#bhishm

[twosquareroti]

Duryodhana sometime after battle: Why have you not killed Arjuna yet...?

Bhishma and Drona preparing to explain for the 11th time that Arjuna is literally protected by God Himself:

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews-Episode 22: In which horny deer rishis set off a chain of events.

Hello everyone! I’m back after a VERY long hiatus, had some real life issues to deal with, along with the aggravation of changing an url and some online drama too. And I’m right in time for Diwali, too, yay! Happy Diwali, people! Also Happy Children’s day!

Tagging my usual taglist: @ambitiousandcunning @medhasree @shaonharryandpannisim @hermioneaubreymiachase @hindumyththoughts @chaanv @ratnas-musings @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername @justahappyreindeer @milesbianmorales @allegoriesinmediasres @pratigyakrishnaki @iamnotthat @adishaktis @ratnas-musings. Enjoy your day, everyone!

Review is under the cut.

PS: Nila updates- The Sarcastic StarBharat review of episode 18 is missing from my blog for some reason, I’ll reupload it. Also, for anyone who’s listening to my song covers, the next items are Karam Ki Talwar from Arjun the Warrior Prince, Moh Moh Ke Dhage from Dum Laga Ke Haisha and Jo Beji Thi Dua, from Shangai.

 Okay. Rehash is in order, along with some new nicknames. Till the last episode, Madri has reached Hastinapur, the precap of the last episode makes it clear that this is the episode with horny deer rishis.

I had made a numbering mistake in counting the number of canon fails, my bad, so, as of now, we’re at canon fail #49.

Here’s the nickname rehash and additions to be made-

1. Bhishm-Mr. Paragon of Perfection

2. Dhritrashtra- Mr. Drama Queen (Honorary mention-DisasterRashtra, courtesy of @iamnotthat)

3. Pandu-Honey Boy/Lord of Cheesy Lines

4. Gandhari-Ms. Always Patnidharma

5. Shakuni-Mr. Ominous Music/Mr. Annoying Poseur

6. Karn-Mr. Glitterwash

7. Kunti-Ms. Melodrama/Lady of Cheesy Lines

8. Amba (deceased)-Psycho Princess

9. Satyavati-Psycho Mum

10. Vichitraveerya (deceased)-Drunk Kid

Here are the new additions:

11. Vidur (finally)- Picking the line where he likens himself to a thorn during Pandu’s coronation, he’s Mr. Weepy Thorn.

12. Madri-Ms. Smarmy Tears

13. Krishn-(Parody version, anyway, also, FINALLY) Mr. Excess Gyaandaan.

Now, let’s get to business.

Alright, so, last episode, Gandhari was told that Drama Queen wants her in his chambers. Being the aadarsh, Ms. Always Patnidharma that she is, she goes immediately, and that’s where today’s episode of choice begins.

She stumbles in and stutters out her usual ‘Husband?’ (International viewers, please note, Hotstar has rolled out the English subtitles for your most unfavorite show. It translates ‘Arya’ as Lord, but I’m keeping the ‘husband’ variation, because no.)

Anyway. He shushes her. ‘Don’t say anything, Gandhari, just listen. The mind is so weird, isn’t it?’ Okay…why this sudden volte face? Ah, he’s trying to apologise, I guess? He says that he was absorbed in his negative emotions of hurt, grief and jealousy, but when no news of Honey Boy came from the battlefield, he realized that he still worries and cares for his little brother, and that he was merely unfortunate, not conspired against, concluding that he was unjust to Honey Boy. O…kay? Should I count this as a canon fail? Canon Dhritrashtra can be two-faced, so eh, leave it.

Ms. Patnidharma is shaking her head next to him, because of course, she’s that much of a doormat. ‘I was unfair to you too. I had rejected you, Gandhari, but if I realise my mistake, will you accept me?’ Ah. I see what this is. Anvil-shadowing. Just before Pandu ‘loses’ his ability to ‘be a husband’ Drama Queen and Patnidharma make up with each other. Newsflash, writers: Nothing is this clean cut.

Of course, that was precisely the opening Ms. Patnidharma was waiting for, so she feels her husband up as they hug. Drama Queen’s heart, apparently, very anomalously, is overflowing with happiness, now that he has unloaded his weakness onto Patnidharma, or so he says. Don’t believe him, though, don’t be the naïve idiot Patnidharma is, because that weakness of his wreaks bloody wrecking ball havoc in the future.  

‘So what if I don’t become the King?’ Excuse me. I just choked on my water. What’s up with this volte-face? Just what? ‘I have more respect here than the King himself!’ I think I’m gonna count this as canon fail #50 because nah, he ain’t gonna say this in any adaptation that’s sane. And of course, since he’s randy too, it seems, he goes ‘When you give me a son, he’ll be the eldest son and King after Pandu. I’ll also get the pleasure of being a King. Will you give me the gift of such a talented son?’ Ah. So that’s what the volte-face is for. Canon fail #50 cancelled. Drama Queen would say anything at all to get his way, that’s right. Patnidharma, predictably, goes all gushy. ‘Yes, husband, for your sake, I’ll go to the portals of Yamlok themselves!’ Ah, sheesh, sometimes, watching this show makes me think that I should projectile-yeet myself to Yamlok.

He laughs. ‘When the time comes,’ he says, ‘we’ll go to the portals of death together, Gandhari.’ Well, that, at least, is true. He continues that they still have many happy moments to experience. She nods, melting into his embrace.

Scene changes to a green vista, the whickering of horses heard. Madri, henceforth known as Ms. Smarmy Tears, is laughing, Ms. Melodrama being stony faced and stoic. (That’s a change, though the music manages to make even THAT dramatic) The camera focuses on a deer, and Smarmy asks Honey Boy to stop, because it’s a beautiful deer. Okay…I know what’s coming up next. Anvil-shadowing, anyone? I realise it was very long ago when we were introduced to Ms. Melodrama, but I’ll give you a short rehash. She was introduced saving a deer from hunters. Anyone got the hint? It’s an obvious ‘Madri is an evil witch!’ gambit. Please do not take it. I know that in canon, Kunti and Madri probably had a fractious relationship given the whole fracas over the boon, but I refuse to believe Madri would be this transparently biatch-y.

