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Not Who He Seems

Happy Birthday day @barbaragordamn!!! I've finally got this fic edited and up for you! I really enjoyed the concept (it might be a little rushed at the end but I was running out of time) so I hope that you enjoy it and have a spectacular birthday!!! Hope this brightens your day. :* Love ya!

Also on AO3!

“I see the expression on your face when you think no one’s looking.”

Tim swallowed thickly, doing his best to stare up at Jason’s sneer defiantly as nerves bubbled up inside of him. “And what do you think you see exactly?” He angled his body away from Jason’s, hands balled into fists at his sides.

“I see someone who’s sad. Who’s trying desperately to connect with other people, but can’t seem to manage it. Like it’s an impossible puzzle too complex for the smartest person in this school. I see someone who’s looking at the world almost as though from the outside. Separated by a pane of glass that you have no idea how to break through. No idea how to break free of the constraints that are holding you and determined never to let you go. And after all of that, you can’t quite figure it out because surely someone as smart as you would be able to figure it out.”

Tim scoffed and turned away from Jason. He tried to discretely wipe his sweaty hands on his jeans while his mind whirled frantically, searching for some form of response. Something to convince Jason that he’s wrong, even when he’s more correct than he ever could’ve dreamed. “And what exactly do you want, Jason? What does your proud declaration of who you think I am as a person expect you to get?”

“Do I have to want something?” he asked, chuckling.

Tim laughed bitterly. He chose to ignore the slightly hysterical tone that probably creeped into his voice. “Everyone else wants something.”

He heard Jason step closer and could practically feel the heat radiating from him. “Well I’m not everyone else. I don’t have any expectations of you. I think it might do the world some good to let everyone see the real you and not the mask that you’ve so carefully crafted over the years.”

White-hot anger surged through Tim’s veins and he whirled around to glare at Jason. “You know nothing, Jason. My mask and this barrier that you keep talking about-who says that I did it on purpose? Who says that it wasn’t forced into being or born of necessity? Maybe you should rethink your idea of me. Not everything is as it seems.”

With one last look, Tim stalked away down the hallway and towards the front entrance of the school. His anger was dissipating quickly and it was becoming replaced with a hollow feeling. A sense of emptiness at how true Jason’s words were even if he didn’t understand everything. He moved quickly down the steps of Gotham High and closed the distance between himself and the waiting car idling at the curb. He slid into the backseat and watched as the high school fell away seconds after his door was closed.

He thought back to what Jason had said to him. He honestly had no idea how they’d managed to have the confrontation in the first place. Jason wasn’t his friend. He honestly didn’t have any friends as Jason so kindly pointed out. Ever since he was little, it had always been about benefits and making connections, not actual relationships. Life had been a whirlwind of people only trying to get close to him for the money his parents had or his parents encouraging him to play nice with the other rich kids in order to establish business connections early.

Tim didn’t want any of that. He wanted to be allowed to live his life. He wanted to have a group of friends he could watch movies with and be stupid with. He didn’t want to have to worry about his appearance around other people or them possibly aiming for some form of blackmail that could be used later to take advantage of him in the business world. He didn’t even want to go into business or take over his father’s corporation, for fuck’s sake!

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the car window. What Jason had said had some truth to it and that honestly terrified him. How many other people saw his want to be involved with something else? How many of them thought that there must be something wrong with him because he doesn’t want the perfect life or the endless wealth that his parents work so hard for? Jason probably just wanted to tell him how stupid he must be for wanting to throw all of that away. He’d grown up with such fortunate circumstances so how could he not appreciate them?

Tim sighed as he felt the car roll to a stop and looked up at the large form of Drake Manor. He pulled himself from the car and trudged up the stairs and through the front doors. The house was silent, as it almost always was. The only times the large halls could be said to be ringing with sound was when the Drakes held their large business parties. Even then, the sound was a relief, but it wasn’t the type of sound that Tim craved and desired to hear flowing through the walls.

He pushed the his bedroom door open and let his backpack fall to the floor before toeing off his shoes and walking over to his bed. He fell heavily onto his comforter and let himself lay there. He was so tired. So tired of everything and sometimes he just wanted it all to stop. Wanted to wake up one day and magically have a normal life instead of the one that he had. Not even all of his parents’ money could give him that. Not that they would be able to put two and two together if he asked that of them.

