Reader. Rafael. Liv learns about the two of you. Rafael handles it poorly. CW: NSFW for sex, language, spanking and some angst.
Rafael spotted you at your desk, laughing at something Carisi was saying who was sitting on the corner of your desk. He stormed into the squad room, marching straight over to you, slamming a file on your desk.
“Barba? What’s going on?” you asked. You were surprised to see him.
You and Rafael had been fooling around behind closed doors for the past few months. It all started after a celebratory win for the squad. You had too many drinks and Rafael volunteered to take you home since the two of you did not live too far away from each other. You stumbled out of the cab and he caught you before you fell to the ground. As helped you stand, you kissed him. At first Rafael resisted, but there was a heat between you two and Rafael allowed himself to be pulled under.
And since then, it had all been hidden kisses and interludes. In his office. In the break room in the squad room. Your apartment. His apartment. In the courthouse after hours. It had been a hot and heavy four months. You wanted to bring it out to public, but Rafael did not want to just yet. You had a disagreement just the other day about going public right before the two of you were going to go to bed.
“This is my reputation we're talking about, my career.”
“Rafael - Liv herself told me she had dated an ADA. I think he was an ADA for the Bronx!”
“Y/N, I know that you think the rule is crap, but we can't just ignore it at my expense.”
“Oh, will you stop? You’re overreacting.”
With a huff and an eye roll, you dropped the subject. It was late and you just wanted to go to bed. You turned your back to Rafael and shut the light. You heard Rafael mutter our a string of expletives in Spanish before rolling over and turning off the light on his side.
The next morning the two of you had made up in his shower, your legs wrapped around him, your back against the tile as he rhythmically thrust in and out of you. You cried each other’s names as you each climaxed. You didn’t bring up going public again. But still, the foundation was set.
Rafael pulled out some papers from the red weld he slammed on your desk. “You see this? This is the visitor’s log from Sing-Sing. You went up to see Reynolds by yourself three times in the last month. Undercover. Can you tell me why’d you do that?” he asked angrily.
“I was trying to get a read on him, trying to see if I could find anything more about other possible victims. I knew I met the description of his type.”
“Liv, did you know about this? Carisi?” Rafael asked Sonny and Olivia, who had come out of her office.
“I did but I told her to just get some feelers, not to dig too deep,” began Olivia but Rafael cut her off.
“You know Y/N could have jeopardized the case. Anything he said isn’t admissible!”
“Barba we have a good, strong case,” Olivia replied gently.
“Y/N what were you thinking!” You opened your mouth in protest but Barba continued.
“No. I am tired of bending the rules for SVU. I am tired of the ADA’s office being dragged through the mud. Novak, Cabot... why can’t anything be just done by the books for once?”
There was a pregnant pause. “I want you off the case.”
“Barba that’s not your place,” Olivia warned.
“Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?!” You shriek in anger, standing.
“Barba. Y/N. My office, NOW.” Liv demanded.
The two of you entered her office and Liv slammed the door shut and shut the blinds. Standing in front of the two of you, she pointed her finger back and forth.
“So, how long have you two been sleeping together?”
You blanched and Rafael shifted uncomfortably.
“We’re not sleeping together,” you stated shakily.
Liv looked at you deadpanned before rolling her eyes. She shook her head and sat on the edge of her desk. “That wasn’t a colleague dispute. That was a lovers spat. I want the truth.”
Rafael spoke. “Four months.”
Liv let out a quiet “oh.”
“Listen Liv. I can still do my job - I have been doing my job. I was going to tell you,” you began, running your hands on your thighs nervously.
“It’s just sex.” Rafael said quietly. “Nothing more.”
You flipped around in your seat, a look of hurt and dismay on your face. “Excuse me? Just sex?”
Rafael could see the pain on your face and he shifted uncomfortably once more.
You let out an angry chuckle. “You want to walk around here and pretend like we don't mean anything to each other?” You began, tears forming.
