Someday when I'm not lazy, I'll definitely make a powerpoint explaining why Bob is an actual -sin-namon roll and why he deserves to be protected at all costs ♡
Happy New Year, guys!!! Of course I had to write something smutty related to the holidays, haven’t I?
Title: Happy New Year
Pairing: Bob agent of Hydra/ Wade Wilson
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Fluff, Romance
Chapters: Oneshot
Summary: Bob and Wade prepare the apartment for their New Year's Eve dinner party with family and friends
Warning: very long post
Contents: AU, canon divergence, romance, fluff, flirting, holidays, meet the parents, mercenary!Wade as usual, it may sound ooc, but its canon, when he’s in love he’s 100% into that, D/s undertones, bottom!Bob, top!Wade, Bob and Wade are hubbies
Wade knew that he must be driving his husband to the edge, but he just couldn’t help it, he wanted everything perfect for the night, after all, it would be the first time his parents’ in law, Bob’s parents, would be there for the New Year’s dinner.
"Hey B, I think the chicken-" – Wade tried, being cut right away.
"The bird's in the oven and turning the right shade of brown, Wade." It was something quite rare, but Bob was clearly speaking through gritted teeth. – I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Sir, I know how stressing it is for you, but trust me, my parents aren’t as evil as you think.
“I know … – The merc agreed while cutting some greens. “I just… Don’t wanna give your parents the wrong impression. Fuck, I mean, look at me. I look like a fucking bad designed testicle.
Bob sighed with a much gentler tone and a pacifying smile. “They are going to love you, Wade. I love you just the way you are, so I know they will feel the same. Don’t worry, all right? – He pressed a soft kiss upon Wade’s lips.
"Ok cool, I will stop freaking out now. Sorry ‘bout that, babycakes." Wade gave a couple of pecks upon his husband’s lips.
"I’m here, Wade. Ellie and Evan will be here too, so don’t worry.”- Bob whispered into Wade’s ear, pulling him closer; the solid warmth of his body steading the merc.
“Love you, B. Tonight your ass is all mine.” – Wade joked, nipping at his husband’s ear.
“Always yours, sir.” – Bob blinked in a defiant way before focusing on the oven.
The guests arrived at least half an hour later than they were supposed to be, but neither Wade nor Bob could complain because it gave them enough time to fix the house before receiving their family and friends.
Ellie was the first one to arrive with Preston and Evan Sabah Nur, who was a young man now, way taller than Agent Preston herself.
Wade wasn’t known for being too discreet, so the first thing he did when he saw Preston and the kids was run fast, embracing the three of them at the same time, pressing soft kisses all over their faces.
“Heeeey!!”- Wade greeted with a smile.
“Hi dad!! Hi Bob!” Ellie complimented hugging her dad and step dad at the same time.
“Hello princess! Hello guys” - Bob cooed as soon as Ellie embraced his waist.
“We brought the desert! Strawberry shortcake!” – Preston smiled, proudly showing her dish.
“You’re a literal terminator savior, Press! Can you put that in the refrigerator for me?”- Wade mocked, blowing a kiss for the android.
“Sure thing, Wade. Come help me out Evan!”- Preston required gently.
“Right away, Mam’. ”- Always polite, Evan replied with a smile, following the woman into the kitchen.
Besides the sound of the kids and Wade talking nonstop, the only noise that everyone could hear that night was the one coming from the TV, which was playing some cool holidays’ songs.
Every single one of the guests helped to fix the dinner table and the kitchen, but as time went by, Bob’s started to feel worried.
His parents were way too late and he was almost giving up when the bell finally rang around Ten, revealing his parents and his younger sister, Madeleine, who decided that it was a good idea to bring Richard, her husband that Bob hated with a passion, along with their kids.
Bob took a deep breath, praying for the dinner to work out because if his brother in law offended him somehow, he was pretty sure that Wade would kill the man in a blink.
Of course the first thing Bob’s father did was to give a good look at the apartment, with clear disbelief in his eyes, but he didn’t seem displeased at all, just a bit surprised.
“Hi son! Finally inviting us for your house, eh?’ – His father smiled. –“It’s a good place. Better than that shithole you called house once.
“Henry, please!”- Bernadette, Bob’s mom warned. “Hello sweetheart! I missed you so much!”- She said, hugging her son tightly.
“I missed you too mom and dad too!”- Bob smiled, hugging both his parents at the same time.
“Look who’s here big bro!”- Madeleine held her baby tightly against her chest.
“Maddie! I don’t see you in ages!”- Bob hugged his sister very tight, ignoring Richard completely.
