Star telling someone/ or realizing her feelings for Marco??? I never seen a fic like that :0
The trek back home is much less lively alone, only accompaniedwith a light breeze that blows through humid April air. There are stars too, ofcourse, and the last creasing of the moon before it disappears into the sky,and Star watches them precariously as she walks.
Because the smile stuck on her face is really starting tohurt, and thinking about the constellations Marco told her all about is betterthan thinking about, well, Marco.
Marco and Jackie, specifically. To be even more specific,Marco and Jackie together – holding hands,singing to one another, kissing –
The street sign above her hisses and smokes and Star jumpsback, looking at the damage she’s done. Her smile falls and she curses,glowering at her wand that glows eerily back at her.
Great. More privateproperty destroyed because I can’t keep it together.
“Stop,” she orders her wand, shaking the staff in her fist,angrily speaking at the crystal as if it will listen. “Stop being evil andgreen. Stop it right now.”
It doesn’t, and Star groans before shoving the wand into herright boot – out of sight, out of mind. The rest of the way home goes ratherquickly – her steps longer and faster until she’s nearly at a run.
She doesn’t realize at first, with the wind against her faceand the air sweeping into her lungs, that she’s crying by the time she turnsdown the block leading towards the Diaz residents. The only light on inside isthe kitchen, and with no car in the drive way, it seems that no one’s home togreet her (or question what happened).
Bounding up the stairs two steps at a time leads her to herroom with ease, and she collapses into the pillows that absorb the sobs thatsuddenly can’t stop overflowing. She grips the sheets tighter – why is shecrying so hard? It’s not like Marco ditched her, or completely forgot abouther. She doesn’t get it.
She needs guidance – she needs to be told how to feelbecause whatever feeling is bubbling in her chest and leaving evidence all overher face is so foreign even she is unwilling to comprehend it. Star wishesGlossaryck was here, with little quips that could at least make her feelbetter. But she was alone – alone in her room, alone in this house, alone inthe world.
She thinks of her mom, who hasn’t reached out much since shetold her about how Baby’s inspection went. Though she acts cold sometimes withregalia and responsibility, she knows her mother loves her. She just has troubleimaging how she’d react to something as…unimportant as her developing feelingsfor someone.
‘Oh, hey mom. Rememberhow there was no funny business to be had here on Earth? Well guess what? I’msuper jealous of my best friend being with someone who isn’t me and it sucks! Also,I blew up a billboard.’
Star makes her way to her mirror anyway, gripping her pillowin comfort, because at least talking about it will stifle the thoughts thatgrow louder and louder and tell her what the problem actually is (though, nowthat she thinks about it, her mother may tell her the obvious as well).
She stares back at her reflection; there are tears stilltrailing down her cheeks, and her concert t-shirt is wrinkled and dirty. Absolutelyunfit for a future queen, but she hopes it’s enough to get her mom to regardher in a topic away from that.“Call –”
Her phone rings loudly, nearly jumping out of her boots. Shestares at her purse, pulling out her compact slowly and opening it, staring at itscontents as it rings again to reveal a new message above the older one. Anotherone follows quickly after that.
Marco Diaz – Where are you?
Marco Diaz – Where did you go? I can’t find you anywhere in the arena.
Marco Diaz – Star, answer me please.
She turns away from her mirror, reading the messages overagain. It’s hard to contemplate why she feels agitated seeing them – maybe it’sbecause she wants him to feel this way. Maybe it’s payback for the ugly cryingshe keeps doing. Star sighs, regarding them carefully and retreating, because sheknows that isn’t right. She may be unhappy, but she doesn’t wish Marco to be.
Her phone echoes loudly from the bubbly electronic music,displaying a happy photo of Marco above the bold icon encouraging her to answerthe phone and talk to him.
She doesn’t. Not because she doesn’t want to, but becauseshe doesn’t know what to say when he inevitably asks her what’s wrong with her.
Star does listen to the voicemail he leaves, though. She can’thelp herself.
“Hey Star, it’s me…um,Marco, obviously. Yeah, uh, you kinda ditched the concert and I wanna make sureyou’re okay…Please be okay. I’m really worried, and, um…I just wanted to checkin, I guess. I’m gonna try calling again. Okay? Okay, bye.”
Another message quickly lights up her phone before she hastime to process hearing his voice again.
Marco Diaz – Are you okay? I’m about 45 seconds away from calling 911.
The shaky laugh breaks through the rocks in her throat,reading the message over. He was such a Safe Kid - the most obtuse reactionsfor the littlest of things.
He’s such a great bestfriend, she thinks, and a smile creeps along her cheeks at the thought ofhim worrying about her. Though his over-reactive protective ways can be alittle jarring, she appreciates how much he cares about her.
Star takes a deep breath, wiping across the wet hearts onher cheeks. Calm minds get more work done, she recalls Marco telling her over aplate of nachos and trigonometry homework. And ignoring him is just gonnaincrease suspicions she can’t deal with right now.
Plus, worrying him isn’t fair. He didn’t do anything, Starreminds herself sadly.
All he wanted was tohave fun with two cool girls. It’s not his fault that he got caught up with hisgirlfriend.
She takes another shaky breath, exhaling slowly, and types apprehensivelyinto her phone.
Star Butterfly – I’m home. got sick. see yu tomorrow.
Star’s fingers hover over the send button, the additional ‘havefun’ hanging alone as a separate, broken message. They stare back ather and jealously she realizes that they aren’t even true. She deletes theseven words, her lip quivering as she tosses her phone carelessly across herroom.
She doesn’t…want him to have fun. Not unless she’s there. Notwhen he’s with someone else.
It’s unfair - all of it, because she wants him to be happy(she wants the world for him – she does. And she’d fight for it too), but wasn’the happy enough when it was just them two? And why, all of a sudden, is hisworld somehow a better place now that he’s with Jackie? Wasn’t she enough? Can’the be happy with her?
Can’t he like his best friend just like she likes him? Can’tshe be happy too?
She clutches her pillow tighter to her body, collapsing intoa tired heap on her rug.
Falling for her best friend wasn’t on her agenda coming toEarth. The entire point of coming here was to train in a safe environment. Butthe past couple of weeks have been nothing but screw ups on her part, and thiswas just the rotted cherry on top of an already-soiled cake. She wasn’tsupposed to develop feelings for Marco at all. But she did, she supposes. Andthey’re overwhelming – the thought clutching at something deep in her chest andbubbling up her throat.
She buries her face into the cloth as a new wave of sobscome out.
Star Butterfly never did anything right anyway.