Ignoring the grumbling in his stomach and the large pile of homework that was protesting from his backpack, Tim let his eyes slide shut and let sleep take him quickly. He was ready to let his dreams take over and help him forget everything that happened today. Help him forget his life.

~

A fierce pounding pulled Tim from his sleep.

“Master Timothy! Wake up or you’ll be late for school!”

Tim looked over at the clock on his bedside table. “Damn. I’m up! I’m up!” He pushed himself out of bed and stripped out of yesterday’s clothes. He had just enough time to take a shower if he hurried. He grabbed a pair of clean boxers and rushed into the bathroom to turn on the water.

On his way out the door, hair still damp and clothes in mild disarray, he grabbed a bagel from the large spread that was set out in the dining room every morning. His parents were already gone and at work, not that he ever saw them at breakfast either. He slid into the car and briefly wondered why he cared about being on time to school when he didn’t care for it. Tim guessed that it was better than staying in the house if he wouldn’t be allowed to sleep. Maybe if he tried to skip school the maid would pull him out of bed. That would certainly be a new experience.

Tim shoved the last bite of bagel into his mouth as he walked through the front entrance of his school. By some miracle, and thanks to the crazy skills their family driver has, Tim made it to school at his usual time. He knew that his hair was still fairly damp and he probably didn’t look any more put together than when he left the house, but he was far from caring. He had just stopped by his locker and grabbed the books that he would need for his morning classes when he felt eyes on him.

He looked down the hallway and found Jason watching him from where he was leaning back against a few lockers while his friends chatted and gathered their things. He arched an eyebrow at him, but Tim just sneered and shut his locker before heading towards his class which was thankfully in the opposite direction.

~

Tim sighed and gave the correct answer yet again for a math problem that he didn’t complete the night before. He was only halfway paying attention in his classes honestly. Not that that was something out of the ordinary. He’d rather be working with computers and writing code for some new security system or piece of technology. This was one of the higher level math classes and what kept him from the end of the day and sweet freedom from this educational hell-hole.

He’d felt Jason watching him whenever they were in the same room or hallway. His keen eyes always found him among the hundreds of students that walked the halls and it unnerved him honestly. He didn’t know why he was so fixated on him, but he wasn’t about to allow him to get underneath his skin after having to deal with so many other people.

Tim stared up at the clock as his teacher continued to drone on and on and about what their homework for that night was going to be. There were literally seconds left and the other students were becoming restless-packing up their things and shuffling papers-everyone ready to leave after so many hours confined to the building. Not to mention the fact that it was Friday and they wanted to go out to eat or the latest party that was probably happening that night. Not that Tim was able to go to any of those, because really, who would want him there?

The bell rang and Tim was out of his seat in a flash, sliding through the classroom door and into the hallway outside. Students poured around him from all directions, pushing and shoving to escape. Tim slipped around a corner, avoiding a large surge in the crowd and was about to sneak through a side door when something latched onto his hand and pulled him into a darkened classroom.

“What the hell?” Tim spluttered, wrenching his hand free. He whirled around to find a grinning Jason leaned against the wall. Tim narrowed his eyes. “Great. What the hell do you want?”

Jason shrugged. “Nothing of consequence. I want you to come out with me tonight.”

Tim stared at him, wondering what game Jason was playing. “Out where?”

Jason grinned wolfishly. “Just out. Out on the town. Out to have some fun. Out of your parents’ house.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, his earlier exhaustion returning. “Why?”

“Why?” Jason asked, confused.

Tim looked up at him. “Yes. Why? What do you want? Why do you want me to come out with you? What is so important and what do you feel the need to do?”

Jason grinned and moved into Tim’s space, backing him up against the door. “I want to make that mask disappear. I feel the need to get you out of your house and help you have some fun because you honestly won’t be having any at home. I want to show you a good time, because you look so depressed when you think no one’s watching.”

Tim let his head fall back against the door. “And where exactly were you planning to take me?”

Jason’s eyes sparkled with mirth. “On an adventure. Wherever you want to go.”

“And if I just want to go home and skip all of this?”

Jason shook his head. “Not an option.”

Tim looked up at Jason and pushed off the door before pulling it open behind him. He walked into the hallway and heard Jason following after him. They walked side-by-side through the nearly empty hallways. Almost everyone had cleared out even though they hadn’t been talking that long. They had just walked through the front doors when Jason roughly pulled him to the side and behind the bushes.

