12 days shy of two and a half years of breastfeeding my bean. Most of the first month I almost exclusively pumped for her. We overcame the obstacles thrown at us of her having somewhat of a tough birth and spending her first ten days in the NICU, with breastfeeding successfully and exclusively after that. It has not always been easy, it took effort and determination and plain old stubbornness and not taking no for an answer. Then it came pretty easy for a while, until the spurts of frustration, irritation, violation and OVER it came into play a bit after the year mark. We kept going. I knew she needed me longer and despite those feelings, I knew deep down I wasn’t ready to end that chapter either. The last few months I guess you could say I’ve loosely started “weaning” - emphasis on the loosely. It’s hard weaning a toddler that can openly express what she wants, and what she wants is what she’s had for her whole life. It’s also hard feeling like you might be “done” - like your body feels repulsed at times and at the same time want to be able to give your child what she wants because are you REALLY ready for this to come to an end? It’s a tug of war at my heart and head, body and soul, mind and emotions. I LOVE breastfeeding, it is something I am VERY passionate about normalizing and advocating for and supporting- which makes my feelings harder to understand , and yet I know and am a firm believer that you must go out your body and your own feelings too. So we’ve started weaning, I guess, mostly during the day…naps and bedtimes we still nurse to sleep - that’s our normal and her comfort. Baby steps on what I foresee to be a different leg of our breastfeeding journey, and am coming to understand that that is okay and there are no rules and you gotta just mostly go with the flow, such as with life. 💖 #motherhoodrising #bosomnectar #tribedemama #extendedbreastfeeding #normalizebreastfeeding #feedingwithlove