And…bingo! Smarmy says that the deer is absolutely unique, and follows it up with a request for its skin. Melodrama, of course, is having none of it. She passionately launches into defence of the deer’s children who’d be orphaned, basically echoing her very first piece of dialogue on this show. Do you think there’s a chance that they dubbed it in? I mean…I wouldn’t be able to say that twice with a straight face. But, whatever gives, I guess. Fawn get orphaned often, goes Smarmy. It’s not like I’m asking you for the position of the Queen, can’t you do this much for me? Since StarB has a thing of making women either bitches or doormat ditches, its Honey Boy who cuts in. ‘Speak of good things alone.’ Did this guy get a theology class between the ‘war’ and this moment? ‘I’ll get the deer for you, the rest of you please stay here.’ And then the show takes yet another opportunity to set Melodrama as good and Smarmy as bad, as Melodrama tries to give Smarmy a moral lesson about abstaining from killing for no reason, and Smarmy going all casteist (not sure if that’s the right word, since afaik Kunti’s maternal family are also Kshatriyas? Yadava is not one family. It’s an entire dynasty.) And here’s canon fail #50 and #51. #50 is the fact that Pandu, in canon, hunts the deer because he wants to. Madri has nothing to do with it in the text. #51 because the jibe about Yadavs being shepherds that Madri makes smacks of a misconception about politics in the MBH. The idea of ‘Yadavas’ being shepherds is present because of the lore of Krishn and Balaram in Gokul. While I’m sure there might be some branches of the family that may dabble in those pursuits, typically, considering the social structure of that time, Kunti’s family is of quite royal pedigree.

The scene switches to Honey Boy looking for deer, listening attentively to the rustling leaves. Really, this question goes for canon too, haven’t these guys learnt a thing at all from the whole Dashrath/Sravan Kumar fracas? That it is TOTALLY not a good idea to just randomly shoot in a random forest, anyone? At least sight the prey a little, no?

Regardless, he shoots an arrow, the tell-tale thunk is heard, followed by a human scream (the typically serial-ish ‘nahi, nahi!’ aka ‘no, no!’). Alarmed, he sets off in pursuit of the sound. The camera focuses on a bloody arrow then showing us a rishi and a rishin. ‘Maharishi Kidam?’ exclaims Pandu. ‘It was you?’ ‘What have you done? You shot an arrow without recognizing me! I was dallying (read: deer hanky-panky-ing) with my wife in the form of a deer, and you shot an arrow without considering that the grace and the form of the deer could only mean it is such?’ Okay, for all that I want to call this canon fail #52, I’ll be honest…because such a scene, at least one of Pandu killing Kidama when he’s in sexual congress with his wife in the form of a deer does happen. Sometimes, *sigh* canon itself is quite strange.

But…in the whole of this thing, I have an observation to make, a few questions to ask, in the context of this serial:

1. Madri saw only one deer? What was the deer rishi doing, a deer mating ritual of some sort? Where was the wife then?

2. Does what he said mean that there might be…other rishis doing deer hanky panky?

3. Kidama was a rishi, right? He’d have figured out Pandu wants the ‘deer’ when he saw them and vanished? He could have, IDK, sprinted off real quick, or turned back into human, or just vanished once more. Why escalate it this much?

Honey Boy is very contrite and begs for forgiveness. Canon fail #53. In canon, he basically goes, well, Kings hunt deer, why cry about it? (That is, the dialogue given to Madri to establish her as ‘bad’)  The deer rishi brings up the Dashrath point I gave above and says that Honey Boy’s crime can’t be pardoned, that he shouldn’t have killed a man in congress with his wife, so he curses him that he’ll die the moment he’ll have congress with any woman. Canon fail #54. The original curse specifies ‘his loved one’ not any random woman.

Cue dramatic panoramic shot and dramatic title bgm. Honey Boy is in tears. The rishi dies.

Scene changes and we’re back in Hastina, where the court fool is entering. He says he has a lot of questions. Mr. Weepy Thorn prompts him to ask his questions. So there’s this long drawn out riddle session that’s set up to predict that Gandhari is pregnant, and Drama Queen will be experiencing the love of a son soon. There’s happiness all round, lots of hugs too. Of course, this show takes no rest from anvil shadowing either, so exactly at this moment enters Honey Boy with his wives. Honey Boy is welcomed with joy and immediately apprised of the news. In his head, the dying deer rishi’s words echo, even as his wives smile by his side. (Ah, apparently, there’s anvil juxtaposition, too! Whee!)

Anyway. Satyavati notices he ain’t looking happy and she asks him if he got what she said. He manages to sponge her off, hug his brother and congratulate him. When he does that, Annoying Poseur closes his eye.

As he ascends the throne, deer rishi’s words come back to him, asking what kind of a King he is. Honey Boy refrains from climbing the final stair, turning. He says that he has something of great importance to announce, confessing that he has killed Kidama and is no longer worthy of being a King.

His announcement is met with shock all around, as he renounces the throne of Hastina. Cue dramatic title bgm again. Camera focuses on Satyavati (who’s quite less psycho nowadays), then panning one by one to Drama Queen, Paragon of Perfection, Smarmy, Melodrama, Patnidharma, Ambika, Ambalika, a grinning Poseur (both eyes open), back to Honey boy and Mr. Paragon as he drops his angvastr limply.

Scene changes as Mr. Perfection walks inside Honey Boy’s chambers and they have an argument about his responsibilities. Honey Boy puts forward that for all that Satyavati wants a worthy King, he is no longer worthy, that even Indra renounced heaven for the killing of a sage and meditated for eons, that mere charity and abstinence as suggested by Mr. Thorn and Kripacharya won’t be enough. He continues that the duty of a King, the man who holds the royal scepter is to dispense justice to his people. He asks who would mete justice out on a King? The camera pans out to Mr. Perfection, standing mute, ending the episode.

Alright, this whole thing is canon fail #55. Pandu does not go back to Hastina, he sets out immediately to atone. Also #56, his wives know everything as he does. He doesn’t keep it hidden from them.

Precap: ‘But the crime was ours’ says Smarmy. ‘the punishment, however, has to be borne by our yet unborn children!’ ‘You can’t ever have children.’ Announces Honey Boy, going on to inform them of the curse.

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews-Episode 15: In which we head somewhere near canon teritorry.

Vidur’s words are echoing in Mr. Angry Drama Queen’s head as he throws knives at targets. He tenses at the sound of payals and throws a knife in the general direction, which lands at Ms. Always Patnidharm’s feet. “Husband?” “Disperse.” She’s not your servant, you moron! And she’s been way more considerate to you than you deserve. “I said, disperse!” he snarls, throwing a knife that gets stuck in her veil. She extricates the knife, he is huffing with that eye twitch of his. (I really want to know if that twitch is VFX or that guy really has that extreme control of his ocular muscles). “Today,” she says, “I find my decision of tying a cloth over my eyes right. The world that is so unjust to my husband is unworthy of being seen.” You know what, Ms. Always Patnidharma? I was actually feeling bad for you and then you go into extreme doormat mode once more. 

