#bae510

[baefiveoneoh]

I fell in love again

Unexpectedly and I’m hoping this time it’s different. She’s been so patient with me learning to love me and all the flaws I developed from my previous abusive partner. It’s a beautiful thing when someone sees your pain and puts their hand out letting you know they are by your side because no one deserves to be heartbroken. I always knew I could do better than my ex, but my ex destroyed my image when we split telling me I was a loser and no one would ever again want to have any interest in someone such as myself. She’s destroyed those insecurities and my ex tried to talk to me while I was seeing her, but I’d never put myself in the arms of the person I once loved after they decided to play me. I curved my ex in a humble manner and let her know I forgave her but never wanted anything to do with her, because she took me for granted. I didn’t state I was seeing anyone, but she knew. It felt so good to send her right back through the door she felt was still opened.

But enough about the past I just want to take a moment to say that things do get better. There’s someone out there for everyone you just gotta be patient and stop falling into lust like 98% of society. The world thinks they understand love, but you don’t feel anything until you experience. People nowadays want what’s quick and that’s why things don’t work out. Relationships take two people to make it work, and years of dedication. I feel we spend a lifetime getting to know not only ourselves, but also the person who we choose to be by our side.

She makes me feel safe and I swear I’ve had so much sex before her, but you haven’t had sex until it’s with someone who loves you back. Touch is different and when there’s strong feelings it’s not about sex, but love. You smile during sex and laugh while getting intimate at times. I’m now replacing the sadness hidden in my face with smiles all because of her. The feelings that I feel can’t be described in words because I could spend all day telling the world about how much I admire her. I want her to always feel safe and be confident enough to hold herself up when I’m not around. And on those dark gloomy days when she’s going through it I just hope she lets me cater to all her needs.

Never did I see myself catching feelings for anyone again. I really want to get to know her and show her what it feels like to be by a guy who truly values her from head to toe. To understand how I not only see a future with her by my side, but someone whose never replaceable. And as I fall harder each day I hope she sees all I ask is for her to continue loving me unconditionally through any obstacles we may face. Love every piece of me knowing I’m proud to call her my soul mate.

[baefiveoneoh]

It’s starting to feel...

As if it’s impossible to have a relationship where you don’t have any issues from social media. Even people in general, like everyone wants to find love, but people also aren’t willing to realize certain people aren’t any good for them while they’re trying to form a relationship. And see that’s the thing times have changed, before you had to knock on someone’s door to simply figure out if they were available. Nowadays everyone’s available with the click of a button. I understand people have always been unfaithful, but social media has given humans the power to be more toxic than ever before.

And another thing if you are getting to know someone and have a “friend” which you’ve sexually had an encounter with, you need to come to realization that you are no longer friends. The second you two decided to cross that friendship boundary you forever changed whatever it was that existed prior. And just out of respect to anyone you may be growing with it’s probably more respectful if you kept those people as far as possible. You may have talked to them before your partner, but need to realize it’s not about sacrifices yet more of respect for your relationship. I understand people should have trust, but let’s be real. No one wants to deal with someone who still has the past involved. It’s okay to think about the past and talk about it so your partner understands you, but literally having someone of the past still relevant will simply destroy everything you’ve worked so hard towards. And I’m simply sharing this right now because I have so many mixed feelings I’ve been dealing with. Like dead ass I just want someone I can love limitless and they don’t give me any outside bullshit whatsoever. I get it things won’t always be perfect, but a relationship shouldn’t even be complicated to begin with. Shit should be simple and flowing smoothly because both people want it more than anything...

[baefiveoneoh]

Heartbreak💔

Ain’t gonna lie it’s awesome to see people still liking/reblogging my old writings from when I was heart broken. I’ll be honest I never got over it, just learned to live with it. Just glad I never took my own life because the shit I was feeling made me step into a dark period in my life. So glad I didn’t kill myself over that stupid bitch for cheating on me. And for anyone wondering she tried looking for me a few months back. Apologized for everything since she ended up getting played and knew what it felt like. She tried to talk to me as if nothing ever happened between us, but I cut her off real quick...

Moral of the story is no ones worth dying for unless it’s real family. People come and go in life. Not everyone will appreciate your energy and all you can do is love and learn in this life.

