi songs and lullabies because they were the only things that would send him to sleep smiling when Roman was still active during naptime. And now there was Logan, who was soothed by the smooth strains of classical musicals and who listened with rapt attention (if not complete understanding) to audiobooks of all kinds. Virgil popped in Logan’s choice, “Lost in Space” and set it to play. Logan scooted his tiny plush chair as close as he could to the speaker and sat, staring up in wonder as his favorite narrator read about Ms. Frizzle’s class and whirling planets. Without interrupting, Virgil slipped out of his youngest son’s room and made his way to the kitchen to start dinner.
The pasta was cooking and the sauce bubbling on the stove when Virgil’s phone buzzed against the counter. He glanced at the screen and smiled.
If the past year had taught him anything, it was just how important family could be. He and his brother use to have a rather rocky relationship, never spending much time together. Unfortunately, Ethan had been part of the reason for the rift - Remy had never liked his brother-in-law and was never any good at hiding it. Normally when he was proven right about anything, Remy held it over his younger brother’s head for the rest of their lives. But not this time. Not when they’d sparked into full-on screaming matches over the years as Virgil asserted that Remy was wrong about Ethan. He was a good partner and an amazing father. He’d even said it, hadn’t he? His biggest ambition in life was to be a good papa.
Guess that had been a lie, too.
But no amount of friction and distance could have kept Remy away the night Virgil had called in tears. “Nuncle” Remy had been a near-constant fixture in the Sanders house ever since, particularly in those first couple of months. It had been Remy who’d suggested Virgil get the boys to therapists early, right after the split. It had been Remy’s husband Emile who’d found them matches among his colleagues, ones who made the boys feel safe and heard. It had been those therapists who discovered the reason behind Roman’s mood swings, identifying his bipolar personality disorder early and helping Virgil to get him the appropriate treatment. It had been Emile who’d cautiously suggested he get Logan fully evaluated for autism, and found him compassionate parenting resources to help relate and communicate with Lo better. Virgil would be a wreck without his brother and brother-in-law – or, rather, he’d be more of a wreck.
Which is why, when Logan went missing, Remy was the instinctual first call.
He’d heard Roman and Patton bounce down the stairs into the den, making dramatic sound effects as they fought their dragon-witch. He hadn’t heard the door open, or the soft steps of Logan following his brothers downstairs. He hadn’t seen Thomathy the tomcat be loosed into the yard as Roman cried, “Ride into the sunset, noble steed!” He hadn’t seen Logan stand on his tiptoes to re-open the door and follow the cat outdoors.
He’d just called for the older two boys and gone upstairs to get Logan when he’d found the CD player off and the chair empty. And that’s when the panic had kicked in.
“Lolo?” he called upstairs.
“Buddy?” he asked the den.
“Logan?!” he almost screeched into the basement.
Roman and Patton were obediently sitting at the kitchen table, fidgeting, when Virgil re-entered, eyes ablaze. “Where’s your brother? Was he playing with you?”
“No, he was too scared,” Roman scoffed.
Patton, on the other hand, looked concerned. “I think maybe he followed us? He was trying to pet Tommy.”
“Where is Thomas?” their father asked, the edge in his voice rising. “You were playing with him, where did he go?”
Roman shrank in his seat as he realized this was more than just make-believe. “He… I wanted him to be free?” He pointed to the back door with a shaky hand.
Virgil stared at his eldest son, biting back harsh words of frustration. He was eight, he didn’t know better yet. But the panic was rising, thrumming through his veins and disrupting his ability to think straight.
He grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial to Remy.
“Rem? I need you here,” he said the minute his brother picked up. “Logan got out of the house chasing the cat.”
“Shit, okay, I’ll be there in 5,” Remy said, already hanging up before Virgil could point out that he lived a ten-minute drive away. He arrived in three. Normally his driving habits pissed Virgil the hell off, but at that moment, it was all he can do to not cry in relief as he grabbed a flashlight and his extensive first aid kit from under the sink and ran out the back door.
Remy was soon placing himself bodily in front of the door to prevent either older brother from charging after.
“I’m a bad prince, I’m the villain,” Roman choked out through his tears. “It’s all my fault.”
“I gotta keep him safe!” Patton said. He tried and failed to climb onto the counter, but grabbed what ‘supplies’ he could reach into his school bag, a collection of juiceboxes and goldfish and band-aids.
“Hey, hey, little dudes, c’mon,” Remy said, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “C’mere.”
They were just small enough and he was just big enough to gather them both into his arms at once, even as they wriggled and tried to escape.