A servant enters. “Apologies Prince,”. Mr. Angry Drama Queen turns. “The ministers have decided that the coronation-“ Mr. Angry Drama Queen cuts the servant off. “Will be of Pandu. I knew it. He would be very happy, wouldn’t he?” 

The scene flashes to Honey Boy saying that no one can be happy with the decision. He appeals to Bhishm to the sound of sad, dragging BGM that he is his elder brother’s servant, he can take his side, but not his place. There is a bit of drama dialogue in between, I am skipping that. 

The scene flashes to Mr. Angry Drama Queen lamenting that he never knew when his little brother learned to betray him like that. He continues, saying that Bhishm must have advised Honey Boy to do his duty despite his grief. (Is it just me, or is this actually very contrived story telling?) Scene flashes to Bhishm saying exactly that and continuing the dialogue, that Honey Boy should has no choice but to bear that duty. He continues that a man is not bigger than the throne, nor is love bigger than duty. He says that if Dhritrashtra could be made fit to be King by any means, he’d have tried them. But in the given situation, where Dhritrashtra has to be blind, for the sake of the nation, Honey Boy has to be King. 

Honey Boy then makes a protestation of loyalty to Mr. Drama Queen like Bharat did to Ram, swearing to govern in his name. 

(Okay, folks, we ain’t near canon yet.) Mr. Drama Queen does an angry sarcastic laugh, and asks if he should give his shoes to him. He then goes off into a rant about people pretending to be loyal and his permanent ‘vanvaas’ from his rights, about his children having no rights. He goes off into another laughing fit, when changes into crying. Ms. Always Patnidharma hugs him. The soldier leaves. He pushes her away, staggers to his feet, leaving her alone and in tears.

Mr. Honey Boy is crowned. (Isn’t there a difference between the crowning of a Yuvaraj and a King? Everything is the same here!) 

Mr. Annoying Poseur stalks out of the ceremony. Honey Boy is crowned King. He sits on the Throne looking worried.

Title BGM plays, there is a scenic view of a waterfall and…we flash to Mr. Ominous Music playing dice. Cue the precap scene, aka canon fail #24. I am not going to explain that again, sorry. Nor am I going to explain the preceding ott drama. 

And…skip some more. Krishna Gyaan. This one is about vengeance and injustice. 

We now skip to Mr. Drama Queen cleaning a sword. Mr. Annoying Poseur enters and nearly has his head sheared off. Mr. Poseur increases Drama Queen’s ire against Honey Boy with a few well chosen words. Drama Queen comments that he could not recognize Poseur’s footsteps by sound. Mr. Poseur keeps calling Drama Queen Maharaj and comments that he’s changed his steps now, with that annoying wink of his. (Who are you posing for, dude? The guy you pose for is blind!) Drama Queen tells him to go to Gandhar. He says that he has left Gandhar behind with that annoying laugh of his and continues that he’ll follow Drama Queen. Cue Ominous Music. Drama Queen does some more ott drama, culminating in him commanding Ominous Music dude to not insult him by calling him Maharaj. 

Cue a hell lot of ott drama in which Annoying Poseur just adds ghee to the fires of conflict, by saying that Drama Queen can rule all of Aryavrat with his and Ms. Always Patnidharma’s kids. That’s it for today’s episode. 

Precap: “Where will we find a girl to give Hastina suitable heirs?” asks Satyavati to Bhishm. Enter a girl galloping on a horse, bow and arrow in hand. Satyavati lists the virtues she’s looking for in a girl. The girl on the horse saves a deer. Quite obviously, she’s Kunti. Hi!

Tagging @butchcaroldanvers, @ratnas-musings @mayavanavihariniharini @medhasree @hermioneaubreymiachase @avani008 @allegoriesinmediasres @iamnotthat

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews-Episode 13: Even more Dhritrashtra drama