“What are you doing?” Tim hissed.

“Trying to avoid your fucking driver.”

He stared up at Jason, completely unimpressed. “Here’s an idea. How about instead of them calling the police because I avoided them to go who knows where with you, I tell them that I don’t need a ride home and he can leave and we can avoid police involvement and public embarrassment for the both of us?”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s probably a better idea,” Jason said, nodding. He looked down at Tim, shocked that he was still standing there. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get rid of him!”

Tim rolled his eyes and walked out from behind the bush and towards the waiting car. He walked over to the passenger door and pulled it open, much to the surprise of the driver. “I’m hanging out with a friend this afternoon. Go ahead and go back to the Manor. I’ll phone if I need a ride.”

“A…friend,” he said slowly.

Tim nodded and shut the door, rolling his eyes as soon as his back was turned. Jason jogged over to him and slung and arm over his shoulders, forcing Tim to walk with him down the sidewalk. Tim huffed and forced Jason’s arm from around him.

“Great. Now where are you taking me?”

“Patience young Timmy. You’ll find out in due time.”

Tim huffed again, but stayed silent. They continued leisurely down the sidewalk in comfortable silence. He tried to go with the flow and ignore the mystery of this whole situation, but he couldn’t ignore the feeling of his curiosity and interest gnawing away at him.

“Do you even know where you’re taking me?”

Jason glanced at Tim out of the corner of his eye and smiled. “You’ll see.”

Silence fell between them once again. It was even shorter than the first one.

“You could at least tell me so I have some idea.”

Jason hummed in contemplation. “No. I don’t think I will.”

“And why’s that?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Because it’s fun watching you squirm and trying to figure out what I’m up to. Which is nothing by the way. I’m just trying to help you get away from your sad little life at home.”

“My life is not sad at home,” he said bitterly. Liar, his brain supplied, making Tim roll his eyes at himself.

Jason hummed again. They turned the corner at the intersection. Tim looked up at the buildings around them. He’d never been able to walk around town. Whenever he had to go somewhere by himself or had to attend an event with his parents, they always took the car. He never got to simply walk and absorb the city and what existed around them. He vaguely wondered what it would be like to walk down here at night with everything lit up. Would it be brighter than you’d think, like Times Square in New York? Or would the lights be dim, giving the dark corners and side streets an air of mystery?

“You don’t get out in the city much do you?” Jason asked, breaking through his thoughts.

“I get out into the city plenty. I just don’t get to walk around the city. I’m usually toted around in a car to whatever event I have to go to.” Tim was taken aback by his own honesty. He didn’t usually share things like that with other people. He felt his face heat up and decided not to look at Jason.

They turned another corner and Tim was immediately surprised by the amount of people that were walking around. He stopped in his tracks and looked at the shops and buildings trying to figure out why so many people were congregated here.

“This is where most of the after school crowd comes to hang out,” Jason said, not even breaking stride as Tim hurried to catch up. “That’s the mall and there are lots of other shops and places to eat around here.”

Tim arched an eyebrow. “So you worked so hard to bring me to the mall?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “not just the mall. There’s a lot more to do around here than just shop. Although I do love the local bookstore that’s at the end of the street.”

“Bookstore?” Tim asked trying to be nonchalant.

Jason grinned. “The best bookstore. Come on. If we hurry we might be able to get there before a large crowd shows up.

Tim, bewildered and slightly confused, hurried after Jason down the sidewalk to a bookstore of all places.

~

Tim thought that he’d somehow got himself involved in something that he was never going to come back from. Jason was right about this being the best bookstore. He’d honestly never been in anything else like it. It had three floors and a coffee shop. Not that coffee shops weren’t already popular in bookstores and libraries, but it wasn’t a Starbucks. And it had books on books on books. His jaw had honestly dropped when Jason had pulled him through the double doors and Jason’s own eyes were sparkling with delight and joy.

Almost immediately, Jason had hurried off among the stacks going who knows where. Tim stepped forward slowly and watched as the incredibly high shelves engulfed him. He ran his hands along the spines of hardbacks and paperbacks alike. Let the smell of paper and literature surround him. And he finally let himself smile. It was small at first, but as he turned this way and that and saw nothing but books on books on books, it became an all-out grin.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d smiled so big. Or felt so giddy. And he was in a bookstore for fuck’s sake! Tim walked down the aisles slowly, eyes roving over every title trying to find something to read. A red spine with gold lettering caught his eye and he pulled it from the shelf, opening to the inside of the book jacket to read the description.