“Dad’s gonna get Lo back, okay? They’ll both be back soon,” he said, carrying the boys to the couch. “And Tomma-llama-ding-dong too.” He placed them both on the couch. They were both red-eyed and drippy-noed, but no longer trying to make a break for it. He grabbed tissues and wiped their faces and noses, moving gently. He watched Roman particularly hard. He’d been present for downward spirals before, when the mania and hyperactivity fell, gradually or suddenly, into dark days where the boy could barely get out of bed.
Remy ran soft fingers through Roman’s light hair, remembering. The worst depressive episode had lasted a full week and a half, and Virgil had been despondent. It was right after that bastard Virgil’s ex had walked out on them, and of course Virgil had blamed himself, telling Remy that Ro’s depression was all his fault for not being a good enough father. He would have curled up around his boy and begged him to be okay, if Remy hadn’t sat on his chest reminded him that he had two other sons that needed him. Childish? Yes, quite literally, sitting on him was Remy’s favorite way of picking on his little brother when they had been children themselves. But it had worked, and Roman was getting treatment now, both medications and therapy, and both his uncles and his dad had learned strategies to help keep him from getting trapped in his up- and down-swings.
Now, Patton imitated Remy, patting a slightly-stick hand on Roman’s shoulder in a sweet attempt at grounding techniques. More than any of the boys, Patton took after Virgil, always trying to keep his brothers safe. He was fierce in his defense of them towards others, but gentle and soft when he saw them sad. Remy ruffled Patton’s honey-gold curls with his free hand and stood. He had Roman and Patton Sanders in his care, and they were sad and worried. It was time for some Disney movies.
The sun was falling below the horizon as Logan followed the family cat into the woods behind their house. He trotted as fast as his still-chubby toddler legs could carry him, following the brown-and-black striped tail of the big tabby. Galloping paws quickly carried the pet out of sight, but Logan kept plodding along in the same vague direction. Scarcely noticing the growing dark, he clutched his worn, stuffed octopus tightly in one hand as he walked further and further into the forest. When Papa had asked when he wanted to name it, he’d looked up and said “Octopus.” His tone had been one of “Well, duh,” and his voice had been so deadpan for a three-year-old that Virgil had fallen into intermittent fits of giggles for hours after. But he’d carried it continuously ever since, particularly as he listened to his books on the deep sea. He clutched it tight as he finally caught up to Thomas. The tabby had found a mossy patch under a tree, caught in the last patch of sunlight, and curled up contently. Logan sat next to him and patted his head, content that he’d finally done what he set out to do. But looking up, the toddler realized he could no longer see the edge of the forest and wasn’t sure which direction he’d come from. He was in the middle of the forest, alone, with no notion of how to get home. Logan didn’t cry, or yell, or flail. He just froze, everything locking down in the face of a situation he didn’t understand and couldn’t solve. He might have stood like that for minutes or hours, but Thomcat chose that moment to stand with a stretch and wind his way around his smallest family member, purring as he rubbed up against Logan’s short legs. The warmth drew him out of his paralysis, and he sat heavily on the mossy stump. The cat leapt into his lap, covering most of his tiny torso in warm fur as the beloved pet continued to purr. Clutching tufts of Thomas’ fur in one hand and Octopus in the other, Logan’s emotions thawed and he started to sniffle, then cry aloud. His hiccups and sobs reverberated off the unfamiliar trees that surrounded him.
Virgil crashed through the trees, flashlight and first aid kit in hand, trying his best to keep a level head. Logan was missing. His little boy, the tiniest, quietest member of their family, was alone, somewhere probably dying in the forest definitely kidnapped by child stealers lost in the unfriendly woods. He’d made that promise, over and over again through the long adoption process: he would keep his sons safe. He would protect them. He wouldn’t let anything dangerous happen to them. Ethan may not have meant it, but Virgil had, with every fiber of his being. He would keep his family safe, every single member.
He trusted Remy to be a good caretaker to Pat and Ro right now, but he worried for his eldest. He just dashed into ideas and plans without thinking, so much more than either of his brothers. And of course, Virgil knew why. A memory sprang to life like a film reel in his head without his bidding.
“Papa, look at me! I’m gonna be just like Peter Pan! I can fly!”
“Of course you can, Roro! If you wish hard enough!”
A summer day, lazy and bathed in golden light. It had been magical in a way - no wonder Roman had believed in super abilities. But that moment, Virgil had finally seen what was happening as he rounded the corner, an infant Logan strapped to his chest and Patton holding his hand.
“Fly- Roro! Kiddo, please get down from the roof!”
Ethan had just chuckled. “Shhh, V, he’ll probably be fine. He’s gotta learn somehow, right?”
Patton, all of three years old and still lisping, had shook a finger at his older brother.
“Wowo, get down fwom thewe!”
