NEW YEARS THOUGHT
I was visiting my Dad last week and while on this little country road someone in front of me in an old pick up truck was driving slow, the truck seemed to stall at a stop sign or two as it drove. There was a sign on the tail gate that said "Be Nice, teaching my grandson to drive a stick". Seriously, someone took the time to put a sign on to tell other drivers behind them to have a little patience.
It worked. I didn't have a care in the world. I thought about me teaching my daughter to drive a stick, I thought about how great it was that a grandparent was teaching a grandchild to drive. My thoughts were all positive as they struggled in front of me.
When I got home to my father's I started to think more about it. Without that sign would I have been as patient and positive? Without that obvious sign would I have been behind them cursing, calling them names, saying they didn't deserve to be on the road, etc? If it wasn't me would someone else have been saying they are things about the person they didn't know?
Without that sign I don't think I would have been as positive, as supportive as I was. I found myself hoping they didn't stall at the next corner, hoping to see them less erratic, safer, smoother on their journey. I was rooting for this driver to learn and do better. Without the sign I would have been upset that they were delaying me, wondering why they were even on the road struggling that bad. I would have had much more mean and callous thoughts.
In life, on Tumblr, in the D/S world, just in general, I think sometimes we are all quick to judge, quick to dismiss, and quick to anger when we see someone that in our eyes "is annoying is" etc. I'm guilty of it, and I bet many of you are too.
The problem is we don't know someone else's struggle, we don't know why they are having difficulties, or seem erratic, seem to not know what they are doing.
If there was an obvious sign that said "I'm battling through something, please be patient with me" we would be mostly supportive and patient with them, even if you dont know them.
No one is going to hold up a sign that says "I haven't been able to afford my anxiety meds for three months due to covid, so please be a lot more understanding of my struggles".
No one is going to just give you those signs. So my goal for this year is to take a step back and try to understand more. Try not to rush to annoyance or fear or anger etc. My goal is to actively look for ways to understand someone's struggle more. My goal is to try the listen more to understand someone, and try to remember that when others are struggling I shouldn't make light of it, I shouldnt dismiss it, and I shouldn't get annoyed or angry and I shouldn't make jokes when I don't know what's going on behind those struggles.
I was way more understanding and even supportive of this stranger because they told me in big bold letters "I'm learning and I'm struggling. Be patient". Most people in real life situations aren't going to give you those signs in big bold letters, so if you're talking to a new person and they seem to have problems, don't rush to dismiss them. If you are in line behind someone at the grocery store that seems extra slow, Dont rush to get upset. If you have a partner, long distance, virtual, 24/7, etc and you see them getting distant don't rush to assume why. Open your eyes, your ears, your heart, and your mind and be more positive. If they notice your effort to be positive, supportive, or see that they aren't annoying you with their struggles maybe, just maybe, you will make their day and yours better by just not rushing to think of yourself first when you don't know what they have going on.
