Swing 5
Martian Manhunter x fem!reader
A/n: i had a really bad day but hey at least i managed to finish this! Sorry for it being angsty, i just cant stop myself from making a tense situation.
Smut....
Part 4 Part 6
Tag-list: @readerreadings02
"No problem, not at all. I find it that she's progressing quite well.".
"Can we expect her to consider joining?".
"Hm...".
"Do we really need another telepath? The chick doesn't have any other skills anyways. We'd have to save her ass constantly.".
"She doesn't need to be on field. Cant she use her powers on a distance?".
"I dont think its a good idea." J'onn says, his arms folding under his chest "She wouldn't be interested nor would I want her to be. Even with the training she's still quite unstable. I wouldn't want her state to risk the mission." or herself.
"Thats fine by me! Dont want her digging around my brain either.".
"She wouldn't do that. Its immoral.".
A part of him is frustrated that some have such little faith in her while the other is nervous about the mere idea of others trying to recruit her. He doesn't want the little life they have now to be crushed.
He still finds it hard to accept their so called relationship. The temptation of letting himself go all the way pulling him to a state of extreme guilt.
M'yri'ah would want him to be happy.
During his time on earth he's learned a lot, most importantly to trust himself again. Even after numerous failures at repenting and reaching some sort prosperity, he finds himself with the same thought circling his mind.
If he does this, does he lose himself?
The mind is capable of changing, adapting and holding great lengths of information. Memories to be more specific. Some which he replays constantly. Keeping them alive in only way he can.
Would relaxing with her mean he's betraying them?
That isn't right.
"You're awfully quiet John. Don't have anything to add?" Diane asks, going through the files of their newest case.
"Hm no.".
She sighs, giving him a look "Im a detective too but even if I wasn't it wouldn't be hard to guess you're distracted. Whats going on?".
He sighs, holding a pen beetwen his fingers as he looks over the file again "Its not important." nothing she could quite comprehend.
"Is it about that girl you've been seeing?" her brows raise when she realizes she hit the nail on the head just by his expression "Whats the matter? Is she hard to understand or?".
The news of John Jones dating someone spread trough the precinct like wildfire. Afterall he's a pretty stoic man, the idea of a woman putting up with that is fascinating. Ofcourse most don't actually understand him and only have a surface level understanding of his character.
Kinda comes with the territory of him being a alien and not the real John Jones anymore.
"I understand her plenty.".
"They all say that." she hums "so, she is the subject huh?".
Its not as if J'onn doesn't trust Diane but spilling his entire love story doesn't seem proper.
"I'll figure it out either way.".
He sighs, rubbing his eyes. Then again, it might be wise to gain someone elses perspective on it. Even if she couldn't understand the weight of the decision.
"We still haven't gone all the way exactly."
Her brows raise, suddenly laughing "You- holy shit." she shakes her head "Youve been pining over her for months! Are you serious? You two haven't..."
"No.".
Its not only about sex but considering its such a intimate topic for him he might aswell try to discuss it.
"Wow. I am impressed. Is that whats bothering you?".
"Im the one holding back.".
"Oh. Interesting. Why?".
He leans back, shifting in place.
"My last relationship didnt end well to say the least. It was... Long and when she left it hurt.".
Diane tilts her head, surprise on her face.
"She meant a lot and in a way, she made me the person I am. Laying with Y/N...".
"Itd mean letting go.".
J'onn stares at her, his lips pursing into a line.
"It's more complicated than that. Its not only because of the intimacy or fear of losing. My... Ex was the first person I was actually involved with. We were together for ten, fifteen years.".
"That is a long time. Whyd you seperate?"
"She died.".
He grits his jaw, looking away. He shouldn't be doing this. Its reinventing John Jones, turning him more into him. Damn it, he isnt even honoring his memory anymore.
Has he lost it completely?
"Im sorry." Diane says, glancing away awkwardly.
"Thank you.".
Now it's just uncomfortable for both of them. Still, the woman is persistent as always.
"You know, trying things out with her doesn't mean you're diminishing your late... Girlfriend. Its okay to move on, no one expects you to hold on to one person forever.".
"Its more complicated than that.".
She scoffs "From what I understand, its not. Deciding to be with someone else after so many years is only natural. You cant dwell forever.".
"Its not only that. Its-" he sighs, gritting his jaw "What if I start to forget her?".
