My Daughter. The Warrior.
Yesterday was fucking hard, y'all. My little girl spent most of it in the Emergency Room. The story ends well, don't worry! But, it was a heckuva day.
Her ear had been bugging her, and I told her if she woke and it was still hurting, to tell me. She said nothing, so I sent her to school. At lunch, they sent her home because she was hurting too much to chew.
We went to Urgent Care, they immediately referred us to the ER. They were afraid that she had a bone infection behind her ear—the kind that can spread to your brain and require emergency surgery.
There was 5+ hours of driving in my day, trying to juggle kids, feeling incredibly alone because I couldn't reach anyone willing to help—my mom said no and my ex was unreachable until almost 6—but we got through.
No. She got through. Yes, I had to be strong for her. But my girl had to be stronger.
Because I never imagined my 8-year-old would have to get an IV in her arm. That she would have to have an emergency CT scan of her brain. That she would have to be so brave.
The hospital was incredible—I love the local Children's Hospital and have been there with all three kids for various things—and there were some incredible staff members who attended her.
The not eating was hard. The IV was scary. The CT machine was loud.
But the staff explained everything to her beautifully and I even heard the word "impressive" uttered to how she responded. Once she understood what was happening and what she needed to do, she locked in.
God, she's so like me.
This is my flaxen-haired, golden-curled, hazel-eyed, pale-skinned girl who very often is mistaken for the child I'm babysitting because we look so unalike.
But the one place I see a lot of me is that once she understands the assignment, she can get it done. No matter what.
She held still when they did the IV. "It only hurt for a second!"
She did perfectly in the CT machine and didn't move an inch.
And when they finally cleared her to eat and drink, she was so appreciative of the sweet nurse who brought Goldfish and juice boxes, because the cafeteria had long since closed.
It's a deep ear infection, according to the doctors, because the scan was perfect and they were able to see that the bone was not infected. She's going to be okay with ear drops and oral medications.
This 8-year-old child handled the whole thing with so much grace and poise and strength. And I am so in awe of her.
My little one, I wish you didn't have to be so strong. I wish you didn't have to go through so much so young. I wish I could shield you from all the things that hurt you.
But I'm glad I got to hold your hand all the way through. It's an honor to be your mother.
