Scotty and Matei with #23
23. III. Life (The Biggest Troll)
There is an undead monster in Scotty’s house.
Well, technically, it isn’t a house. It’s an apartment. And technically it belongs to the undead monster, whose name is on the lease. Scotty is still technically deceased so it would be difficult to take out an apartment in his name. The monster is also technically deceased, maybe. Ironically they don’t talk much about death.
The undead monster, the Gothic nightmare that haunted the dreams of a generation, twists in Scotty’s lap, his head resting against his thighs. Scotty holds onto him with both hands. Spectral fingers play with undead curls of dark hair, brushing icy fingertips over the side of his neck that had once been adorned in a collar.
“Matei,” whispers the ghost. “What do you drink at happy hour?”
One eye slips open to look at Scotty.
“Oh my god,” groans the vampire, twisting again until his nose hits just above Scotty’s knee.
Scotty laughs softly at his own bad joke, still playing with Matei’s hair. “That or a Bloody Mary.”
“I bet Clarissa doesn’t have to deal with this.”
“Or, wait, a Bloodweiser.”
“I wish you weren’t dead already so that I could kill you.”There is less than zero venom behind the statement. Scotty would be able to take Matei a little more seriously if he couldn’t feel him smiling against his leg. Somewhere in the room Matei’s phone is thudding away quietly, playing some violent song that probably sounds better live. They both stink of weed, but Scotty isn’t high at all— one of the downsides of being dead.
“I wish you’d killed me instead,” he tries to joke. It feels a bit like when you take moguls wrong and the edge of your ski catches a ridge of ice and you topple over and fall flat on your face. Matei turns over slowly, staring at him with red, reproachful eyes. “Sorry,” Scotty whispers. “Just a joke.”
“Not funny,” Matei whispers back, and gently teases, “B positive.”
“You got it,” Scotty says. “Hey, you know why Clarissa doesn’t like going to the casino?”
“Because the stakes are too high.”
“These are getting worse, babe.”