The episode begins with Bhishm standing at the bank of Ganga. He joins his hands and Ganga makes a prakat. “Pranaam, mata,” “You’ve come back to your mother today, son,” Ah, Ganga, in scenes like these, you almost make me forget it is canonical that you drowned 7 of your sons. Anyway, Bhishm is Mr. Paragon of Perfection, remember? So he says, “No, mata. I am here to bathe in your sacred waters and cleanse myself of my sins.” “You are my son, Bhishm, you cannot sin.” Excuse me? What was that kidnapping thing then? The Niyog idea? Ah, well, paragon of perfection, indeed. “But I have sinned. For the future of Hastina, I have sacrificed a girl’s happiness. I did not even ask Gandhari if she was alright with a blind husband or not.” “Did she fight it?” “Not with words, but…” he brings up her oath. “Did you take your own oath out of rebellion?” “Such a question after so many years, mata?” “Search your heart, son. Sometimes we have to re-evaluate our previous actions.” “No, mother, I can say with utter honesty that I had thought only of my father’s happiness and Hastina’s future.” “If Gandhari had refused, would you attacked Gandhar?” “No, mata, how can your son ever disrespect a woman’s wishes like that?” Really, Bhishm? Then why the hell did you go with a bloody army to Gandhar? Ganga pronounces her son innocent. He asks God to keep Dhritrashtra and Gandhari happy. Scene changes. Camera focuses on Ambalika. “Such a sacrifice on Gandhari’s part definitely elevates patnidharm to a new level.” Okay, new pet hate, freaking patnidharm. “Kripacharya was absolutely right.” Ambika points out that they too had sacrificed a lot for their patnidharm. “The question is whether Gandhari is doing sacrifice or rebellion.” “No, as I see it…” “It doesn’t matter how you or I see it. What Dhritrashtra sees it as, that’s important.” Camera focuses on angry young man striding into his nuptial chambers. “Gandhari?” “I am here.” “I know you are here. I can find out by the sound of breaths how many people are here. Come near me, Gandhari.” Uh-oh. Why do I have the uncomfortable feeling that he is being sadistic and/or sarcastic? “Okay…” Every single one of Gandhari sentences here is accompanied by the salutation ‘arya’ for husband, but I am already irritated enough, so I am omitting further irritation. She stumbles on her way to him., knocks something over. Dhritrashtra closes his eyes. “If you walk that way, you won’t be able to come to me. You’ll collide into the arch.” “But, where are you?” “Look at your foolishness. You don’t know where I am, but you closed your eyes.” Sadistic as he is, jerkass still does have a point. Wow, that’s quoted almost directly out of TV Tropes! Go, Nila! “What were you trying to do? Insult me, or your own self?” Then comes that old argument of disrespecting disability. I am not repeating that hoary old chestnut here. He commands her to remove the cloth from her eyes, saying that he will not accept her, continuing that it is the duty of every citizen to listen to their King, He asks her if he commands her to remove the cloth from her eyes after he is King, would she not oblige? She says that she would, if she has such an order, but she would do it just before agnipariksha. What is the deal between this lady and agnipariksha? Dhritrashtra looks even more pissed. “You mean, you will not obey me under any circumstances,” he hisses, shaking her. His hands feel the flowers that adorn her. “What is all this? Where are your earrings? Your bangles? Why are you wearing a garland of flowers?” “I have adorned myself with flowers. I thought you…” “Enough! You have insulted me enough. Just to remind me of my blindness, you reach this limit? Do you think others won’t be able to see you? Do you want to remind everyone what happened to you?” “It’s not like that!” “It is like that! You are here to disrespect me! I came with a choodamani according to tradition for you, Gandhari, but you don’t deserve it! You are merely my bad luck! I, Dhritrashtra, son of Vichitraveerya, hereby foreswear you. Even if Hastinapur considers you its Queen, I will never consider you my wife! Never!” He pushes her to the floor. Ugh. I hate you, Dhritrashtra. Also, skip skip skip. This is Krishna Gyaan. This is about the pursuit of  happiness. (Isn’t that a movie?) “Samraat Dhritrashtra…even he is eager to hear these words.” “I am afraid of that eagerness. I fear he is too eager to cloak his disability with status.” You’re right, Bhishm. “Why wouldn’t anyone, Bhishm?” This is Satyavati. “I feel for Dhritrashtra. But a man overwhelmed by his own sadness cannot do anything for the people.” “We do not have a choice. Dhritrashtra is eldest of the Kuru Princes. If he doesn’t become King, what else can he do? He can’t be a Senapati or a Mahamantri. He will lose meaning in his life. Pandu will protect the country and his King as Senapati. Vidur knows Dharma. He’ll help the King.” I agree. In this whole sorry story, Vidur is the one person who has any idea of dharma. “Will Dhritrashtra let Vidur be Mahamantri? After becoming King, if he doesn’t name anyone to the post, neither I nor you can disobey him in that matter.” “Then, before the Rajabhishek, we will name Pandu the senapati and Vidur the Mahamantri. Even if you don’t agree with my decision of making Dhritrashtra the King, understand that it is the correct decision. Listen to me, Bhishm.” Satyavati leaves. Scene changes to Bhishm doing Surya Namaskar. As he finishes it, Vidur enters and does a pranipaat. “Come, Vidur. Here to ask for blessings before taking the post of Mahamantri?” “I am here to ask for permission.” “Permission? What for?” “Freedom. I ask for freedom from the duty of taking that oath. Hastina’s royal family has given a lot to me.” “Vidur, you are the son of the King, too.” “They are the sons of the Queens. If something dishonorable happens, I will be blamed for it.” “You are my student. Why would you do anything dishonorable?” “When I have to choose between Dharma and love after becoming the Mahamantri, what do I choose?” “Dharma is the Sun, and love the Moon. If you choose love, you will be at peace, but in darkness. If you choose Dharma, you will get light. You, the family, the people of this nation.” Vidur nods. “Go, Vidur. Take the oath and discharge your duties with Dharma.” “As you command.” “Live long.” The title track BGM plays a little. The scene changes to Pandu taking his mother’s blessings. “Son, may Hastina always be victorious by the strength of your sword. May your enemies tremble at the mere sound of your name. May you be immortal in history. May the throne of the senapati be as glorious as the King’s in Hastina.” Not much of the above actually occur in truth, but this guy is actually immortal in history, if only as the father of his sons, expressly the younger four, in my eyes. “No other throne has the right to be as glorious as the Kings.” “I know, and yet I pray for it, because for a mother, only the success of her children is happiness.” Scene changes again to Dhritrashtra. He starts intoning a very pompous oath. He is imagining the jayjaykars yet again. Also preening. He is disturbed by the sound of payals. He does his weird eye twitch (god, one thing this actor has is extreme control of his ocular muscles, apparently.) “Who dares?” It’s Gandhari, accompanied by Shakuni. Episode ends. Precap: Bhishm hands the sword to Dhritrashtra. “Stop, elder brother,” this is Vidur. “A man blind from birth is not eligible to become the King.” The camera pans on everyone’s faces.    

At this point, it’s rather obvious that Dhritrashtra ain’t gonna become King.

And...we’ve officially crossed 15k words! Man, if only writing Antraatman were this easy...

Also: Official count of canon fails: 22 (1 for each canon fail episode also) plus 5 completely canon fail episodes.

Tagging @butchcaroldanvers @medhasree @mayavanavihariniharini @hermioneaubreymiachase @avani008 @chaanv @ratnas-musings @ruminationsofaraven @bleedinknight.

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews: Episode 14- In which a (completely non-canon) coronation is stopped.

Tagging @butchcaroldanvers, @mayavanavihariniharini, @medhasree, @chaanv @shaonharryandpannisim @allegoriesinmediasres @hermioneaubreymiachase @iamnotthat @ratnas-musings @justahappyreindeer @avani008. I’m forgetting someone...

