#bpd remission

[midwestsad]

“allow yourself to feel bored” “when you get older you’ll enjoy feeling bored or doing nothing” “just sleep it off” good for y’all but being bored is like an icepick being stabbed into my brain

[couriander]

I think the toughest part for me about being in remission with my BPD is just looking back at all the damage I caused and the self-sabotage. So much of my behavior really was deplorable and the fact I hurt some of the people I loved the most just really sucks.

It's also strange to be picking up all the pieces over the years and sort of learning how to live at 29. I mean... I didn't think I'd be alive this long, lmao. So, it's a bit of an odd feeling to be not only proud of how far I've come, but also a bit disappointed that I'm not exactly where I feel I should be at my age.

Another thing that sucks is sometimes missing the chaos, only because it was oddly comforting. The BPD lows just became normal and there was comfort in the familiarity of it.

Don't get me wrong though, remission feels great overall. I don't have FPs anymore, the abandonment fears don't consume me, no more thoughts of SS or SH, dissociation isn't nearly as bad, and I have healthier interpersonal relationships. I pretty much no longer meet all the criteria for BPD anymore from a clinical standpoint.

So, yeah. Although wonderful, remission just feels odd sometimes.

[iamalittleufo]

I am confident that what is meant for me, will find me. I am no longer holding onto too tightly to what has already let go of me. -dontjudgemeforsinning

[midwestsad]

as hell as it is, i’m so thankful BPD allows me to feel music with all my soul, my whole body, and lights up my entire nervous system

[midwestsad]

the scary parts about bpd recovery is constantly missing how much worse it used to be, the doubts, and being extremely far behind in life compared to your peers

[midwestsad]

me: why do i feel so weird

bpd: it’s me, hi. i’m the problem, it’s me

[midwestsad]

bpd remission is like your symptoms being stored away in your closet. you know they’re in there but you avoid taking them all out.

[midwestsad]

I want to talk about remission from Borderline Personality Disorder so bad but I wouldn’t even know where to start.

Is there anything important that anyone would even want to know? Is it worthwhile talking about? I don’t know.