Pink tulips
Bokuto x fem!reader
ANGST TO FLUFF ANGST TO FLUFF ANGST TO FLUFF ANGST TO FLUFF
Sorry I got a little excited
I wrote this on a train in extreme heat and I was pretty proud of it at the time but idk anymore
You like like Bokuto, but you have doubts about his feelings for you. Does he like you back? Find out today on... my fanfic? Eh, just find out.
CW: one swear word and badly written angst
"Hey, how do I confess to a girl?"
The question caught you off-guard and you nearly choked on air. Once you felt you could breathe again, you looked to your right where Bokuto was looking at you with hopeful eyes.
You had to think for a second. Was it really that different to confessing to a guy? No, more importantly, why was he asking this all of a sudden? Does that mean...?
You pushed that thought to the back of your head, desperate to ignore the implications of him asking you that. But...
"Are you good?" His question ended your train of thought, and you nodded instantly. You must have been pulling a really worried face there.
"It's not all that different to confessing to a guy... you just invite her to a more private area and say what you wanna say. And maybe get flowers to smooth over any awkward tension." You tried your best to make your voice sound normal, excited even.
"...What kind of flowers?" He asked after a short silence. Why was he even asking this? You don't know much about flowers, much less about their meanings.
"Her favourite, I guess." You said, not being able to look at him.
"I dunno her favourite. What's yours?" He asked, slightly tilting his head when he noticed you weren't making eye contact.
"Hmmm... I guess pink tulips are nice." You said, looking at your feet.
"Seriously, are you good?" You glanced at Bokuto's face which was wearing a genuinely concerned expression. You put on your best smile, assuring him that you're well.
But in reality, you couldn't stand being in his presence for even a second longer. You felt like you were about to burst into tears any second.
"I gotta go to the bathroom." You stood up abruptly, trying to keep your cool as you walked away from him. You didn't dare look back or ackgnowledge Bokuto's noise of confusion.
As soon as you were out of his sight you sprinted to the bathroom, praying you won't be stopped by a teacher or student council member. There's no way you could deal with that right now.
You made it in, locking yourself in the first stall you could reach and before you knew it, tears were rolling down your face. You wiped them away, trying to collect your thoughts.
You were happy he trusted you enough to tell you, but this conversation just confirmed he didn't feel the same way. That you were only a friend to him.
And that broke your heart. You never realised just how big your feelings for Bokuto were. You felt a pain in your chest, recalling his questions.
"If she rejects him, I can have a chance with hi-" No, what are you even thinking?! How selfish of you!
The conversation replayed in your head, and you know you should support him. You know you should wish him luck and pray for his success. You know you should be supportive if him and the girl he has a crush on get together.
But it hurts you immensely to know that he doesn't like you back. That all those times he got close to you, held your hand or hugged you were just friendly gestures from a friend to a friend.
"It's okay. The world isn't over. You'll find someone one day." You tried convincing yourself, to almost no avail. While you knew the world wasn't over, it felt like it was ending for you.
You calmed yourself down eventually by pushing away your swirling emotions. You knew it was a temporary fix and that it's only going to delay your pain for a bit, but your greedy self couldn't admit the truth to yourself just yet.
You washed your face in the sink and practiced smiling briefly, waiting till the redness in your eyes was gone before returning to where Bokuto was.
You sat down next to him, ignoring his concerned expression and smiling at him just like you practiced.
"What took you so long?" He asked, furrowing his brows. "I had an... emergency." You replied a little quietly.
"Ohh... You mean that kind of emergency?!" He placed his hands on his knees, making a little thump noise. You just nodded absentmindedly.
"Shitting in school is the wors-"
"Hey!! Do not talk about it so loudly!" You interrupted him. It was a little embarrasing that you had to admit to doing that, even if it wasn't true. But it was an excuse nonetheless. Atleast you felt a little better now that he broke the tension with his stupid comments.
