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Hello, and welcome.
This side blog is going to be dedicated to ongoing mental health processing, trauma recovery, and religious deconstruction.
If you relate to any of that, I am sorry but do know you aren't alone.
If you ever have any thoughts you'd like to share or discussions you'd like to have, my inbox is open.
(Verse):
Turn on social media desperate for replies
Endless doomscroll spiraling until your battery dies
Take this pill for happiness, take this one for your weight
Finally catch up with one trend and find you're far too late
(Chorus):
There it is again, that funny feeling…
That funny feeling.
There it is again, that funny feeling…
That funny feeling.
(Verse):
Waking up one Wednesday, but in 1955
Explaining to your parents why you wish you weren't alive
Your online friend in Canada is closer than your boss
Weighed women vs gas prices and justified the loss
No one's having children cuz they can't afford the cost
Of pre- mourning their babies every time they hear a shot
Regulating bathrooms, people’s bodies, people’s choice
The lobbyists with the money are the ones who have a voice
(Chorus)
Live-action remakes, repetition, seen this all before
Genocide and backdoor deals, another world wide war
Read the word of Jesus, try to do as he commands
Then finding out the Bible’s on the list of books to ban
Working one job 9-5, another 6-10
Have your day off, blow your budget, do it all again
Contemplate existence, make a dark joke just to cope
Worrying the day will come when it won't be a joke
(Chorus)
If I Have To Suffer So Do You
SO. DO. YOU.
//
You are forcibly removed from my inbox
gosh darn it bgos...
I am supremely uncomfortable– so you gotta be, too.
Raakx: I’m sorry BGOS. I succumbed to the meme and began singing along ten seconds into the song xD I can’t help it. Once All Star begins, I can’t stop. Even if it is all in C.
I even began dancing
Fics Masterlist
I decided to make a masterlist of my fics in chronological order. My fics, while being stand alone pieces, are all tied together with small details here and there, and do follow the canonical AOS timeline.
Pre Academy:
Repeat Offender
Summary: Jim returned from Tarsus broken in more ways than one and alone to deal with it. His brushes with the law throughout the years, and how Christopher Pike saw through it all.
Academy Era:
You're a Casualty I Can't Forget (Learn to Trust Me)
Summary: Jim has wormed his way into Len’s life after that fateful shuttle ride and a few shared drinks. He also hates doctors. Len doesn’t quite know why. One accident, two injuries, and an involuntary confinement later, he finds out. Mentions of Tarsus, mentions of past abuse, minor descriptions of medical treatment.
If You Need a Place to Crash (Let Me Catch You When You Fall)
Summary: Jim’s roommate is a dick. Bones is there to help. Close quarters means finding out stuff about the other person, and not all of it pleasant. Jim doesn’t sleep on his back for a reason. Mentions of past abuse, canon character death.
You're One of Us (You're Here To Stay)
Summary: Thanksgiving at the McCoy house, complete with Len, JoJo, Mama Bones and Jim. There’s food, and pie, and with a kid and a bigger, older kid (Jim) running around, something was bound to get broken eventually. Jim’s not used to normal family dynamics, and overreacts a little. Mentions of past abuse, minor medical treatment.
I Am Not Who I Was (Don’t Call Me My Past)
Summary: Jim hates being called Jimmy. That's not who he is-- not any more. But how the hell was he supposed to explain that without dumping his whole life story in the process? Mentions of past abuse.
I’ll Build for You A Home (From My Bones)
Summary: Len came to Starfleet with nothing but his bones... but Jim? Jim had nothing, full stop.
The First Time He Speaks It
Summary: The first time Len says, “I love you”, it catches Jim by surprise. A cute, fluffy short piece for a Secret Santa Exchange in 2017.
Star Trek 2009:
These Ghosts Are Not My Own
Summary: Post-Narada and Jim isn't coping. He hasn't eaten or slept, he's beat all to hell and his head is full of memories that he's pretty sure aren't his. He’s pretty sure he’s having a panic attack, and he can’t seem to breath. Of course Bones is here to witness it all. Wonderful. Mentions of Tarsus, mentions of past abuse.
And It's Never Enough (But God Knows I Tried)
Summary: Jim doesn’t feel like he did enough to prevent the aftermath of Nero’s devastation. Awaiting Starfleet’s decision about his probation, he sits alone watching the news and drinking. They’re spouting the same old stuff: hero of the federation, golden boy of Starfleet. He thinks it’s all a bunch of bullshit. Bones thinks otherwise. Can be read as an interlude between chapters 2 and 3 of “These Ghosts...”
Star Trek 2009- Pre Into Darkness:
By Any Other Name (The Man is Still the Same)
Summary: Spock does not understand. Kirk has been, thus far, immensely successful as captain, well liked and respected by the crew, despite his multiple ongoing breaches of Starfleet protocol. He simply refused to call anyone by their proper title, and it perplexed Spock to no end. Minor violence, mentions of past abuse.
How Jim Learned to Keep a Shirt On
Summary: A sunburn can really teach one a lot of things. For example, Jim is pretty sure he’s dying. Bones does not seem to agree. This has taught Jim that Bones clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about, medical degrees or no. Mentions of past abuse.
P.S.: Happy Birthday
Summary: For all that Jim hated his own birthday, he was sure hell bent on celebrating others’.
Usually this wasn’t something that bothered Len; in fact, he usually found it rather sweet how Jim would go out of his way to make sure that someone’s special day was as special as he could make it. Today, however… McKirk.
Post Into Darkness:
If He Should Die Before He Wakes (I Pray the Lord My Soul to Take)
Summary: Bones sits at Jim’s bedside after the events of Khan and the warp core. Jim won’t wake up. Bones needs him to. Mentions of past abuse, minor medical treatment.
Resurrection: The Year After
Summary: Post-Into Darkness. Jim has a long recovery period ahead of him. Coming back from the dead ain't easy, and putting someone back together after a trauma like that is no walk in the park. Thankfully, he has a pretty amazing crew to help him through it. My NaNoWriMo contribution for 2017. Mentions of past abuse, Tarsus IV, medical treatment, PTSD, depression, grieving and disordered eating.
Just Leave Your Problems On the Shelf (We’ll Be Alright)
Summary: A few months into the 5 year mission, Jim, in a fit of frustration, says something insensitive. Bones doesn’t react well, and a long overdue conversation is had. Discussion of canon character death.
Sometimes, A Feeling
Summary: Spock shows affection the best way he knows how. Jim wonders why.
@beauty-grace-outer-space said: <3 <3 <3
Love you, too <3 <3 <3
Almost heaven...?
…West Virginia?
YOU'RE...????????
YES
