#bathsheba babbling

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity Masterpost

With the arrival of Hogwarts’ new Ancient Runes Professor, Bathsheba Babbling, old secrets will be revealed…

New love will be found…

And war will leave its mark…

Part 1: Introductions 

Part 2 : Homecoming

Part 3: Lovesongs

Part 4: Odd Couple 

Part 5: Bum and Parsley 

Part 6: Heartbreak 

Part 7: Battle

Part 8: War 

Bonus: I Love You, I Love You, Goodnight

Thank you to @askthehufflepuff for playing Dougel McGregor and @queer--pansy for playing Severus Snape!

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity, Part 1: Introductions

Professor Bathsheba Babbling arrives at Hogwarts in 1990. Upon hearing a popular Muggle song, “Unchained Melody” emanating from one of the classrooms, she goes to investigate...

Charity: Oh, I didn't see you there!

Charity: Merlin! The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office would have my head if they knew. They say the record player should only be used for educational purposes.

Bathsheba: You teach muggle studies, do you?

Bathsheba: I’m off to see Professor McGonagall next--get everything sorted.

Charity: Well, lovely to meet you, Professor.

Bathsheba: Y’know--

Bathsheba: The Spice Girls. 

Charity: Perhaps you should be teaching divination instead?

Bathsheba: Then I predict...

Bathsheba: Sweet Charity

Bathsheba: Another Muggle song.

Charity: And your name?

[caroluna]

Founders Sitcom

Minerva McGonagall & Professor Bathsheba Babbling: Gia! @asktheauror

Muggle Studies Professor: Kap! @kapitan5o

Ancient Runes Professor: Akuma! @akumapheles

Professor Grumble: Stef! @asktheblacksheep

Original post

McGonagall: Now, as you all know, the majority of the Professors here at Hogwarts have resigned. They heard the next generation of Potters and Weasleys were about to enter our hallowed halls.

McGonagall: Most have already seen enough of war, so they retired early.

McGonagall: Yes, well--

McGonagall: I taught Fred and George Weasley!

McGonagall: It has been over 17 years.

McGonagall: Right. Your assignments then. 

McGonagall: Ms. Babbling? You will teach Divination, rather than Ancient Runes this year.

Bathsheba Babbling: But I’ve got Runes on my face?!

McGonagall: That cannot be helped. The Ancient Runes Professor is called...

McGonagall: Ancient Runes Professor; so they will handle that subject.

McGonagall: Muggle Studies Professor?

McGonagall: Well now, everyone likes you just as you are, don’t they? So you just keep teaching children all about Muggles.

MSP: *continues a fascinating lecture which is factually questionable*

*Professor Babbling begins to interrupt*

McGonagall: Clearly you’ll serve as the DADA Professor--

 McGonagall: And be head of Slytherin house!

McGonagall: We just can’t force those prejudices to go away by representing a Slytherin as anything other than--

McGonagall: Shifty, snaky, and scary. Surely, if it were possible, Dumbledore would have seen to it during his long tenure as Headmaster.

McGonagall: In short, Grumble has a mustache.

McGonagall: That makes him shifty.

McGonagall: Shifty people go in the hiss-hiss house.

Bathsheba Babbling: *under her breath* Buncha numpties...

ARP: *turning to Professor Babbling*

Bathsheba: I think you’ll be alright. 

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity, Part 7: Battle

*It is spring. In the dining hall, Bathsheba is eating with Charity and Severus*

*In McGonagall’s office*

McGonagall: More than ever! And what of Professor Burbage?

Bathsheba: She's never had a macaroon; I should remedy that for her.

McGonagall: So you will run back to France, and you think the distance will save you?

McGonagall: YOUR FATHER-- 

McGonagall: The war was not with him, but with myself. The box you found? 

McGonagall: I thought…better letters and pictures than my wand.

Bathsheba: I'm sorry I no longer fit inside your box.

McGonagall: Your letter to Hogwarts? I penned it myself. The first I ever wrote. Now I write them all. I sent the owl with your offer to teach here. I--did you ever see a cat outside your window on Christmas?

Bathsheba: I would run out in the cold and look for it--

McGonagall: I remember the Christmas you lost your mother...I'm sorry I couldn't have saved her either. International Statute of Secrecy. They only made that statute when Pure-bloods began marrying Muggle-borns. It's to keep us silent--

Bathsheba: I suppose so.

Bathsheba: if I stay, what will that mean for you and I?

McGonagall: We both have our roles to play, I imagine. But let's not look too far into the future. Think of now. Think of today.

Think she’ll say yes? Find out on Monday! Tomorrow I have a little surprise in store, thanks to @askthehufflepuff!

Thank you to @queer--pansy for playing Severus Snape! You’ll see him again soon...

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity, Part 2: Homecoming

McGonagall: The Headmaster regrets he cannot meet with you at this time, he's asked me to--

Bathsheba Babbling: Surely it hasn't been so long?

McGonagall: Bathsheba! That is, Ms. McGregor. Or, it was Ms. McGregor when I knew you!

McGonagall: Foolish indeed if you did not keep your father's good Scottish name! I am sorry to hear of your loss. 

McGonagall:...too many of us can claim such pain.

Bathsheba: That is why I was so pleased to receive the Headmaster’s letter. Beauxbatons is a lovely school, but I have missed Scotland. It’s so good to be back at Hogwarts.

McGonagall: He will be glad to have one of his favorite pupils returned to him. You were raised on your father's farm, were you not? You’re practically home!

Bathsheba Babbling: I was. It passed to my younger brother after Da...

McGonagall: As I said, too much loss all around, my dear Bathsheba.

McGonagall: Best to make a new start.

Bathsheba: It’s as Da always said--

Minerva heard those familiar words echo in her memory...

McGonagall: Wise man, your father...

Thank you to @askthehufflepuff for helping me thicken the plot...

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity, Part 3: Lovesongs

Bathsheba: Time to get some hands-on experience, Professor.

Back at Hogwarts...

Inside the Karaoke bar

Save me The heavens have opened The storm is over So let's start the parade

Raindrops Will turn to laughter Forever after In your technicolor heartbeat And they say That it helps you forget everything

Thank you, @askthehufflepuff

Everyone ignore the continuity errors. I’ve learned so much since I first started--all of it to do with lighting a scene properly. 

I’m still learning, what am I even saying? Consistency is the bane of my existence. 

Back next week with part 5!

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity, Part 8: War

Charity: Sheba!

Bathsheba: I should have at least one tattoo.

Charity: So you chose to put them on your face?

Bathsheba: They're for protection. 

Charity: Hopefully nothing that rhymes with witch.

Bathsheba: --is showing me how best to protect myself.

Bathsheba: At this moment? I haven't a clue; you've conquered me.

Bathsheba: Much too late. 

Bathsheba: Absolutely terrible. The worst sort of thief. You stole away my heart before I even remembered I had a heart to steal.

Charity: Bathshebawillyoumarryme?

Bathsheba: I told you--you're the worst sort of thief.

Charity: If I already have your heart, I had to steal something else

One year later…

Bathsheba: if I find you have stolen my heart from me, be assured I will not rest until I have yours from you. I will eat it in front of your master–

It was as her mother had promised.

War arrived at Hogwarts and demanded that old cost.

~fin~

[caroluna]

Sweet Charity, Part 6: Heartbreak

Bathsheba steals into McGonagall's room the next day

Bathsheba finds the box and opens it. Inside are photos of her father, letters, and another picture... 

The young woman in the photograph looks remarkably like Bathsheba...

The photographs go flying through the air, landing in Professor McGonagall’s hand.

Bathsheba storms from the room