WWX likes to go pheasant hunting. We know this. He struts down the streets of Yunmeng, preening with his prey, winking at girls.
WWX rarely brings his kill to the kitchens of Lotus Pier (our spicy boi can’t cook for shit, let’s be real, he’s been banned multiple times). No, when he is done showing off, he makes his way down dustier alleys, places ignored or forgotten by high-minded cultivators. In one such nook there is a family of street urchins. They make do with what they can.
He approaches the lip of the alley, where two kids sit, drawing pictures in the dirt. They raise their heads and smile.
If they choose the former, WWX bids them to gather the herd as he lights a talisman in a stone pit they’ve dug in an alcove, carves the bird with Suibian. He smiles and laughs, telling them faraway stories of night hunts. Sometimes it takes three of them pulling his arm to stay his hand with the seasoning (binch keeps an entire Qiankun pouch full of hot chili powder in one of his sleeves you can’t convince me otherwise), although mostly they don’t mind.
If they choose the latter, WWX nods and turns, whistling as he makes his way to the butcher. His approach is noted with cringes and a sighs, because our boy is a relentless, expert haggler. He ignores the whispers.
“Why does the young master even need such a high price?”
“He must want to use the money for something the Jiang’s won’t give him allowance for…”
“Ugh, must he be so persistent for booze and women?!”
He never contradicts them. Never defends himself. Never tells them where the money goes. Not. Even. Once.
Bonus: WWX’s dietary preferences make sense given his time living on the street. He likes meat because the animals he hunted were likely the only fresh food he had a chance to get at. Vegetables would have come from dumpsters, moldy scraps (he knew enough to know dumpster meat wasn’t safe, and besides, *the dogs* went for dumpster meat). Spices cover the lingering taste of rot. Moreover, capsaicin has antimicrobial and antifungal properties. Spicy means clean. Spicy means no painful churning in his guts, no diarrhea, no fever. He likely also overcooks his food for similar reasons.
Extra bonus: One day, visiting Yunmeng, WWX invites LWJ pheasant hunting. LWJ knows this was one of WWX’s favorite boyhood activities, and humors him. As they get back to town, kill slung over his shoulder, WWX takes him to that same alley. New faces, unfamiliar with the rowdy, wild, generous cultivator. Still, he has food. LWJ watches in awe as WWX cooks for the kids, smiling and laughing as though he never left. When they return from this excursion, he holds WWX tight at his side. He falls in love all over again.
Since then, whenever LWJ goes to town to buy meat for WWX, he buys twice as much, along with some extra veggies, finding for himself Caiyi Town’s selfsame backstreets. One day WWX joins him on his grocery errands. (“Lan-er gege, you are really spending too much on food. You should let me haggle for you.” “No need.”) He protests as he sees how much LWJ buys. (“Lan Zhan what’s all this for?” “For you.” “Are you trying to fatten me up? Oh! Is there going to be a surprise party?? None of the GusuLan kids will eat this meat while at the Cloud Recesses though? Is A-Ling visiting? Please tell me if Jiang Cheng is coming I need to brace myself for that sort of impact… Oh where are we going—this isn’t the way back. Is this part of the surprise??”) His eyes widen as LWJ turns them down an alley and presents the extra food to another group of homeless kids. When he returns to WWX’s side, WWX clutches his arm and gazes up speechless, eyes shining.
******************* AHHHHH IM SOFT AHDJAKALA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS @beneaththebrim