Signs you have a bad web designer
I put some thought into all of the initial client consultation meetings that I’ve had over the years and am still amazed at some of the bad experiences I’ve heard businesses go through to have a website built.
In the spirit of good humour I’ve created a list of things that a business owner does not want to hear from a website designer or developer, or who some have aptly named “the web dude”.
“You need to jump on [insert name of current web 2.0-social-interweb-marketing scheme here] so that you can dominate the market and make wheelbarrows full of cash now.”
“I can’t help you because I’m at my full-time job 16 hours of the day. Call me at 11 p.m. tonight.”
”I’m not sure what to suggest to you—can’t you just tell me what you want and I’ll build it?”
“Sorry your website has taken 6 months too long to build. I was sick, on vacation, tending sheep and solving the world’s problems—you aren’t my only priority.”
“We can build your website for $99 in 2 days. We have an expert team nestled away in the jungles of Malaysia waiting to serve your every need.”
“We can’t add that 20x20 pixel graphic to your website—it’s out of scope.”
“We don’t take support calls or emails. Please submit your request to our 50-step automated robo-support system. When we’ve read your ticket, we’ll let you know. Your expected wait time is 2-3 weeks.”
“We can’t show you our portfolio of work, but we do have 185 twitter followers and 44 Facebook likes.”
“iF YoU donT payzz meeee nOw i gonnaz p0wn you n00b.”
“Just download this template and plug in your logo. Bam. Done.”
“Our CMS is easy—you can just edit your website in Microsoft Word.“
For some other fascinating and horrifying stories of client and website designer relations visit theoatmeal.com and clientsfromhell.net/ for more laughs.
Feel free to comment and add any other quotes you have from the “web designer from hell”.
Have a great 2011 everyone!