The episode begins exactly where the last one ends. “Who dares?” asks Mr. Permanently Angry Drama Queen. Gandhari stutters a hesitant “husband…” I am NOT going to use the word ‘arya’. For some reason, if freaks me out. Another voice joins in “Putr Dhritrashtra”. “Mata?” “Are you ready, son?” “I have been ready for years, mother.” Yeah, Mr. Conceited Ego, we all know how ready you were. BTW, I think I have not pointed this out, thinking it obvious, but in case it isn’t, it’s a CANON FAIL #23: I don’t remember Dhritrashtra being the original person to be crowned. From what I know of canon, it was always Pandu. I’m not sure if Dhritrashtra was crowned after Pandu’s exile, but I doubt it, seeing that it was always Yudhisthir who was apparently the heir to the throne. “You will be Hastina’s King today” says Ambika. She gushes a bit about her happiness. She ends with “We should be there by the time Pandu and Vidur have finished taking the oaths. Come, Gandhari.” Mr. Drama Queen has to keep adding unnecessary drama (I’m actually kinda feeling sorry for the actor by now) and he says “Tell her not to walk by my side.” Dude, she’s your wife, isn’t she? Ms. Always Patnidharm? (This ain’t canon Gandhari, either). “If my pace slows while walking towards the throne for any reason, I will not bear it!” Ah, apparently this show has had enough of psycho ladies. Time for psycho dudes! Psycho dude #1: Mr. Drama Queen. #2 is Shakuni, I’ll defo come up with some name for him too. I think Mr. Ominous Music is good. Dhritrashtra strides off. “Come, sister. Whether or not you walk equally, he can’t sit on the throne without you.” This, quite obviously, is Mr. Ominous Music. Scene switches to an elaborate ceremony. Mr. Honey Boy and Vidur are here. They go stand on two sides of the hall. They do the required salutations. Vidur is the first to start the oath. He and Pandu do it in tandem. Vidur represents the virtues of justice, Pandu those of valour. They are handed the ceremonial spectre and the ceremonial armor respectively. They make oaths to the respective item. With that, the jayjaykars begin and the ceremony comes to an end. Mr. Drama Queen strides in with his usual angry strides, followed by Ms. Always Patnidharm, Mr. Ominous Music et al. He gives perfunctory pranipaats. Bhishm pointedly doesn’t bless him, his usual customary ‘Ayushmaan Bhav’ is missing. Satyavati gives him a blessing and then outlines her hopes. “The throne of Hastina will receive its lord today,” she says. (You’re right, lady, but the lord in question is not the one you think it is…here anyway). “This is one of the happiest moments of my life. Today, you will lift the weight of your father’s nations on your shoulders, that has been borne by myself and Bhishm for so long. Now is the time for your coronation.” Mr. Angry Drama Queen manages to look both angry and dramatic as he ascends the steps to the throne. He joins his hands as Bhishm passes the ceremonial sword to him. “Stop, elder brother,” This is Vidur. Ah, the moment of reckoning is here. “Mahamantri Vidur, how can you do something so inauspicious?” This is Satyavati. “The reason is that I just swore the oath of the Mahamantri.” He repeats that oath. “Hence,” he says “It is mandatory for me to stop this Adharm.” “What Adharm, Mahamantri?” “This coronation, Rajmata.” Cue shocking music. “A man who is blind from birth is not eligible to become a King.” This is further extension of Canon Fail #23, kindly note. Also, for all of Vidur’s ableist words, apparently, this made sense in the culture of that time…but I am not sure. Obviously, Mr. Angry Drama Queen is not going to take it well. But then, if it made sense in the culture of the time, enough that Dhritrashtra, to the best of my knowledge (correct me if I am wrong, folks) was never a candidate for the King at least until Pandu exiles himself, even after that I think he was more of a place holder type King, not the King regnant. People with better canon knowledge than I, please comment. The scene drags on a bit, with repetition of the above dialogue. “You are saying this now? You knew about the coronation beforehand.” Good question, also one that was in my mind, too. “With situation, dharma changes, Rajmata.” “Dharma and change?” This is Mr. Ominous Music, henceforth also dubbed Mr. Annoying Poseur. “This is the first time I have heard of it. I have heard of selfishness changing, but Dharm? Yes, but Hastinapur is a large Kingdom. Maybe the rules are different here.” “Yuvaraj Shakuni!” Here comes the Paragon of Perfection. “You do not have the right to speak in our dynastic issues.” “Forgive me, Mahamahim Bhishm, but a brother has a right to speak in his sister’s stead. Dharma says so, in the entirety of Aryavrata. Whether this is Dharma in Hastina or it has changed, only Mahagyaani Vidur can say so.” “I can answer your question also. Seeing no fault in his elder brother is a younger brother’s Dharma.” Title BGM starts playing. Ah, so this is important. “But when it comes to a King’s virtues and vices, then it is the Mahamantri’s dharma not to see the man as his brother.” “Only the eldest son of a family has the right over the throne, Mahamantri Vidur,” says Satyavati. She’s seriously sounding like a broken record by now. “If every son of the family is equally eligible, only then does the eldest have that right.” He then goes off into obscure philosophy that we don’t need, about Ashad and Shravan, so I am not noting that here. “When thinking between age and virtue, virtue is more important, Rajmata.” Title BGM plays again. Audience, please take note. There is some discourse about the Shaastrs but the long and short of it is that only an able bodied man can be King, according to them. “Not in a deficient man.” Finishes Vidur. Mr. Drama Queen has had enough. “Deficient!” he exclaims. All eyes turn to him. “Me, deficient!” “Forgive me, elder brother.” “Silence! Silence. I have been insulted enough, Vidur. When your ever-changeable dharma has left this Court, send for me.” He descends the stairs and strides back as everyone watches, absolutely shocked. Honey Boy comes to his senses first. “Elder brother!” He calls. “Stop!” But he strides away. Ms. Always Patnidharm (I refuse to give this caricature Gandhari’s name. The Gandhari I know has a lot of self-esteem) asks Sukhdha to take her to her husband. “Just because he is blind, we cannot accept that, Mahamantri Vidur.” “Eyesight is the first and foremost weapon of a King, Rajmata. Unless a King can read a man’s intents on his face, he cannot find hidden enemies in his court. When a King goes on progress, he sees the people with his eyes. How can a blind man do that?” “For all that only we have a Mahamantri, all the ministers, the Senapati.” “Forgive me, but we all have the duty to follow the King.” Dhritrashtra knocks braziers down. “Brother, listen to me,” says Honey Boy. “What else is left to listen, Pandu?” Dhritrashtra goes off on a rant about what a special snowflake he is. “Only Vidur has said so, brother. Since he is the Mahamantri, maybe he considers that his duty. But, we can also keep our side to…” Mr. Drama Queen knocks his brother off. “Ask for favours? Beg for favours? I am the eldest son of this dynasty! All those people who should by rights ask me for favours, you want me to beg in front of them?” “Please calm down!” “I am calm, Pandu! If I were not, I’d have killed you for your betrayal!” Huh? The one mistake Honey Boy is doing is that he’s too considerate of Drama Queen. Since when did he betray Drama Queen? “Betrayal? Brother, I have never…” “I know everything! You and that Dasi-Putr have planned this out. Talking about love and dharma, you want to steal my rights from me! You want to be King!” “This is a false accusation, brother! I have never even thought of such a thing in the wildest of my dreams!” “Go away, Pandu! Or you will burn in the flame of my anger.” Drama Queen pushes Honey Boy away, knocks another brazier down, growls, and strides off again. We come back to Vidur. The previous dialogue that he said is repeated again. “It is a King’s duty to be whole and full of virtue,” Vidur finishes. “And that’s you, Vidhvaan Vidur,” says Mr. Ominous Music. “Of course, you think of yourself alone as worthy.” “Gandhaar Yuvaraj!” This is Mr. Paragon of Perfection. Satyavati stops him with a raised hand. “Give him an answer, Mahamantri Vidur.” He bows. “A thorn’s duty to guard the tree, Rajmata,” he says to the strains of a sad theme BGM. “He neither aspires nor has the ability to replace a flower. I too am a thorn like that in the tree of this dynasty.” Why this much flowery language, bro? “When the subject of the country’s greater good comes to the fore, I will definitely bend. I know that God is always offered flowers, the thorns are thrown away first. But I have no sadness for that. I will always do my duty.” “Rajmata,” says Mr. Paragon of Perfection, “Vidur’s devotion to the throne of Hastina is complete, I have no doubt of that.” Just like that, everything is forgiven by Satyavati. “You are saying the right thing, Son of Ganga. But the throne cannot be empty anymore.” “That is why I advice that elder brother Pandu should have the throne.” Cue title BGM. The camera pans on everyone’s faces, finally focusing on Pandu who is standing at the threshold of the hall. Episode ends. I like this episode! You know why? No Krishna Gyaan! Yay!! Also, Vidur, how I wish you taught your younger nephews that dharma changes according to situation. If only you taught them that, they would not have obeyed their git of an elder brother when he sold them and their wife in a dice game…ah how I wish that! Precap: “There has been injustice with Gandhari, father, injustice and that truth is hurting my heart like a knife.” Yells Mr. Annoying Poseur as he drives a knife into his leg. Okay, that, too, as far as I know, is non canon, so here we have canon fail #24. “Shakuni!” Yells the queen.  