“It was just sex. You can choose to act like an adult. You can choose not to pick a fight in front of the entire squad room.”
“Fine. I'll make it easy for you. We don't mean anything to each other, not anymore, 'cause we're done!” You shouted. You swung the door open and saw the entire squad staring at you. Everyone quickly jumped back to what they were doing and you turned to Liv.
“I am talking the rest of the day... call it a mental health day or whatever. I don’t even know if I have enough PTO. Dock me. I don’t care. I am out.”
You marched to your desk, grabbing your jacket and purse and stormed off.
It was now three weeks later. It felt like an eternity. Since then, Rafael called you a number of times. You never answered. You always sent him to voicemail and then deleted them without listening. You were simply too angry. Too humiliated.
There was one instance in which you did text Rafael. To stop calling. “Ya me tienes harta.” (I am sick of you). Something you picked up watching telenovelas one weekend with Rafael,
Fortunately no one in the squad room brought your fight up. You knew they were itching to but everyone gave you space. You threw yourself into your work, in an attempt to distract your aching heart.
You testified on Rafael’s case. Despite how angry you were with him, you wouldn’t ever let that hurt your work or his.
The case had adjourned to the next day and you were walking out of the courthouse when you heard Rafael call your name. You kept walking down the steps, ignoring him. You wrapped your red scarf tightly and fixed your white wool bouclé coat.
“Y/N! Y/N!” Rafael jogged up to you.
You turned to face him, not saying a word but offered a small smile. Inwardly you couldn’t help but note how handsome he looked in his tan coat.
“You did great on cross.”
You nodded, shrugging. “I know how important this case was for you.”
“Look, about...” he began.
You put your hand up, stopping him. “It’s fine. It was just sex, right?”
“No. It wasn’t JUST sex. Not with you. I’m sorry.” Pain etched Rafael’s face.
You felt your face get hot, your heart soared but it was still bruised. You looked away.
“I am falling in love with you.”
You looked at him gobsmacked. “What?”
“I am falling in love with you. I want you. All of you.”
“And you're not just gonna roll over and let the DA’s office tell you who you can be with?”
The wind blew, and you shivered. Rafael pulled you closer to him, caressing your face with a gloved hand. He lowered his face to yours, kissing you deeply. You let out a soft moan, returning his kiss. Your tongues danced. Rafael wrapped his arms around you completely, holding you tightly against him. You broke the kiss, looking deeply into his eyes searching for anything that would hint that this was anything but the truth.
“You really fucking hurt me Rafael.”
“I know. I am so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
You nuzzled his cheek. “I know. You can start by getting us a cab out of here.”
Rafael’s place was closer than yours. On the car ride over, he called Carmen to block off the rest of the day. You called Carisi, asking him to cover for you.
Entering his apartment, you shed your coat and scarf quickly. Barba followed suit, removing his coat and gloves and then loosening his tie.
“Do you want a drink?” He offered, turning his back to you briefly to pour himself a drink from his bar cart.
“No,” you replied, beginning to unzip your suit dress from the side. You undid your dress, letting it pool around your feet, still encased in nude stilettos. “I want you.”
Rafael took a swig of his drink, gazing upon you. Under your navy dress you wore a matching lace grey bra and panty set, with matching garters.
Rafael’s eyes darkened, if that was even possible. He took a large gulp and swallows his drink in one shot. Putting the glass down, he walked up to you and kissed you. You reached up and ran your hands through his hair, tasting his mouth with yours. Rafael’s hands skimmed your sides, causing you to briefly giggle before cupping and squeezing your cheeks.
“You’re gorgeous Y/N,” Rafael murmured in between kisses. He kissed down your neck, sucking at a pulse point, causing you to moan.
Your hands made their way to his vest, quickly undoing the buttons. Rafael shrugged his vest off. You two resumed kissing, hungrily pawing each other to make up for the last two weeks.
