When she thinks your being sweet with that little shoulder grab, but you know your dominating with that underhook... @teraoconnor #wrestling#bjj#underhook#bodylock#guardplayer #bjjlifestyle#wrestlingmemes #vegetarian #nomeatathlete #plantpoweredathlete #relationshipgoals (at McAlister's Deli Valparaiso)
Tommy still has bad days. The anger isn't gone, and though he's working on it with Brendan and the psychologist that Brendan and Tess insisted he see, Tommy can't always bury the rage.
Weird things trigger it. Like when Brendan wants Tommy to come in and give a speech to his school for career day. Or when Tess does his laundry for him like she's his god damn Mom or something. Or tonight, with what happened at Pop's house.
See, Pop still isn't allowed at Brendan's house. Brendan says they need to keep proper boundaries in place and that they aren't at a point where either Tess or him feel comfortable with Paddy in the house. Instead, once a month they pack the girls up and drive out to Pittsburgh for a weekend visit. Tommy doesn't go. It's not because of Pop. He just usually has training all weekend and can't afford to take the time off. But this time the girls have been begging him for two weeks straight, and his trainer has the flu anyway, so Tommy drives out after his Friday session, arriving just an hour or two after the rest of them.
Tommy feels the anger start to prickle in the pit of his stomach the moment he walks in the house. There's wrapping paper all over the living room floor - Paddy bought the girls presents. And he cooked. And he's fawning all over his grandchildren like the type of man who'd never wrapped his hands around his wife's throat and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed.
Brendan is the first to notice that something's wrong. Tommy is sitting at the opposite end of the table, staring at Paddy, leg jittering up and down so hard that the silverware is shaking. Brendan leans over and, in a low voice, says "You need to step outside for a bit, Tommy?" And it's absolutely, 100% the wrong thing to say, because Tommy went fourteen years without needing Brendan to look out for him. He's not his damn kid, he can step outside when he damn well wants to.
"Ah, no way, Brendan. Like I'd miss out on a chance to play happy fucking families with all of you," Tommy says and suddenly all eyes are on him. All except for Emily, who is still blithely playing with the doll Paddy bought her, singing a nonsensical song to it.
"Tommy. Let's go outside, c'mon man," Brendan tries again, and Tommy knows he's a second away from laying a hand on Tommy's arm or his shoulder and Tommy also knows that if Brendan touches him right now, he's going to lay him out. Instead, he shoves back from the table hard enough that the dishes all slide and Tess' wine glass tips over. He's up and out the door in a matter of seconds, but not quick enough that he doesn't hear Rosie whisper, "Mommy, why's Uncle Tommy mad?"
Tommy gets in his truck and drives, ignoring Brendan who's followed him out and is shouting at him from the porch, telling him to come back inside. Tommy doesn't turn around and doesn't stop until he's at the house, until he's in front of the bag and is hitting and hitting and hitting it.
An hour later and he's so exhausted that there's no room for the anger anymore, or the shame. That'll come tomorrow, after he's slept.
But there are good days, too. More than the bad. In fact, the bad days are getting fewer and farther between. Life is getting comfortable. Comfortable enough that, when Frank talks to him about moving out to LA, Tommy hesitates. But the more Frank talks, the more Tommy realizes that it's the right choice.
He doesn't tell Brendan until the night before he's scheduled to fly out, wanting to avoid the fight he knows Brendan will start. Brendan doesn't disappoint, trying to talk him out of it all through dinner, and then following Tommy up to continue his pleas while Tommy packs.
"Tommy. You don't have to go," Brendan says, standing in the doorway to Tommy's room. "Did I piss you off or something?"
"No, man. For the tenth time, it's not you. I'm going for work. Talk to Frank if you don't believe me," Tommy says, but he's not looking at him. He doesn't want to see the hurt on Brendan's face.
"There are plenty of fights around here. Plenty of gyms. You haven't even finished school!" Tommy doesn't answer any of that, just keeps packing. "Man we've...I just got my brother back and you're running out on me."
It should probably set Tommy off, but it doesn't. He knows what Brendan is trying to say, even if he's making a complete mess out of it.
Tommy doesn't have much to pack, even after all this time, and when he finishes he walks over to Brendan and puts a hand on his shoulder, right over where the Conlon family crest is. Right over where he tapped out in Sparta.
"I'll call. Every week, alright? And you're a fucking millionaire now. Think you can afford to fly out every once in awhile." That makes Brendan smile, and he covers Tommy's hand with his own.
"Yeah. Okay, you smart ass. Every damn week. And you let me and the girls drive you out to the airport," Brendan says and Tommy snorts.