Tim snapped the book shut and cradled it in his elbow, continuing down the row. He let his fingers drag along the shelves, something his mom would’ve chastised him for if she were there, but he ignored the feeling, letting his new sense of joy wash over him.

“Hey, Tim-“ Jason cut himself off as he rounded the corner with three or four books already in his arms. He faltered at the incredibly open and happy expression that he wore, having never seen something so genuine come from him before. “Find something you like?” he asked, nodding towards the book in Tim’s arms.

“Huh?” he looked down. “Oh, yeah. I think I’ll get this one.”

Jason grinned. “Come on,” he said, grabbing his wrist loosely. “There’s something that I want to show you.”

Tim felt a spark of warmth bloom inside his chest at the contact and let himself be led through the shelves. He shook off the feeling. One gesture of kindness and he was already letting himself get too attached. Bitterly, he reminded himself that Jason was probably like everyone else and just wanted something from him. Wanted to get close to his family’s money or get some sort of advantage after school. He swallowed thickly and kept repeating those sentiments inside his head.

And then the shelves opened up and Tim forgot why he was trying to force himself away in the first place. He’d always wanted a bean bag as a kid. His mom had told them that it wasn’t proper for him to have one and that there were plenty of couches and useful chairs in the house already. This bookstore had forgone any concept of chair or couch to sit on while perusing books or new purchases. Instead, in the center of the store was a whole space filled with bean bags large and small that people were sprawled out on while they read.

“Come on,” Jason said, tugging on his wrist and heading for the closest opening. He sat down heavily, pulling Tim down with him in the process. Tim landed right next to Jason and was forced closer by Jason’s weight. He looked around curiously and ran his hands over the fabric, pressing down to test the squishiness of the chair. And to Jason’s amazement, Tim giggled.

Jason slung his arm around Tim’s shoulders and pulled him closer to his side as they settled down onto the chair. Tim smiled up at him before glancing away. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back.

“I want to stay here forever,” he murmured.

“Why stay here forever when you can just buy one of these bean bags for yourself.”

“Yeah, like that’ll ever happen,” he said, snorting.

Jason’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Tim’s smile dimmed. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Jason cleared his throat, trying to find some way to bring back Tim’s happiness. “I could honestly fall asleep on these things.”

Tim didn’t respond.

“Now that you know where this is, you can come back here and read every day.”

Tim sighed, but said nothing.

“Come on. Let’s go pay for our books and I’ll show you another great place.”

Tim cracked open an eye and looked at Jason. He sighed and sat up. Jason scrambled to his feet and pulled Tim with him back down the aisles of books towards the front of the store. They paid quickly and Tim barely had his hand on his bag when Jason was pulling him out the door.

“Jason!” Tim protested, nearly tripping over his own feet. “Could you maybe slow down a bit?”

“Sorry,” he said, sheepishly. “It’s just a little ways back up the road.”

“What is? Where are you taking me now?”

Jason didn’t bother responding. He just hurried down the street and pulled up short in front of a building, pulling Tim close to his side.

Tim arched an eyebrow. “A…diner?”

“It’s not just a diner.” They pushed through the doors and were met with what looked to be a traditional ‘50s themed place. Or it was around since the ‘50s. Tim couldn’t really tell. They were seated immediately and Jason pulled two menus from the stand on the table, handing one to Tim.

“This place has the best burgers and shakes in Gotham. Trust me, I’ve been everywhere.”

Tim set his menu down and looked across the table at Jason. “The best you say? Then you should have no problem ordering something that will absolutely ‘wow’ me and convince me of your statement.”

Jason smirked. “Challenge accepted, Timbo.”

Tim rolled his eyes at the nickname and leaned back into the booth’s cushion.

~

Tim tried to stifle his laughter behind his hand, but the snort he let out was unmistakable. Jason stared at him through his own laughter before laughing even harder.

“Jason, stop…it’s…it’s not…funny,” Tim gasped out.

“It’s so funny!”

