When talking about music in Germany it is very important to differentiate between the incredible music produced here like Die Ärzte, Kraftwerk, Peter Fox, Booka Shade, Wir Sind Helden and Boys Noize with the music that is actually listened to here.
In most clubs on Friday and Saturday nights at 12-1am there will be a moment where the DJ will play something he knows is silly, but will be an absolute crowd-pleaser. Songs from the 00s like Bieber’s Baby, the 90s like Everybody by Backstreet Boys, songs from the 80s like Toto’s Africa – girls in the crowd will "woo", you'll put down your drink, run with your friends to the dancefloor so you can laugh and sing while raising your hands to the ceiling, all in a wonderfully ironic haze.
This is the type of music the average German listens to...all day...and it is reflected in the awful entity that is German radio: a bunch of stations that are terrified to play any song you do not know every word to.
A typical tracklist would be something like this:
Don’t You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds
Billie Jean – Michael Jackson
We Are the Champions – Queen
Senorita – Justin Timberlake
Rock You Like a Hurricance – Scorpions
Be Faithful – Fatman Scoop
One More Time – Daft Punk
Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison
We also have these crowd-pleaser radio stations in Sydney, but in Germany I’m yet to find other “alternative” radio stations that don’t have Sonnentanz or Magician’s Remix of I Follow on repeat. It’s just extremely limited; but in their defence, most Germans will tell you they know the music is terrible. I'm still not sure whether this is just a defence-mechanism.
Anyway, apart from radio, I thought I’d single out a couple of songs that I’ve come across.
“No one steals anymore, instead friendly to cashier”
“Everyone is now a dentist, no more gangsters”
This song is in the top 10 in Germany at the moment and is essentially about the terrible consequences of the country’s success. The chorus: “Everyone has a job, I’m bored, no one wants to get high, drink and party” Tough life.
K.I.Z. are quite famous in Germany for their ironic and sociocritical lyrics. This song “Ich bin Adolf Hitler” is probably a critique on popular culture taking aim at hipsters, exclusive clubs and rich kids. Adolf wakes up from his “70 year nap, got a haircut from his trendy hairdresser, walked straight into the club because of who he is and did lines of speed, in the shape of a swatschstika”
It’s all very ironic, I’m told.
On the other side of the spectrum, German music can sometimes be so wonderfully different. I spent a lot of time listening to the Wise Guys in school to help me with my German. Their songs are clever, sometimes very funny and completely unlike anything you’re likely to hear an Australian singing about. This song describes a train ride after leaving his girl. He decides halfway to go back because he already misses her….awwwwww!
“Luckily I reserved. Cabin, window seat, number 8. The guy sitting there reluctantly made space for me”
Yes, he’s singing about being on a train. Isn’t it GREAT?!
This is the ultimate example of “Schlagermusik”. It’s currently in the top 10 here and will probably be the “Wiesnhit” (Oktoberfest pick a song every year to be that year’s hit). Germans will be standing on chairs singing every single word together, but after they’ll tell you what a terrible song it is, so don’t get too worried!
“Breathless through the night, I woke up for a new day, your eyes undress me, feel what love does to us, everything I am I share with you, we’re unseperable, somehow invincible”
This is why the world thinks European sucks. They don’t even have the excuse of Eurovision for this one!