“What’s Up, Robert?”- Richard greeted.
“What is he doing here, Maddie?” – Bob whispered, not seeming very happy about the visitor.
“Bob, please. He’s my husband, the father of my kids. I know I promised that I…” – Madeleine couldn’t even finish her sentence.
“Do I have to remind you who exactly my husband is, Maddie? – Bob whispered even lower, just so his sister could hear.
“Please, I promise he’ll behave. You have my word, all right? Trust your sister!”- Madeleine tried.
Bob didn’t even reply, he simply sighed, nodding to his sister with a soft smile before helping his parents with the rest of the dishes.
Everything was fine until Bob’s family arrived in the kitchen. Bernadette had her mouth hanging open, but it wasn’t on purpose, she simply was shocked by Wade’s figure. Henry stared a little longer than he intended, but soon enough he got over it, approaching Wade for a handshake.
“It’s a penis… Fuck, I mean, it’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”- Wade had to correct himself, he was so nervous that his palms were sweating
“Erm… It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Wade. Bob never invited us before, so I was very curious to meet his…Friend.” – Mr. Robert refused to say the word husband.
“Behave,Henry.” – Bernadette warned again. “It’s a pleasure to meet our son’s husband. Bob always talks a lot about you.
“Mrs. Bernadette, it’s also a pleasure. Look, it’s my fault Bob never invited you guys before. I asked him to avoid y’all because you know; I kinda look like a fuckin’ cheese.” – Wade always relied on his self-depreciating humor.
“Oh no, I’m sorry if I seemed surprised by your appearance. Bob told us about the disease. You are a survivor and should be proud! I’m glad you’re still here with us.” – Bernadette caressed Wade’s marred hands.
“Yeah, cancer fucking sucks, but here I am, 100% fine and ready to give your son the good ol’ sweet lovin’.” – Wade smiled, genuinely happy for being alive.
“That’s right, hun. Now, mom and dad, please take a sit while we finish everything else, okay?” – Bob offered, gently caressing Wade’s shoulders.
The rest of the night was went a little better than they expected and in less than twenty minutes the whole table was ready and everyone was properly sat with their plates. Richard was sat right next to his wife and kids while he took a third glass of wine.
Wade was at the kitchen with Bob, who was drinking his fourth glass of wine along with a shot of tequila. He didn’t want to be sober because something in the back of his head said that their little dinner wouldn’t end well as long as Richard remained there.
“Babe, come on. They are waiting. It’s your fourth shot, that’s enough.” - Wade whispered while stroking his husband’s back.
“You’re lucky because the drink won’t work for you. I’m done anyways, I’m still way too sober for that. Please don’t let me drink anything else after dinner, sir.” – Bob pleaded, pressing a couple of kisses upon the merc’s lips.
“You bet, babe. Never seen you this nervous before. Talk to me, B.”- Wade tried.
“I don’t wanna fight Wade, but Richard is an awful person. He’s really homophobic…”- Bob sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“D-Did he hurt you? Bob, if he ever laid a finger on you, I’ll frickin…”- Wade was cut right away.
“No, never. He didn’t lay a finger on me, but he hates me for being who I am and he never stays quiet about it. Let’s try to have a good night, okay? I don’t wanna fight with him. Please keep yourself calm too, sir.”- Bob almost begged.
“I will! Pinky promise! And I know you can hold your liquor, you’re not even red yet. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you calm too. If you want, I can play with you down there while we’re having dinner.” – Wade mocked.
“No, not now, Sir. Later, all right? Let’s go.” – Bob bit his lips, fixing his hair.
As soon as the couple sat at the table with their family, all eyes were focused on them, including Richard, who had a strange smirk upon his lips. Bernadette served a bit of casserole for the couple and smiled as her husband started to say the prayers.
Henry said the prayers, squeezing Wade’s and his wife’s hand tightly before attacking his plate, because the trip was way too long from city to city and he was starving. After him, every single one of them started to fill their plates with more and more food.
“So, Robert, tell me something.” – Richard started with venom. “Who’s the woman of this relationship?”
“What the…”- Wade had his mouth hanging open over the audacity of the guest.
“Richard, that’s something very rude to ask! It’s none of your business.” – Bob tried to sound as polite as he could, but he so wanted another shot of drink.
“You see, in this house we don’t conform to heteronormative standarts, but if you want, we can fix this in the ol’ un-christian way, amigo.” – Wade pointed his eyes to the walls, where his collection of guns was exposed with pride.
