#bflsmepgroup

[manadcampbellrpblog]

::BFLS:: Do it Like a Dude MEP {request}

by

BFLSMepGroup

[nightwings-ass]

doesn't it suck when you look at other people's videos and know you'll never amount to anything?

[liztopia8908-blog]

Hello there! I just wanted to ask you why are you still holding a grudge against BLS especially Kitty and Zewy? I'm mean your idea was rejected, i understand that, but everyone's ideas at some point in life will be rejected and if everyone did what you are doing the whole world would be a crappy ass place. I don't truly believe that you are being fair to everyone else by making BLS, kitty and Zewy look bad. What's to win from that? I hope you let go of this and just move on with life

*laughs hysterically* Someone's BEEN MONTHS LATE IN THE GAME. 

Look, Sweetie, I'm over that now...BLS wants to be robotic, let them. Not my problem anymore..don't want anything to do with them. As far as Kitty and Zewy are concerned, Zewy and I have come to an understanding. I no longer hold a grudge against him. Kitty, is a different story. I don't like how she handled the situation and I expressed it to her multiple times. She has a problem with me. Not my fault she sucked at handling the crossfire. But I wish her all the best.

I hope you let go of this drama and move on with life because I already did, okay sunshine? Here's a cute photo of Jackson Rathbone.

[liztopia8908-blog]

Why is Kitty ignoring me on purpose? All I want to do is talk...it seems like all everyone wants to be reminded of all the hate I've caused or "have been doing" 

Does anyone care how I feel? Everyone says they don't care, they've moved on...that's complete bullshit! If you moved on, I wouldn't have to wait months and years just to try to talk to you! How can I let any of this go if everyone still treats you like an outcast? I don't want to be apart of any MEP group or do video editing but I do want my friends back...

Is that too much to ask to have someone share your ideas with?

I feel like this sometimes....

A stupid face in a flash mob crowd. That's how you and BLS feel about me, Kittyprydex1?

[liztopia8908-blog]

Seeing Things In A New Light.

It's been awhile, guys!

I've been away dealing with real life: school, friends, family, drama. I realized that the bullshit #Zewy and #BFLS had put on me PALES in comparison to the stuff I'm going through right now. I've really been through hell, real life and here.

I've taken time to heal myself from wounds of old scars and finding peace of a very ugly situation. There was a lot of anger, betrayal, lies and bitterness at both of ends. 

I want to take the time to address the situation in a truthful manner. To those who chose to read, please take into consideration of the feelings involved. Do not see this in a one-sided view. Though, I know maybe some of u might:

I was angry at the fact that Zewy went behind my back and scrapped my idea, without telling me. He didn't tell me what the other administrators said, he didn't tell me weather or not should I pursue it further...he just threw me under the bus. And it may seem like a frivolous thing right now (it is to me) But at that time, I was having relationship issues, coping with depression and trying to find somewhere or someplace to belong or to feel important. At that time, BFLS made me feel that way....but I couldn't even do anything because I had computer trouble and stuff. When I came back from hiatus...it was like I was a stranger.

I was more angry at Zewy because he betrayed me. He was my friend and it felt like a betrayal. And when I tried to voice my side of things, he cut me off again..saying I was crazy, he didn't trust me and "as long as I'm an administrator, rebelqueen is not coming back." I don't know where you're from but in America, FRIENDS DON'T TREAT FRIENDS LIKE CRAP.  So, I sent those hate mails and cussed him out. I took everything out on him and BFLS because none of them understood the pain I was in. They only took Zewy and Aveo's side. And it fucking pissed me off.

The hate video was uncalled for. I was in that place again....I just couldn't stand the fact that Zewy was acting nice and sweet like nothing happened and I felt miserable. It was almost manipulative. I just wanted, at the time, BFLS to suffer like I did. It sounds vindictive I know....and I regret it. I think that was the thing that burned any bridge for me in making amends to my friends.

When I tried to relaunch my MEP group, recruiting members was like pulling teeth. I know that MEP vidders would have each other backs...and I felt alone. I knew I burned a lot of bridges with my behavior and I had to start new. But I felt like it shouldn't be that hard..not everyone was in BFLS. And even if they were, they really didn't care about YT battles. I thought Zewy and Aveo were spreading vicious slander on me. So, I asked Zewy about it and if he was, to stop.

He denied it and claimed that he was helping me to get members. Normally, I would believe him but...I'm not a trusting person. I've been walked on, manipulated, and hurt too many times to know when someone is pulling a fast one on me. So that's what happened the second time Zewy and I argued. He kept saying that I was lying, forced me to apologize and accused me of slander  and having a crush on him. I just ignored him and stopped talking to him.

This recent fight.....well...I'll admit it was mostly my fault. I was trying to get JLPSE, my MEP group, up and running but it was some technical and inevitable obstacles I overlooked. That forced me to dissolve it. I was very depressed about it and blamed BFLS and Zewy for it because they broke my spirit and I felt crushed and defeated. And Zewy still wouldn't admit to his mistakes. It just pissed me off. Then one of the members, #Mori, accused me for putting the word "ASSHOLES" on the BFLS YT Channel feed. Truthfully, I didn't know about it until she told me. So, I was pissed when she accused me while saying she didn't want to be in my group. 

