#blog interna

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

inbox closed

and some thoughts on the future of this blog

Sorry to inform you that I will have to close the inbox for a while due to going on vacation soon. So unless the other mods feel in the mood to reopen it in the meantime, your questions will have to wait until I am back.

That being said, it’s gotten very quiet here anyway and I am thinking about how to move forward with this blog. There used to be a time where I’ve gotten up to 10 messages per day and now there’ll be weeks or whole months without any. So maybe it’s time to retire this blog altogether?! I’m going to think about it for a while before making a decision but I have a feeling this blog might be moving towards being more of an archive than an ask-and-answer format.

The truth is that I have moved away from bi activism also in my offline life... which doesn’t mean I’m not still supporting the cause, but in my opinion there are currently more pressing issues and so all my activism energy is going into supporting Ukraine. I also noticed that whenever we do get a message here I have little motivation to answer it, frankly because I am annoyed at my own words and the repetition of it all. This is not at all meant to blame any of the people who message us, I know that to you it’s pressing and feels highly individual. I do want you to get the help and support that you need. But I’ve spent seven years of my life speaking about bisexuality and biphobia, on this blog but also a lot in public (meet-ups, interviews for magazines, podcasts, panels, meetings with politicians...). It’s a lot of the same old same old. I’ve grown tired and I want other people to step up and add their perspective because I don’t want to be seen as The Authority on bisexuality as if my opinions are law of the bi-land.

I’m not sure any of this makes sense to anyone other than me but I wanted to let you know what’s currently on my mind about this blog and I guess I’ll let you know later this summer if I’ve made a decision on how to move forward.

Maddie

[apicturewithasmile]

I keep thinking that by the rate of my Alan-related gif making I could just as well make a side blog. But then again, I have a history of neglecting side blogs so yall just gonna have to live with it or unfollow or whatever, 97% of my followers are bots anyway.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

please keep your messages relevant to the blog theme

[Disclaimer: I hope I am not offending anyone here and this isn’t caused by any single individual ask in particular.]

Ever so often we are getting messages that have absolutely nothing to do with bisexuality or queerness. I feel flattered if you feel like this blog has given good advice in the past and you trust our opinions. However, a lot of things are just not my area of expertise and there are other resources and blogs that are waaaay better equipped to answer your specific non-queer questions than this blog that is about bisexuality. I wouldn’t even consider myself an expert on every aspect of queerness, for example I am a cis woman and thus my replies to specifically trans-related questions will always lack the personal experience aspect.

I say this because I often find myself looking at asks that have very intense and highly specific topics that don’t touch on bisexuality or queerness in the slightest. I can often see that the sender is clearly in some level of psychological distress but it sucks when all I can say is “I don’t know. I cannot help you with this.” and I also do not have the capacity to read up on every specific issue that has no connection to this blog’s theme.

so if your question isn’t at least somehow related to queerness or is about some experience that you’ve made because of your queerness, then please seek a different resource. this isn’t the place where you will find the information that you are looking for in terms of what life choices you should make or whether or not you have some medical condition.

I would count relationship advice as a grey area because the sender being bisexual might have some influence on the relationship situation even if it doesn’t look like it on first glance. But please consider that “how do I tell my partner that I am bisexual?” is much more relevant to this blog’s theme than “how do I tell my partner that I want to move in with them?”

From now on I will more often just reply that I do not know anything about this or that I cannot help you and that you need to ask someone else. I spend too much time trying to give long and personal replies that can be boiled down to “I have absolutely no idea how to help you with this, I am not educated on that and I have never experienced this myself”, so I believe it is both fairer to you because it quickly gives you the chance to seek help from someone who’s actually an expert and it’s fairer to myself because I simply cannot be expected to do proper research and emotional labour on issues that have nothing to do with this blog.

Maddie

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

happy holidays - I’m closing the inbox lol

dear kiddos,

it’s my last day of work for the year and if everything goes as planned I will fuck off all the way to Paris tomorrow so I don’t have to celebrate Christmas with the family.

Which is why I will pre-emptively close the inbox for the rest of 2019. Maybe one of the other mods wants to re-open it but I guess we might all be busy during the holidays and because I hate keeping you waiting for your replies I’d rather say goodbye for the year. The decade! Holy shit.

See you in 2020! And happy holidays if you celebrate any. And if not then just... happy days.

Maddie

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Kiddos, I’ll be out of town till sunday but I’ll leave the inbox open. I don’t know if I’ll have the time to reply to anything while I’m away but I’ll get to it when I’m back home.

Just so you know that it might take a little while longer before you get your reply.

Maddie

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

inbox closed (UPDATE)

Kiddos,

you might remember that I mentioned a family issue that’s keeping me very occupied. Unfortunately it will continue to do so until at least mid August.

To put a long story short: my mother had a breast cancer scare, it’s luckily only a benign tumor but they will still have to take it out. That means I’ll have to take care of her after surgery, have to take care of her dog.... and still go to work and get the Berlin Pride events behind me.

All of this means I have zero capacity (or rather minus 10 capacity) to take care of this blog.

I’ll see you all in late August when this is over and I can finally breathe again.

Maddie

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

We've hardly been getting any asks since the Tumblr announcement so I'm wondering if it's harder to find this blog than before.

Because most asks are anon I don't know if it's from people who already followed the blog or if people searched for "bisexuality" and variations thereof and found us that way.

I'd really appreciate if some of you could comment how you initial found your way to this blog - through tumblr search, seeing a post of ours reblogged on your dash, otherwise?

My guess is that it's gonna get progressively harder to actually find resource and advice blogs on here about gender and sexuality so I'd encourage anyone to promo good advice blogs so they don't die out or get lost.

Maddie

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

pro tip for anon messages

sign your messages with a unique pseudonym

type www.gettin-bi-bi-bi.tumblr.com/search/[unique pseudonym] into you url bar - this will give you all the posts with that word in it

that makes it easier to find a reply that’s been posted a while ago and you can make sure you didn’t miss it