hello i wanna listen to you yap so talk about your favorite (or least talked about your choice) rare pair ((:
omg lets get into the lurthur to bellucius timeline...... (mine and kara's baby, to no ones surprise...)
i've made a post about the lurthur backstory here, moodboard here and lurthur pinterest board here!!i've also made a vague post about bellucius here and here’s mine and kara’s bellucius pinterest board !!
these relationships both exist in the same universe (and it’s canon compliant) and they’re both deeply connected to lucius' repressed womanhood
pt. 1 lurthur
so, arthur finally officialy break things off with lucius when he has bill. arthur never really tried not to cheat, he knew that lucius was the love of his life and that he couldn't stay away, so he just didn't try. even if part of him hated lucy for choosing her family instead of him. THEY COULD'VE HAD IT ALL !! <- will never not be normal about the bone deep loyalty of the pureblood families. the arranged marriages. the sticking it out til the end because these are the cards you've been dealt. but they're also the cards you're choosing to keep. lucy is not immune to wanting power, fame and luxury. not immune to sacred 28 propaganda. she'll simply have to wait until the next life to be happy !
anyway, arthur breaks things off with lucy when he has bill because having his first son changes him. he falls in love with that little boy at first sight and decides then and there to change. he's going to be a good husband, a good father, and a good role model. he's going to be the perfect family man. he's able to fill the lucy shaped void when he's with his children, only for it to come back in full force when he lays in bed with his wife. <- this is also why he has so many children. to keep filling that void. because his children stop needing him as much when the grow older, so he just keeps having more and more children
lucius never properly comes out as a trans woman to arthur, and she never even properly explores her own womanhood so i'm not even sure that lucy fully understands herself that she's a woman, but arthur is the closest to understand. me and kara have talked time and time again about the similarities between lucy and narcissa, how they're repressed in similar ways but also how they're hopeless romantics in the same exact ways. <- which is why i think lucy picked narcissa to marry, because he sees so much of herself in her. she's the woman lucy will never be.
they're romantic in the type of unrealistic way where they think their intended should just be able to know. should be able to read their minds. and arthur is the one who got the closest, but lucy never lets him all the way in. arthur does pick up on lucy preferring femnine endearmeants, picks up on her wanting to make herself beautiful for him, picks up on lucy wanting to be treated gently and considered delicate and lovely. has whispered in lucy's ear more than once that he wants her to be his wife. i think young lucius always looked very androgynous, tall and beautiful and long flowy hair. it is interesting to me that lucy always kept her hair long... the one true thing about herself she kept with her ..
lucy lives in this fairytale type love story with arthur that she never fully lets him in on. where she's the imprisoned princess with no other choice and arthur as her secret lover, the only one who can save her (but wont, can't). she's the princess, he's the knight. she even loves being lucy's mistress because of this, because of the feminine implications of being a married mans dirty secret... he's the closest she'll ever get to live out her deepest desires. he's the only one, or atleast the one who got closest, who ever got to see the woman she could've been
pt 2. bellucius
bill weasley is born in 1970, just when the first war starts. things have been heavy for a long time before this, dividing lucys attention from arthur / to become man of the house / to submit to voldy. thing is, like i said above, lucy is not immune to sacred 28 propaganda, and she's not even immune to voldy propaganda. especially not after losing arthur, and therefor losing her only connection to her own womanhood which she has entirely projected onto her affair with him <- not a healthy thing obviously to make your identity dependant on another person, but this is not a happy and/or healthy story. and lucy only ever felt like a woman with arthur, it was her escape, and now that's gone and there's a war coming. lucy is canonically a coward, so why wouldn't she be a coward here, too? she loses the only thing she ever wanted, and didn't let herself fully have, so what else is there but to committ wholeheartedly to the other side? she's got nothing to lose, only to gain
this is where the messy affair with bella starts !! bella who takes the mark and loses rita in the process. they end up seeking not-quite comfort in each other, and sort of become exactly what the other needs but in the most unhealthy fucked up way possible. <- bella is always a lesbian to me, no matter the au or relationship she's in. she'll marry a man, sleep with a man, etc, but she can't develop feelings for a man. just entirely a dyke at heart, to me..... which is why lucy latches onto her, because bella will treat her like a woman (yes, bella sees lucy as a woman, but bella also lowkey hates pureblood women because she thinks they’re weak and submissive <- thing she’s refusing to be.) however, that's not necessarily in a good or healthy way. but atleast it allows lucy the smallest, tiniest bit of freedom. just the smallest window of escapism, of being treated like a woman again, even if it's not in the sweet or gentle way arthur treated her
lucy is a well respected deather eater, but at night she's locked away in bellas chambers dressed up in lacey underwear, most likely narcissas, while bella tends to her. lucy being the heir, bella wanting to be heir, and role reversal of it all. behind closed door bella is her man, lucy is her girl. infront of others lucy is a well respected man and bella is rabastans wife. in public, lucy is percieved as a powerful man and bella is just a woman. behind closed doors lucy is bella's babygirl........
bella has always wanted what she can't have. has always wanted to be the man of the house. has always wanted to be heir. she's the oldest sister, older than sirius, and she's still not heir. she has always wanted. but she'll always be a girl. she's doomed to be a girl, a woman, a wife. <- during the first war atleast where she's less powerful.
they're both using each other just to get a taste of something they'll never have. lucy's desire for womanhood, bellas desire to equal to the men she serves. there are lots of ulterior motives in this affair. it's always about favors and getting something. it's about humiliating the other and holding it above their heads. behind closed doors she's lucius' MAN. she gets to taste what it's like to have a wife, what it would feel like to be her father or sirius (had he not been disowned) or orion. she is a powerful woman, but she'll never be a man... but in this affair and behind closed doors she's the most powerful man alive.
there aren't really any feelings involved, mostly doing each other favors and using each other to get close to something they'll never have. but every once in a while there are tender, or atleast sincere, moments between them. one moment that exists in my mind is that bella tells lucy: 'i would've married you if i was a man' <- meaning also that she knows, without lucy outright telling her, about lucy's desire for womanhood
and with this she's not saying that she's in love with lucy, in fact there are not romantic implications behind it at all. it's about pureblood culture and arranged marriages, about making pacts and loyalty. she's saying that she'd take lucy as a wife. she's saying that she'd be a decent husband to her and that she'd protect him. bella would've been a man, which might or might not have allowed her to pick her own wife. and she's saying she would've picked lucy. she's also saying that she sees her. sees lucy as the woman she'll never be and the partnership they’ll never have :/ <- arranged pureblood marriages makes me insane . i think about it All The Time
part 3: conclusion ??? is there one ??? everyones miserable :/
RRRRAAAAAAAA anyway bella goes to azkaban and they don't pick up where they left off when she gets out because bella is almost someone else now. there's only a faint whisper of who she used to be
there's also a lurthur almost relapse. between the first war and the second war. where they end up in arthur's office and it's late at night. and arthur should really ask lucy to leave. he's been so good, for years he's been so good. he hasn't relapsed once. but now arthur has somehow backed lucy into the wall, a hand around her neck, the other in her hair. lucy tells arthur 'i'd leave it all to be yours' and that's what snaps arthur out of it. because they're so fundamentally different about their families. because lucy never connected with draco like arthur connected with bill. and arthus hears 'i'd abandon my child' but lucy is saying 'i should've picked you from the start' and now it's too late because arthur had bill and can never un-have him. can never change back to who he was before. and lucy can never win arthur back, because arthur will never respect someone who could betray their children .................. OH THEY MAKE ME SICK
anyway....... yeah...