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews: Episode 8- The wedding proposal disguised as war (faux-war)

Tagging @chaanv, @shaonharryandpannisim, @medhasree, @avani008, @butchcaroldanvers, @mayavanavihariniharini, @iamnotthat, @enigma-the-mysterious

This episode begins on a dramatic war footing. Since I saw the precap attached with the last episode, I know that a war is not happening, because everyone’s scared shitless of Bhishm, the paragon of perfection. The army of Gandhar rolls out in good order, accompanied by the shouting of orders from the senapati. For some reason, the Rajguru is also walking with the King and the senapati. Aren’t Brahmanas supposed to stay away from war? Except Dron, but he’s a special case. In the background, some dudes are doing push-ups. What for? Idk. “Close the doors! What is the news?” “It’s a huge army, flowing like the Indus. They have food too, they’re prepared for attack.” In what world is an opposing army described like this, really? “Whose army is it?” “I could not see the chariot of a King, Maharaj, but I could see the chariot on the lead.” Okay, obviously, it’s Bhishm. Let’s see how he’s flattered here. “White horsed-chariot, like it’s the chariot of Surya Narayan himself…” Does the Sun God have white horses on his chariot? I’ve never heard of that. Arjun does, though, that I do recall. The camera focuses on white galloping horses. “The chariot has a white flag, too, Maharaj.” The camera focuses on the aforementioned flag. It looks suspiciously like what will be the flag of Indraprastha in the future, I need to check that out again. The man riding on the chariot is as effulgent as the Sun. He’s wearing decorated armor, his arm muscles like trees, his eyes are like twin fireballs, he also has the symbol of the Moon God on his forehead.” While this description is going on, the camera focuses on each mentioned part of Bhishm. You know, I’m not sure if the man describing Bhishm is actually from Gandhar. How can I know he isn’t a spy? I mean, no one describes enemies like this. Seriously, the man sounds like he’s drooling over Bhishm. “This warrior is none but the best of the Kauravas, the son of Maharaj Shantanu and Mahamata Ganga” this from the Rajguru. “Bhishm.” The King. Bhishm theme plays, camera focusing on him and his army. Almost three minutes of the entire episode, more than 10% of it, has been spent on his entry alone. Camera focuses on Gandhari striding through a hall. “Mata, what is happening?” “Have you not heard? Hastinapur has attacked Gandhar.” “What will happen now?” Another lady says “Gandhar’s army can’t stand against Hastinapur. Gandhar’s forts will be breached in days. Rivers of blood will flow. We will be ash.” (Side note: Rivers of blood will flow/Rakht ki daarayen bahengi seems to be a favorite line. Arjun says it too, after Cheerharan, when he does a title drop.) “Admitting defeat before actual defeat is not worthy.” The Queen says. “Forgive me, Rajmata. However, Gandhar has not seen a war in many years…” She goes off on a tirade about what happens to defeated cities in war. It’s too much, as there isn’t gonna be a war anyway, so I’m desisting from writing the whole thing. Oh, that lady is Arshi, Shakuni’s wife in this show, as Gandhari calls her Bhabhishree. “What do we do now?” Gandhari asks. “What women do in war. Wait for darkness, and then…” Gandhari strides to the front and takes a sword from its sheath. “Bhabhi, lift a weapon. I am joining the war. It terrifies me as much as darkness, I was told by Gurudev that to get rid of fears, we must face them.” Why do you sleep in a room full of lights then, lady? “When death is certain, I shall die in the battle field.” Shit. Krishna Gyaan. This is about fear of loss. Skip, skip, skip. “The time to fly a flag is here, Maharaj. Which should it be? Red for war or white for surrender?” “Dishonor or death. Both of them seem blacker than ever to me.” “We have to furl one, Maharaj.” “The army has stopped, Maharaj!” “Amazing. They have furled the yellow flag of friendship.” It is rather amazing that Bhishm came with an army instead of a deputation, the minister is absolutely right. “Open the gates!” The King and his entourage go down to meet Bhishm. “If he wanted to talk, why the army?” Good question, senapati ji. “He must have come to exhibit his talent to us,” But, mantri ji, isn’t that done alone? What does he need an army for? “But why?” asks the King. Good question, again. “We have not offended Hastinapur. After drunk kid’s death (he doesn’t call him drunk kid, obviously), for 25 years, the throne has been empty. Yet, we have not attacked them or made treaties with their enemies. Why the need for this in front of friends?” “The show of strength is done in front of friends only when you need something from them.” This episode is dragging so much. ALL Of IT TILL NOW IS NON-CANON. And there are still 13 freaking minutes left! Aaargh! “What does a warrior like Bhishm need from us?” What else, Mr. Doofus King? Your daughter who has the boon of 100 children. Bhishm theme plays as he dismounts. Saubala joins his hands, his soldiers kneel. Mr. Paragon of Perfection lays a hand on Saubala’s shoulder. “A King should join his hands only to God. He should greet a friend and punish a foe, only in that is his pride,” he says gently. “Your radiance is not less than any God’s, son of Ganga.” NO! Someone please rescue me from this whitewashing, should I call it glitterwashing? Of course, he’s modest as ever. “I am no King, merely the servant of Hastinapur. My place is not above you.” “Your talents are more than any King’s, son of Ganga.” “The question of talent comes when there is war. I am here to meet my friend, for deepening our friendship” What the hell did you bring your army for then? Happy music plays. “To welcome a friend like you is Gandhar’s good luck.” Saubala and Bhishm hug, as the soldiers cheer him. Gandhari runs into