Tim grabbed a fry from his plate and threw it at Jason’s face, before leaning heavily against the booth cushion as his laughter died down. He grabbed another one of his fries and dipped it into the classic vanilla shake that Jason had ended up ordering for him, before tossing it into his mouth. He had to admit, the place was good and he’d like to come back sometime.

“We should do this again sometime,” Jason said around a mouthful of fries.

Tim stopped chewing and stared at him, wide-eyed. He swallowed and felt his cheeks flush. “Yeah. Uh, yeah I’d like that.”

Jason grinned and tossed another handful of fries into his mouth.

~

“Have you ever been to the docks before?” Jason asked quietly as the wind whipped their clothes.

Tim shivered, feeling oddly exposed on Gotham Bay even though there was no one but the two of them around. “No.”

“It’s strange isn’t it? Feels sort of ominous even though there are ships constantly sailing in and out and the sun lights up everything.”

Tim wrapped his arms around himself. “Yeah…”

They looked out over the water. A horn sounded in the distance.

“Jason…do you mind if we go?”

They looked around where they were standing. “No, let’s get out of here.”

They walked back up the dock slowly. Tim kept so close to Jason that he could feel his body heat radiating off of him. Jason wrapped his arm around Tim’s shoulders and kept him close to his side. They kept their heads down and neither of them looked back.

~

Tim and Jason stood at the bus stop awkwardly looking at each other and looking away. The sky was darkening quickly as the minutes passed, neither boy knowing how to say goodbye.

“Well…” Tim started.

“Yeah…”

“I guess I should head home.”

Jason shrugged and nodded.

“I…um…I had fun. This was…nice,” Tim said, face flushing.

“Yeah, it was.” Jason swallowed and looked at the cars on the street. “Are you going to be all right getting home?”

“Yeah. I called…I called the driver. He’ll pick me up here soon.”

“Oh.” Jason nodded. “Cool.”

A bus pulled up to the stop and opened its doors.

“Well, this is me,” Jason said, not making any move to get on the bus.

“Yeah. I’ll see you at school on Monday I guess.”

“Cool. Cool.” Jason sighed. “I’ll see you later.” He reluctantly stepped onto the bus as the doors shut. Tim watched it start down the street and ran a hand through his hair. He turned around and started walking back up the street where his car had pulled up thirty minutes ago.

He pulled the door open and slid into the back seat, lost in thought. Something had definitely shifted between him and Jason and he wasn’t exactly sure what that was. Jason was a lot different from who he thought he was and he’d shown him so many great places around Gotham that he hadn’t even known existed.

Tim looked up as the buildings passed by and leaned his head against the window. He didn’t want to go home and he didn’t want to have to deal with his parents. The few hours that he spent with Jason had felt like paradise. That was what he always wanted to experience. That’s what he thought friendship felt like at the very least and now that he’d gotten a taste, he was craving more. And now he was back to his usual problem and what he’d been trying to convince himself of all night: what did Jason want?

As he trudged up the stairs to his room in the Manor, he decided that he wasn’t going to think about it. He was going to let whatever happened happen. And if Jason decided that he was going to take him for granted or take advantage of him…then Tim would deal with what that would do to him when he got there. He didn’t want to live in fear of what this relationship might mean even as tendrils of doubt creeped up inside of him and tried to ruin the happy memories that he’d made earlier.

Tim landed heavily on his bed and clutched his new book to his chest. If he closed his eyes and thought hard enough, his comforter almost felt like the same material that had covered the bean bag him and Jason had shared for a few moments. He buried his face in the fabric and laid there until sleep finally started to pull at him. He didn’t put up much of a fight and succumbed to the darkness.

~

When Tim woke on Saturday morning, he was groggy and disoriented. He rubbed his eyes and looked around his bedroom. His clothes were rumpled and the book that he’d bought the day before had been shoved to the floor, still wrapped up in the bag that it had been put in. He sighed and pushed himself out of bed. He stripped out of his clothes from the day before and headed into his bathroom to shower. He felt like he needed a good, hot shower.

He pulled on a pair of boxers and large sweatpants when he finished and threw on a tee, feeling much more comfortable and content. Tim arranged the pillows in the juncture of his wall where the bed was pushed against it and settled back against them with his new book. He opened to the first page and began to read.

