#bad post?

[mechanical-empress]

[BLAM]

ME: unfortunately for you my dear adversary, I have already blown my fucking brains across the walls, there is no way you can kill me now! Mwahahaha!

HERO OF LIGHT: w wh w what the fuck how are you [dry heave] how are you talking how are yoi. what the fuck is happening this isn't how it's supposed to be

ME [my gruesome, mangled face grins with all the remaining sinews it has]: come great warrior! there is no need for us to fight anymore no? let us get lo mein together

HERO OF LIGHT: *takes gun from my undead hands and places barrel in mouth, tears welling in eyes* [BLAM]

ME: absolutely NO ONE wants to get lo mein with me!!

[s0litair3]

i like the dentist because i like having a beautiful woman stick her fingers in my mouth feel around and then praise/degrade me accordingly

[helsex]

Push to start buttons in cars are so unsexy. Let me stick the key in and crank that thang. OK?

[heatwa-ves]

Glass animals bracelet stays ON during sex

[starterhorse]

yall i wish sabine would look at me like that

[tchaikovskym]

i feel like i've become more evil and insufferable over time so this is just the occasional reminder that everyone is free to unfollow me and block me :)

also like if you need me to tag something feel free to let me know i thought it was obvious but i am making it more obvious

[aggressionbread]

do not ask for who the super locks, it locks for thee