Richard gulped, throwing both his hands to the air in defeat. Suddenly he desperately wanted to leave, but he knew that if he gave away, his wife wouldn’t forgive him for this, so for the rest of the night he decided to remain as quiet as one could.
By Midnight, Bob was a little more tipsy than before, but still as sober as he could. Everyone was at the porch, ready for the fireworks. Ellie was right next to her dad, holding Evan’s hand while the rest of the family was embraced.
They counted from ten to zero and suddenly the fireworks started, filling the skies with beautiful and colorful lights of all shades, some of them had different shapes like a heart, or a star and Preston didn’t waste time, using her bionic eyes to take amazing pictures of the sky while she held the kids tightly against her arms.
At that point, Bob couldn’t care less if his whole family, including Richard, were watching them, because he was kissing Wade with a passion, pressing sweet pecks all over his face. That was exactly what he called happiness; spending his fifth anniversary with his beloved and with his family together. He couldn’t ask for anything else and deep inside he hoped Wade was enjoying their night too.
“Happy New Year, B!”- Wade cooed, nuzzling against his lover’s neck.
“Happy New Year, Sir. I love you.” – Bob smiled in return, resting his head upon Wade’s wide chest.
Cheers and claps came from the porch, followed by kisses and hugs everywhere. When the night was finally over, around two in the morning, the family was still at the couch, watching TV, while Bob and Wade finished cleaning the kitchen.
Wade and Bob were exhausted, so no one from the family complained when the couple announced that they were going to rest in their room. Ellie, Preston and Evan would sleep over, so they didn’t have to worry about the door.
Bob had his hands on Wade the moment their room’s door was closed behind them. The mercenary simply chuckled, holding both Bob’s pulses to the air, pressing some kisses upon his lover’s neck.
“You ok, babe?” – Wade asked just to make sure.
“Yeah… I’m sober, don’t worry, Wade. Just a bit tipsy, but I’m consenting to all of this, all right? – Bob nodded, pressing a couple of pecks upon his husband’s lips.
“All rightie…”- Wade bit his lips, as soon as he released Bob’s hand and felt his husband’s smooth hands caressing him over the pants.
“Hmm… You’re hard…”- Bob sounded quite sleepy.
“Take your clothes off, B. I’ll be there in a few.” – Wade ordered gently.
Bob just nodded, taking his jeans and shirt off, stretching himself slowly before lying on their bed. It didn’t take longer until Wade reached his husband, pressing kisses all over his pale body.
While Bob positioned himself a little better, Wade suckled on two of his own fingers, never stopping to stare upon his husband’s hazy eyes. Very carefully, the merc guided his hands towards Bob’s entry, giving him a nice massage, fingering him there for a while, but it didn’t take long until he took his fingers out.
“Hmm…I’m ready, sir…”- Bob sounded just as sleepy as before.
“Hey, listen here B. I won’t touch you like this, all right? You’re sleepy as fuck and I’m tired too. So, my deal is, come morning, I’ll give you the best morning lovin’ you deserve, ok?” – Wade tried to argue.
“Hmm… Okay Sir… You can do whatever you want… Love you…”- Bob nodded, finally giving up and falling asleep.
“Love you too… Sleep tight, babycakes.”- Wade smiled, pressing a kiss upon Bob’s chest, before covering both their bodies with the duvet.
----
Morning After – January 1st
Bob rolled over in his bed as soon as the first rays of sunlight hit the room, interrupting his much needed rest. It was probably still early in the morning because Wade was also still asleep, something that didn’t happen often because sometimes, when the chronic pain was too much, Wade wouldn’t sleep for more than three hours.
Sighing, the ex-hydra rubbed his face on the back of Wade’s neck, enjoying the musky scent that followed his husband everywhere. Bob couldn’t ask for anything else, especially when he felt his man shifting underneath him with a smirk.
“Hey B…”- Wade yawned with a smile, gently stroking Bob’s hair.
“Morning, Sir.”- Bob chuckled even though his head was pounding a little from the last night drinking.
“You all right, babycakes? You kinda had way too much fun with that tequila!” – Wade asked with concern.
“Hmm… Don’t worry, I’m fine now. Will drink a lot of water today…”- Bob assured, pressing a couple of kisses upon his husband’s lips.
Wade simply nodded, slipping a hand around Bob’s waist, pulling him close, attacking his neck with his mouth, biting gently, pressing wet kisses all over Bob’s pale skin. Meanwhile, Bob reached between their bodies, softly stroking his lover’s erection, which was almost fully formed inside his firm grasp.
“Hello, there…”- Wade moaned over his husband’s skin.