~

Tim stumbled down the stairs and into the darkened kitchen. He yawned and pulled open the pantry door to look for a snack. He’d been so engrossed in his book that he hadn’t had anything to eat all day and was just now forced from his room by his protesting stomach. He pulled a box of cheese snacks from the shelf and grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator before turning to head back up to his room. He was only halfway through his book and he was going to be damned if a little appetite and sleep deprivation were going to stop him from finishing it this weekend.

It also proved to be an ample distraction to help him not think about the great day that he’d had the day before with Jason. And not think about if he was reading his own book. Or if he had a bean bag chair. Or if he went back to the bookstore to read because the chairs were so comfortable. And if he might have possibly been there earlier that day to read his books and if he’d gone back he’d have been able to spend more time with him.

Tim settled back against his pillows and ripped open the cardboard box, pulling the bag of cheese snacks out and into his lap. He opened them and shoved a handful into his mouth. He picked up his book in one hand and let the bag lean against his thigh. He popped the tab on his soda and took a large sip, the carbonation burning his throat. He left the can cradled between his legs and picked up where he left off at the beginning of chapter ten.

~

Tim tightened his grip on the straps of his backpack and bit his lip as he walked through the double doors of his school. He’d gotten a terrible night’s sleep because his brain decided not to shut up about everything that could happen at school that day and what Jason might do. The doubts swirled and darkened his thoughts despite his valiant efforts to dispel them because he didn’t know what Jason wanted with him. He wasn’t interesting enough to spend time with ‘just because’ and his mother’s voice had easily resurfaced amongst the whirlwind of thoughts that had plagued him throughout the night as he tossed and turned.

He ducked his head as he walked through the halls towards his locker. The usual talk was muted and tired, the rest of the students not happy to be back at school now that the weekend was over and it was too early in the week to look forward to the next weekend and their future plans. He turned the corner at the end of the hallway and closed the distance between himself and his locker.

Tim entered his combination quickly and pulled the door open. He kept his head down and exchanged some of the books in his bag for the ones in his locker.

“Hey there, Tim.”

He jolted at the sound of his name and looked up sharply, to find Jason standing there smiling at him. Stunned that he’d come to talk to him, his mouth opened and closed in what he expected resembled a fish.

“Jason! Uh…hi.”

“Hi,” Jason said, laughing. “Is that all I get?”

Tim rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and stared down at his feet. “Uh, no. I guess not. Uh…how was your weekend?”

Jason reached a hand out and tapped the bottom of his chin. Tim looked up at him and he jerked his head to the side. They fell into step as they walked down the hallway.

“It was pretty good. I got some reading done after buying my new books on Friday. I almost went back to the store to lay around on those bean bags, but opted to stay in my bed instead. It was a pretty chill weekend. What about you?”

“I read, too. I actually thought about going back to the bookstore too to flop out on the bean bags, but made a little place in my room. The book was really good, though. I want to get another one and go back to the bookstore. Maybe hang out a bit and read there.”

“Yeah? Maybe go out to the diner afterwards and grab a burger?”

“Of course. And a shake.”

“Of course.”

Tim ducked his head and smiled.

“Well, this is me,” Jason said, stopping in front of a classroom.

“Oh! Right.”

“See you later?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Tim said, nodding.

Jason nodded and pulled open the door to his classroom before heading inside.

Tim ran a hand through his hair and nodded at himself before turning in the direction they’d just come from to head to his classroom that they’d walked past moments before.

~

Tim packed up his backpack slowly, stealing glances down both directions of the hallway for Jason. He didn’t know what he was hoping would happen when he saw him after school. If he saw him after school.

His thoughts had come back with a vengeance as soon as he was left alone and he’d tried very hard to ignore them. Sighing and knowing he couldn’t hang around forever, he shut his locker and turned around. To come face to face with Jason.

“Waiting on someone?”

Tim flushed. “Uh, yeah, I guess you could say so.”

“Come on,” he said turning towards the school doors.

Tim followed and held tightly to the straps of his backpack. They walked down the steps of the front of the school. The Sun was out and it was a pleasant afternoon for a walk.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Jason began.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“About what I said the other day. About how you looked when you thought no one was looking.”

Tim hunched his shoulders. “What about it? You were right, after all.”

“I was-wait, what?” Jason asked, looking down at him.

“You were right. I’m just so confused by everything. And I haven’t really had anyone to help me connect with the rest of the world. I’ve been so alone for so long. I was raised alone. Told to stay on the outside so no one could take advantage of me. I was so convinced that everyone was trying to use me for some other purpose or master plane that I didn’t know how to make real relationships or find people I wanted to have real relationships with.”