Your strange behaviour was quickly forgotten, much to your relief.
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A week had passed since that happened and you were holding up pretty well. No one has questioned you about acting strange aside from Bokuto a week ago.
Every time you even thought about Bokuto, you felt your chest tighten. But you ignored the pain, smiling and hanging out with him as usual.
You walked down the hallway, wanting to meet up with a friend at the library to study. You noticed that you're studying a lot more than usual recently.
It's because you're trying to distract yourself from thinking about him. Now was no time to be thinking of that, though! You had math equasions to solve!
At that moment, something caught your eye and you looked to your right.
You saw Bokuto holding a boquet of pink tulips and nervously talking to Yukie, the volleyball team manager. He was even blushing.
You froze. You wanted to look away, to pretend the scene in front of you isn't unfolding and greet him as usual after. But you couldn't.
Of course it was Yukie, they get along, they're on the same team, he even calls her by a sweet little nickname. They're perfect for eachother. They're...
You quickly turned your head away when you saw Bokuto's eyes shift to you. You walked away as if you saw nothing.
You knew it was gonna happen. You were expecting it, and yet you didn't feel any less horrible when you saw it happen right in front of your eyes. All of a sudden, you felt like crying.
You shook your head, feeling the sting of tears but refused to cry again. You have to be supportive, you have to be happy for him, not cry. But, what if Yukie rejects him? What then?
No, you knew Yukie. You knew she liked him too. She talked about him all the time, asking you questions like what you think of him. She must have been scoping out your feelings for him so she could know whether to make a move or not.
You took a deep breath, standing in front of the library. "Think math, not Bokuto" you repeated to yourself over and over as you sat down next to your friend, greeting her with a friendly smile.
After a bit, you sort of forgot about it. Or maybe you were just forcing yourself to think of anything but him so you wouldn't burst into tears during class.
Either way, the end of the school day was slowly inching closer.
"Hey, wait up!" You heard Bokuto's voice in the distance. You didn't stop, hoping that was meant for someone else. When he followed it up with a yell of your name you clenched your jaw.
You can't face him now. You sped up a little, hoping he would think you can't hear him since you were quite far away.
You sighed in relief when you didn't hear anything after, heartbeat slowing back down.
Oh crap, you usually walk with him from school, you suddenly realised during the last class of the day. It was second nature for you to be by his side at this point, which made thinking of walking home with him even worse. Even though you find it annoying, you're going to have to take the long route to avoid meeting him.
And so you did. After club activities you practically bolted it out of the club room, hoping that the boys volleyball team wasn't done with practice yet. You didn't even have time to feel relief when you didn't find Bokuto waiting for you at the school gate, running home on the long route.
That day, you came home panting and completely overwhelmed with emotion. You can sort it out tommorow.
Bokuto will tell you "Oh, I'm dating Yukippe now! Thanks for the advice!" and you'll say "I'm so happy for you!" and things will go back to normal and you'll forget about your feelings for him and move on and you'll be his supportive friend.
It'll be fine.
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Tommorow came, and the day after too. But you couldn't bring yourself to even look at Bokuto. It wasn't right of you to ignore him because of your own feelings, you knew.
But your feelings were so strong you felt like you couldn't face them, and facing Bokuto meant exactly that.
Sometimes you felt Bokuto's teammates looking at you with concern, but you never looked back at them. Bokuto is sad you aren't talking to him, you're sure. And you're sorry that they have to deal with him when he's like that, all because of you.
Maybe Yukie can cheer him up.
Akaashi had even tried talking to you in private, asking you why you're avoiding Bokuto with a worried expression that pained you to look at. You tried your best to give a believable answer while holding back your tears, but he definitely noticed.
This is such a disaster, and all because of your stupid crush on Bokuto... And yet you couldn't swallow your emotions and talk to him.
You wondered how long this could go on.