Bob was about to lean down so he could reach his mouth to Wade’s cock, but he was quite surprised when the merc stopped him, changing their positions so he could be between his husband’s thighs.
“Hmm Sir…”- Bob moaned as soon as he felt Wade’s mouth between his legs.
Wade’s tongue felt so warm, opening his husband up, his calloused hands spreading Bobs’ arse cheeks gently as the smaller man covered his eyes with his free arm; the other one resting gracefully over the sheets.
Bob almost winced a little when Wade mouthed him again and again, pushing his face in closer, flicking the tip of his tongue back and forth nonstop, sometimes giving a few playful bites on his husband’s blushing cheeks.
A few minutes later, Wade could hear his man groaning, muttering unintelligibly, so it was a sign to stop. He gives him a few more kisses and love bites before finally stopping his ministrations, reaching his hands on the nightstand so he could grab the lube.
“Wow, that’s was a mouthful there… Pun intended! Ba tum tsss…”- Wade joked, receiving a small slap upon his shoulder.
“You are the worst, Sir…I love you.”- Bob smiled, still resting on the bed, both his hands upon his chest to try and calm down from the high.
“As I always say, my milkshakes are the best, babe”- Wade pressed a soft kiss upon the brunette’s hair.
Suddenly Bob quiets, still breathing heavily but he's quiet, trying to catch his breath, aroused with the vision of Wade stroking himself with the lube. He’s very gentle when he positions himself between Bob’s legs.
Wade bit his lips because the sight of his husband underneath him, with legs parted and puffy red lips was arousing enough. He would never get tired of watching Bob just like this; of course he loved Bob in every single way, dressed, naked, bruised, all clean, with pajamas or anything else, but seeing him so vulnerable was the cherry on top.
Sliding a hand under Bob’s legs, Wade lifted them gently so he could slide his cock between the pair of lovely pale thighs, supporting both of his husband’s legs upon his shoulders before he started to play with his entry for a while before finally sliding his cock in.
Bob whimpered a little but Wade managed to hush him with a wet kiss on his shoulder, slowly moving back and forth, never stopping to look at his lover’s pleasured expression.
“Oh Wade…”- Bob moaned with eyes shut. “Wade...”
“Hmm…”- Wade replied with a moan because Bob felt so good he couldn’t even talk properly.
As the smaller man opened his thighs a bit more, Wade quickened his pace a little; pressing kisses upon Bob’s soft lips, never missing a bit of his rhythm. For a while, the only sound in their room was the wet noise of skin hitting against skin as the bead creaked underneath them.
“Oh sweet Jesus, Sir…”- Bob swore, biting his lips, unable to stop his trembling legs.
“Fuck, B… Wanna take you from behind…”- Wade hummed, never stopping to move.
“Y-Yeah sir… Please…”- Bob was really on board, lying on his side, careful to pass his legs to the cushion, standing on fours as his husband kept pounding him.
“Damn, babecakes… Look at you go…”- Wade hissed, feeling his heart racing with all the thrusting.
There was something incredibly filthy and sexy about being taken from behind and Bob (not so) secretly loved every minute of it. His moans became a little louder than he intended to and he reprimanded himself, reminding that they were not alone in their house.
“Hmm… Sorry for… Hmmm…. Moaning so loud, Sir…Oh god…”- Bob groaned, supporting his face upon his rested arms.
‘Shh, don’ worry, B… They’re… Probably sleeping… Holy cow…”- Wade moaned as quiet as he could, realizing how deep he was.
As the thrusts became a little more erratic than before, Bob caressed Wade’s sides, making he slow down a bit just so he could change their positions, lying underneath Wade again with legs parted.
“Oh gosh….”- Bob moaned again, biting his finger.
“Cumming, babe?”- Wade asked, gently caressing his husband’s sweat brow.
“Yeah….I’m close… Oh sir…”- Bob groaned a little more before his face contorted with pleasure as he released.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…. Gonna cum…”- Wade announced, grunting loud as he felt his own balls tightening, bringing his sweet release.
Bob couldn’t even breath properly, his heart was racing and he was sweating like hell, but there was a very cute smile there, especially when Wade pressed a loving kiss on his lips and pulled out, allowing the flood of come to run free.
“That was… Fantastic, Wade… Thank you…”- Bob huffed.
“You’re the one who deserves thanks, babycakes… Best fuck ever… Love you more than tacos and chimichangas and everything that is good.” – Wade retorted with a smile.
“Love you too, Wade… Thank you for being here with me for another year.”- Bob smiled, hugging his husband tightly against his arms.
“I’ll always be here, B, always.”- Wade blinked, returning the hug.