“You can’t stop me, ‘m a PRINCE!” the five-year-old had yelled back, approaching the edge of the shed roof.
Virgil had dropped Pat’s hand to run, shrieking more than speaking as he yelled, “Roman Sanders, do not jump off that roof! You’re going to get down safely!”
Ethan had barely budged, too busy laughing his ass off. It had ended up being Virgil alone who helped Roman get down, letting him be Dad the Downer while Papa stayed ‘the fun one’ in Roman’s eyes. Was it any wonder he’d blamed himself for Ro’s bipolar swings?
But he’d learned better since then. Being a ‘fun’ dad didn’t matter at all if he couldn’t keep them safe, first and foremost. He would find his little boy, and their cat, and he would bring them home. He checked his first aid kit as he walked and sighed with relief. He’d remembered to re-stock it recently. In addition to the bandages and ice packs and ointments and band-aids in everyone’s favorite characters, he’d packed everyone’s favorite treats. He had cat treats for Thomas, which he immediately took out and started wafting, and he had tiny containers of Crofter’s jelly, Logan’s only favorite food that he always wanted to eat, no matter his mood. Virgil listened to the forest hard for any noise besides the rustling wind. He had his flashlight turned on even before the sun fully set, to make sure Logan would see him coming. His heart still raced, frantically pointing out every passing second and minute that his son remained missing. Every moment he was out here was another moment he could be tripping over roots or eating poisonous berries or getting a rash or being abducted or hitting his head or…
Deep breaths, Virge, he reminded himself. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. The calming reminders in his head spoke with Emile’s voice, gentle and soothing. He could only do his job as Dad if he kept his head and stayed alert. He listened hard again, noting small animals, leaves falling, choked sobs, branches cracking, distant cars, and -
Sobs! Where were they coming from?
He picked up his pace, needing to double back a couple times before he was heading in the direction of the noise. He swept his flashlight in front of him with one hand and shook the cat treats with the other as he called out.
“Logan? Is that you? Logan? Thomas?”
The sobs stopped abruptly, and the flashlight beam illuminated a tiny form unraveling itself from a fluffy one almost the same size. “Dada?”
Virgil sprinted the last few yards. He worried for a moment that Logan might need to avoid touch right now, but that fear was dispelled with the toddler threw himself into his father’s arms.
“Lolo, are you alright? I was so worried, kiddo! Did you hurt yourself? Were you scared? I’m here, I’ll get you home, okay?”
“Dada, ‘m sorry.”
“Why sorry, Loberry?”
“I was bad, an’ I got lost,” Logan said, gripping Virgil’s jacket and Octopus with equal tightness.
“Oh, my little Lo, no, you weren’t bad. We should have been with you, I should have been watching. I’m so sorry, honeybear. But you’re safe now, okay? We’re gonna go home.”
Virgil knelt, picking up Logan and balancing him on one hip, then picking up a long-suffering Thomas and draping the cat over his shoulder. He was a bit encumbered by his first aid kit, but nothing could bother him now that his little boy was safely in his arms.
Searching for Logan had felt like an eternity, but had been less than 20 minutes. When father and son and cat entered the back door, the Disney movie (Sleeping Beauty, Remy’s choice) hadn’t yet finished. The door closing woke up Roman and Patton from where they had dozed off, but they were immediately up and hugging Virgil’s legs.
Their father ruffled their heads as he gentled let Logan stand on his own, then pulled them all into a group hug.
“We’re gonna talk tomorrow, okay, kiddos? About Thomas safety and Lolo safety. But tonight we’ll just relax together, now that we’re all home. I love you all so much.”
“I love you, Dad”
“Love you too!”
“Me too, Dada.”
By the end of the night and the second movie (Atlantis, Logan’s request, and Patton had conceded that he didn’t want any movies with woods), the Sanders house had quieted. Virgil could feel his heartbeat return to normal for the first time in hours as he gazed fondly at his sons. All three had fallen asleep, sprawled across the couch and Virgil’s lap. Remy had helped them change before heading home with a last firm hug and reassurance that, “You done good, bro.” Logan’s head rested on Virgil’s thigh, the horn of his unicorn onesie flopping over as he slept. Patton was snuggled up as close as Logan had okayed, cat ears folded over on his one onesie. And Roman had pulled a pillow on the ground so that he could be next to all of them, a tiny lion defending his pride in the onesie that he was practically “too old for,” but that he’d still wear when Pat asked him to. Thomas the tomcat, exhausted by his forest adventure, was curled into a ball in a laundry basket.
So how was Dad doing?
He’d never be completely at ease, not with so much depending on him, not with so many obstacles to overcome. But for tonight, Virgil was content.