“So what changed?” Jason asked, turning to face him.

Tim glanced around them and pulled Jason out of the middle of the sidewalk and into the entrance to an alley that ran between two businesses.

“You. You decided to challenge me. To say something and call me out on how I was living my life because you saw I wasn’t really living. You saw the mask and you saw the want to be involved. To not live my life on the outside and actually get to know people and appreciate people. It’s honestly been a bitch because I can still hear my Mom’s voice in the back of my mind telling me that you’re only looking for some sort of advantage.

“I honestly don’t know if it’s ever going to go away.” Tim knew he was becoming slightly hysterical. “I want it to-God I want it to go away. I’m tired of being suspicious of people. I just want to enjoy my time. I want to be able to go to a bookstore or diner with you and not have these doubts that you’re suddenly going to turn on me and tell me that all of this means nothing. I don’t want to be afraid that you’re suddenly going to disappear because I never meant anything-because I’m not worth anything!”

“Tim-“

“I just-I don’t know! It’s fucking terrifying! I’m terrified okay and I don’t want to be scared of this! I shouldn’t have to be scared of people.”

“Tim!” Jason broke in, taking his hands in his own and holding them between them both. “You’re right. You shouldn’t have to be scared and it sucks that you are and that you’ve been raised in such a way that’s perpetuated this fear. But I can promise you that I’m not going to leave anytime soon. It might take a while, but I’ll show you that I’m not going away. I’m honestly just happy being with you. I don’t need anything else. And if you need reassurance that you won’t drive me away and you being you is enough, then you can guarantee that I’ll be here every day.”

Tim stared up at Jason and felt the tears finally slide down his cheeks. “Shit,” he said and ducked his head to wipe them away.

Jason reached out and cupped his cheeks to wipe the tears away with his thumbs. Tim sniffed and Jason smiled at him before pulling him into a tight hug. Tim clutched at him and let the tears come. He felt irrational and stupid, but also relieved. This was the beginning. This was the start of something new and he was going to embrace it and accept it. He was going to appreciate every moment that he got of this. It wasn’t too good to be true and he wasn’t about to let anything ruin his chance at a new relationship.

Tim wiped at his face as they pulled apart. “Do you, uh…do you want to come over and hang out?” he asked.

Jason felt his face heat up and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah I’d like that actually.”

“Cool,” he said, not making a move to turn around. “Um, I guess my car is still probably in front of the school.” He cleared his throat and turned, letting Jason fall into step beside him.

They walked together quietly. They hadn’t gone far from the school and the car was still there as Tim had said it would be. Tim walked to the back door and pulled it open for Jason allowing him to climb inside before following him in and shutting the door.

“Back to the Manor, Master Timothy?” the driver asked.

“Uh, yes, please.” Tim held his hands tightly in his lap and looked out the window, keeping his gaze away from Jason. He’d just cried in front of him and wasn’t exactly sure how to proceed from here. He was lost in his own thoughts until a poke to his arm caught his attention. He turned to look at Jason who was pouting at him and watching him.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ignoring me?”

“Wha-? No…sorry, did you say something? I was kind of spacing out,” he said, laughing awkwardly.

“Hm,” Jason grumbled. “You need to relax,” he said, perking up.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re too tense.” Jason threw his arm around Tim’s shoulders and pulled him over to his side. “You need to relax and get used to being around people more.”

Tim stiffened at the unusually close contact and the fact that he was so close to Jason. He wasn’t used to this. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had given him a hug before Jason had earlier. He tentatively leaned back against Jason’s side and when he didn’t protest and just pulled him closer, Tim let himself sag against him, his exhaustion from lack of sleep helping become comfortable.

They remained like that for the rest of the ride to the Manor, enjoying the silence. Jason’s arm hung loosely over his shoulders. The car pulled up the main drive and parked in front of the steps. Tim pushed the door open, made a little more difficult by the weight of Jason’s arm.

“Why is your arm so heavy?” he asked, pushing the limb from his shoulder so he could get through the car door.

Jason chuckled and followed after him. “I have a lot of muscle, okay? Maybe you need to go and lift some weights. Then my arm won’t feel so heavy.”

Tim rolled his eyes at Jason. “Whatever. Come on, I can show you my room and have Mary bring us some snacks if you’re hungry.”

