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Did I do this right?

#beauty and the beast #batb 1991 #batb 2017 #beauty and the beast the musical #beauty and the beast 2017 #beauty and the beast 1991 #batb crack #alignment chart meme #what am i doing #i dont know #belle reprise #home #be our guest #if i can’t love her #evermore #gaston #the mob song #days in the sun #me #my post

We all thought that Gaston was ultra buff because he monopolized the town's egg economy. What if the eggs around Villeneuve actually just make people extra buff over time? Moreso than normal eggs? Because magical chickens. And no one's realized because people in town so rarely can afford eggs until Gaston's gone.

Imagine that someone brings a few chickens from Villeneuve to the castle. Nothing changes in how the staff/residents eat, but everyone inexplicably gets more fit. Lumiere doesn't really question it when he and Plumette are hotter. But then Mrs. Potts. Cogsworth. Chapeau. Chip.

The one who solves the mystery is Belle, naturally. She convinces Adam to do a stakeout of the chicken coop together until they figure out what's happening. The magical sparks that fly around when a chicken lays an egg pretty much give them their answer. But they check with Agathe on the safety of the chickens and she says it's cool, she just charmed some local chickens so she could stay hot without actually working out (she has a few chickens in her shack in the woods for herself). So the eggs are safe.

An unexpected perk is that all this muscle is a deterrent for wars and feuds. All of the diplomats who visit the castle are automatically intimidated because everyone there looks so jacked. They can afford for everyone here to eat this well? Even the servants? And how did the prince and princess get this muscular from their quiet diplomatic work? the diplomats think, sweating slightly and pinching their flabby arms. On their way back home, the diplomats pass through Villeneuve and notice that even the poorest of townsfolk are also ripped. My God, the diplomats say to each other. This kingdom is so wealthy that even the peasants can afford all this protein! We definitely can't attack them. If the jam seller looks like this, just imagine what their army looks like!

And that's how everyone in the region met their protein needs and also got ripped without trying. Though of course no one is as huge as Gaston, because no one eats 5 dozen eggs every day or lifts as much as him. Everyone just enjoys their boost of muscle, which makes everyone even hotter than they already were and gives everyone more fun in the bedroom.

~fin~