a chamber. “Bhabhi, Bhishm is here for the hand of friendship.” “I heard.” “What do you think? Is he pretending friendship and planning war?” “I’ve heard that Bhishm never lies.” “I’ve heard that there is none stronger than him in the entire of Aryavrat.” Aaah! If I hear more, my ears will bleed. “Yes, Sukhda. Even Parashuram couldn’t defeat him.” “A strong man always seems calm, Bhabhi. Let’s see if he’s actually strong or we have heard tall stories.” “I want to ask what he needs from Gandhar,” says Arshi. Scene changes. The men are reclining in thrones, along with the Queen. “Disperse.” The Queen commands her servants. “Such a beautiful welcome and love fills my heart.” Gandhari is at the entry of the room, peeking in. “I am sure you have educated your daughter and daughter in law with such courtesy also.” Bhishm, finally getting to the point, right? Phew. “What can a little country like Gandhar give to a nation as large and powerful as Kururashtra?” “A future. And happiness in the future. You might know that no King has ever attacked you because you have the protection of Kururashtra. If Kururashtra and Gandhar become one, it will be good for both of us.” “Such a thing occurs between two equal Kingdoms. Gandhar serves Hastinapur, son of Ganga.” What kind of a king are you, Saubala? I’m sure canon Saubala is not this much of a doormat. CANON FAIL. “That is why I asked for a relationship, not friendship,” says Bhishm. “A marriage proposal.” FINALLY, after 14 minutes of posturing, we get to the DAMN POINT! Gandhari, still standing at the entry, looks at Sukhdha. The other adults also look at each other. “Your daughter Gandhari is famous for her beauty and virtues in the entire of Aryavrat. We have a marriage proposal for her. Please do not deny us.” “But you have taken an oath of celibacy, have you not, son of Ganga?” asks the Queen. Thankfully, he has. Bhishm looks down, then starts to laugh. “The princess will wed a Prince of Kururashtra, not me.” Happiness blooms everywhere. “Gandhari is like a daughter to me.” “I think this is a right thing to do.” Says the Queen. “Where can we find a better husband than Prince Pandu?” “Dhritrashtra.” Everyone except Bhishm looks stricken. I can kinda understand them. “Where did Pandu get into this? He’s the younger son. Dhritrashtra is the elder. Maharaj, I am thinking of Dhritrashtra. Think about it. Even a sculptor’s wife can have 100 children (wait, how? People don’t live for a 100 years, how the hell can anyone have 100 children right off the bat?) but they will be building sculptures, not a Kingdom. It is not the number of children that matters, what matters is their virtue. Not everyone has the luck of giving birth to 100 sons of Kuruvansh.” Ugh. Even typing out this sentence is making me feel dirty. “But Mahamahim, my daughter is beautiful, knowledgeable and a warrior. Dhritrashtra, you know what he is.” Ah, ableism is the issue. I don’t blame her, tho. It’s kinda a human flaw. Bhishm stands. “Dhritrashtra is also skilled in all things. You do not know his abilities, Maharani Sudharma.” He goes on to give an excessive intro of Dhritrashtra, adding that Gandhari will be very lucky to have him. The scene changes. Gandhari and her maid are laughing together. “Where are you going? It is not time yet to go far away.” “Let her go. My sister-in-law is entitled to her pride. There’s a proposal for her from such a kingdom, after all.” “There’s nothing like that, Bhabhi!” “It’s alright even if it is like that, Gandhari. No Kingdom is as rich as Hastina in the world!” “I have heard the same, Princess. I keep trying to imagine, how Hastinapur shall be…” “Hastinapur…” trails Gandhari. “If you form ties with us, you shall be Emperor Suabala instead of a King.” “You mean, you are here to take advantage of us by showing your strength.” “I am here to make the royal family of Gandhar as my family. There is no question of taking advantage in a family.” Ah, veiled threats. Scene changes. “So what if it’s a big Kingdom?” asks Gandhari. “Our Gandhar is not weak. Regardless, a marriage is not with a Kingdom, it’s with a Prince.” Gandhari bites her finger. She’s clearly said too much. “Already fantasizing about hubby dear?” Ugh. Too sweet for me. “Bhabhi!” Gandhari blushes. Scene changes again. “As I see it, their match is made in heaven,” says Bhishm. “We do not wish to force you.” Ah, hypocrisy too. “Clear your doubts before you make a decision.” Saubala walks to his throne. “So, what do you decide?” Scene changes to Gandhari once more. “The Prince of Hastinapur is like Indra among men.” Indra again. “Kururashtra’s men and women worship their Princes like Gods.” That they do in canon too. Scene changes again, camera focusing on the back of a man. “Bhabi, what’s his name?” asks Gandhari. “What are you going to do knowing his name? Women don’t call their husbands by their name.” “Tell me his name, Bhabhi.” “Dhritrashtra.” “Prince Dhritrashtra”. The camera focuses on Dhritrashtra flexing his muscles. Precap: Dhritrashtra faces an elephant. “How will I tell my daughter that I traded her happiness for the people? When Shakuni comes to know, what will he do?” I am confused. Gandhari seemed happy enough. ANYWAY. THIS ENTIRE EPISODE IS NON-CANON. The only thing mentioned in canon is that Bhishm approached Gandhar for Gandhari’s hand with a deputation (not an army), he got the same. Shakuni was actually happy about it.

I’ve already reached 10k words of roasting StarBharat. Seems this is a longer exercise than Antraatman, which is a literal novel. Imagine the sheer number of canon fails in this thing.  

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews: Episode 6: Bhishm’s self-choice ceremony

Tagging @avani008, @butchcaroldanvers, @chaanv, @medhasree, @ratnas-musings, @iamnotthat. Anyone else who wants to be tagged, please comment.

Thanks to @avani008 for the reblog with the amaze tags! Thank you, Avani didi!

