UC 49.13 - Imperial vs Brasenose
One might presume that having spent all of last weekend bashing out blog after blog in a mad dash of diminishing returns to catch up with the latest broadcast that I wouldn’t leave it until the day of the new episode to do this weeks, especially given all the promises I made in those blogs that I would stay on schedule henceforth.
But one would also presume that an entire parliament might not leave it until three days before a deadline to admit that they are no closer to solving the biggest issue their country has faced in half a century than they were three years ago, especially given all of the promises they had made about no longer erring from designated timelines... (little bit of Brexit for you there, in case you weren’t already full up).
However, unless the bout of the sniffles (whose sneeze velocity caused me to scare no fewer than two old ladies on the bus home) strikes me down any more than it already has (note as well that I am on the Lemsips as we speak) then I should get this done just in time for tonight’s final first round match.
The penultimate first rounder saw Imperial College London face off against Brasenose College, Oxford. Imperial have won The Challenge twice, both under Paxman, most recently in 2001, losing to Somerville Oxford as they tried to defend their crown the following year. Brasenose has the kind of old-timey name that makes it sound like it should be a classic Oxford college on the show, but in fact they’ve never made it past the second round since 1995 (and even then they went through as a high scoring loser, so they are yet to win a match under Paxo)
There are three Americans in the field tonight, and its Haugh, one of two on the Brasenose team, who takes the first starter, winning the buzzer race on an easy starter thats about speed more than knowledge. HIs skipper Hanson comes in on the first clue of the next Ten pointer, and it would have been pretty impressive had he known the nationality of the women’s triple jump winner at Rio 2016, but he doesn’t, and Imperial can steal in for their first points of the night. Imperial took two more in a row to open up a healthy 40-point lead.
A neg knocked five off of that, but Brasenose failed to capitalise, only managing a scoff from Paxman instead (Scott Joplin is not Cole Porter). That missed opportunity would prove costly. Brandon (both his surname and his chosen moniker, unless his full name is Brandon Brandon), wearing a jumper emblazoned with the Pokemon Gengar, cleans up a dropped buzz from Mullan and Imperial march (dun dun dun dun dudun dun dudun) out to a triple figure lead.
And all that before Brandon really got started. He would claim seven Starters over the course of the match, but when not buzzing he looks almost asleep, his face resting on his hand until he hears a cue word and startles himself into action. Seven could have been more too, and he looked quite annoyed with skipper Rich on several occasions when beaten to the punch. And despite his drowsy demeanour he moves his head like a dog at a doorbell when Paxman mentions botany - apparently his buddy Brooks is a big botany boy.
Brasenose don’t seem like a bad side, but they are steamrolled by Imperial, who posted the highest score of the first round so far (with only one match left for someone to beat them).
Final Score: Imperial 255 - 70 Brasenose
This result means that we now have two teams confirmed for the high-scoring loser play-offs (we actually knew this last week, but I didn’t mention it, so...). Sheffield and York will be joined by at least one of Durham and Jesus, Oxford, who are both next in line with 145. If the loser of Lady Margaret Hall and Downing score 150 or more then Jesus should get the spot, as their match was closer (I believe thats the precedent)