Today, club activities were dragging on longer than expected and you kept nervously checking the clock. You knew Bokuto's habit of staying after practice and spiking extra, but you were still worried.
After club activities were finally done, you packed up your things at light speed, not letting your club members question you and ran out of the club room to the school gate.
Only to find Bokuto standing in the middle of the gates, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.
You were frozen like a deer in headlights, staring at Bokuto with wide eyes while his narrowed angirly.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He questioned, tone uncharacteristically angry and serious.
It took you a couple of seconds to recollect your thoughts, before speaking. "I'm not..." your voice came out weaker than you expected. Wow, what a pathetic excuse... Rather befitting of you, no?
"Yes, you are! What's wrong with you these days?! Is it me?! Did I do something?!" He yelled, and you couldn't even blame him for being angry. Who wouldn't be in his position?
"No... you didn't do anything wrong..." you replied, looking at the ground in shame.
"Then what?!"
You took a deep breath, holding back tears from the strong emotions that suddenly filled you. "I'm sorry. It's me. I couldn't emotionally deal with you dating Yukie now, and I shouldn't have avoided you b...because of that." You almost choked on the snot building up in the back of your throat, still managing to finish the sentence.
"...What?" Bokuto's confused tone struck you all at once. What's there to be confused about?
"I'm not dating Yukippe! Where on earth did you get that from?" You looked back up at him, wide eyed. What? But you were sure that...
"I just- You asked me how to confess to a girl, and then a week later I see you talking to Yukie with flowers in hand and-"
"What?! I wasn't trying to confess to Yukippe! I wanted to confess to you!" He yelled, clenching his fist on his chest, only realising what he just said seconds after and blushing wildly.
You couldn't believe the words that just fell out of his mouth. You repeated them over and over in your head, your blush eventually mirroring his.
"So this was... all a misunderstanding?" You thought to yourself, not being able to look away from his amber eyes.
"I'm sorry, that just kinda... came out." He twiddled with his thumbs, looking a bit like a kid who accidentally outed his sibling for stealing candy out of the candy drawer.
"So why were you talking to Yukie with the flowers, then?" you were still not sure why he would even talk to her in the first place.
"Oh, come on... You can't make me say this..." he grumbled, blush deepening, but he realised you weren't backing down after seeing your expression.
"Okay, fine... Maybe I was a teensy weensy bit nervous and forgot what to say, so Yukippe was helping me recite my lines..." he looked to the ground, embarrased.
So... that was it?
Your face formed into a relieved smile, and you finally felt like you could breathe. Tears spilled out of your eyes, tears of happiness.
It all makes sense now. Bokuto was trying to be cheeky and hinting that the girl was you by asking what your favourite flower is.
Now you just felt plain stupid for all the tears you cried and pain you felt and trouble you caused for everyone involved.
"I like you too..." you said, stepping closer to him.
It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. He did feel the same way. All those hugs and smiles directed at you did mean something.
Suddenly, you felt a pair of strong arms around you and you leaned into him, hugging him back. "Aaaagh! I'm so happy!!" He squeezed you so hard that you couldn't breathe.
"I can call you by your first name right? Since we're dating now?" He asked excitedly, smiling at you.
"Yes, Koutaro." You heard a gasp, and then a hand moved to ruffle your hair. "That's right! I am Koutaro!" Bokuto huffed victoriously.
The words "since we're dating now" finally registered in your head and you turned an even deeper shade of red than before. Bokuto was... your boyfriend now.
"Aghhh... and I never got to give you those tulips." He placed his forehead onto your shoulder.
"Don't feel bad, it was my fault... Hey, how about I take you to that yakiniku place you mentioned one time? It's on me." You suggested.
"Hey, if you think that food can make me forgive you... actually, it might." he shrugged, and you almost giggled at his simple nature.
After a short silence, he continued. "Hey, hey, I have an even better idea. How about you just kiss me..." his finger moved to his lips "...riiiight here?"