The episode begins with an elaborate naming ceremony, complete with a ringing hymn. This generation of babies has naming ceremonies, the next one, on the Pandavas’ side, anyway, doesn’t. I don’t really remember the Kauravas, but man, imagine 100 freaking naming ceremonies in the span of a few days. Ouch. I feel pity for the pandits in that case. The part of the precap dealing with Dhritrashtra’s naming plays. Next, it is Pandu who’s named. CANON FAIL. Pandu is not named for the glow on his skin, he’s named for his paleness. When Ved Vyas um, copulates with Ambalika, she turns pale with fear, which is why Pandu is born pale, canonically. Satyavati instructs the Mahamantri to give Dakshina to the Guru. “Rajmata!” Ah, it’s Mr. Paragon of Perfection. Whatever this guy is going to do, please don’t think it’s canon, alright? He has a baby in his hands, clearly, it’s baby Vidur. “The ritual is not complete. The naming of this child is still left.” There’s a woman standing behind Bhishm, I think it’s Vidur’s mama. She’s silent. Satyavati is livid. “But he’s a servant’s…he’s Parashrami’s child.” Apparently, she is too regal to say ‘dasi-putr’ in open court. “He’s not just her child, he is the gift Ved Vyas gave us. He will grow together with the Princes as their younger brother. All three ladies look pissed, like they’d rather be somewhere else, but Bhishm doesn’t give them a choice. Satyavati reluctantly holds Vidur, as the Guru gives the baby his name. (BTW, isn’t honey harmful for babies younger than 6 months?) The ladies still look pissed, but Bhishm is smiling. Camera focuses on Psycho Princess walking through water. Then it switches back to Hastina, where Satyavati is giving daan after the naming ceremony, when she notices Psycho Princess. She has a “Oh, shit, not her again…” expression on her face. Ikr, Satyavati, really. This psycho Princess has a thing of turning up smack dab in the middle of happy events and ruining them, no? First a coronation, then a naming ceremony. Idk how she gets past Hastina’s sentries into the palace. Something is wrong with your sentries, Bhishm, go train them better! Everyone moves away from her (so would I, frankly. She looks crazy, plus like she hasn’t bathed in days, at the very least.) She reaches Satyavati and says that she’s here to give daan to Bhishm. What will he choose? Marriage or death? Wow. I’d choose death, and so shall Bhishm, especially if I’m supposed to marry a psycho who literally wants me to go to hell. Right now, he stands silently, as Satyavati ostentatiously asks psycho “What do you want? We’re still ready to welcome you into the family. Why do you choose this destructive path, instead of the happiness you can have as a member of Kuruvansh?” Okay, this does not happen in canon. By the way, how can she become a member of the family, by marrying a baby who’s her nephew? What the…this makes no sense to me. “What happiness did you give my sisters? The terrible experience of Niyog? An incomplete child?” Good question, also non-canon. Canon Amba never mentions her sisters, so this is kinda a good change. “I am looking forward to the true pleasure of Bhishm’s pride breaking in front of me. My heart is beating in the anticipation of that golden moment.” Alright. Peacock feather makes an entry and I poise my finger over the skip button. It’s yet another sermon on desire and revenge. Skip. Skip. Camera focuses on Bhishm galloping on a horse. He reaches Parashuram, who’s taking a weird spin effect now. Psycho Princess is behind Parashuram. How the heck did she reach there before Bhishm? Bhishm dismounts and moves towards Parashuram. “Stop!” “I wish to touch your feet, Gurudev…” Ah, I’m so getting Arjun vibes here. Okay, I need to stop Arjun fangirling, stat. He doesn’t exist yet. “I need to find out for myself if you are worthy of my blessings. Because the man who blesses a sinner sins himself.” Why am I reminded of Bhishm refusing to bless Arjun in the future after he marries Subhadra? Okay. No, this is not Arjun I need to talk about. Bhishm rather dramatically says that the meaning of his existence is to fall at Parashuram’s feet. Alright, why is this man so very much a drama queen all the time? Even Arjun would not say that, for all that he adored Drona a lot. “As for sinning,” continues Bhishm, “The very fact that you doubt me is enough of a sin for me. If I were not bound with Hastina’s responsibilities, I would have sought death this instant.” Goodness. Faced with this much fawning drama, Parashuram does a volte-face. “When did I say I doubted you, son? However, to settle this maiden’s doubts, I wish to take your test. War with me, Bhishm. If you are following Dharma properly, you will not be defeated by my hand.” “Then, would my Guru be defeated by my hand?” He sounds like he’s gonna cry. No, Nila. Don’t think about Arjun. No. Parashuram scoffs. “A Guru gets victory if he is defeated at a student’s hand. War against me! Just like a small blot dirties a white cloth, similarly, the smallest of complaints can dirty a man’s principles in front of the society. Lift your weapons and destroy the accusations.” Parashuram causes thundering with a hand movement, creating a bow. A fight commences, fireballs moving towards Bhishm as psycho Princess grins psychotically. Bhishm’s arrow explodes the fireballs, turning them into flowers. “Pranaam, Gurudev,” says he. Seriously? Parashuram pushes Bhishm twice, leading to him toppling off a cliff. Parashuram leaps after him, punching him. They land inside water. Don’t ask me how they can breathe in water, let alone run around and do fancy moves, and that too in armor in Bhishm’s case. Parashuram clocks an uppercut, landing Bhishm in a forest. “You are cheating, Bhishm!” “I cannot attack my Guru.” Be still, my heart. The melodrama is too much, I know. “You are disrespecting your Guru. Do you not believe in your Guru’s strength that you will attack and he will be defeated? This Parashuram is not that old yet!” Bhishm unknots his hands as Parashuram throws a tree trunk at him, which Bhishm punches into two. Bhishm tune plays. I repeat, canon is NOT this over dramatic Precap: Ganga is asking Shiv for help because the two warriors, Parashuram and Bhishm have lifted their weapons. Shiva makes a cameo. Camera focuses on a sleeping girl, her room filled with diyas. The diyas flicker out due to wind, making her start awake. “Sukhdha!” she calls.

[dechnsign]

Resignation x Mahabharat

When I am writing this post, I suddenly remember Mr. Purushottam Agrawal. He is the one who doesn't need any introduction. Someone whose merit speaks much loud and the words from his mouth leave a significant impact on the minds of listeners. At a time when India is fighting about history by digging into the atrocities from the past, we should hear his views. Long back in an event, he said that we should read history not for the sense to move our agenda forward rather we should have the curiosity to learn new things.

This reference is completely hypothetical and any resemblance is coincidental. This video is just made to showcase humour.

Credits: TV Series Name: Mahabharat (1988) Channel Name: Pen Bhakti (YouTube)