#betrayor

[unrealunknown]

I betrayed my family I betrayed my family I betrayed I betrayed I betrayed

[unrealunknown]

I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor traitor traitor traitor traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor

[unrealunknown]

I'm not trans I'm not trans I'm stupid I'm stupid I'm stupid I'm transphobic I'm unlovable I'm disgusting I'm disgusting I thought I was I thought I was for so long I'm fucking stupid I'm stupid I'm stupid I'm so fucking stupid I'm disgusting I'm disgusting I'm disgusting I'm unlovable I'm a monster I'm a monster I'm a monster

[unrealunknown]

I'm disgusting I'm weak I deserve to die I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor to my body I'm a traitor to my humanity I'm a traitor to my people I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor I'm a traitor

[unrealunknown]

I'm the most hateful version of myself I've ever been.

[unrealunknown]

I'm a traitor.

[caustis-arc]

it’s easy enough to convince himself he’s traveled north with the sole intention of seeing family; attempting to sell the lie that he’s staying for them, however, is a different animal. lesley misses new york when he’s in d.c., and d.c. when he’s in new york. manhattan was where he spent most of his time as a late teen, which gives it a leg up on washington, even if the result of such escapism is impossible to write off. (it’s not the worst turn for those seeking to feed a drug and/or alcohol addiction.)

les likes that he disappears in this city. he can tuck himself into a nook between shelves at a vintage bookstore, connect to their wi-fi with a password he scribbled down years ago, and watch on, captivated by the people, as his text cursor blinks mockingly on his laptop screen.

the first he speaks since he arrived and made his purchases is, of course, a statement rich with bitterness. there are 20-somethings a row over  ---  he doesn’t have to look up from his computer to know just their type  ---  battling to prove themselves the most knowledgeable.

         ‘ it’s pronounced yates, ’ he mumbles, then notices a ‘yeats’ in the last sentence he typed and angry-taps delete until it’s gone. ‘ not fucking yeets, you pulp-fiction-obsessed ‘nice guy’ not-all-men piece of shit. ’

@betrayor​.