“That sounds great actually.”

They walked through the main foyer and turned up the stairs. Jason was looking around himself in awe, trying to take in everything that the Manor offered from the high-ceilings to the family portraits and grand paintings. Tim pushed through the door to his bedroom and immediately cringed at the mess that he was greeted with.

“Sorry about the mess in here. Obviously, I didn’t know that I’d be having company today,” he said, setting his bag down by the door. Jason walked past him and crawled onto the bed so his back was leaning against the wall. He smoothed the blankets down around him as best he could without actually making the bed and set his backpack next to him.

Tim swallowed and walked over to his desk to grab his laptop before sitting cross-legged on the bed with Jason. He was close to him, but still left a decent amount of space in between them. Tim fiddled with his laptop and bit his lip.

“Tim?” Jason asked.

Tim looked up through his eyelashes. “Y-yeah?”

“If you want me to leave, I can.”

Tim’s eyes widened and he snapped his head up to look at him properly. “What? No! Stay, I-I want you to.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“You seem nervous.”

“Jason,” Tim sighed, “we both know that I’m not very good at this. Just give me some time. What did you want to do?”

Jason shrugged. “We could watch a movie. Or if you wanted to play around on your computer I could always just read.”

“A movie sounds nice.” Tim opened his laptop and powered it up. As he waited for all of his programs to boot up, a knock sounded at the door. “Come in,” he called, absentmindedly.

The door opened to reveal a woman dressed in very plain clothes holding a tray of snacks.

“Oh, Mary. You can set those on the bed, thanks.”

She moved silently and deposited the tray next to Jason as Tim got to work opening up his web browser. Mary left the room silently, closing the door behind her.

“That’s so weird,” Jason said, quietly.

“What is?”

“Your maid or butler or whatever you call them.”

Tim looked up from his computer. “Oh. Yeah, I forget that some people aren’t quite used to it. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t you ever think it’s strange? To have someone do all of this stuff for you?”

Tim paused and sat back, contemplating what Jason said. “I suppose. I don’t think about it too often, it’s such a normal part of my life.”

Jason started looking over the snacks and picked up a cookie. He shifted closer to Tim to look over his shoulder, bumping against him. Tim felt his face heat up at the closeness of their contact and cleared his throat as he pulled up Netflix. He felt Jason’s arm where it was pressing down the mattress behind him. He began scrolling through the available options.

“What do you think about London has Fallen?” Tim asked.

“Sure. I saw the first one and that was pretty decent. Although, I’m not really a fan of American exceptionalism, but I’ll give it a shot.”

Tim clicked play and settled the computer on the bed between their legs before trying to move back against the wall, only to bump into Jason’s arm.

“Oh, sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine. Here, try this,” Jason said, moving his arm around so that Tim fit next to his body and his arm wrapped around his back. “Is that better.”

Tim swallowed. “Uh. Yeah. Do you mind passing the snacks?”

He took a cookie and turned his attention to the screen, trying not to focus on the warmth from Jason’s arm.

~

Tim huffed and shoved another cookie in his mouth. “This movie sucks.” He tilted his head back and looked up at Jason. Somehow, someway, they’d shifted around so he was leaning fully against Jason’s side and his arm was wrapped all the way around his waist. It was comfortable and Tim was determined to not be worried about it.

Jason looked down at him. “Yeah. I told you, American exceptionalism.”

Tim’s eyes widened as he noticed just how close their faces were. He glanced down at Jason’s lips and then back up to his eyes, noticing his eyes widening as well. Time seemed to stand still for a moment, both of them staring at each other, wondering who would make the first move. And what move that should be.

Then it was gone. Their lips crashed together. It was messy and took a minute for them to get their shit together, but once they did, Jason was pulling Tim into his lap. Tim wrapped his arms around Jason’s shoulders and Jason tightened his grip around his waist.

They broke apart after several minutes, staring at each other and trying to catch their breath. Tim laughed a little hysterically, unsure of what had just happened.

Jason smirked. “Glad to see we feel similarly about something.”

“So I guess this is what you wanted all along.”

Jason hummed. “I wouldn’t say all along. Friday helped. For many reasons obviously. It got you thinking about me.”

“Shut up,” Tim said, bringing their mouths together once again, movie easily forgotten in the wake of something new.

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