#bad thor

[girlbossk]

fuck you, thor

[askskrall]

vengefulnature started following you

Hera! (Thor smiled and clapped the goddess on the back.) Nice to see you came down from your hill, you sexy bitch.

[bisexualpirateheart]

sarah1281 replied to your post: I….was editing the last chapter and then the power...

…Me, too.

It didn't. :( FUCK. Okay, it'll be a little bit longer. Sorry, people.

*shakes fist at Thor*

[horrificpotatoes]

Bad Thor

Characters

Carrow~Lyne Vertigre Romanov who also goes by the name "Superpowers Romanov" because she has all the superpowers - Gemini is her secret middle name because she has a twin sister with all the same superpowers plus that one no-one ever knew about

(and all the avengers you already know them

Book 1, Chapter One, Part i

All the Avengers were eating scharmwa and the Hulk had turned back into Ed Norton again because what kind of a name is Ruffalo anyway it's like a potato chip. Tony Stark was looking lovingly into Phil Coulson's eyes and was so happy that Loki brought him back to life so they could start a family together. 

"Maybe this Loki guy wasn't so bad?" Tony thought. 

Thor heard his thoughts because Thor was a god and got mad. Loki smiled at him across a table, his adorably big puppy dog eyes heart-meltingly glowing at the sight of the happy couple. Loki ate his swarmah all except the meat bits because Loki is a vegetarian meat is murder.

Captain America sipped his shwarama but almost spit it everywhere as he guffawed at a funny joke Loki said and asked Natasha what she was doing after they ate all their shewrma.

"I'm going to see my little sister," she bubbled with family pride suddenly filling her entire face, "She was busy in school today which is why she didn't help out with the aliens."

"Pffftttttttt," Thor brazenly grumbled, spitting bits of meat everywhere, "What could a *Girl* do?"

Natasha's eyes filled with egalitarianly feminist rage.

"A lot more than you, hammerpants," she yelped.

"Quiet, Thor," Tony hummed, "You're really mean and if you don't stop I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Tony's right," Captain America agreed, "We want to hear more about Natasha's sister! She sounds interesting!!"

"Her name is Carrow~Lyne Vertigre Romanov and she's my favourite sister. She has a British accent and surfs professionally but is totally humble about it. She also plays piano pretty good."

"Wow! What powers does she have?!" Tony asked, winking at Phil Coulson.

"All of them!" Natasha gleefully rumbled.

"They should call her Superpowers Romanov!" the Hulk quipped.

Everybody laughed. Except Thor.

"They do, actually," Natasha replied, pulling out a newspaper with Carrow~Lyne on the cover. It said Superpowers Romanov Named Mayor Of Australia and had a picture of her on the page. She was really pretty even more so than Natasha and almost as much as Loki.

"Wait!" the Hulk realized. "I didn't realize we were talking about THAT Superpowers Romanov?!"

"Do you know her?" Natasha enunciated.

"We dated for a while but she thought I was boring because of my science. Even though she's really good at math."

"And math is hard," Tony Stark informed.

"Wait!" Captain America realized. "I think I knew a Carrow~Lyne Vertigre Romanov when I was in high school. She played guitar in a Disturbed tribute band. They were amazingly good!"

"That band broke up because they were just too good. All their instruments exploded under the strain."

"That's too bad," Loki replied, "I'd bet a million Asgardollars that they were exquisitely fantastic."

His voice was like chocolate in your ears.

---------------------Book 1, Chapter Two, Part i-----------------

So later when the Avengers stopped eating swarmba, Thor put a muzzle on Loki and took him back to Asgard. This was the first time Loki had been back since Thor dropped him into the abyss at the end of the movie and he was not happy to see what his brother had done to his old home. (His mother was trying to clean off the LOKI SUCKS graffiti from the wall of a pizza place while Loki looked on with egalitarianly maternal sadness filling his eyes.

"Mother," he called out, "Do you want me to help?"

Thor punched him.)

"I wish I was adopted," Loki sighed, "But everybody knows that the frost giant bit was just an illusion that Nick Fury did to trick the frost giant King. It's really too bad that everybody knows that I'm Odin's son for real."

But when Loki turned around, Thor was gone. He was happy. Thor didn't seem to quite understand him. He was a poet and a troubled soul and liked to listen to the violin but played the cello. Thor liked to play football and called Loki a nerd growing up. Sometimes he wished Thor was adopted so he'd get taken away by his real parents some day. "Maybe someday," his mother would always assure him, but it never happened. She didn't like Thor either.

It was their dad that liked Thor so much and no-one crossed him because they were pretty sure he was Hannibal Lecter with a beard.

---------------------Book 1, Chapter Two, Part ii: The Flashback-----------------

Thor pushed Loki into the mud and called him a nerd.

"I like football," Thor growled, "Why don't you play football with me? You can be the football!"

"Please, my gentle brother, leave me to mine own devices, so I can enjoy the gentle air breeze on my flowing jet black hair in peace. I want to watch the butterflies float on the music of the clouds."

Thor punched him in the stomach and the young version of the Mark Ruffalo Hulk high fived them. He was just jealous because he liked Carrow~Lyne. Loki looked off into the distance and thought of her beautiful face with its perfect eyes that showed how perfect her soul was, perfectly. He loved her. So much. And always would.

He just didn't know she had a secret twin!!

---------------------Book 1, Chapter Two, Part 3: not The Flashback anymore-----------------

Thor was back with a big ice-cream and ate it in front of Loki, laughing while he did that what a jerk. Loki patted him on the back nicely because they were still brothers and asked nicely if he could borrow myolonar (meolneer? (the hammer I mean))). Thor didn't care, because he was too busy eating the ice-cream which he had stolen from a little boy and laughing evilly while he did that thing. Loki used myolonar to make a cloud that made rain that washed out the graffiti and the janitor cleaning it up gave him a thumbs up and a hey man you're okay look which made Loki's heart rise like a golden eagle.

Only underneath the graffiti, the bricks spelled a secret pattern: it said look behind you. (The bricks were placed there by a time wizard but we'll come back to that.)

Loki turned around to see a statue of Thor but he looked meaner than usual. Loki recognized this as the Lost God of Norse, Bad Thor, who was like Thor but evil. Legend stated that Bad Thor was Thor's evil side. Loki felt dread that maybe there was a Bad Loki. He hoped not, as he certainly didn't want anyone to be hurt by him, even if it was an evil version. But he couldn't stop thinking about Bad Thor… Thor was pretty bad already, Loki thought. He electrocuted Tony Stark in the forest, he stole ice cream from a child, and blew up the Rainbow Bridge so he wouldn't have to dump his sweet innocent girlfriend, Bend It Like Beckham. 

"Wait a minute," Loki understood, turning back to his brother.

"YOU WERE BAD THOR ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!"

---------------------Book 1, Chapter Three, Part i-----------------

(I'll come back to this later)

[tamarindtoffee]

Bad Thor

[destinedtobeunworthy]

Boo.

[lokilies]

unf (hehehehehehe)

If you snuck in my room I would:

[] Go back to sleep

[x] Kick you out

[] Have rough sex with you

[] Cuddle with you

[x] Be like wtf?

[] Let you sleepover 

[] Beat your ass

If you kissed me I would:

[] Kiss you back

[] Smile & laugh

[x] Be shocked

[x] Slap you

You are:

[] Cute

[] Adorable

[] Pretty

[] Beautiful

[x] Okay

[] Sexy

[] Hotass Motherfucker

[] Ew

I Would:

[] Smash

[x] Pass