If anyone ever needs advice or someone to talk to whether it be relationship wise, life advice, or even just someone to listen my inbox is always open. I have never ignored anyone or pushed someone away in need. I am here even if I can’t be there for you physically I’d rather be the one to save you or talk you out of doing something terrible to yourself.

Everyone stay positive no matter how bad life may seem you gotta remember things won’t always be the same. Life keeps on moving...

[baefiveoneoh]

There be times...

like today where I think about how there were days before this that I wished I’d have stopped breathing. Like I dead ass didn’t want to be a part of the earths energy. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to survive without certain people in my life, yet I’ve been doing just fine. Dropping out of school was probably one of my best decisions. I no longer am chasing this piece of paper that society seeks after, simply to be accepted in such a corrupt environment. People are fools they all think the government is on their side, yet we’re all being slapped in the face. We work for wages simply to put food in our own mouths and a roof over our heads. BUT we never profit and that’s where we are taking losses as human beings. We offer time which we can never get back for low wages, while the people at the top sit on their asses making the profit. I didn’t ask to be born, but I feel everyone’s born a slave in society. They say you’re in debt the second you’re born. The government steals and gives back so little to those who make society move around. BUT now don’t you go and steal back because the government don’t like competition.

I remember sitting in that cell thinking to myself how jail was no different from the neighborhood I lived in. Jail and the outside had so much in common. In fact your house is basically a jail the way I see life now. Everyone’s in their own space at a certain cost and people are always at competition with one another, yet fail to realize that all the materialistic things will remain here when you stop breathing. We feel life is endless, yet someday we’ll all be FREE..

[baefiveoneoh]

I’m learning...

To be fine on my own again, and this is my reminder that I’m going to be more than okay. I forgot that I’m a whole person and a world within myself. I don’t need anyone to feel complete in this life. I’m worth so much more than being a prisoner of love. I was meant to be free and conquer the world. I am capable of growing all by myself as a person. Im learning to see the beauty within myself through the eyes of the world. I’m sure some strangers out there have wondered not only who I am, but what I’m capable of offering to the world. And with all that being said I’m still learning everyday that I am reborn...

[baefiveoneoh]

To all my followers

I know I’ve disappeared a ton, I’m leaving again and am not sure if I’ll be back this time. I won’t message those who’ve talked to me, but I will say thanks to everyone whose ever talked to me in the past. Whether it be a positive or negative experience. I’m not as depressed as I once use to be, but I’m changing everyday and feel the need to get away from social media because I can live without this fake world that never will exist or hold true meaning to who I am as a person. Thanks to everyone who reached out to me and enjoyed my writings. I know you are all capable of finding yourselves and loving limitless. See your true value and potential in life. Stop settling for people just because they are around and surround yourself with quality. Go chase your dreams and stop spending so much time on social media it’s all a distraction from reality and I just want to create new memories rather than new faces I’ll never meet. It’s nice to talk to people from all over the world but it’s just not for me anymore. So with that being said everyone take care!

[baefiveoneoh]

The Internet 📝

To think that I was alive during the last moments when the Internet didn’t exist, I still remember how the Internet was when it first started. What is known today as the Internet seems to bore me compared to back then. Before we used the Internet to communicate, now it seems people have mislead the definition of what communication means. Everyone has a cell phone now with Internet so people don’t even talk to one another. It honestly throws me off when someone even tries to talk to me or even says hi due to how rare that seems now. Technology will keep evolving, but why have humans stopped evolving?

[baefiveoneoh]

Sometimes

I question if someone will miss me when I’m gone. I look at how this system I was born into has enslaved me from the second I took my first breath. How all odds are against me and the fact that human rights are only a privilege now. These chains around my neck only suffocate me more as I age, and I remember telling my mom I was coming home in December. Police didn’t kill me for some reason I’m still here breathing. They placed more chains on me and they locked me away, but I only became more aware that things are never going to change. I learned at a young age that God was only someone who existed in my mind if I allowed his existence to become my belief. I learned the difference from hell and heaven based off my actions. Sometimes things come down so hard and I remember that this life is only for the moment…