A long (LONG) while back @kayhi808 tagged me in a thing that was about writing a fic based off a song. I did one for the song Rubberband by Tate McRae. You can find it here. I also wanted to do one for Leave Before You Love Me by Marshmello x Jonas Brothers, so here it is!
Tags: First person POV, F!reader x Billy Russo (pre-season 1 of The Punisher)
Warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, swearing.
A little OOC Billy, but who cares. Not me!
~~~
I see him calling, and it makes me sigh. I didn’t want to leave him like that. But I had to get out of there.
It’s five in the morning. It says 100 on the dash. The wheels are rolling as fast as the wheels in my head, but I’m not gonna take my foot off the gas. As if the faster I drive the quicker it will take for the call to go to voicemail, or for him to hang up.
It only took that one night – last night – to see the end of the line, as I stared deep into his eyes. I felt like we’d been dancing on the edge for a while, and then I think we took it too far.
So now, he has woken up in his bed, alone in the dark. But I had to leave... Leave before he said something stupid, like I love you.
I did happen to see the text he had sent a few minutes ago. He said that I messed with his heart. And that has been messing with my head. As if anyone could mess with Billy Russo's heart.
I was so good at knowing when to leave the party behind, not caring if anyone noticed. It was a work gala, not my favourite kind of event to attend but Billy kind of had to be there, and I always liked the chance to see him dressed up extra fancy. He was so handsome all the time, but seeing him in a tuxedo did things to me. Billy accepted his award and came back to our table. I gave him a hug, as he'd earned that award with all his hard work. As soon as I pulled away, he saw me looking for the door, trying to think of excuse as to why I was going to leave.
"I haven't even sat back down, and you're already plotting your escape?"
I smiled sheepishly. "No one will even notice." No one would care, you thought more.
"I will. Don't leave me here alone." Billy said.
"You'll be fine, Mr. Russo." I used his last name teasingly. "All these people are here for you."
"You're the only person here that matters to me, though. I don't want to be here without you."
I didn't know what to say.
"Well, I don't want you to be lonely.” Billy said. “Let me give you a ride."
And that’s how I wound up wrapped around his body too tight.
We’ve had this unspoken thing between us for a while. I am merely his admin assistant, trying to pay off my student loans while having trouble looking for a job in my field. But I feel like I’m more than his assistant. We might even be… friends? If friends get drinks after work with other coworkers and then stayed for hours after everyone else left, stole glances when we thought the other wasn’t looking, or let a hand linger on the other’s arm for too long. I’ve definitely heard him inhale the scent of my hair when we’ve hugged. He’s definitely seen me watching his backside as he leaves his office.
So, when he brought me to his penthouse instead of driving me home, and when he gave me some of my favourite wine, I let myself get close enough for him to kiss me. And boy, did he kiss me.
“Fucking finally, Billy.” I said against his lips.
He gave me a heated kiss before he said, “Wasn’t sure if you wanted to be mine.”
It’s not like I was giving my heart up for breaking, but after the way he kissed me, the way he touched me… the way he fucked me… I was too far gone to be staying.
“It was always going to be you.” He said as he pushed into me.
I groaned at the pinch. “Billy-"
“How can we fit together so good? How can I ignore the way I feel about you when I see you every damn day?” He said intensely.
He was starting to thrust with a steady rhythm, and I didn’t quite know what to say.
“I have always wanted you, baby. Let me have you, I’m already yours.”
“Billy-oh! What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want you to be mine.”
“I-"
He didn’t give me much of a chance to answer before he started rubbing my clit. “Let me love you. Come for me.” He sucked a mark into my neck. “I’ve always lo-“
“Oh fuck!” I cried as I came, seeing stars from the way his cock kept its steady rhythm against my walls.
After, when we lay in bed, breathing heavy, my eyes drooping from being satiated, I mumbled, “Fuck. I can’t believe we did that. Should we have done that? We probably shouldn’t have done that.”
Billy stiffened beside me, but I was already falling asleep.
I messed with his heart? Was that a joke? He was going to tell me he loved me - apparently, he has always loved me. Is that really what he was going to say? It was messing with my head.
I kept driving. It was one of his cars, as he’d given me a ride to his place last night. Not the Wraith, of course. Just a town car one of his drivers would use. I saw the keys by the door and just grabbed them on instinct, wanting to escape and not wanting to see another human being as I dealt with the mess in my head.
His name lights up on my phone screen again. I know he’s not calling about the car.
I am sorry that he woke up alone in the dark, but I had to leave. Leave before I also said something stupid, like I love you, too.
~~~
:)
Should I expand on this? I know it's short, but considering I haven't written in like 2 years, I'm happy with it. I'd probably want to write more. Show me some love and I would be even more inclined 😜
Tagging some friends: @kayhi808 @e-dubbc11 @more-cardigan-than-woman @zeldafairy
guys i’m actually devastated i just saw an edit of frank castle and billy russo to that one part of that i told you things that’s like “you built this cage. lost color in my face. your fair and im insane” that part.
dude i wanna cry like don’t get me wrong i know it’s fictional but at the same time it’s like how could russo do that? like u just don’t understand and it makes me so irrationally sad and angry every time i think about it
