#bone tiddies

[facts-i-just-made-up]

What’s a titty bone shape like?

U

[sharkchunks]

The time of the bone tiddies is over, the time of the floppy bone ear is at hand.

[violetheart77]

[eepy-soublades]

bone tiddies

[anadapta]

Inktober 2k16 Skeleproblems #22.

[swampcowboy]

u can take my ribs… u can take my skull… but stay the hell away from my bone tiddies

[not-astral-alister]

we are mere days away from halloween and i haven’t seen any posts about the skeleton war or bone tiddies 

are you guys okay

[nobonetiddiesallowed]

I’m doing it. I’m finally doing it. What am I talking about; what is this “it”, you might ask? Well I’ll give you a hint: look up. What is in that picture up there? Ok, that specifically is Death from the marvel universe. I am not talking specifically about death from marvel universe version Earth-somethingoranother. I’m just using her as an example picture for the two bulbous things sticking off of her. I actually haven’t read anything she is in, so for all I know there is some very valid explanation of why and how those things are there on this skeleton (though I did a bit of skimming about her just in case I was making a fool of myself for using her picture, but I couldn’t find anything relevant so I highly doubt it). But that’s besides the point. I’m going to talk to you guys about bone titties. If there are titties that have no business being somewhere, it is titties attached directly to bone. Do you see this shit up there? Are you seeing this? Why is this a thing? Why do people always feel the need to put tits on bones?! Okay, that’s obviously a rhetorical question. I know why. You know why. I could sit here all day and whine at you about “Why is it people think the only way you can differentiate male and female things is if you give one massive tits, and why does having a tell matter so much to them?” or “Why is it so important they get a boner from some bones?”, but that’s been sung 1000 times about 100 different things (and if I do get off my lazy butt enough to write more than one post for this blog, it would get old bringing that up every single time--- and it would be brought up every single time, trust me).  Let’s just get to the important stuff. Let’s get down to what makes these titties so mindbogglingly improbable, annoying, and just plain disturbing when you think about the biology of them.  

Let’s get it out of the way what titties, aka the mammary glands, are actually for--- as in the function they were biologically created to do ala evolution, not what society deems their purpose to be (oogling). Mammals are warm blooded creatures of our planet earth that for the most part, all feed their newly born with milk from the mammary glands of the mother (ergo why they are called mammals in the first place). What does that mean in non-nerd speak? It means tatas are there to make milk for the tots. Or....probably younger than toddlers. Babies. Very young babies. Don’t breast feed your toddlers please. Best ween them off by then.

 But anyways, that means if a skeleton has boobs, skeletons produce milk for their young, right? ......And going with the assumption these hypothetical skeleton people can even have kids somehow, would their young even need milk? Do they have an immune system this milk would benefit? Can they even eat? They don’t appear to have stomachs after all. And that innards related conundrum brings into question, how are they producing this milk? Do they just randomly have flesh and fat in the middle of their chest to form these weird chesticles, and no-where else? And now the part I am baffled by the most, what are these random mounds of flesh attached to?! Are they just dangling off two of their ribs?! That sounds precarious! I don’t know about you, but those tits sound more like a horror show that might make me lose my lunch than something some horrible pun-fiend would call “titillating”. 

Option number two is that these are not in fact two random blobs of fat hanging off our hypothetical skeleton friend’s rib cage, but in fact two mounds of bone, like this well known picture below. 

Now.....I don’t know about you, but if I saw a skeleton walking about like that, I'd be more concerned my boney friend had some sort of growth going on than turned-on. Is that what bone cancer looks like? I don’t know. Have they been to the doctor? I’m not going to ask. That’s none of my business to pry into, but I’d still be pretty darned concerned. Also, this option just loops back again the purpose of the boob, and if they aren’t for rearing the young, then what purpose do they serve? What service do these lumps of calcium bring them biologically?! Eegads! Just, what the frick, bruh. Think of how off balance it must make them feel. Give a little empathy to the bag of bones you are trying to bone.  

Lastly, before anyone comes around trying to shame me for kink shaming, let me just say you can go oogle and solo-woohoo to whatever you want. I’m just pointing out the biological facts is all. Just calling em as I sees em.