Submission about toxic friend
I’m sorry but I need to vent because noone in my life gives a flying f**k about me. I’m in 8th grade and I’ve had this “friend” since 3rd grade. I believe hes emotionally and verbally abusive…I’m probably overreacting…Today he broke my headphones on purpose, he grabbed them off my head without my consent, every day he steals my lunch and if I fight him with all my strength I’ll get in trouble, he sometimes hits me when I’m talking and calls my only good friend a bitch. (1)
(2) He’s also destructive and has 0 sense of self control, and he tries to ruin me and my only good friend’s friendship. He is ruining my sanity and I’ve fallen in a deep depression, again. I was happy in 5th grade because I wasn’t at his school, I had to go to a different one. I had no friends but I would gladly trade him for that again. Not to mention that he attempted to sexually attack me in 4th grade. I wish I had those friend groups that actually cared about you and your sanity.
(3) But that’ll never happen, not to me, I don’t have one person that gives a sh** about my health. I would give him away for a friend that wanted to talk about his/her day and talk about mine, I really would, but I question if that’s even real. All my abuser says is sex jokes, it’s not funny anymore, it never has been and it gets old. He makes fun of my bisexuality and calls me genetically modified. Heh, and I hear “These are the best years of your life!” Well I must have one shitty adult hood.
(4) And I talk so positive about him, this is the first time I’m opening up and I’m on f****** anon and you have no idea who I am. I feel uncomfortable talking to adults, if I told any teachers I would probably have to some officey-dean stuff and I don’t want to have to talk to a counselor again. I f*****g hate this so much. On top of him, I’m made fun of all the time, and my good friend has no classes with me except for lunch period. I’m f*****g crying because of this shit.
Hello Beautiful,
I’m deeply sorry that you are feeling this way. If I could send you a hug I would! You sound really intellectual and smart. I’m glad you reached out to us and hope that I can help.
When I was in 8th grade I had several bullies and tried my best to search for a open-minded teacher at my school. I kept to large crowds of kids during lunch hour so they wouldn’t bother me and if so there were people who can see what is going on. If the bully approached me I would yell out for help. I eventually made good friend with the school counselor and explained to him everything that happened. He helped me so much, I couldn’t of done it without him.
I recommend you speak to a counselor, teacher, nurse you truly trust at school even though you don’t want to you could consider to ask one you haven’t talked to before. You can only handle so much on your shoulders and you deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. Even someone like a therapist or doctor you can confide in that is outside of school? Just to speak to a professional who can let you talk about your emotions and what happened to you during 4th grade as well about whats been going on in school. Building a support team is necessary and it helps to receive other techniques on how to deal with life. “Asking for help can be difficult and quite scary for a lot of people, remember that the mental health services that exist are there to help you. You are never expected to get better all by yourself, to learn to manage all by yourself, or to simply deal with everything all by yourself. Seeking support in friends and family is a wonderful thing, but professional help can go the extra few miles. Professional help can support you down the road of recovery, teach you techniques to manage your troubles and feelings, and lots more. Professional help can be catered to suit your exact needs, target your troubles in a way that suits you as a person, and help you to get passed it.”- MHA
These are some resources you can use if you need to find extra help:
Back to school/school advice
Getting Help
Bullying
Helplines
Web Counselling Resources
Extra suggestions for you:
Try joining a activity group (sport, drama, music). You will be able to meet new friends and ones who truly care and respect you.
When you feel depressed try writing in a journal, exercise, make art or write a letter to a family member you have been wanting to talk to. Remember to take care of yourself and eat a healthy fresh meal, drink plenty of water and get good rest.
Make sure to meet up with a good and positive friend after school
“Walk away when the bully approaches you. Try and imagine you’re walking away from a stranger. Both you and your body language will show you don’t care
Bullies feel empowered to bully one person, but rarely will they bully a group. Hang out with your friends. If the bully does feel like conquering the group, walk away.
If after using these tactics and the bullying doesn’t stop, it may be time to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to let someone know that you are being bullied. There are people who care about you and wi It may seem scary to tell someone but, telling will not only get you help, it will make you feel less afraid. If you are being physically bullied and are in danger you must speak with a trusted adult immediately. And if you can’t go to your parents, seek out a trusted teacher guidance counselor or school psychologist.
If you’ve told a grown-up before and they haven’t done anything about it, tell someone else. Tell them exactly what happened, who did the bullying, where and when it happened, how long it’s been happening to you, and how it’s making you feel.When you tell your teacher, guidance counselor or school psychologist, ask them what they will do to help stop the bullying. It is their job to help keep you safe. Most adults really care about bullying and will do everything they can to help you. Keep telling until someone does help you! NO MATTER, you deserve to feel safe. Everyone has the right to live in a safe and violence free atmosphere both at home and at school.”- Source
Document everything that has happened to you during school. Make sure you keep notes so if you need to explain to a trusted adult about what has been going on you can show them. Place these notes in a safe place.
If you have social media on (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.. please block him on there). Make sure to never add this guy to any of your social media profiles.
When this guy tries to steal your lunch, scream out “STOP IT”, “KNOCK IT OFF” . You may get a strange look or a teacher asking why you are screaming , then you can explain. Hopefully they can help you switch to a different lunch hour.
Switch your class schedule if possible with your counselor. Explain you want to be with your friend and that you concentrate better with her around. If your parents need to sign a paper explain to them whats been going on and that you prefer to be with your close friend. Figure out ways to convince them.
“Recite a mantra. A mantra is a word or statement that you can repeat that gives you strength and courage. Reciting a mantra in your head can give you power when you feel weak or frightened. Try repeating “I am fearless. I am strong. I am loved.”-Mrs. Yoga
Please stay safe and try your best to keep away from this guy who treats you in this matter. This is not your fault what so ever. Remember you are loved and cared for! Don’t hesitate to ask for help, even if you need to talk to a police officer. You’re worth the calmness, bliss, friendships you have always wanted.
“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”- Sarah Williams
Xx mha-lupita