"You won't.".
"How can you be so sure?".
"You're not replacing her. I mean, isnt that what people say? A part of her will always be with you right? Life is short, you shouldn't deny yourself happiness because of fear. Afterall-" she pauses "you cant stop yourself from changing.".
That much is true.
Your being changes as time passes, taking on many forms, trying to fight it's way through life. He can't stay still, its simply unnatural for him.
He is a telepath. A piece of M'yri'ah will always be with him, that part she left inside of him that he gets to cherish.
J'onn is a shapeshifter. He should be able to embrace change.
He just had to hear it from someone else.
"Thank you."
"Anytime."
She huffs before taking her cigarette, having a drag.
"Lets get back to the case.".
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She holds his hand tightly as he leads her trough the living room, a big smile on her face. Considering how full his schedule has gotten over the last few weeks he hasn't exactly had the free time to take her dancing.
So instead they settled on a alternative. She, him and her flat with the music of their choice.
J'onn can feel how needy shes become.
Her fingers intervene with his tightly, much more interested in keeping their bodies close together. It isnt that he doesn't feel pleasure when she kisses him or that her act of reaching down trying to feel something disturbs him. He isnt sure exactly how to go about this.
Martians dont have sex, atleast not in the way humans do. Their bodies mold against eachother, forming into one before they just spit out a form made solely from their love.
In comparison, humans are very freaky.
Doesn't mean he can't enjoy it.
"Mhm" she moans as he kisses her, his hands running over her body. He cant get over how nice it is to just feel her. His fingers morph into cords, running over her body, trying to get as big of feel as he can. The green sticks to her, molding further against her.
Its obvious she wants it, he can feel how her mind begs for more, the frustration getting the better of her. It's different and overwhelming to feel him quite literally all around her.
"(t/)J'onn, how do we do this?(/t) " she asks, a quiet whimper leaving her as she feels his lips over her neck.
"(t/) However you want.(/t)" he doesn't really have a preference. Her need to be filled transcends into him wanting to fill her. Her wants become his doing, his itch.
A sound leaves the woman when he takes a more abstract shape across her body, bits of it slipping under her clothes. She shifts, stumbling back under the sudden pleasure. He's quick to catch her, a surprised expression on his face.
"(t/) Are you alright? Did I overdo it?(/t)"
She laughs, shaking her head "No, it felt good but it's not something you should do while I'm standing.".
"(t/)Oh.(/t)".
He nods before leaning down. Suddenly shes pulled up into his arm, the Martian carrying her to the bedroom, bridal style. She giggles, the sudden surge of comfort making her melt in his big arms.
He drops her onto the mattres, making her lay down. The woman doesn't really hesitate to spread her legs for him while trying to rid of her clothes at the same time.
She moans as he morphs back into the more abstract mass, having no trouble in getting past her clothes. Its a awfully weird feeling, having his lips, his mind, his body attach to her in so many different ways. She squeals and squirms, her legs pressing together. Her fingers attempt to lach onto him, gripping through the parts of his gooey mass, desperately trying to find something to hold onto.
"J'onn..." she whispers, trying to find that familiar face of his. Her eyes water as he probs further, gasping at the sudden penatration.
The woman tries to grip anything of his, trying to find something solid to hold onto. He's under her clothes, seemingly his whole being infused with her skin. A whimper leaves her when she feels pressure on her nipples as he continues to prod her sensetive hole.
"Aw-"
J'onn is enjoying it greatly. Even if she cant fuse with him he's stil gaining much pleasure. Being so close to her body, evoking such noises, a part of him just wants to crawl up inside her. His mind pushes against hers in a attempt to get her to open up fully. He wants to feel everything, to lustfully let himself indulge in her whole being.
In truth, hes excited.
The mass begins to absorb her till her neck. He isn't restricting her movements, not at all. Just trying to feel the most of her.
"Nhm- hmhm-"
A groan erupts from him, a curse on Martian leaving his lips as he moves inside of her, the warmth suffocating him. He doesn't hold back on entering her mind, shuddering at the feeling.
Then he notices.
She isnt only experiencing pleasure. There's fear and panic, suddenly a big wave of telepathic energy throwing him out of her head. He gasps, pulling back only to realize hes taken it too far.
Her hands are shaking, her body tense as she turns. He didn't introduce her to this properly, of course he didnt- he should've realized.