Rafael picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and you squealed. Rafael gave your ass a hard smack in response. He put you on his bed and you sat up, watching him undo his belt, unbuckling and unbuttoning his pants. He made quick to remove his suspenders and dress shirt and undershirt. Now, just in boxers Rafael climbed onto the bed to join you.
You sat on top of Rafael, unclasping your bra. You smirked. “You look good down there counselor.”
“You look good up there detective,” Rafael replied huskily before sitting up and taking a breast into his mouth. You moaned, throwing your head back.
“God damn, you have some amazing tits.” Rafael muttered as he sucked on your flesh.
You gyrated your hips, grinding against his cock. Though Rafael was wearing boxers still and you were still in your panties, he could feel how wet you were becoming and it was driving him mad.
“Let me taste you,” he begged.
“Soon my darling,” you cooed, pushing back him down. You placed kisses on his chest, making your way down to his stomach. You played with the waistband of his boxers with one hand while palming his erection in the other. You reach into the flap of his boxers and gently freed his erection. You spit into your hand and gently stroked him and Rafael threw his head back, moaning.
You began to worship him with your mouth, taking him in deeply. Rafael let out a string of curses in Spanish and ran a hand through your hair. His hips rose and you let him fuck your mouth. You could feel him twitch, the muscles in his thighs stiffening and you came off him with a very wet POP.
“Oh no, no, mi amor,” you smirked. “You’re going to cum in me.”
You could have sworn you heard something guttural emanate from inside him. Rafael sat up and kissed you roughly. “All fours,” he ordered and you quickly obliged. Rafael surprised you, however, by lowering his face to your folds, pushing your panties to the side and licking and sucking you. You squealed in pleasure.
“Oh fuck, fuck, fuuuck,” you moaned. “Don’t stop.”
“Never” breathed Rafael before returning to your center. “I’ve missed this.”
Rafael was relentless in his manipulations, smacking your ass and occasionally adding a finger, and then another.
“You like getting fucked by my hand?” Rafael asked through heavy lidded eyes.
“Yes, oh yes,” you moan. Your legs were shaking, and you collapsed onto your front, so your ass was completely in the air.
“Oh, that’s a sight to see,” moaned Rafael while he sat on his heels, stroking himself. “Just stay like that mi amor.” He stood up and rid himself of his boxers. Reaching into his nightstand, he pulled out a condom and slipped it on.
Giving your butt a squeeze, he leaned over, gently brushing your hair out of your face. “Are you ready?” He placed a chaste kiss on the side of your head.
You nodded your head in affirmation. “Yes, Rafa... fuck me.”
“Your wish is my command princesa,” Rafael replied. He guided himself into you, again pushing your panties to the side and you both moaned at the feeling of him stretching you. He smacked your butt again and began rhythmically thrusting in and out of you.
The sounds of skin on skin and moaning from the two of you filled the room. Beads of sweat dropped off Rafael and onto your back.
“Need you,” you moaned, meeting his thrusts. “Don’t fucking stop.”
“Never,” Rafael grunted, reaching to grab some of your hair. He tugged on your hair and you arched up, your breasts swaying as he continued to fuck you. Rafael reached around and his fingers began circling your clit. It became your undoing and you cried out as your orgasm overcame you. “Rafael! Rafael! Rafa...” you trailed off.
“Fuck, Y/N, cum for me.” Rafael encouraged, his thrusting becoming faster. Soon after Rafael stiffened, emptying himself inside you, while chanting your name as if it were some kind of prayer. He hunched over your back, placing kisses on your shoulder.
“Oh Y/N, that was incredible,” Rafael complimented. “You are incredible.”
You reached down and gently removed Rafael from inside you and you flopped onto your back. Rafael followed suit, pulling you close to him.
“These last few weeks without you were so hard,” you commented, tears brimming your eyes again.
“No llores, cariño. Me tienes para siempre.” Rafael whispered. (Don’t cry sweetheart. You have me always).
You smiled at Rafael. “So we go public?” you ask again for good measure. Rafael chuckled.