*Sighs* I didn't want to have anything to do with people who kept acting shady and talking bullshit. They kept accusing me for spamming their tumblr page, putting hate messages, accusing them. I had nothing to do with that!  I was busy with school and my own life. Then, I found out that Mori posted our private conversation, my confessional video and everything I said and did on her page. I asked her can we please call a truce and not to post anything about me. She told me it's her blog she can do what she want. As much as it pains me to say this: she's right. I can't control the feelings of others. They hate me, they hate me. They want to forgive me...so be it. I can't do anything about it. As long as I forgive myself. So, instead of spreading more hate, I did what I do best: Write. 

I created a animated mini-series "Battlefield Chronicles" I didn't want to offend anyone. This was to tell the story of my redemption from this situation through my eyes. And, shockingly enough, many BFLS members find it offensive. I don't care. Not anymore. Zewy calls it "cyberbullying." I'm not insulting him so I've done nothing wrong.

Zewy tried to "apologize" to me recently about two or three months ago. I knew he meant well, trying to make this go away. But, I don't see the genuineness in it anymore. He's just doing it so I would shut up about it. When he did it, it was a half-insult. I told him: Can you please take the moment and consider what I had to go through? The pain I was in? I understand I hurt you, but you hurt me as well." He made a public post on August 10, saying this:

You know whatliztopia8908 ? Keep acting like you do. I really couldn’t careless.

Personally for me, that was very immature. But I don't really care anymore. Here's my take, if he means acting like I've moved on and taking this situation in stride than okay....I'll act like that. 

Just know...I've moved on. I'm seeing things in a whole new light and perspective. Things don't get to me anymore. I'm finally at peace with what I've done and I will continue to pursue my creative career. To the people that stuck with me and are still sticking by me: Thank you so much! 

Here's my message to #bflsmepgroup: I'm sorry for what I've done to you but it's in the past. I've taken responsibility. So it doesn't give you any excuse to spam your own tumblr page pretending to be me. If any of u, newbie or otherwise want to bring out the worse in me and start something, it won't work.

To #fatgirlandrobin: I don't care personally if you blog about me. Hell, you can blog about this: I give you permission. But my only request is this: you give me the proper respect. You can, rant, bitch, call me a barbie-lover. But DO NOT  stoop so low as to twist my blogs into something it isn't.

To #oozewyoo: I forgive you. Mind you, it has taken me a long time to do so. But I realize that weather or not, you do take responsibility for your actions, I can't live my life staying pissed at you and every other person that has wronged me. I know that deep, down inside you are a genuinely wonderful person with a good heart. I still have that video you made me when I was going through my breakup. If there is any sincerity left in you, please do not see this as an insult. Rather, a letter of closure. 

I hope anyone reading this....finds it in their hearts to forgive me and give me another chance to become their friends again. If not, I will continue to be nice to them. Just please do not attack me anymore. 

Love. Peace. Joy. Laugh.

Queeny.

P.S. Battlefield Chronicles is still going to air.

[liztopia8908-blog]

About "The Battlefield Chronicles"

The "Battlefield Chronicles" are LOOSELY based on my dilemma with a Battlefield Love Studios. It's not to offend them or insult them in anyway. I'm telling this story the way I know how...creatively.

If any of you people have a problem with it.....talk to me privately. Don't go to BLS and write anonomouys comments on their dashboard cuz they're too cocky and bougie to do something about it.

Everyone has a right to their opinion, a right to tell a story. This is mine. And I will say it the only way I know how. By playing "The Battlefield Chronicles" I will let my voice be heard. 

THIS IS NOT OBSESSION, THIS IS REDEMPTION.  

[liztopia8908-blog]

U don't know me, then don't judge me

I have a message for BLS: There is a FINE LINE between talking crap about someone simply because u hate them. And talking crap about someone just to defend themselves.

I'm sure u smart people know what "bullying" so I'm just going to explain this simple fact. When you throw someone under the bus, treat them like crap, ignore them or shut their voice out completely, it hurts their feelings. So apologize.

When u do it REPEATEDLY and DENY IT LIKE A CRIMINAL, chances are that they will get pissed off and cuss u out. That's what happened with me. I'm not a hater, a basher or any type of random negative person. I'm a very positive person but I hurt very easily. And when someone does me wrong and get away with it....by lying and denying it. Yeah, I'm gonna be pissed. I'm gonna say something about it. And TRUST AND BELIEVE, I WILL CALL THAT PERSON OUT!!!!

So, I'M NOT SORRY for posting that video, I'M NOT SORRY for voicing my opinion. I spoke what I belived was true. Ur gonna cuss me out about that, bring it. But I am sorry, If I offended anyone in the process. And I will be MORE THAN HAPPY 2 talk to anyone who wants to know why I was so angry and upset.

I'm not a horrible person. If u know me, then don't judge me.

Thank u.

[nightwings-ass]

Say Something {Audition for BFLSMepgroup}