#ballistage

[hamsterpooh]

Mirage: Did you just Wingman that entire squad? Ballistic: Of course. You expected less from August Brinkman? Mirage: ...I think I'm in love. Ballistic: Please, Mirage. I'm twice your age. Now watch Daddy work. There are two hooligans up ahead. Mirage: Wh--Uh...Can you handle them on your own? I can't, uh...I can't walk comfortably right now...Um...Cramp. Yeah, a cramp!

[hamsterpooh]

Where do things get shippy and gay on discord for Apex Legends?

[hamsterpooh]

Gibraltar: Thanks for the pics! I mean it. You didn't have to take time out of your day for me. Ballistic: Oh, it was no bother at all. I love my fans. Even the ones that hide around the corner because they're too shy to approach me, Mirage. Mirage, around the corner: How did you know? Ballistic: I didn't. Gibraltar: Hah! Mirage: You just assumed it was me? Ballistic: An educated guess. I'm surprised you haven't approached me yet. Fans like you are always so...eager to please. Mirage: Oh, I'm eager to please! You need to be pleased? I am here for your pleasure! Wait--That came out wrong. Ballistic: ...Well, I meant you seem like the type to offer to have my tea made for me by the time I've had my shower, but-- Mirage: No, that's what I meant! I'm not like a weirdo or anything, I swear... Ballistic: Oh. I was going to spare you half an hour in my quarters... Gibraltar: You take this opportunity or I will. Mirage: I take it back. I'm a weirdo. I'll totally do it. Ballistic: Let me save you from yourself, dear. You're not a "weirdo", you're an admirer. Come now. Follow me.

[hamsterpooh]

Ballistic: Hooligans. Mirage: Heh. Wouldn't you call me a hooligan? Ballistic: I would never call my companion and biggest fan a hooligan. Mirage: Ok, coo--Wait, what? How do you know that? Did you get into my stuff!? Ballistic: No, but you're going to have a little show and tell when we return. After our victory of course. Mirage: Help.

[hamsterpooh]

Ballistic: Elliott, what exactly are your issues with your father? Mirage: My what? Ballistic: Your issues. With your father. What are they? Mirage: Oh, uh...He disappeared when I was a kid, so... Ballistic: Abandonment issues. So it is enough for you that I am here. Mirage: ...What? Ballistic: That is dangerous. A cruel man could take advantage of that. Lucky for you, I am not a cruel man. Mirage: Can we rewind? What are we talking about? Ballistic: Your daddy issues, dear. Mirage: Oh...So you're not taking advantage of them? Ballistic: Oh, I am. Just not cruelly. Mirage: That's why I tell my friends you're a good guy. A great guy. A fantasmic--f-fantasy--frantic--An amazing guy. Ballistic: Heavens, that stutter is Cupid with an automatic weapon...

[hamsterpooh]

Ballistic: Torres. You must correct this behavior of breaking into my home. I find it difficult to maintain friendships when my personal space is disrespected...repeatedly. Silva: I never knew you to be interested in anyone with daddy issues, Brinkman. Ballistic: Straight to the point, I see...Well, considering the ages of your wives, I think you understand that daddy issues tend to work in our favor past a certain age. Silva: What are you doing with that clown? Ballistic: Whatever he consents to. Our relationship is purely casual. Silva: Witt doesn't do casual. He pines after anyone who will give him attention for more than a day. Ballistic: I know. I should say I am keeping our relationship casual...What is this really about, Torres? Are you afraid I may turn my attention to someone else with daddy issues? Or is this simple jealousy? Silva: If you even look at Octavio-- Ballistic, sighing: You will kill my son. I am aware. Silva: I will finally put an end to him. Ballistic: ...You don't mean my son, do you? Silva: When you are done experimenting with desperate little boys, you know where to find me. Ballistic, chuckling: Indeed. I will find you in my house when I least expect it.