"Y/N?" he whispers, cupping her face. She whimpers, her hand gripping his.
He didn't take this into consideration.
A big part of sex for humans is the physical closeness. Its something he most definitely has given her, just not in the way she wants or understands.
He calls out her name again, now morphing into his John Jones form. J'onn is aware she isnt bothered by his Martian one but at the moment it feels right.
"Its okay. Im sorry for scaring you." he can feel how terrified she is. Her heart is thumping fastly, her body awfully warm.
"Y/N?" he tries to get her to open her eyes.
He went about this all wrong. They should've talked first, damn it. Establish, explain, teach eachother whats acceptable.
He got too excited, lost his cool.
When her arms feel him now solid she immediately pulls him down. It kills him to feel her like this, knowing hes the one that made her so afraid.
Is this relationship worth it?
Can they be together truly?
They're different species from whole different planets. Only sense of normalcy is derived from his shifting abilities. Otherwise, they're as far away as some can be.
Her mind is a mess, not coherent enough for him to understand what she means. All he can feel is sadness and fear.
"Im sorry" he mutters, cradling her head, pressing a small kiss against her cheek. It doesn't seem to help, tears sliding down her cheeks as she gasps for air. He hears how she chokes, clearly in distress.
"Im so sorry.".
He tries to soothe her, his attempts failing when he realizes she shut down the link. On accident most likely but he cant deny the pain and panic the silence swirls inside of him.
Does she need space? But shes holding him so tightly.
Is it his form? Does she want him to transform into his Martian one? It seems like shes trying to hold onto something familiar.
What can he do to make her feel better?
The guilt gnaws at his chest.
"Please look at me."
He never begs.
"Please, im sorry. I didnt want to scare you."
The years of wisdom and intelligence has left him. All the expirience turned to dust.
He swallows tightly, his body tensing.
Should he just leave?
Her fingers grip his arms, trying to pull them. He follows her lead, wrapping them around her and pulling her close to his chest.
Silence fills the room, her sobs slowly dying down. Its eerie how fast everything can turn and become someone's worsts nightmare.
The telepathic link suddenly turns on, her words piercing trough his mind.
"(t/) Im sorry. It felt like too much.(/t)"
He shakes his head.
"(t/) Dont apologize. I took it too far. I didnt take into consideration-(/t)"
"(t/) No J'onn. Dont do that. I just didn't expect how intimate youd get. It felt... claustrophobic. (/t)"
He should've realized.
He should've thought about it.
J'onn grits his jaw, tearing up.
"(t/) I... I know you enjoyed it. (/t)" the words are filled with heaviness. Its clear he wont like what comes next, where this is leading them to.
"(t/) I understand we are different but i... I didnt enjoy it. It felt like too much. Especially when you tried to...(/t)"
Hes suddenly overwhelmed with the worry she feels.
"Im sorry J'onn- I couldn't enjoy it.".
A whimper leaves her throat, her fingers digging into his skin.
He nods, pressing a kiss against her head.
"(t/) Its okay. I dont mind doing it differently.(/t)"
"No- thats the way you do it. The natural way and I cant handle it." a small sound leaves her "Oh god maybe we shouldn't-"
"Y/N"
She looks up at him and suddenly the world comes crashing down.
Its not because he made her feel so claustrophobic she couldn't breath.
Its not even because she didnt find pleasure in it.
Its disappointment and a specific kind of self loathing of not bring good enough.
"You're not feeling well. Just because you cant-"
"I dont want to make you adjust to me. Its not fair.".
"Im the more adjustable one here. I dont mind it, I find it fun.".
"But don't you miss the way its natural for you? How can you be with me if I cant give you that?".
That one makes him pause.
A part of why hes so attracted to her is the chance of finally expiriencing what he thought was long gone.
"Im not going to lie to you." he whispers "I do. But we dont have to rush into it. I behaved too recklessly, went too fast. You've never experienced something like that before. Its not your fault for finding it overwhelming.".
She nods, taking a deep breath. The raw honesty is satisfying nontheless.
"Human sex must seem pointless to you".
He chuckles, shaking his head "I have yet to expirience it.".
The woman sighs before smiling, a exhausted expression on her face. He immediately understands what she means, shifting to lay next to her properly.
J'onn doesn't hesitate in attempting to soothe her mind, trying to lull her into peaceful sleep.
